Page 1 of 2 12>
Topic Options
#120789 - 11/13/19 12:25 PM Instincts always have a constructive expression
samowens84 Offline
active member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 660
Even "people pleasing."

When in the dark proper instincts associated with yin and yang expressions to remain free often take perverse expression.

Integrity in the masculine/yang energy had the perverse chameleon hiding expression to compensate when it lacked a yin counterpart to balance the energy in order to restore it to fill dignity.

The yin expression that seeks balance and to build a home without the yang wisdom of integrity had compensated by people pleasing.

Some women think the were looking for a man to balance out that energy, but I don't think so. At least not as an end game. Or not from a place of need.

As long as masculine wisdom was missing within the woman, any man seeking would only be based on needing the wisdom that objectified the man who had embodied it.

It's not a moral failing. It was necessary to avoid falling off a cliff.

When I worked as a cleaning person I was able to be of service and restore karmic balance within myself without giving myself away because within myself I was in home building mode with feminine energy and wisdom in balance with my masculine energy.

And so restoration was done with clarity provided by personal integrity.

The objective was to restore myself with the earth in amends to the earth. And when that amends was made, it was self evident.

Because those who attempt to use karmic imbalance as a selfish exploitative motive instead of balancing their home and family lack karmic balance within themselves that you don't have a responsibility too.

Once my balance was restored my integrity and dignity shifted away from yin home building wisdom into home protective yang wisdom that preserves that which you built in yourself.

Their character defects became more clear as a signal for when I was free to walk away from a destructive potentially codependent relationship.

That clarity wasn't about judging.

It was just about understanding where my responsibility ended in their world and theirs began.

Natural balance.

To integrate that masculine wisdom is necessary to escape karmic loops and to remain permanently free and constructive.


Edited by samowens84 (11/13/19 12:25 PM)

Top
#120791 - 11/13/19 04:34 PM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: samowens84]
samowens84 Offline
active member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 660
A human being who refuses to surrender their humanity no matter what the world throws at you is what defines a person who has no slave mentality.

A human being who would sell their humanity to a higher power for financial gain is what defines a slave mentality.

The God spark starts at the bottom of a person's consciousness. It isn't always easy to discern someone who has a slave mentality versus someone liberated from it.

A free person is strong enough to determine all available choices and choose the option that preserves their humanity at all costs and has the courage to follow through.

It's the knowledge that there is never a good reason to harm innocent people.

But also that given what was a fucked up world, how to make that choice isn't always clear to someone who was an outside observer, and so personal responsibility for making ones ethical choices at the expense of outside affirmations or recognition was sometimes necessary.

I've had only rare occasions when I was in the dark where someone took the time to understand me and my actions and recognized me as a good person.

They were saving graces.

Sometimes even their low self-esteem because of their weariness caused them to lose sight of their worth, not knowing in exact terms that they had to give in at those moments because it was my job to carry through my work solo. At times I had deliberately discouraged them and alienated them because my work required me to have an incredibly strong will and I resolved that if I didn't make it through then I didn't deserve love or a pat on the back. If I had failed then I would have left those closest to me in the dark.

For a moment their relief at me stopping would have given temporary love and affection before their resentment would have overwhelmed them.

It's not for me to judge who thinks like a slave, versus who doesn't.

There were a lot of roles where their success depended on me to do the right thing.

If it looked like I judged you, it's likely part of the reason is because you had a hard time forgiving yourself and tried to make me feel like I couldn't either and I was just keeping you from dragging me down while having compassion for behavior you seemed to have little control over because your well being depended on me being strong and what you had pulled for wasn't in anyone's best interest.

Another reason is that it was more important to get others I love and care about to safety and strength then to be liked or recognized.

I'd rather you had hated me and live in a mansion than love me and live in the dirt.


Edited by samowens84 (11/13/19 04:39 PM)

Top
#120793 - 11/13/19 09:10 PM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: samowens84]
CanisMachina42 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1556
Loc: Ca
 Quote:
*** You are ignoring this user ***
Toggle the display of this post


So this is not conflict adverse because it's not in response to being flamed.

And that is a lot better, XG.

Though I will say the title sounds like the justifications of a snitch-a-bitch rat.

_________________________
32.6
-117.1
Sea level
11:56 PM July, 1st 2019
Wrote Signature

Top
#120799 - 11/14/19 06:23 PM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: CanisMachina42]
XiaoGui17 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1341
Loc: Austin, TX
Lol.

But hey, if we're having obscure rants to ourselves in this thread, I'll have a go.

People really seriously need to stop calling character witnesses.

I'm not Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. I don't care about character. Character witnesses are nothing but a huge waste of everyone's time.

Compurgation was abolished a loooong time ago.

I've never based a decision on a character witness's testimony, ever. Half the people parading in a queue of character witnesses are making a Hail-Mary pass when there's a damning bulk of evidence against them. The other half won their case hours ago and they're painting the lily. Either way, I've already written a decision, and I'm just sitting here doodling on my legal pad waiting for the windbag to rest his/her case (read: shut up) so I can enter it.

Holy hell, I hate character witnesses.
_________________________
Wir halten uns an Regeln, Wenn man uns regeln lässt

Top
#120800 - 11/15/19 12:24 PM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: XiaoGui17]
CanisMachina42 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1556
Loc: Ca
 Quote:

I'm not Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. I don't care about character. Character witnesses are nothing but a huge waste of everyone's time.


If the TV and the Law and Order has taught me anything legitimate; the psychology of a character witness IS a hail mary pass to exonerate a fucked cause with letters of recommendation.

From what I have seen the person who needs the character witness is always the 2nd person interviewed by Ice T, the one who inserts themselves as some kind of martyr. The types that in real life feed off of other people validating their righteousness, usually to mask the 'psychic vampire' and/or unsavory motivation.
_________________________
32.6
-117.1
Sea level
11:56 PM July, 1st 2019
Wrote Signature

Top
#120803 - 11/15/19 08:19 PM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: CanisMachina42]
XiaoGui17 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1341
Loc: Austin, TX
 Originally Posted By: CanisMachina42
If the TV and the Law and Order has taught me anything legitimate; the psychology of a character witness IS a hail mary pass to exonerate a fucked cause with letters of recommendation.

From what I have seen the person who needs the character witness is always the 2nd person interviewed by Ice T, the one who inserts themselves as some kind of martyr. The types that in real life feed off of other people validating their righteousness, usually to mask the 'psychic vampire' and/or unsavory motivation.
Apples and oranges.

Law & Order is dealing with criminal cases, and criminal cases mean juries, and juries are more easily swayed by emotional appeals. That's the drama at the heart of the show—this rat bastard did dastardly things, but his lawyer sure knows how to play a jury like a fiddle!

Bench trials are different. I don't just get to announce what my ruling is based on a gut feeling; I have to justify it. I have to cite which statute applies, and cite a precedent and/or rule interpreting that statute, and explain why the precedent is applicable, and state what the burden is, on whom the it rests (and why), and with whom fault lies (and why).

Nor I am dealing with the big, mean, amorphous "state" looming over the poor little picked-on defendant. I'm typically dealing with one party versus another party, both of whom get to make their case. "Poor, poor pitiful me" isn't going to fly as much when there's someone else who's going to have to pay for someone's poor, poor pitiful ass, and the prospective payor might also have something to say on the matter.

And while Law & Order is a fairly realistic depiction of the legal process behind high-profile cases (if not entirely remotely an accurate depiction of the events that lead to such cases), it's atypical in the day-to-day grind of criminal courts.

The average criminal is not some sociopathic genius who can afford a top-dollar attorney to really spin his tearjerker story to the jury. The typical criminal is repulsively pathetic, indigent, and dumber than a box of rocks.

The typical criminal will flap his gums the second he's Mirandized, confessing to shit the cops didn't even know about and ratting other people out for no reward because it's so durned unfair that he got caught and they didn't. The typical criminal thinks being "helpful" like this to detectives will lead to leniency (Hint: Cops do not have authority to offer plea deals. Prosecutors do. Cops will imply all sorts of nice shit to get you to confess. They. Are. Lying. They are making promises they do not have the power to deliver on.)

The typical criminal will request a court-appointed attorney, get one, and then not call the attorney's number because apparently his public defender is fucking psychic and knows what happened in his case without talking to his client. The typical criminal, when he doesn't like his public defender telling him what he doesn't want to hear (e.g. "she pushed my buttons" isn't a winning strategy, bubba), will turn to the fucking prosecutor and request a second opinion. Then, he will "fire" his public defender and demand a free replacement and say he's gonna hire his own and miss his next court date and get picked up for failure to appear.

In short, you're far more likely to see this than anything on Law & Order.
_________________________
Wir halten uns an Regeln, Wenn man uns regeln lässt

Top
#120804 - 11/15/19 08:24 PM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: XiaoGui17]
XiaoGui17 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1341
Loc: Austin, TX
A Postscript

It's also a really, really, really bad idea to bring up the defendant's character in a real criminal case in the US, ever.

Why? Because character is not at issue unless the defendant opens that door. So the second some genius brings in his momma and his pastor to tell everyone, "He's a good boy, he dindu nuffin', he fell in with a bad crowd, he's turnin' his life around" &c, he's leaving the door wide open for the prosecutor to parade in every disgruntled former boss and ex-girlfriend and cousin he didn't give a ride to the airport, so they can all rant about what a low-down, dirty son-of-a-gun he is.
_________________________
Wir halten uns an Regeln, Wenn man uns regeln lässt

Top
#120808 - 11/17/19 03:52 PM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: XiaoGui17]
aeon6 Offline
member


Registered: 04/16/18
Posts: 278
Loc: København, Denmark
If you were ever a defendant in a serious case, would you prefer a trial by jury or judge?
I cannot answer it for myself unless in that predicament. That seems to be a question that would split you between Hell-1 and Hell-2 because the sentence is inevitable. But relying on the wisdom of daft commonfolk should warn against juries, and if the judge is equally daft and paid to be so, you become a posterchild for american injustice.

Top
#120811 - 11/18/19 07:56 PM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: aeon6]
samowens84 Offline
active member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 660
I find it deeply unattractive when I sense a woman has to have a partner in order to feel ok with themselves.

In my experience everyone craves love and companionship, but it becomes toxic when either the identity of mother or partner can become more important than actually doing those things.

Like I find I feel I couldn't trust a woman who couldn't stand up and risk someone leaving.

If not being alone is a bigger priority than your moral compass then you're just acting like a rubber band who lost their moral center.

Especially when you're capable of doing better and choosing not too.

From my perspective it just looks like looking for sympathy.

Or maybe it's looking for approval.

Like if you don't like yourself it seems like framing every relationship around your self esteem.

Like trying to get a guy to act out your disgust for your own decisions you yourself aren't cool with. And then being with another man and potentially having a secret family to boost your self esteem to insulate you from feeling inferior to your other partner, and then having a female lover to bitch about guys with and feel love to temper the feelings of self disgust.

All the while avoiding any hard decisions or Taking responsibility for your life.

This isn't manifesting anything, but a dynamic that's only about avoidance and entitlement that only seeks to fulfill your own needs and not care about anyone else's.

Not a manifestation.

Just a dynamic you might want to avoid.

It's a transparent substitution for good judgement.


Edited by samowens84 (11/18/19 08:17 PM)

Top
#120812 - 11/18/19 08:15 PM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: aeon6]
XiaoGui17 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1341
Loc: Austin, TX
 Originally Posted By: aeon6
If you were ever a defendant in a serious case, would you prefer a trial by jury or judge?
Jury. Definitely jury.

Because at least I get some say in picking the jury.
Because juries can nullify.
Because each juror is a shot at acquittal.
Because jurors don't have the same decision-making fatigue as the judge.

The judge is still there and still does what the judge needs to do. I don't need the judge to be fact-finder.

And then, there's the simple practicality that the prosecutor really doesn't want to have to deal with the pain-in-the-ass of a full-on jury trial. When their Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement is all the bells and whistles of a jury trial, offering a much sweeter plea deal starts to look like a much more attractive proposition.
_________________________
Wir halten uns an Regeln, Wenn man uns regeln lässt

Top
#120813 - 11/19/19 04:52 AM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: samowens84]
samowens84 Offline
active member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 660
A relationship isn't the problem. But it can either be a way to challenge you to be a better person and more ethical or it can be a way to hide from a lack of self worth that can drag you down to being less ethical if your hiding from yourself.

Yesterday doesn't define you, and tomorrow hasn't necessarily happened yet.

You can challenge those you love to do better, or you can sink on a collective ship.

If no one feels responsible to say something uncomfortable, then everyone would find themselves on a comfortable sinking Titanic.

It happens when a captain tried to hide who they are and try to be a passenger and complain with the others when no one took your place to pilot your ship.

Top
#120816 - 11/19/19 02:36 PM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: samowens84]
Dark Light 444 Offline
member


Registered: 08/02/17
Posts: 365
In Jesus’ name, amen.
_________________________
K.I.S.S.

Top
#120819 - 11/20/19 12:11 AM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: Dark Light 444]
CanisMachina42 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1556
Loc: Ca
Lol. I have found It's actually funnier to just make up what people are responding to.

 At this point I am assuming everything is an, "Oh captain, my captain" being loudly proclaimed by Skipper McPlatitude holding out vainglorious hope that their words are accomplishing *something* that may help others. They too can catch this wave and/or pink cloud they are apparently riding upon.

A caricature of a 10 years sober fixture on the local AA circuit, glowing with their god's infection, loaded with caffeine, nicotine, codependence, and the vices of abstract validation and nondescript warm and fuzzies.

Sometimes it takes longer to turn to gray.
_________________________
32.6
-117.1
Sea level
11:56 PM July, 1st 2019
Wrote Signature

Top
#120820 - 11/20/19 07:51 AM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: CanisMachina42]
samowens84 Offline
active member


Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 660
Narcissism as an attitude has a contempt from me only when it's pathological. It makes too much of the opinions of others, or gives too much weight to the opinions of others.

While yes, opinion and perception do play a part in one's well being, the misunderstanding is that the narcissist seems to believe consciously or unconsciously that people consciously choose the opinions
they have of you, when most often people choose the most convenient opinion of others that makes them more comfortable.

As I understand it "perception" is chiefly shaped at reducing psychological tension and promoting their sense of well being.

The perception of an authority figure might create anxiety if you sense their opinion might shift against you. But if you don't find a way to be productive on your own terms you won't last anyway.

Psychologically speaking internal motivation creates more sustainable action than outwardly motivated behavior. If you believe in the opinion of others as the means to make a comfortable living, then entropy will shift you into a state of nothingness.

And ironically, the opinion of others would shift to viewing the narcissist as nothing, just because that tends to be the most convenient psychological perspective for them. Not because that reflects the genuine worth of someone suffering from narcissism.

If you want to shift the opinion in your favor, then understand the nature of how tension and release is the true nature of the opinions of others, and that while where that tension may rest, release or otherwise, does reflect on you, but only in terms of movement.

If someone has a negative opinion and it "hurts" it isn't because what they said was true, it's because you're not where you want to be in life.

Their opinion or scorn is only relative to them being unhappy with where they are. If you mirror that the only thing you both know you have in common is that you're not where you want to be. But the pressures and tensions causing those mindsets may have dramatically different influences on both of your behavior.

Race matters if only the pressures of different races and the shape of pain and entropy is different.

Different directions of flow that only strength, and genuine responsibility is capable of making better.

White women sometimes have cared more about being liked and accepted than taking genuine responsibility to make things better, and that only aligned with the predatory nature in minority communities that didn't supply genuine respect.

You'll only help by refusing to harm yourself or those you love, and only then you prove yourself strong enough to be worth learning from, rather than just a sheep to be exploited.

And yes I've seen this behavior from Lebonon women too, so don't get smug.


White women already made that mistake and so played it small so you could learn before you fucked yourself in the same way, while lifting themselves up in the process.

White women are clever.

You only believed that men were sheep to be exploited because it was convenient to believe that and a sense of personal benefit that came with it.

You believed that white women were weak that needed your help and refused to believe otherwise because it was convenient to believe that because it affirmed views of personal benefit you already had.

Your sense of what makes you comfortable blinded you. Even when people care about you.

You taught me that heterosexual relationships are essential to ethical discernment and responsibility. White women knew this too, and so that's why they trust me more than you. It's a reliable entropic force.

I've learned from you, but are you capable of doing the same.

First observe that much of what you hold dear as a "sacred" opinion might be thoughtless entropy. And then you'll have strength and free will that you may not have experienced before, and then you'll be able to recognize that tendency in others and you won't be so naive and you'll be able to influence while resisting the influence of others.



Love and genuine responsibility is impossible without this skill.

I was raised being told how white women were a sinking ship and that I needed to save myself.

I said fuck you and chose to sink with white women rather than save myself.

That forced us both to safety.

That's the kind of loyalty that earns my respect.

I've seen too many others try and jump their own ship not understanding this about me.

A captain goes down or makes it to shore with his or her ship.

I'm a captain.

If this isn't your level of commitment to your people then you're not a captain yet, and haven't earned that kind of respect.


Edited by samowens84 (11/20/19 08:25 AM)

Top
#120821 - 11/20/19 09:50 AM Re: Instincts always have a constructive expression [Re: samowens84]
Dark Light 444 Offline
member


Registered: 08/02/17
Posts: 365
So, you’re the savior of Lebanon women now? 😏
_________________________
K.I.S.S.

Top
Page 1 of 2 12>


Moderator:  TV is God, fakepropht, SkaffenAmtiskaw, Woland, Asmedious, Fist 
Hop to:

Generated in 0.021 seconds of which 0.001 seconds were spent on 29 queries. Zlib compression disabled.