People love kids, partners, friends and icecream.
NO, you like a dish, love a person and adore a God.
When it comes to romantic love, I do think choice is a wrong word because we are more subject to a chemical state than we have a real choice. Those chemical imbalances are there for a reason and they show us once more we are just animals and subject to the same problems.
What you call "romantic love" is for me "attraction" and that's indeed the part where our animality is the most expressed.
In french we distinguish "aimer" (love) and "Ítre amoureux" (???falling in love???), there is "l'amour" (alike Xian God's love) and "le sentiment amoureux" (??? love feeling ???).
What makes a man attractive to a woman?
The fact the he loves her? Surely not, they could meet for the first time.
The tone of the voice, the body language, the smels, the general attitude, the self-confidence, the charism,...
To me this is not love, is more related to sexual attraction. And yes the nature made us such that when a woman/man sees an attractive man/woman it generates feelings who "pushes" her/him in the others arms. Here is the "conditioning".
Now suppose the man & the women have a relation. At the begining, it'll be wonderfull. If both are "in love" (i.e. have "romantic love feelings") they see the other just perfect, with zero default. It's a very intense and rewarding experience to live, no issue with that. But it will not last forever, there will be disagreements, misundertsnadings,... between them and default will start to appear.
After these feelings have decreased, the man could find the women stupid or anoying and decide start loooking for the next one or choose
to go on with her.
If they choose to share their lives, the just decide to better themselves together rather than separately. In such a relation, they decide to help eachothers to better themselves. They nurture the other's spiritual gowth
I think it can be a win-win situation because there is a kind a "coach" effect the other makes on you (plus many other advantages).
I'm divorced, I don't have any attraction or romantic feelings for my former wife. But we have kept contacts, I see her regularly and I consider her as one of my best friends. So I'm still loving her... as a friend.