Page 1 of 1 1
Topic Options
#118014 - 01/11/19 06:10 AM I got called emotionally immature today
Strange Eden Offline
stranger


Registered: 12/11/18
Posts: 19
Loc: Baltimore
So I decided to spend 4 hours writing about it instead of being all pissed off at the insult and getting drunk...

The level of emotional maturity of any one human being, can be surmised with a single multiple choice question. What do you really want to be remembered as when you die? Admired, Desired, Respected, Feared, or Worshiped?

As long as you are honest with yourself, every person you intend to maintain a recurrent relationship with, and you are self aware enough to know your limitations, than by all means do whatever you wish! Go ahead and build whatever intimate relationships you are comfortable with. Do it and have a ball, but do it in full honesty with a willingness to be walked away from, instead of manipulating your way toward a self gratifying “positive”. Just because you think you can do it does not mean you should.

Exploiting another life for basic “earthly” gratification is the absolute lowest a human can go. By lying and manipulating another human being into companionship, adoration, or other selfish gain, what you are really saying is that you feel that your true self is inadequate, unworthy, or unfit to be connected with beyond fleeting flesh.

It’s not really the “moral issue” that you should consider most, it is the issue of personal safety. Even the most mild mannered person can snap and you may find yourself being publicly shamed and ostracized from your community and social circles, or slowly tortured to death all because you just NEEDED to manipulate something out of someone. Do not start a fight if you have to cry and beg for mercy when you lose it.

For those who know to seek it, Emotional and Mental Connectivity is far different than veneration or worship. The first thing is extremely rare and can be incredibly profound. The second thing can be purchased on a street corner. Which would you prefer to waste your precious earthly time on?

“Love is a temporary chemical imbalance of the true state of mind.” -Drew Hayes from the comic book series Poison Elves.

Do not tell a person they are “The One” if you intend to keep seeking attention from those who are not. Either stick with it, or recognize that it is simple minded to believe that there is one single perfect person designed by the fates just for us... Yeah they are floating around makin' bad life choices, falling for all the wrong people while they wait around for you!

Love, more specifically everlasting love between two individuals, without complete and total compromise and willingness to walk through hell is a faerie tale most foul! Regardless of your preference for one partner or multiple at a time, there will always be conditions, compromise, complications, and ultimately an end.

If you maintain honesty, and openness and you are capable of recognizing and respecting the true will of others, you will find that long after the “romantic” aspect of a relationship is past, a friendship and kindness that comes from true understanding is formed.

No matter how you live your life, who, why, or how you choose to develop relationships with people, you will never be content if you are not first honest with yourself.

And that is my 2 cents on emotional maturity, but what the fuck do I know?
_________________________
Do what you gotta. Just don't fuck up my hair.

Top
#118015 - 01/11/19 07:48 AM Re: I got called emotionally immature today [Re: Strange Eden]
samowens84 Online
member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 457
"Do not tell a person they are “The One” if you intend to keep seeking attention from those who are not."

Why not?

I mean no disrespect but I've made a lot of friendships along the way that others wouldn't understand or call whatever. Many of them turned romantic and honestly I couldn't have survived without them.

I'm going to ask you honestly, why do you need someone to depend on you as their only source? I used to be involved with a person like that and it seemed like she just wanted to roam the world and do what she wanted and have whatever friendships she wanted but also keep me in a jar. Perhaps that was the problem. How dare I insist on self-respect, dignity and equality in a relationship with a female?! The nerve. ;\)

I don't know your scenario but I do my best to help everyone who crosses my path and that in itself creates loyalty with varying degrees of that kind of emotional depth you're referring too.

I have my faults but I see my life progressing.

I like you so I hope you don't mind me asking, why are you so discontent when someone calls you out?

Is it really an insult, or are you afraid deep down they're actually right?

If you can see it from their point of view then perhaps that kind of understanding, love and kindness is something you can find if you perhaps can approach them with some humility and compassion. Because who knows. Maybe, just maybe, this person is right and you're wrong?

Stranger things have happened.


Edited by samowens84 (01/11/19 08:46 AM)

Top
#118017 - 01/11/19 11:33 PM Re: I got called emotionally immature today [Re: Strange Eden]
CanisMachina42 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1352
Loc: CA
Short answer:

Translation: Someone really hurt your feelings and you want to talk about yourself. Selfishness is the only thing virtuous here, objectively speaking.

Long Answer:

Understandable. Being used is not fun. When a person lies to your face to run their 'game' it can leave one feeling completely used.

As far as lowest I would say abduction, rape, torture, and murder still beats lying to fuck someone.

Love is not that virtuous. It is possessive.

It is created by an initial chemical attraction and reinforced with endorphins, serotonin, homones, and dopamine produced by affection on bonding. That is what those feelings of love are.

It is also really new in reference to the species timeline. Civilization begat monogamy. When man was breeding out the Neanderthal they were more like our wild ape cousins fucking everything in sight. The 3% Neanderthal DNA in my blood can attest to this.

Also the Greeks with their public bath sex orgies, but they much more 'dionysian'. In fact everyone lived to fuck until monotheism and its strict doctrine of suggested virtues and patriarchal subjugation of females via original sin.

The rise in polyamorous and completely untrusting relationships shows the 'spirit' is willing but the mind is not. Like in a F-F-M scenario the guy will NEVER be sided with ON ANYTHING EVER, and is kept under the bed to be used when needed.

Really it is just more advantageous to have kin and not rotate every mating cycle like other mammals. Their world is not monetized, this one is. With that are much greater consequences for infidelity, a legal term. There is a security that starts with the 'love' chemicals. It is primarily a selfish drive for the survival of yourself and the nouns you have in your life.

While it is highly disrespectful by current standards, it is a tendency indulged by 198,000 of 200,000 years in the history of Homo sapien - The species that rewrote its own mating behavior.

This has been way too long of an answer.
_________________________
...from all the unborn chicken voices in my head.

Top
#118018 - 01/12/19 12:19 AM Re: I got called emotionally immature today [Re: CanisMachina42]
samowens84 Online
member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 457
On your regard, women sometimes treat men like that because men allow themselves too. In my case, if females use me like that I cur them off in a heartbeat, because I don't need that shit.

As far as I'm concerned I don't give a fuck what other people decided the world is, I'm creating my own, and it will be on my terms. And if females decide to stay they can, if they want to impose that set of standards they know where the door is and can fuck off real quick.

Any question regarding how my world should look can get bent, and fuck historical justification. And if women want to take credit for the way the world had been for the past ten to twenty years they're welcome. Seems they had made it worse by using history as an excuse to shit on people rather than improve things.

As far as love being possessive, that's your prerogative to view it that way. All I can say is thank Satan we're not together in that way. Love is a responsibility in which two equal partners are equally possessed and equally responsible and mutually beneficial when done correctly. Its a power perhaps beyond your understanding due to your jade and pain and I understand that. But your view is not something I have sympathy for nor will I allow for it in my life because I don't need it.

Perhaps you do.

However, in my scenario the main problem wasn't about me. It was that she was afraid and used someone else to shield her. In orser to avoid harm it seemed like she is willing to put skmeone else in harms way to avoid danger. a bit cowardly. And might imply she's done it before. Its more about character that's a bit disappointing that likely goes further then that one incident, if you get my drift.


Edited by samowens84 (01/12/19 12:30 AM)

Top
#118019 - 01/12/19 12:41 AM Re: I got called emotionally immature today [Re: samowens84]
aeon6 Offline
member


Registered: 04/16/18
Posts: 204
Loc: København, Denmark
Why must your life be riddled with such strife?
You have at hand an existence best improved with *fewer* women around you, until you are better able to resonate with "them". To me that would be an opportunity to surmount an obstacle and come out even better at the end. Wisdom and hindsight can rarely be sudden epiphanies so take the chance and torment yourself no longer.

Top
#118020 - 01/12/19 01:10 AM Re: I got called emotionally immature today [Re: aeon6]
samowens84 Online
member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 457
I was open to that idea, until it seemed my energy appeared to becoming a wedge between them. That's not me manifesting anything when I say that, just an observation. So much so that they used extreme lengths to try to put me at arms length, which was completely unnecessary since an honest open conversation was all that would have been required. So I guess the childish tactics did cause me to lose just a smidgen of respect you might say.

So as far as what you're saying, that advice might be better suited for them rather than for me. Just saying. I'm not scary, and I'm capable of having that kind of sexual attraction with a woman and just enjoy it in interactions without expecting anything. All that needs to be said. The problems are more on their end. I'm not sure what that's about. Maybe they want to fuck me but just causes their own sexual tension to bounce. Or perhaps they fear I might have expectations. My read on the situation is that they are aware that my energy is more like a female then a male. The reason I say that is because they seem accustomed to man sharing, but for some reason I'm treated like a threat to their relationship, so I might piss and moan about it, but really that's just about me and I don't want to fuck up their shit. They seem to have a good thing going, and my personal frustration is most women seem to not be able to handle it without it causing strife. So much of my reaction is more like "Here we go again. Another couple I have to distance myself from" if you get me. It happens so often sometimes I just start to get used to the idea of being alone so to speak.

Top
#118021 - 01/12/19 01:19 AM Re: I got called emotionally immature today [Re: samowens84]
CanisMachina42 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1352
Loc: CA
 Quote:
As far as I'm concerned I don't give a fuck what other people decided the world is, I'm creating my own, and it will be on my terms. And if females decide to stay they can, if they want to impose that set of standards they know where the door is and can fuck off real quick.


So you have epistemological/praxial provenance? Your worldview, and the related behavior is a prerequisite and/or caveat of your attention? Seems demanding at the outset.

 Quote:
As far as love being possessive, that's your prerogative to view it that way. All I can say is thank Satan we're not together in that way. Love is a responsibility in which two equal partners are equally possessed and equally responsible and mutually beneficial when done correctly


Which fucking one is it? Dude you're supposed to have a few posts in between contradictory statements. And stop projecting onto my statement. I said love is possessive. Or as Bender said, "There is no great love without great jealousy".

Ideally the "equal partner" thing is appealing, but that's a myopic world where the Frank Sinatras never existed.  Mammal = Male/aggressor, Female/submissive.

Only weird children with domineering mothers and castrated fathers have an inability to adjust to that. To never witness the father make a decision the offspring has only surrogate points of reference.

As much as equality folk want to emancipate  all 58 genders you will still be subjected to society where (for the most part) the male pursues the female, the male pursues the male, and the female pursues the female.  Even the latter two examples have a more dominant member of the relationship.

 * In my mother's 60's feminist world of equality she still had the last world. They were 'equal'.  Fuck if that didn't beta caste me from the outset.

In fact I have yet to hear or witness what I would call a truly equal partnership. There is always one sleeping closer to the door.
_________________________
...from all the unborn chicken voices in my head.

Top
#118022 - 01/12/19 01:40 AM Re: I got called emotionally immature today [Re: CanisMachina42]
samowens84 Online
member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 457
 Originally Posted By: CanisMachina42
 Quote:
As far as I'm concerned I don't give a fuck what other people decided the world is, I'm creating my own, and it will be on my terms. And if females decide to stay they can, if they want to impose that set of standards they know where the door is and can fuck off real quick.


So you have epistemological/praxial provenance? Your worldview, and the related behavior is a prerequisite and/or caveat of your attention? Seems demanding at the outset.

 Quote:
As far as love being possessive, that's your prerogative to view it that way. All I can say is thank Satan we're not together in that way. Love is a responsibility in which two equal partners are equally possessed and equally responsible and mutually beneficial when done correctly


Which fucking one is it? Dude you're supposed to have a few posts in between contradictory statements. And stop projecting onto my statement. I said love is possessive. Or as Bender said, "There is no great love without great jealousy".

Ideally the "equal partner" thing is appealing, but that's a myopic world where Frank Sinatra never existed.  Mammal = Male/aggressor, Female/submissive.

Only weird children with domineering mothers and castrated fathers have an inability to adjust.  To never witness the father make a decision the offspring has only surrogate points of reference.

As much as equality folk want to emancipate  all 58 genders you will still be subjected to society where the male pursues the female, the male pursues the male, and the female pursues the female.  Even the latter two examples have a more dominant member of the relationship.

 * In my mothers 60's feminist world of equality she still had the last world. They were equal.  Fuck if that didn't beta caste me from the outset.

In fact I have yet to hear or witness what I would call a truly equal partnership.


The first pride and knowing my worth, and seeing evidence of it.
I do indeed demand respect or I exit. Not in any imposing way. People who know me beyond this forum understand me to be kind and respectful in my interactions. I value dignity and self respect above any and all relationships. When that isn't respected its time to go because to behave otherwise would be unhealthy.

As far as equal partnerships go, I understand your lack of exposure to them, but that doesn't make them impossible. As far as your gender roles are concerned they're limited. And you're factually wrong in my personal experience. Some females do pursue me, and often I can be more naturally submissive due to my fluid and adaptable nature. That's where I see potential for an equal partnership with a female.

If that's not something that appeals to any specific female in the room, that's perfectly fine. Just means its time for le to look elsewhere, or reject everyone for the sake of self respect. Being willing to to be alone is important. Being willing to walk away is the key power to leveraging an equitable relationship. Otherwise people treat you like shit because they take you for granted. And assuming even that I'm overvaluing my company, my personal self-respect is still infinitely more valuable then any relationship.

Its that simple, really. All this other talk about social structure and history is just bullshit really as a piss poor substitute for relationship skills. And if you think those are lacking, well, you're not missing out are you?

Top
#118023 - 01/12/19 02:40 AM Re: I got called emotionally immature today [Re: samowens84]
CanisMachina42 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1352
Loc: CA
There is benefit to having a patriarchal family structure, especially in North American (as opposed to european) culture. It makes relationships easier to navigate if you have been initially acclimated to the eventual dynamic you will encounter in heterosexual procreation. Otherwise you are degrees of feral.

Call that the super-majority. The standard approach to breeding.

In fact if one were to do a nature documentary on humans here is The Mutual of Omaha dudes dialog.

 Originally Posted By: Nature Doc Narrator
And now we are moving to observe the mating ritual of Homo sapien.  Observe the location. They refer to these as bars and nightclubs. They are spread out per population density to ensure there are enough of these establishments to meet the breeding needs.

Notice their attire. The females are wearing revealing clothing and gyrating to what they call music. This is to show they are here to be noticed.

While the female can give cues the male must initiate the first contact if he hopes to get laid, and one day pass forth his genetic material, or have it rendered inert via ortho cyclen. You see an accomplished male in a nice collared shit. You'll notice as he walks up to talk to a particular female she doesn't walk away.

There it is, he just initiated conversation with this total stranger. If all goes well in a minute he will offer her a drink. Notice her lack of hesitation. The ice has  officially been broken.

As they talk the female is twirling her hair and showing more of her teeth. This is a sign the female is receptive to the forthcoming proposition.

Now you'll notice as he accidentally shows his AUDI key fob.


And so on..

There is the nature defined gender roles where gender is most applicable, breeding.

Consider yourself a minority if the initial way you interact, and the initial personality you give any patner doesn't dictate the rest of the relationship and define an aggressor/submissive role.

For fun: I have talked to people that have lived in Qatar. Nightclubs there are segregated by gender and the western hits playlist is 100 songs that get rotated every 5 years. As stated, "After years of hearing it you want to bash Adele's head in with a hammer".

In Qatar there is no question who the submissive one is.

_________________________
...from all the unborn chicken voices in my head.

Top
#118024 - 01/12/19 04:32 AM Re: I got called emotionally immature today [Re: CanisMachina42]
samowens84 Online
member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 457
Well, glad I don't live in Qatar lol.

I can see how some might like that. You don't have to think or adapt. To each their own.

Top
#118025 - 01/12/19 05:16 AM Re: I got called emotionally immature today [Re: Strange Eden]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3311
So you got insulted and as a result felt offended.
Your options were to get pissdrunk or wasting yout time venting it to anonymous others.

You are immature.
The guy or gal who insulted you has a point.

Grow up.
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

Top
#118026 - 01/12/19 05:03 PM Re: I got called emotionally immature today [Re: CanisMachina42]
samowens84 Online
member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 457
Much of the reason I have some aggression and possessiveness more jealous for my independence rather than a partner is that often a female will already decide who I am and then proceed to "educate" me on my identity. That projection your experience does produce a visceral reaction for good reasons. My myopic view, as you refer to my perspective, has done me more good than any other relationship. Unfortunately, many females have come to me thinking they'll be the exception, but often prove to be no more than a more sophisticated version of the same thing.

I'm not without faith though, but this is the background to a lot of my reaction. I understand the consequences of an unequal relationship only too well. In my expression here its not so much that I expect more of the same. What Aeon6 said is my general perspective, but only showing that side is what Chris Rock called meeting my representative. Its important to be open in order to give a relationship the greatest potential for success.

My personality is pretty straight forward, in spite of fluid appearances. If a female doesn't threaten my emotional and spiritual independence then she will get the more loving aspect of me. That doesn't mean I don't value accountability, because I actually give a damn in a relationship.

The general crux is that many females have a hard time trusting that our moralities are nearly identical, and so rather than trust me some will just try to power me down rather than give me a chance, and I'm no good to anyone if I were to allow that to happen.

Also, being heterosexual keeps me in a position to continue to protect my family and people I care about. Part of my spiritual responsibility beyond intercourse or relationships. Keeps me close to my responsibility to the earth. So potentially that is why I'm determined to never change even if it means being single forever. Which I'm certain it won't, but that's my level of commitment if I'm being honest.


Edited by samowens84 (01/12/19 05:16 PM)

Top
#118028 - 01/12/19 10:11 PM Re: I got called emotionally immature today [Re: samowens84]
samowens84 Online
member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 457
I'm in a good mood and just for tongue in cheek purposes thought I'd post this song

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rLzfo59AdE...lient=mv-google

Top
Page 1 of 1 1


Moderator:  Woland, TV is God, fakepropht, SkaffenAmtiskaw, Asmedious, Fist 
Hop to:

Generated in 0.039 seconds of which 0.005 seconds were spent on 26 queries. Zlib compression disabled.