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#118866 - 03/08/19 08:43 PM Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic)
Thetruthisrare66 Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/03/19
Posts: 15
Hello the purpose of this forum is for people to share why they choose to become Satanist. I was specifically looking for reason's on what caused your why? The societal influences, relationship's, experiences, books, time in life, that made you make that decision.
Thanks for sharing

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#118867 - 03/08/19 08:57 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Thetruthisrare66]
Dark Light 444 Offline
member


Registered: 08/02/17
Posts: 366
You're at the wrong site.
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#118872 - 03/09/19 07:31 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Dark Light 444]
Thetruthisrare66 Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/03/19
Posts: 15
????? what's your problem, If you don't want to answer the question then just don't fucking comment.
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#118873 - 03/09/19 08:24 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Thetruthisrare66]
Dark Light 444 Offline
member


Registered: 08/02/17
Posts: 366
My problem is your lack of understanding about this forum. Why don’t you dig around the archives and learn a thing or two before posting idiotic crap.
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#118874 - 03/09/19 08:52 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Thetruthisrare66]
samowens84 Offline
active member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 660
 Originally Posted By: Thetruthisrare66
????? what's your problem, If you don't want to answer the question then just don't fucking comment.


Because some people are bitter and unhappy and so enjoy an easy target. Just because they assume the title "Satanist" doesn't necessarily make them any less mundane.

The question was phrased poorly, but it is an interesting question nonetheless.

The reason no one would answer though is that if you had to ask you'd never know. It's something one is born into, in my opinion. Society is something one has to navigate, whether one identifies as "satanic" or not. But due to the struggle we are separate from most others. Not necessarily by choice, and so validate our own experiences.

I like my life and had to fight very hard against the grain to make a beautiful world for myself. I like a scene from the movie Sylvia when Plath's mother said "you'll have to forgive my friends, Ted. They hadn't had the advantages you've had." His response was "and what might they be."

"Having to fight for what you want."

Being born out of a certain mold and have to fight for one's place in society offers a kind of privileged position in contrast to those who have had the luxury of taking their place in the world for granted. Most of those in that position never had to look at themselves as some of us have.

Some of that means being forced to accept most won't understand. That sense of lonliness can leave some on this path bitter because of the sense of isolation and dissolutionment.

Especially since that removal from more simple happy lives and being coerced into transformation was like being raped. And so, you are touching on a raw nerve there.

Hence, the rude response you received, likely.

But that aside, he or she was right. You're better off looking in the archives. Information you want is mostly there, and you won't necessarily have to confront any bitter and lonely people. ;\)


Edited by samowens84 (03/09/19 08:54 AM)

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#118875 - 03/09/19 10:51 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Dark Light 444]
Kori Houghton Offline
member


Registered: 11/23/15
Posts: 182
Loc: East Coast USA
 Originally Posted By: Dark Light 444
My problem is your lack of understanding about this forum. Why don’t you dig around the archives and learn a thing or two before posting idiotic crap.


Good suggestion! New members who don't understand why you inserted yourself into a topic you find so distasteful -- this one -- should take a look at some of the topics you've commented on. Those discussions might very well clue them in.
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Only Man cares for Man; the Universe doesn't give a shit. -- Marcelo Ramos Motta

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#118876 - 03/09/19 05:08 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Kori Houghton]
Thetruthisrare66 Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/03/19
Posts: 15
I think you guys are a bit to sensitive. The question is a normal question, and your own reason for becoming a Satanist could very well differ from somebody else is. You guy's are not the only people who go by Satanist.
But I will not engage in argument's on the internet so whatever you guy's feel, is your's alone.

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#118877 - 03/09/19 09:43 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Thetruthisrare66]
Spida Offline
member


Registered: 02/19/17
Posts: 206
Loc: Maine
Post one :
 Quote:
lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol


Post two :
 Quote:
very accurate


Apparently this site currently hasn't any moderation, or you would most certainly be banned for posting mindless ignorant garbage such as the above.

Either you are too fucking stupid to realize this, or are looking to antagonize.

I myself may/may not be using this site properly, but would prefer be warned in the presence of staff than to see garbage like the above being posted here.

There are some very intelligent users here that write brilliantly with the flair on an artist, and you, whomever you are. Are a cosmetic; intellectual blemish, and waste of fucking space.

Generally speaking though, and being who I am. I do understand why people like you exist. Although under normal conditions your presence would not be tolerated.

The trend continues.
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#118879 - 03/10/19 12:44 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Spida]
CanisMachina42 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1557
Loc: Ca
 Quote:
Apparently this site currently hasn't any moderation


It's what happens when you put Flanders in charge?
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#118880 - 03/10/19 03:42 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: CanisMachina42]
aeon6 Offline
member


Registered: 04/16/18
Posts: 278
Loc: Křbenhavn, Denmark
Sunday morning and the church bells here are ringing, but no daft flocks attend. Flanders and Abu might make the ideal pair for something mischievous or Satanic, similar to Max und Moritz. Those two little pricks got away with rude lessons.
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#118883 - 03/10/19 07:53 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Kori Houghton]
Dark Light 444 Offline
member


Registered: 08/02/17
Posts: 366
You’re defending a user who’s already on a three day ban? Awesome. Don’t you look clever now that you’ve put me in my place.
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#118884 - 03/11/19 01:38 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Dark Light 444]
Bella Donna Offline
pledge


Registered: 05/30/12
Posts: 56
This is a great example of what happens when people forget to mind their own business and start to target other instead. \:D

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#118887 - 03/11/19 11:55 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Bella Donna]
Kori Houghton Offline
member


Registered: 11/23/15
Posts: 182
Loc: East Coast USA
This is a public forum where anyone can read, and registered users can post. Replying to publicly posted comments is not "targeting" anyone. No forum could exist if the aim of all its members was minding their own business rather than interacting with their keyboards.

As for (creepless) Crowley, he was a competent wordsmith, but very much sucked as a human being. If you can find a copy, I suggest you read ALEISTER CROWLEY AND THE HIDDEN GOD to discover how he interacted with his students/religious disciples. It looks like there are several sites with the text available as a PDF. Documented and very well written, reading it carefully is a nifty disenchantment spell for those impressed by the ideas of AC.
_________________________
Only Man cares for Man; the Universe doesn't give a shit. -- Marcelo Ramos Motta

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#118888 - 03/11/19 12:06 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Dark Light 444]
Kori Houghton Offline
member


Registered: 11/23/15
Posts: 182
Loc: East Coast USA
 Originally Posted By: Dark Light 444
You’re defending a user...


I never mentioned the original poster, nor did I reply to his comment. No defending from me.

 Originally Posted By: Dark Light 444
...who's already on a three day ban? Awesome.


You're not difficult to impress.

 Originally Posted By: Dark Light 444
Don’t you look clever now that you’ve put me in my place.



Which seems to be the place wherefrom you made a non sequitur post.


Edited by Kori Houghton (03/11/19 12:06 PM)
Edit Reason: I used to get F for spelling, and nothing much has changed.
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Only Man cares for Man; the Universe doesn't give a shit. -- Marcelo Ramos Motta

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#118893 - 03/11/19 07:10 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Kori Houghton]
fiendish Offline
member


Registered: 02/27/16
Posts: 580
"Choosing" implies there's a free will. What if you were BORN a Satanist? Hm... Is there really free will, or what does it matter when you can't make things change? Is trying to change things caring about other people's business, or just caring about my own? That's the real question.
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#119528 - 06/30/19 07:44 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Thetruthisrare66]
Dark One Offline
pledge


Registered: 02/01/18
Posts: 84
Satanism is very compatible with Atheism/humanism, it's all left hand path and it ain't Christianity or whatever else. It can't ever really be 'atheistic' though seeing as you're encouraged to worship yourself as a god . You have at least one god right there you know for certain does exist even if everything else could be an illusion for all you know. We're not purposeless machines or automatons devoid of freewill either, no self respecting god would believe any such thing.
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#119536 - 06/30/19 07:56 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: fiendish]
Bellatrixx Offline
BANNED
lurker


Registered: 06/30/19
Posts: 1
You all fucking idiot


Flushed


Edited by Asmedious (08/19/19 08:06 PM)

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#119541 - 07/01/19 11:39 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Bellatrixx]
Dark Light 444 Offline
member


Registered: 08/02/17
Posts: 366
“You all fucking idiot”


Brilliant first post, replete with well articulated thoughts and immaculate grammar. Welcome to the club.
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K.I.S.S.

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#119547 - 07/02/19 01:51 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Dark Light 444]
CanisMachina42 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1557
Loc: Ca
 Quote:
“You all fucking idiot”


Brilliant first post, replete with well articulated thoughts and immaculate grammar. Welcome to the club.


Well, homie don't play that... and in certain dialects it's acceptable to use the singular in place of the plural. The same type of variation as ax or aks being an acceptable variation of ask. It just sounds like it's uneducated, urban, or from Jersey. Intolerant, that what you is.

That said...

May amazing devil powers pictures this new poster enjoying a sacramental spliff with I and I, The King of Kings. They like to go fight the Devil with iron shirts from what I gather playing GTA.

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#119577 - 07/07/19 03:27 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: fiendish]
EvilDjinn Offline
stranger


Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 41
 Originally Posted By: fiendish
"Choosing" implies there's a free will. What if you were BORN a Satanist? Hm... Is there really free will, or what does it matter when you can't make things change? Is trying to change things caring about other people's business, or just caring about my own? That's the real question.


What is it to be "born" a Satanist though? What qualities make the difference? Is it a "from birth" thing or the result of upbringing and experience?

And does the quality of being "born a Satanist" matter on its own?

I think that a person "born a Satanist" has a set of tools they either had or develop. But those tools only matter if you're doing something with them. Which is where Free Will comes to bear.


Choosing to identify as a Satanist is a life choice with a reason/story behind it which is probably what the OP was interested in.



Edited by EvilDjinn (07/07/19 03:39 PM)

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#119579 - 07/07/19 07:38 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: EvilDjinn]
Dark One Offline
pledge


Registered: 02/01/18
Posts: 84
I suppose you may want to be a little careful with the 'natural born Satanist' thing. Muslims for instance believe everyone is naturally born a Muslim with full monotheistic belief. Only society influences the child's tendency to accept full pure true monotheism as only Islam provides. Of course we find this really arrogant and annoying to say the least, laughable even. A newborn child is no more a Muslim or a Satanist than they are a member of the Postal Workers Union.
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#119580 - 07/07/19 09:36 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Dark One]
samowens84 Offline
active member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 660
 Originally Posted By: Dark One
I suppose you may want to be a little careful with the 'natural born Satanist' thing. Muslims for instance believe everyone is naturally born a Muslim with full monotheistic belief. Only society influences the child's tendency to accept full pure true monotheism as only Islam provides. Of course we find this really arrogant and annoying to say the least, laughable even. A newborn child is no more a Muslim or a Satanist than they are a member of the Postal Workers Union.



And still others say you were born an Atheist. Or lacking a god belief.

This makes the most sense. I've never seen a baby born greeting the world with a "praise allah" or "hail satan" or whatever.

Mostly they cry out for mother's milk, love and kindness.

It's adults who usually get shit twisted.

I sense that kids are born with a clean slate, and adults are just little bitches about it and in history let's say "misery loves company."

Not a manifestation so much as an observation.

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#119582 - 07/08/19 04:05 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: samowens84]
Dark One Offline
pledge


Registered: 02/01/18
Posts: 84
 Originally Posted By: samowens84


And still others say you were born an atheist. Or lacking a god belief.


You're supposed to develop mentally as you get older though not retain the same state of mind you had when you were a baby. You may as well still shit in your own pants and not know how to use a toilet than be an Atheist. Not all religions have anything to do with a belief in a God you know we really need to get away from that, see Buddhism and Taoism as examples.



 Originally Posted By: samowens84
I sense that kids are born with a clean slate


Muslims believe that as well, a clean state of pure monotheism that comes naturally to all humans who are corrupted by the world. They're not really anything yet, Atheism included. Atheism still counts as a thing, it's a life philosophy. Not a great one tbh even if I would agree with the lack of evidence for miracles or 'divinely revealed' books part. Bronze Age Jews didn't have any special magical powers.

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#119583 - 07/08/19 05:25 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Dark One]
CanisMachina42 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1557
Loc: Ca
The term Atheist is a muddled mess of vacuous meaning.

Atheism also seems lacking in underscoring the wired resistance to mystical thinking. Atheist is fine, but Sagan and Hitchins only go so far.

The next step is Antitheism. Often conflated with "hatred of god". It more aptly means "anti-abstraction". Anti using baseless ideas as a meaningful method of operation. The faith that moves others is an empty concept, and its practicality is null and void.

This is why just "i dont believe in god" is incomplete to me.

And those who say they are their own gods, aren't.

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#119584 - 07/08/19 06:37 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: CanisMachina42]
Dark One Offline
pledge


Registered: 02/01/18
Posts: 84
 Originally Posted By: CanisMachina42


And those who say they are their own gods, aren't.



There's a legitimate ancient tradition of humans being their own gods or 'part of the divine' however that is to be perceived. Quoted from Wikipedia, not an ideal source but you get the gist of the idea.


'In ancient and medieval era texts of Hinduism, the human body is described as a temple, and deities are described to be parts residing within it,while the Brahman (Absolute Reality, God) is described to be the same, or of similar nature, as the Atman (self, soul), which Hindus believe is eternal and within every living being. Deities in Hinduism are as diverse as its traditions, and a Hindu can choose to be polytheistic, pantheistic, monotheistic, monistic, agnostic, atheistic, or humanist.

Absolute Reality or God can just be associated with the universe or everything there is as a whole. Not something you necessarily need to have faith in you know it's real enough. You can also see there's a lot of compatibility there including agnosticism, Atheism and humanism. So Hinduism is a quite a nice template/inspiration for Satanism including 'being your own god'. Being your own god is a core belief of Satanism, not believing this would be like a Christian who doesn't believe in Jesus or a Muslim who doesn't believe Mohammed was a prophet of Allah.

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#119585 - 07/08/19 09:53 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: CanisMachina42]
samowens84 Offline
active member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 660
 Originally Posted By: CanisMachina42
The term Atheist is a muddled mess of vacuous meaning.

Atheism also seems lacking in underscoring the wired resistance to mystical thinking. Atheist is fine, but Sagan and Hitchins only go so far.

The next step is Antitheism. Often conflated with "hatred of god". It more aptly means "anti-abstraction". Anti using baseless ideas as a meaningful method of operation. The faith that moves others is an empty concept, and its practicality is null and void.

This is why just "i dont believe in god" is incomplete to me.

And those who say they are their own gods, aren't.



In order to understand Atheism, like anything else, requires understanding it's appeal, not just what it lacks.

To say that it's "incomplete" just isn't enough of a defense for a theist. That Atheism has had cultural appeal suggests it appeals to something purely human.

Many atheists do gain a lot of support not by suggesting that you can fuck anything that moves or eat anything you want. That's what Satanists do, but by appealing to human dignity and the dehumanizing affects of the world's religions.

I suspect that many "atheists" are a lot like closet Christians living what some would suggest to be "traditional Christian" lives. Christians waste their time trying to explain to them how they're not all that different, or that the Atheist lacks in something spiritually.


What really stings I suspect is that the Atheist represents what many Christians lack, as much as Christians or other theists-so as to be more inclusive- represent the spirituality that atheists sometimes lack.

Atheists are often alienated by traditional religions and honor their conscience and choose to stand up for what they feel is right, which is often what most religions discourage.

In some ways, "Atheism" in some forms, not to make to broad a statement, the broken heart of honest hearts with good wills.

A man named Cliff Walker who used to run a web site named "Positiveatheism.org" observed a problem in atheistic circles where people would seem to shed the pretense of religion but not unlearn the toxic ways of thinking that often accompany religious institutions.

For example, even in "Satanism" that champions "free thinking" are people who worry if they're not "satanic" or "progressive" enough. These labels have no meaning if they're not owned by you and linked to helping you reconnect with your own humanity rather than gaining the approval of faceless or nameless institutions.

Here is something I've learned in my journey. There is no such thing as a person who is immune to carnal or materialistic ways of thinking, no matter how many titles or guru titles a person has, or how revered that person is.

They may be holy, but there is no reason for me to assume that a person is being holy when they're interacting with me. First question I ask when someone "great" interacts with me is what do I have access to or have that they assume is valuable to them.

Business always seems to be the nature of things, which is why I'm never overwhelmed or flattered by anyone's attention, until shared history is made, and there is actually something to miss.

If someone doesn't give you the time of day, and then suddenly makes a personal phone call, it can spare a person a lot of hurt feelings to first ask yourself what do you have that they want, rather than to assume that their attention proves your worth in some way. First you should already know your worth is fucking awesome no matter who is texting you or not, and then everyone is your equal on your turf.

And so this brings me to my next point. What does being your own god mean?

It's not about being above influence, or being original, or being different or special. It's being strong enough to act in your own interest. Knowing what's good for you and doing it. Sometimes even using the above said influences to one's advantage.

Here is a basic principle. If a person flatters you, it's usually because you have leverage, not because you're "great." What you choose to use that leverage for is what makes one great.

It doesn't matter what station you have in life, it's usually not wise to let someone overwhelm you with rank, wealth and flattery. If someone with rank and wealth chooses to flatter you, it's because you have something they don't and want something from you, otherwise they would be content to not bother with you.

Assume every interaction first as a business relationship until it proves to be something more.

To be your own god as I see it is about being true to my conscience and doing what's right and general in a manner that's also inclusive and beneficial to myself.


I have to be healthy in order to be good to people I care about, and so being good to me, even if I'm not happy with me, is an act of love for others.

I guess in a way that's like saying you are God, but you're not God. A guardianship of godhood requires responsibility.

I think the spiritual power of Atheism is that it looked at all the world's religions and openly called them out for being morally bankrupt.

When the theist refused to acknowledge this and instead pointed to the spiritual aspect the Atheist lacked is that deep down the theist knew the Atheist was right.

And that was some painful shit to acknowledge.

No wonder they'd rather make the Atheist the problem!


Edited by samowens84 (07/08/19 10:06 AM)

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#119607 - 07/14/19 06:33 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Bellatrixx]
fiendish Offline
member


Registered: 02/27/16
Posts: 580
You have posted 4 words. When you have posted four hundred words, come back again and call me an idiot. I will still be here. Will you?
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#119608 - 07/14/19 06:45 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Dark Light 444]
fiendish Offline
member


Registered: 02/27/16
Posts: 580
You admire grammar... and spelling? You need some updating. The year is 2019, you may get out of your cocoon.
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#119618 - 07/15/19 12:35 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: fiendish]
Dark Light 444 Offline
member


Registered: 08/02/17
Posts: 366
 Originally Posted By: fiendish
You admire grammar... and spelling? You need some updating. The year is 2019, you may get out of your cocoon.


LOL, you’re on the Internet, fool; as if 2019 is the time where bad grammar and illiterate ignorance is somehow the new paradigm.

Form a coherent thought for once. Even people with English as a secondary language can do this just fine.

Try again.
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#119620 - 07/17/19 01:40 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Thetruthisrare66]
Dimitri Offline
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Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3385
Why the choice?
Perhaps due to seclusion and my general disdain for most people during my teens.
Family raised me quite strictly. Both parents had been baptized but my father more or less renounced it. Due to him did I develop a keen interest in science and more specifically physics, biology and ecology. We never discussed relgion in our home nor were we (me and my siblings) baptized. We had free choice.

Went through a few phases where I dabbled into different subcultures. Had an interest in books and even read the bible before turning my attention to Wicca (I was about 15 years).
Held up that shtick for not too long. Got kicked out of a coven or two and various dedicated websites for repeatedly breaking "magical" rules and having a disdain for most members. Got a first taste with Satanism when still being "wicce" due to connections with NS websites where I wrote a pamphlet and a few essays. Got introduced to ONA by someone but gave no direct attention.

Some time later I got introduced to The Satanic Bible when someone pointed out I had more in common with Satanism than "wicca". Read the book, got into contact with the ONA guy for some material and have been an adherent since (Of Satanism and the LHP in general). About a year later I signed up with the now defunct "Modern Church of Satan" and a few months later ended up here.

The rest is history, there are quite a few posts in the archives from my hand which makes me facepalm and eager to kick my earlier younger self in the face.

That's the 12 years in short. ;\)


Edited by Dimitri (07/17/19 01:43 AM)
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#119621 - 07/17/19 05:59 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Dimitri]
samowens84 Offline
active member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 660
 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
Why the choice?
Perhaps due to seclusion and my general disdain for most people during my teens.
Family raised me quite strictly. Both parents had been baptized but my father more or less renounced it. Due to him did I develop a keen interest in science and more specifically physics, biology and ecology. We never discussed relgion in our home nor were we (me and my siblings) baptized. We had free choice.

Went through a few phases where I dabbled into different subcultures. Had an interest in books and even read the bible before turning my attention to Wicca (I was about 15 years).
Held up that shtick for not too long. Got kicked out of a coven or two and various dedicated websites for repeatedly breaking "magical" rules and having a disdain for most members. Got a first taste with Satanism when still being "wicce" due to connections with NS websites where I wrote a pamphlet and a few essays. Got introduced to ONA by someone but gave no direct attention.

Some time later I got introduced to The Satanic Bible when someone pointed out I had more in common with Satanism than "wicca". Read the book, got into contact with the ONA guy for some material and have been an adherent since (Of Satanism and the LHP in general). About a year later I signed up with the now defunct "Modern Church of Satan" and a few months later ended up here.

The rest is history, there are quite a few posts in the archives from my hand which makes me facepalm and eager to kick my earlier younger self in the face.

That's the 12 years in short. ;\)


That reminds me that I once had a girlfriend in high school. She caught me in a period of life when I was withdrawing from everyone. From "good" people and "bad" people.

When she broke up with me one day I said "whatever." She naturally got upset. Didn't think that I treated our relationship with proper respect or sacredness or something. She also was "Wicca," but claimed that she had qualms about her religion. I also had qualms, but not so much with religion but with people in general. I didn't just say whatever to her but to pretty much everything back then. Guy told me I wasn't good enough for his band. I told him whatever. I think I just wanted to grow on my terms and find the truth about human nature, and not get lost in community or magical mumbo jumbo from people who had "answers."

I had Satanism come up a bunch of times down there. I told him I didn't want Satanism or any religion and just wanted to do what I want. He was like "Satanism" is about that too. I thought to myself, "why do I need Satanism for doing what I was already doing?"

Eventually I discovered the usefulness of some of the doctrines and a select few individuals I had in common.

She was like at the time "if you're not passionate about me then you might be gay." I thought to myself "you misunderstand me." I didn't want anyone. Partner or anything else. I wanted to regain who I was before as a whole human being, not to be loved or protected by a community or partner. In this life time I had a taste of my potential when I was about 8 or nine years old, and I wanted that back.

I don't object to having a partner or a select community or whatever, but not before I had myself back. Otherwise, I was just making myself a target by being vulnerable.

If one acts vulnerable and asks for protection one invites abuse. The only place of safety is in myself first.

So as a teenager I said no to magic, to religion, to communities, to partners, to friends, to everything that disguised human nature for how it was being expressed during those years.

If I could go back to that stage and met my girlfriend again and we actually had a conversation, I would have said wicca wasn't her problem. Her problem was her using communities partners and magic like drugs to avoid the hard truth: that no one gave a shit about her or her needs unless she did that for herself first.

And yet I'm also a romantic. But here is the fun insight I learned. Love can't exist without self-respect. And self respect is like sight. Because it is sight. It's the willingness to see to take responsibility for loving properly. And there's no such thing as halfway self respect. And this is what balance looks like. If this quality isn't allowed, then everyone is fucked.

If you are a priestess of the earth then you have to be able to so no and confront imbalance with 100% purity, or else you've disgraced your responsibilities to the earth.

Bottom line.

Self-respect means valuing oneself over the illusion of company.

She wasn't willing to make that personal sacrifice or face that or the potential consequences of "abandonment."

I always was. I felt it might drive away some company in the beginning, but then the real would come back. There are always people meant for me I've always felt, and by saying no to those who don't deserve my company I could have my dignity, self respect, and reliable loving company who I don't have to wonder about or have any borderline personality problems with because they passed the self-respect barriers I have, and so I don't have to wonder about them.

That's what emotional security looks like. Being secure or insecure isn't a "quality" that some are blessed with and some lack. It's a quality that some work for and some don't.

Self respect is a quality and strength one must work for through experience. Saying no to what's false brings pure truth in that personal strength in me takes responsibility for. Who you are will attract something. Saying no to lies doesn't mean you'll be left with nothing. Who you are will attract something. Always.

Does one have the balls to face it and the confidence to overcome it. The answer to that question became yes for me once I realized that it was the only way forward to a good life.

All I can count on to bring results isn't a partner or a community. It's wit wisdom and desire. If I don't have that, ironically, I don't deserve a reliable partner or a community, because I would have nothing to offer either without who I am at full strength.

I found if I gave up who I am, my sense, strength or wisdom for those things, then I gave up what a quality partner or community would value in the first place.

And so, my personal test is if a partner or a community asked me to give up my identity for their acceptance, then I knew they weren't my tribe and I don't want them. Because people I belong with wouldn't need me to give up any aspect of myself to be accepted. Acceptance would just be something that "made sense."

Gravity has in my experience tended to ensure that "fear of abandonment" is a bullshit fear. It's not a choice of being alone or having a tribe for me. It's a choice between choosing strength and dignity or being weak and dirty. In my travels I discovered it isn't strength and standing up for myself that might make a person leave.

Weakness is.

And I say this with the intention that whoever may need to hear this that this be helpful, not hurtul. And if that person is willing to accept what truths in this post that they need to hear, may they be warmed with the love and grace of the universe to internalize these truths from a safe and loving place.


Edited by samowens84 (07/17/19 06:49 AM)

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#119626 - 07/18/19 11:06 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Dimitri]
Czereda Offline
senior member


Registered: 03/14/11
Posts: 2118
Loc: Poland
 Originally Posted By: Dimitri

The rest is history, there are quite a few posts in the archives from my hand which makes me facepalm and eager to kick my earlier younger self in the face.


Don't you find them amusing? I mean those old posts of yours? One day, some time ago, I felt a pang of nostalgia and dug out my old turds on original SIN website. I found some old debates on Wayback Machine. I was laughing so much that I nearly cried.
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Anna Czereda
Crazy Cat Lady

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#119632 - 07/18/19 06:40 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Dark Light 444]
fiendish Offline
member


Registered: 02/27/16
Posts: 580
Everything you say is so stupid, I can't even answer to you. I do you a favor by answering to your faulty gibberish. You are an ape with the ability to strike keys on a keyboard. And you're doing very well! Keep up with the good work.
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Medulla oblongata

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#119646 - 07/20/19 08:36 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: fiendish]
Dark Light 444 Offline
member


Registered: 08/02/17
Posts: 366
Still waiting for coherency from you.
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K.I.S.S.

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#119651 - 07/21/19 10:16 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Dark Light 444]
CanisMachina42 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1557
Loc: Ca
Perhaps it is a language barrier thing?
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#119658 - 07/22/19 10:45 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Czereda]
XiaoGui17 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1341
Loc: Austin, TX
 Originally Posted By: Czereda
 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
The rest is history, there are quite a few posts in the archives from my hand which makes me facepalm and eager to kick my earlier younger self in the face.
Don't you find them amusing? I mean those old posts of yours? One day, some time ago, I felt a pang of nostalgia and dug out my old turds on original SIN website. I found some old debates on Wayback Machine. I was laughing so much that I nearly cried.
Some day, I'll be so notorious that there'll be a Kiwi Farms thread archiving my every cringe-post: the trivial flamewars, the earnest naďveté, the insufferable pedantry, the ludicrous errors, and the bizarre smut.

It'll be glorious. Just y'all wait.
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Wir halten uns an Regeln, Wenn man uns regeln lässt

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#119662 - 07/23/19 02:30 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Czereda]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3385
 Originally Posted By: Czereda
 Originally Posted By: Dimitri

The rest is history, there are quite a few posts in the archives from my hand which makes me facepalm and eager to kick my earlier younger self in the face.


Don't you find them amusing? I mean those old posts of yours? One day, some time ago, I felt a pang of nostalgia and dug out my old turds on original SIN website. I found some old debates on Wayback Machine. I was laughing so much that I nearly cried.


Everyone does so.
The laughing part.
Where it concerns you.
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#119665 - 07/23/19 08:44 AM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Dimitri]
Czereda Offline
senior member


Registered: 03/14/11
Posts: 2118
Loc: Poland
Thank you, dear.

I like you too.

You old musty grumpy cat.



Edited by Czereda (07/23/19 09:06 AM)
_________________________
Anna Czereda
Crazy Cat Lady

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#119711 - 08/02/19 04:06 PM Re: Why did you become a Satanist? (Atheistic) [Re: Czereda]
Bacchus Offline
pledge


Registered: 09/08/16
Posts: 61
I was psychologically traumatized by Judeo-Christian teachings, scriptures and society since childhood and came to a conclusion I'm not a part of that. Than I stumbled on the authors like Nietzsche, Crowley and LaVey. It liberated my mind.
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