It can be. Self acceptance and self love is essential to transcending to a better place.
In terms of marriage though, I find if a female is weak in certain ways I find it a bit scary.
It isn't about being feminine or masculine, it's whether a woman I'm considering would be a pillar for my family or a weak point that would make me and those i care about vulnerable.
That's why I'm extremely selective about choosing a mate. It isn't because I think it's because I'm so "great," but that when it's not just my welfare at risk it forces me to be more considerate in terms of marriage.
Even the most wonderful women whom I have the highest respect for may find themselves disqualified because of that.
Here is some of that nature of what self love can look like. Self perception has a way of shaping the opinions of others. To not care what others think is just a pragmatic understanding of human nature and human Dynamics. First, most people don't judge a person for what they did wrong, they judge a person for what they didn't get. A psychological primal sense of need someone else may have that is dependent on your cooperation. This person is often at your mercy and resents you for it. To make themselves feel better they will try to mask their sense of powerlessness by trying to control the element that reminds them of their lack of power, even if their "solution" is horrifying and wrong.
Understanding this simple precept is knowing that it is your responsibility to decide you've done all you can, because the dependent psychology previously described suggests an incapacity to make that decision on the part of the dependent.
All one can do is give the means and let go and hope for the best and allow gravity to do the healing work for you.
The other option was endless suffering indefinitely, which was unacceptable.
Reasoning with such a person is like reasoning with a full blown drunk. Many families are often forced to dissociate from a loved one because of that. Not because they don't love or care about them, but because they know their efforts are futile and any effort to placate the drunk is only feeding their false narcissistic image while putting their family in harm's way for no reason.
Compassion takes many forms, and sometimes the self aware compassionate response is to let a drunk run their course.
Edited by samowens84 (02/26/19 07:29 PM)