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#121330 - 01/23/20 10:32 AM Poetry insight
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
Sylvia Plath wrote two meta commentaries on her view of poetry and about her view on being a woman that stood out to me.

In her Journal she wrote that her vision of poetry is the relationship between her own private story and the story of the world are related. Some literary theorists seemed to argue that the individual artist was an illusion, but for me the most satisfying poetry I've written always included my story in relationship to the world around me.

Ethically speaking for me I've felt in order for me to do right by others my humanity has to matter as much as others. That my suffering had to matter as much as the suffering of others. That my joy and success must be embraced as much as struggle.

That gratitude, love and appreciation is as much a worthy subject of poetry as pain and suffering.

The story of one person is directly relevant to humanity as a whole because one human story is easily recognized as human, and relatable to each human as human.

To put it simply, one million people represent one million stories.

Spread thin each story might lose its meaning.

But one human has the potential give a voice to a million humans by being honestly human.

This brings me to my next favorite quote.

I'm not honestly sure of the exact source, but it's relevant and if it only reflects my personal bias, so be it.




"A woman is not strictly feeling nor strictly thinking, but the potential of perfect harmony of thinking and feeling" translated into action. (sic)

To harmonize thought and feeling and harmony of self and world seems to me the responsibility of the poet.

And since it's easier for one person to retain their values than for a million, integrity is of vital moral importance to a genuine poet.

If a poet seems prone to being misunderstood, it usually means that was a poet in motion whose vision had not yet been realized.

That Sylvia Plath's work seemed to had been coopted by women who scapegoated Ted Hughes for Plath's death was an insult to Plath's work, and Sylvia's own agenda.

In the book "The Bell Jar," the main character asked her psychiatrist if she was responsible for her friend's death. Her psychiatrist responded strongly that only the woman who committed suicide was responsible.

Buddy himself asked her if she was responsible, and she answered that he had "nothing to do with us."

Their story was their story.

And yet Sylvia Plath was not naive about how her work would have affected her husband's life after her death.

Which might imply that she ruthlessly used those foolish enough to blame her husband as a means to an end that doesn't just include a mob mentality of women who were looking for someone to blame.

Her Journal expressed very precise concerns about the future, and that "great men" of world war two were just going to be used as a disguise to viel a fall of a civilization.

If one were to translate the yelling at Hughes, it was more likely a call to men to prevent the fall civilization. Men needed to resume their patriarchal role to protect women and family.

And that oppressing women is what defines a weak man.

Thus one can interpret that the mistreatment of women or otherwise was the selfish desire of a weak man to pretend to protect women while.

The repression of the divine feminine to reach potential was selfish. Men had given up being righteous and only cared about self preservation.

A perverse expression of homosexuality.

An assumption also seemed to develop that in order to love themselves men had to hate women.

But this isn't true. Every human being has equal part divine feminine and divine masculine.

To favor one aspect at the expense of the whole is self hatred.

Meaning if a man accepts himself as a whole person, then that man would uplift and liberate women as he would uplift and liberate himself.

The same would imply to some women as well.

To embrace the divine feminine that woman would also have to embrace their divine masculine, else that "hatred" of men would only be an extension of self-hatred.

(Not all homosexuality is self hatred or oppressive. Only when used as a means avoid ethical accountability.)

This implies that self-love is a moral choice, and that self-denial is a selfish abdication of responsibility, contrary to what might be assumed.

Men who kept women back to admire other men.

The implication implied that women had no voice unless men had a voice too, ethically speaking. Otherwise women were just fools made to feel good about screwing themselves over to make them easier to enslave, ultimately.

A womans strength is in being able to make a man invincible, and her being able to choose who is worthy of invincibility.

This is a women's path to salvation, in terms of Christ.

And that making babies is only secondary.

Why Paul was wrong.

Men and women have equal roles for accountability to each other.

Interdependent accountability ensures mutual invincibility.

As long as bitterness is outweighed by strength and self interest.

Bitterness offers nothing.

A strong spirit sees beyond resentment and chooses.




The movement of negativity having been to prevent complacency.

And so while some women may have argued that she was a victim of the patriarchy, a more accurate representation would imply that she was a fierce warrior who advocated reform to make men stronger, not weaker to strengthen family.

This is where harmonizing emotion and thinking into logical action is relevant.

The way Sylvia Plath's work was portrayed was the academic version of the stereotype of the "hysterical woman." Whose brilliant work only reflected, in the eyes of some critics, the mundane hysteria of an unhappy housewife.

And yet the subtlety of her poetry would have testified more to her character than critic's gave her credit.


She also said time and time again that she didnt want to just be a self absorbed poet and wanted to engage with life. And while some on the outside might view her behavior as inconsistent with that sentiment, it would reflect a more honest understanding of her poetry to use her tragedy as a means to engage with life, rather than morbidly reflect outside of it.

To recognize honestly when movement of self is necessary, and to honestly recognize when personal gratitude is appropriate, and to bring ones personal desire to ethically engage with others.

This is the moral imperative of the poet, as I understand it.

I've also heard some who thought art or poetry was unnecessary or "superflous" because all possible art was probably created to maximum potential, but that only reflects the limitation of a self-absorbed individual.

Mainly because that assumption implied that a poet's responsibility was to write super great original poetry.

If one human decides their humanity matters and refused to be ignored, then others are more likely too as well.


To decide you're human and to decide you matter without permission and to be strong enough to keep integrity is what makes a poet.

Courage defines a real poet.
Poetry keeps the collective accountable as human beings as people, but a poet only does that if they write as they experience life.

Courage, integrity and accountability defines a poet.

When a poet writes beautifully, it implies also that life is meant to be savored and enjoyed, and not merely endured, which creates greater resilience in life.

And my personal bias is that Sylvia's work is legendary because she chose to enjoy life to her fullest potential.

And living life to the fullest is not a selfish choice, but a moral one.


And in relation to her life specifically, my moral inclinations about her life are obvious.




Edited by samowens84 (01/23/20 11:15 AM)

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#121350 - 01/24/20 12:40 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: samowens84]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
For those so inclined I'll share my experience so that those going through something similar might decide if this insight based on my personal experience helps them or not.

At the end of my own personal Facebook debacle, I came face to face with what seemed to me Satan himself.

The fear I felt and the power I sensed when he entered made it clear to me.

I knew I needed to be strong to have presence of mind.

I said to him that it was my choice to do what I did and that I was responsible.

I said that I have a contract with God just like him and then projected a spiritual image of my path to prove it.

It wasn't about being more "powerful" than him. It was about being strong enough to do what I'm supposed to do.

Some friends of mine from another race got defensive when I confronted them on his wrong.

His response was that white people had history too.

I felt compassion, because my point wasn't to compare histories.

It was that excuse wouldn't fly if and when you meet Satan.

He's an emissary of God to see if you're strong enough to do the work you're meant for.

An excuse like "white people did it too" would imply weakness that could have consequences you don't want to have to consider. That response would imply that you believe you can't do it.

I'm not attracting any lessons to myself. I went through that.

I've only done what I can to show you can heal yourself, and I hope any excuse that would make you think you can't got burned away so you can see your own life saving strength.

I hope you forgive me for saying you couldn't.

That was about urgency so that you'd see the reality of your situation.

Fear can be a life saving motivation. A lesson I already learned and am only being clear to those willing to understand.

You thought you made a "mistake" by messing with a "jinn" as you saw it.

My perspective is you didnt have a choice.

That kind of door only opens one way and you're still alive.

I hope that's encouraging.

Understand love, understand your relationship with God. God is love.

Satan is only a servant. He serves God. You also serve God, not Satan.

If you serve God, Satan serves you as you serve God.

Stay with love and you stay with God.

When with love, Satan can't harm you.

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#121352 - 01/24/20 02:18 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: samowens84]
fiendish Online
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Registered: 02/27/16
Posts: 650
Now, do you really believe that when in love, Satan can't harm you? Do you mean he can't, or he doesn't want to? And, what is this crap, "stay with love to stay with god"? And, "Satan serves you as you serve God"? Well, do you wanna know the first thing motherfucker? God isn't running the 600 club.
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#121354 - 01/24/20 03:06 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: fiendish]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
When I say "in love" versus "love" is an important distinction.

In my experience love is the laws of gravity that keep the universe in balance.

Being "in love" is a connection to the earth.


In and of itself the "in love" feeling had been often disrespected by some, and treated only as a drug to distract from mundane responsibilities.

What I went through was a different lesson.

I was shown how to reject the "in love" feeling to learn respect as a foundation.

Respect for my own humanity, and respect for the humanity of others.

I was in the dark once. And I knew that being "in love" with the person I met wouldn't matter if I didnt love her as a choice. I had to mean it, otherwise it was just a compulsion.

I found a lot of discouraging ignorant crap at first that put me on the defensive. But there was something there I knew that was worth choosing. I felt it. Something good. Something in her that wasn't just about feeling good or what not.

In her I found she cared about people in a way that challenged me and woke me out of my apathy.

It reminded me of why I left a Christian school when I was a teenager. I was just a child and I had been treated as less than human and tucked away. In that moment I decided that any society that treated a child that way had no excuse. And I also knew that I had to be responsible for my own humanity, so I subjected myself to challenges and drug addiction and other abuses that taught me about the most frightening depths of selfishness and my exceptional personal resourcefulness.

(I learned that for some and myself that some choices that seemed horrific was the best possible bad choice from a selection of worse choices. The choice that made good choices possible later seemed the metric.)

That had ultimately climaxed with a man that was confronted for being diluted because he used white history to excuse himself for his own human rights abuses. And he got shamed for that publicly.

The innocence of me realizing that I deserved to be treated as a human being and giving myself permission to be human was linked with personal responsibility and self-respect.

That love has no meaning without self respect.

To put things in to context I also met a young man who had a crush on a female drug dealer.

He was talking about how he liked her and such and I challenged this.


I said "why would you be with her. Didnt she get angry too easily?"

He said "Heck yeah she got angry too easily..." but that he was just "nice to her so that he could have sex with her."

These were the type of people my friend was devoted too. I saw they placated her ideals, and used her for sex so that they wouldn't have had to evolve.

In a way, they made it look like I had the same mindset as they did, mainly because I played my part well.

And I didnt blame her for thinking that about me too. Up to that point I didnt have any evidence to show I was any different.

But then she had given me a call, and I might have died, but I got angry instead because it was like nobody cared about love at all, and so if that was the way the world was gonna be, I decided to fuck it all and put my love into her hands that night and I let the chips fall where they may. I chose to love her anyway because I thought she was more innocent than me at the time. Her ignorance and belief made her heart pure. And she couldn't harm me.

I found that even though she was ignorant of the people around her, or seemingly so, she had values in her heart that I could love on my own terms.

I felt her values mattered more to her than anything else. And that her personal honor was linked to those values. And I found those values in myself and that my honor was linked to them too. We had that in common. I just never found anything in the world that gave me the kind of hope to fight for my values that way.

Until I met her.

And that became the nature of our friendship. On my part I protected my values in a way that seemed to protect her heart and give her hope as well. This translated into me uplifting myself at the same time.

I felt I had a unique perspective that sheltered her heart and values from harm. Or any more harm, with the chance to restore us both.

That was what I found was the nature of love.

Not someone's company. Not not "special memories."

A human beings values isn't defined or limited by past behavior.

For me its defined by seeing the closest values of a persons heart and choosing to cherish those values too, with my own to add that doesn't take anything away from what that person values, but builds both up.

That's the kind of love and devotion I learned from my experience with her, and I found that was in harmony with the nature of love as pertains to gravity.

This perspective seems to me to be in perfect harmony with the universe, because it kept me safe in situations that seemed hopeless.

The last thing she said to me that stuck with me was that "people like you give people hope."

And she said it with such conviction it seemed obvious she understood me and everything I just said.

I never said it out loud though.

Because we had work to do. Catharsis would have been inappropriate until the work proved the heart correct.


The innocent factor we both seemed to share was that both of us were people the world seemed to say no one should love, and i rejected that, and she seemed to agree with me.

Whether she did or didn't wasnt important except that I saw that her over giving nature, and her blindness to certain aspects of people was going to exclude her in a way that reminded me of myself and that made me angry. And caused me to fight for her that also fought for myself.

I had nothing going for me at the time except that I was a cornered animal with a lot of fight, wisdom and heart.

I wasnt built to be her house husband, but I did have something to offer as a protecter.

And that seems to be the simple nature of what happened.

If she learned anything from me at all, I hope she learned that she has a moral responsibility to include her in her own plans of salvation and not give herself away in the hope to be included because of what she did for them.

No one will include you if you don't include yourself. You have to know what you want for yourself to understand the motivations of others.

Otherwise you were just setting yourself up to be a victim of the selfish entropy of others.

You have it in you to include yourself on your own path. No one else can do that for you.

In my experience by including myself and preventing entropy, I'd had situations that others found a way to escape their own entropy.

That only happened becausw I included myself in my own plans.

Hope has a ripple effect. And saying yes to myself seemed to translate into others being able to say yes to themselves in ways they wouldn't have otherwise.

If you exist, others do too.

If you don't help yourself, then likely you're not helping others either. At least not to the best of your ability.

The wisdom of strength as I told my friend is necessary for long term harmony.

A structure can only last with a stable foundation.


Edited by samowens84 (01/24/20 03:55 PM)

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#121364 - 01/25/20 08:36 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: samowens84]
CanisMachina42 Offline
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Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1654
Loc: Ca
 Quote:
In my experience love is the laws of gravity that keep the universe in balance.


 Yup, same basic shit.

Your force of "universe love" has made the word love abhorrent to me. But arguing with the textual entrails you expel is fun, so...

While I do not expect a coherent answer out of you I want to explain why your love as universal balance is retarded and bias.

I get it. Samowens is a mindfucked new-era Christian. You see a glimmering channel of love as some source of power in the style of a dumbshit Gilmorian's Dark Force of Entropy.

What I find telling is you take love and turn it to abstraction (another idea about some close-minded shit), by removing it of its biological and environmental causes.

Don't let your dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin (The popularity chemicals), and especially ENDORPHINS (those are the finish your homework chemicals) and reproductive hormones cloud the origins of empathy.

You are applying a very very very limited reference (Earth Mammals) and ranking it alongside the workings of the cosmos, and that is a low IQ apologetic argument I can not resist.

Really, it is some of the most bias solipsistic idiocy out there. Love is personal possession, love is protection of yourself and your bloodline in a world so hostile the creatures in it must develop specific traits, SUCH AS FUCKING EMPATHY, to survive it. 

Once more, saying love as a balancing force of the universe is like:

<I paused at this point. The fun became coming up with an analogy to make folks laugh>

Analogy requirement(s):

1. Must exist in response to adverse conditions.
2. Doesn't balance as much it strengthens a specimens viability, but is otherwise negligible beyond any one animal's subjective experience.  *It balances YOU in spite of the universe.

Got it.

Love is the equivalent of pack mentality and social stigma. Love is equal to the rich kid picking on the voucher kid because they aren't from the foothills.

Much like love releases chemicals so does being on the dominant side of social stigma and casting. The popular rich kid will feel the same type a release an eye-gazing lover on a date would when he says, 

That is a nice car you got, and that it made it all the way here from the ghetto without a part falling off is amazing! Hey Machaela and Makenzie, wanna see my new A8?

He will feel pure rich kid entitlement, which is in the same part of the brain as a gushing couple in newlywed mode. the same feelings of security will result.

Both exist because of the second universal truth, and possibly the second law of thermodynamics.

Really, the symptom of the universe is no more than a song people sing to be happy.
_________________________
Spiritual : Abstraction ::

D. Scientific : Quod erat demonstrandum

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#121387 - 01/26/20 07:20 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: CanisMachina42]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
The way a love can last forever is to not confuse love with desire.


I can love someone and not want them.

What some call "heartbreak" is based on this confusion.

Others through ignorance or willful contempt had at times chosen to throw away love because they didnt get what they desired, and so selfishly broke their own heart.

When one has had the privilege of falling in love, one can maintain that connection forever by respecting the person they fell in love with, with the understanding that being in love doesn't imply an entitlement to a romantic/sexual relationship.

A love connection can last forever once this simple truth is more accepted.

This truth isn't always easy to live because it demands the kind of discipline to respect the person you're in love with.

But respecting that synergy is how to make a love last forever.

Companionship isn't synonymous with love. And if one isn't capable of loving this way, then one won't receive love either in the way that one would want.

If you're not capable of loving the person your in love with to allow that person not to be with you if they dont want you, then you dont love or respect that person, you just want how they make you feel.

The bliss of companionship is only possible when its freely given out of respect and admiration, so the possessive attitude isn't only cruel, it's stupid too.

That's the dynamic of an affair.

It's when typically a husband felt stressed and foolishly tried to force the woman to admire and respect him and failed to realize that this was an imposition that made expressing respect and admiration impossible.

An outside person not burdened by her household stress can more easily admire and respect the woman and because he doesn't need her support like the husband, can more easily allow her to respect and admire him.

And when the husband clung more tightly, it just tends to drive her away and not view her situation compassionately, and with added resentment and ignorance would prevent her from viewing him with respect or admiration with his neediness and lack of dignity.

Few often take the alternate route, to instead of chasing his wife or her affair partner, would build up his world and make himself stronger instead and making his world more attractive.

Even if she doesn't come back, he'd at least have the world he built. And his lack of intrigue in her business would make him more attractive to her because of his strength and independent nature. And his independence would make him more capable of looking at his wife with compassion, and respect instead of fear of abandonment and resentment, which would also make him more attractive and thus more likely to be reunited with her of her own free will, which is the only context when joyous companion bliss is even possible.

And even if she didnt come back, he'd at least attract a mate more compatable and not have to recover from any self imposed humiliation.


Edited by samowens84 (01/26/20 07:38 PM)

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#121388 - 01/26/20 07:51 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: samowens84]
Phoenician Offline
member


Registered: 02/16/17
Posts: 147
Loc: CA
 Quote:
I can love someone and not want them.


Yeah, they are called family members you dumbshit. And sometimes friends.

The "love" you expressed towards me is up its own sanctimonious ass. It's just words that express your own inner chemical trip that you cause yourself.

You can presence it with minister bitches and priests. Or even a god-bitch that wont fuck off. And from my experience you can actually feel some excess energy shit. They actually have a presence one can feel.

It's kinda like coming down off ecstasy. It's a dysphoric faux feeling that I imagine is the same type of shit The People's Temple all felt at some point. They probably had that same love for Mr. Jones too. Right up until the kool-aid.

To me, it seems like an unnatural chemical thing produced by bullshit alone. Almost like a social posthypnotic trigger of some sort. But definitely a somewhat uncomfortable one you wish would go away.

To put it bluntly, the feel of your type of "love" is like 3,4-Methyl​enedioxy​methamphetamine withdrawal.

Cool that it works for you, but you people are a trip with your love-o-abstractions. And that it's actually comforting for you is the most fucked thing of all. Just sayin'

The time has come for me to kill this game...

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#121389 - 01/26/20 09:20 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: Phoenician]
CanisMachina42 Offline
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Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1654
Loc: Ca
** Shit, now we gotta wait until their comments reset before this can continue. **

To recap: you (prolific sock bitches) got caught on what you have been doing for at least a decade and you are at the point where you belittle the accusation and employ disinformation tactics to discredit what I say.

May I suggest you attack the motivation in a last ditch attempt to change my opinion on how I caught all you fuckers.

Unfortunately, there isnt a G-Bitch moderator (Xear should have never trusted) to send a PM too, or a blue room to disrupt and eventually kill for being a bunch nepotistic fuckwits.

Continue.

Consider saying, "Who are all you fuckers?" That dismisses the person behind the sock I am talking at and forces me to approach it at face value.

*Other notes*

Do I need to write some trite piece about I have such a heart and empathy I just wanna help people from falling? Like some greater good affirmation bullshit?

What about one where I advocate suicide. Especially bitches caught after so many years.

Honestly, I would fucking pay to watch this bitch (who apparently TOTALLY exists) die with her bullshit love for me.

In fact I will dedicate this song to that twat's apparent theoretical love in hopes my words are carriers of my malevolent will.

For My Theoretical love




_________________________
Spiritual : Abstraction ::

D. Scientific : Quod erat demonstrandum

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#121390 - 01/26/20 09:41 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: Phoenician]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
 Originally Posted By: Phoenician
 Quote:
I can love someone and not want them.


Yeah, they are called family members you dumbshit. And sometimes friends.

The "love" you expressed towards me is up its own sanctimonious ass. It's just words that express your own inner chemical trip that you cause yourself.

You can presence it with minister bitches and priests. Or even a god-bitch that wont fuck off. And from my experience you can actually feel some excess energy shit. They actually have a presence one can feel.

It's kinda like coming down off ecstasy. It's a dysphoric faux feeling that I imagine is the same type of shit The People's Temple all felt at some point. They probably had that same love for Mr. Jones too. Right up until the kool-aid.

To me, it seems like an unnatural chemical thing produced by bullshit alone. Almost like a social posthypnotic trigger of some sort. But definitely a somewhat uncomfortable one you wish would go away.

To put it bluntly, the feel of your type of "love" is like 3,4-Methyl​enedioxy​methamphetamine withdrawal.

Cool that it works for you, but you people are a trip with your love-o-abstractions. And that it's actually comforting for you is the most fucked thing of all. Just sayin'

The time has come for me to kill this game...


That depends.

Is this a genuine philosophical criticism, or are you just annoyed that not being available doesn't have the leverage it used too?

You'd only know if the love was genuine if you'd actually be more available.

In the mean time, why should anyone put their life on hold for someone not willing to show up because of some childish attitude?


Just saying


You know.

Your whole post is nothing but speculation.

Likely assumptions you might not be willing to find out scientifically.

I was at an environmental scientific conference once and this guy collected a bunch of data on some weather issues in some region and his conclusion?:

"Global warming."


It was a lazy conclusion. Every one at the conference knew it.

Your "analysis" is also a bunch of transparent scientific sounding cliches.


Your in an emotional safe space likely protecting your heart.

Until you find the courage to talk to me openly, it's not my place to sort those feelings out for you.

I hope it made you feel better though.


Edited by samowens84 (01/26/20 09:48 PM)

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#121391 - 01/26/20 09:48 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: samowens84]
Phoenician Offline
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Registered: 02/16/17
Posts: 147
Loc: CA
Shut the fuck up and come back when you are a one of those cooters with tits, you non-applicable sock bitch. Hard to believe that's not candid enough.

You were interesting when folk were saying you were one of Alison's socks. Now you are just some bitch that provokes me, which isn't really an accomplishment at all.

And no, other me, we should dedicate this one, and know all claims to sanity have eroded.

Plus I am pretty sure it worked for Kerry as intended.



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#121392 - 01/26/20 10:08 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: Phoenician]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
Is that a no? That you intend to not show up?

Answer yes or no, and I'll take that at face value.

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#121393 - 01/26/20 10:17 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: samowens84]
Phoenician Offline
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Registered: 02/16/17
Posts: 147
Loc: CA
This is a fucking internet forum, retard. It doesnt fucking count as real life.

How about you come back when you are the flesh and blood bitch (cooter and tits) not hiding behind covers and japes, and do it in person like you are person that has a fucking shred of honor.

Also, I don't think that statement applies to you either, unless you also have a pension for hiding behind little bitch sock accounts... because you have no honor.

You are not the person I am after. They might interact with you (meaning they may use you like a Hinkley) but that's about the extent of it. And that is just my own speculation.

But, hey if you are a cooter/tit sock, please kill yourself (and film it for me) and please shove everything you offer strait up your never scratched cunt.

*** And please let this end where some bitch actually kills herself and my blatant urging that this ugly pill kills herself presents a final irony, one that puts Shakespearean tragedy to bible camp shame.

AND I ALSO FUCKING MEAN IT. <- post edit @ next comment.

There are some new laws and shit. Love to break them in.

*Reread edit*

You know I am a dude right? "Eva" has now even been done by South Park. Basically the character was like "Heather" in a recent PC Babies episode. All I need to do is say it and I can be anything I want! The results were mixed.


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#121394 - 01/26/20 10:20 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: Phoenician]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
A non answer.

I'll continue assuming my romantic freedom and let a woman I love who tried to gaslight me ungaslight themselves.

Otherwise, I'll just assume that she's too proud to do so, and would be too proud either way.


And I mean it.

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#121395 - 01/26/20 11:44 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: samowens84]
CanisMachina42 Offline
senior member


Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1654
Loc: Ca
I feel I should say this again.

You know I am a dude, right?

Otherwise you are using MY crazy to talk about your own again. Something is completely misfiring here, that much is certain.

Nevermind. Next episode.

And maybe it will finally be the series finale... because it gets cancelled after a heartbreaking cliffhanger.
_________________________
Spiritual : Abstraction ::

D. Scientific : Quod erat demonstrandum

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#121396 - 01/27/20 04:14 AM Re: Poetry insight [Re: CanisMachina42]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
No. I'm not gay so I wasnt talking to you.

Me and someone else were cross talking over you.

If that were in real life that might be insulting. Instead it's on a forum.

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#121397 - 01/27/20 08:08 AM Re: Poetry insight [Re: samowens84]
CanisMachina42 Offline
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Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1654
Loc: Ca
Exactly.

So shut the fuck up until you are the estrogen and tits I am talking at. Which reminds I haven't been too clear on that...Don't think it matters at this point.
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#121399 - 01/27/20 09:37 AM Re: Poetry insight [Re: CanisMachina42]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
You're on my thread, so its strange that you would have that opinion, and since you made such a convenient sounding board I was within my rights.

Dont be mad that you made yourself a willing tool of my thread.

With that in mind, I'll say one more thing.

A man and a woman who are in love may have mutual strong ethics, and if those ethics make it logical that those same ethics that caused them to fall in love is the same love that keeps them apart, relationship wise.

A logically compatible love founded on shared ethics, strength and passion, with those same ethics, strength and passion made it clear that those same qualities make a companion/sexual relationship impossible.

A love that caused us both to see our own beauty and cherish our own hearts is directly contradicted by relations that would have caused us to disrespect our own hearts and ethics.

One can't cherish that love and be together simultaneously.

You see?

When you said we'd never be together, this is the logic I found underneath that statement.

If you'd forgotten, you can remember that if you choose.

Here was a person who saw that I'd rejected her companionship but loved her for her passion for a better more ethical world.

That when I was in the dark had the ethical sense not to take advantage of my vulnerability in feeling alone remorseful and used up, and instead made an effort to remind me who I am and what I care about to be the person I wanted to be and who had pushed me to not give in and to persevere through the most dangerous parts of the maze with my ethics and heart intact, while honoring the thought form by guiding me to the woman I'm supposed to be with at the expense of her loneliness.

It's a standard I've worked hard to live up too and to return that kindness as best I can.


Edited by samowens84 (01/27/20 10:11 AM)

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#121400 - 01/27/20 01:13 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: samowens84]
CanisMachina42 Offline
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Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1654
Loc: Ca
As far as I am concerned every thread is mine. This is Meism afterall.

And since you want to turn my genuine call out of some "transamerican" government sponsored shill (or at least paid through some 3rd party loophole) I have all call to tell you to shut the fuck up. As I am calling out one of them "Level 7's" here, you are a Level 3 max.

And I am probably the only one that remembers that blog.

Anyway, Until you are the angry little trans bitch still mad at a society that made it different get use to getting told to stfu as i use the shit you write to riff on.

Things like your man/woman shit. No relationship is more boring and no porn is less entertaining than your breeder shit.  Emphasis on breeder. Things that want kids.

I swear I would grab an infant by the fucking legs and slam it against the wall just to see it cough up blood, in a weak wimper, convulse, and die. <- And that is a legitimate infanticide fetish. I look at even someone elses infant or toddler and I am just want to hit them in the head. Like make them.cry, and then hit them.until they shut up. But that is just me.

You are the epitome of a fucking hetero breeder
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#121401 - 01/27/20 01:27 PM Re: Poetry insight [Re: CanisMachina42]
aeon6 Offline
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Registered: 04/16/18
Posts: 357
Loc: KÝbenhavn, Denmark
Smells like children already.
Are they vaccinated?

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#121407 - 01/27/20 08:34 PM A Different Thread Now [Re: aeon6]
CanisMachina42 Offline
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Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1654
Loc: Ca
Well. Another general reply to continue on about myself while owning my derangement.

 I once came across this Pinoy cunt named Addy.  This bitch had it in her head that being able to love the idea of love was some intrinsic proof of divinity. In fact, many things were proof of divinity to this dumb Filipino bitch. Luckily, an obituary eventually bared her name. Don't how much of a farce it was, but anyway... Apparently dead.

To this trick being able to think someone loves you without proof is confirmation of some little Christian parable. To it, everyones NATURAL predisposition was towards leaps of faith, and her sick little tribe would take to the streets with folk to prove it.  Complete with weird looking face tattoo bitches with Henna Ink swastikas asking to use my phone as one of the friends films it.

And that's what this twat's (Samowens) version of love reminds me of. Some fucktard apologetic equivocation that being able to take such leaps of faith on ideas and premise is proof of something absolute.

The underlying premise of this Minister cunt's game was that being pushed through circles of hell will promote a dualist mindset and prove IT'S ALL TOTALLY REAL. Of course after the person cries for love to free them like the codependent bitches they are.

And that's where I am now.

2011-Present. Like some bitch using me to get her divinity doctorate. Bits and pieces. A bullshit puzzle of internet personas, and a minister driving a yellow Ford Fiesta covered in Jesus stickers claiming a handle way back in 2011 that I didn't learn of until the end of 2013.

Endless, Formless, Nameless.

Might as well have told me loving a barrel of rotting fish would lead to a Shangri La made of candy.

YOU OWE ME AT LEAST 8 YEARS, BITCH.
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#121408 - 01/27/20 08:58 PM Re: A Different Thread Now [Re: CanisMachina42]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
Grow up. No one owes you shit.

I won't call that a lot of drivel and self absorbed self hatred, but that's how that looks.

Lol your gullibility in placing your belief in CIA shit is what's kept you disempowered.

Even if I thought you weren't aware of quantum mechanics in ways we both understand, the whole idea of pretending that if you play nice then the CIA would give you a cookie is naive in the extreme.

And so exactly who is being gullible here, all due respect?


Edited by samowens84 (01/27/20 09:47 PM)

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#121409 - 01/27/20 09:39 PM Re: A Different Thread Now [Re: samowens84]
CanisMachina42 Offline
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Registered: 08/10/13
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Loc: Ca
Matter of opinion. And like I give a fuck if you tell me to "grow up", you pudgy little bitch.

I say I am owed back pay to at least 2014. As soon as some cunt sent "Jen's mom" (you do not have to know who that is) into my life to pretend Jayhawk Rachael was her dead daughter killed by my magic. I have been on the clock since then in my fucking opinion.

I really don't have a believable way to explain it, but it's there in the lore of remote viewing.

Cassandra syndrome is inherent in this one, and will be illustrated by the following in terms of believable.

*********************

In the 70's The CIA used a person much like yourself, and fluffed them up with some belief that The US enforces religion and it is their job to save people. They would even make their job contingent on getting this person. The jape would be driven by self-presevation alone.

They (The CIA puppetmasters) would use superstition, and do shit like remotely knock shit off shelves with telekinetic spy power just to substantiate it. People ALWAYS ate it up and would help the parasite not fuck off until the person (target) gave in.

Eventually, however, that person would lose (sometimes after years), and the person they wouldn't leave alone would get to kill them. In fact one specific former remote viewer even said, "The only mistake he made was saying he loved someone that didn't really exist in the way he thought." (Sic)

I didn't make this up. It was in a memoir I was lucky enough to have known about.

And that is where my demand comes in. I think everything lines up to that.

Call it messianic delusion, but I fucking swear this is the spy agency espionage test I have read about. And according to everything I have read, I WON'T GET MY LIFE BACK UNTIL THIS PERSON GIVES THE FUCK UP. And i most certainly can't give in to them..

Someone has to win. And someone has to lose. It is all about integrity, and one not highlighted by a persons gullibility and blind trust. Or some of the shit I have done for that matter.

Sorry, I feel I am owed a fucking ending for no other reason than telling everyone to shove their prerequisite faith strait up their ass.

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#121410 - 01/27/20 09:50 PM Re: A Different Thread Now [Re: CanisMachina42]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
Lol your gullibility in placing your belief in CIA shit is what's kept you disempowered.†

Even if I thought you weren't aware of quantum mechanics in ways we both understand, the whole idea of pretending that if you play nice then the CIA would give you a cookie is naive in the extreme.†

And so exactly who is being gullible here, all due respect.

There were greater politics and considerations and wants that you seemed to not notice because of your single minded focus on some CIA memo.

Seems like classic misdirection and you fell for it trying to prove you weren't crazy and feel normal again.

You're a smart simpleton. That's your problem.



Edited by samowens84 (01/27/20 09:52 PM)

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#121411 - 01/27/20 10:00 PM Re: A Different Thread Now [Re: samowens84]
CanisMachina42 Offline
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Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1654
Loc: Ca
Right into what I wanted you to post. Thanks!

Do you know what you just did?

First, let me speculate you probably believe in spirits and angels and gods and devil's and shit, don't you?

If I were to say, I don't know, "I think a djinn has totally taken over my body and i am totally possessed". You would be right there probably offering advice trying to help or some such.

But your psyops conditioning is apparent. You hear "CIA" and "Remote Viewing" and will go blank in a way other superstition would not prompt.

They are equivocal, and my assertion should hold no less validity. But you are a mindless drone, and you immediately belittle what might be the truth without realizing that is your role.

Oblivious thetan auditor. It's ok, you really know not what you do. Yet, nothing you say will change my mind. Actually, most of these things are declassified, should you have any interest. I wouldn't have read a verifiable memoir otherwise.

The CIA, according to the source disbanded that method in the early 90's, but the NSA (and others) still uses it for their remote viewing program.

Anyway. I will be this guy now:



Cool with me.
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#121412 - 01/27/20 10:12 PM Re: A Different Thread Now [Re: CanisMachina42]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
Now that you feel superior, you can mind your own business now.

And for the record, I said you were misdirected and manipulated, not lied too.

Truth manipulates better than lies.

And you likely know that.

Either way it doesn't matter. You have more sense than you're letting on.

Youre likely just sad and drunk judging my your shit.

Your probably a bartender or a waiter trying to focus on work and to distract yourself from depression and still make tips.

Just a guess. Not remote viewing or anything lol.


Edited by samowens84 (01/27/20 10:18 PM)

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#121413 - 01/27/20 10:41 PM Re: A Different Thread Now [Re: samowens84]
Phoenician Offline
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Registered: 02/16/17
Posts: 147
Loc: CA
See, what makes you "lol" that? Have you ever considered it? Would you LOL someone's spiritual epiphany of divine purpose? Like would you laugh if someone said they had a spiritual experience with an angel that grew heart 3 full sizes and made them want to spread love? Would you LOL that?

As such, what I say could be completely true and not compromise a thing. This is Auto Exec Batshit. A rhetorical kill-switch.

But I can debate you with fallacy on this one.

I look at it like this. In 1987 if you said,

"There is a fucking secret military base in the neveda desert where they test hypersonic two-stage vehicles and unmanned drones, and there is even a secret airline that flies them to work there everyday".

You were a fucking nutbag like I am now. You were a moonbat talking on alien abductions and covert black projects. And just wait until more than the engines of the "Aurora", a two stage stratospheric interceptor, are declassified! You were Art bell. You were David Icke. You were belittled because cold war society has been programmed to be spiritual before weary of unknown technology or ability.

How the fuck are you so goddamn sure spy agencies don't recruit through something that may as well be spelled out in MSS? Opfer testing by any other name. Never know?

So fuck you, and likewise, mind your own shit.

Also.

As of today (shit could happen) If I was a family of 4, I would be slightly above the "low income" line in the city where I live... That is all you need to know.


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#121517 - 02/06/20 07:51 AM Poetry Insight [Re: Phoenician]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
Sylvia Plath and Jim Morrison.

One had a husband who cheated on her with an apparently gypsie like woman. Jim cheated on his wife with a gypsie woman.

Assuming one believed in alternate past lives and such, Jim's soul was Plath's soul.


Her own reasons for exploring the psychology of the "other woman."

Men often forget that behind the innocence of being "in love" the woman is still very much calculating, and still very much human, while the man was often filled with wonder at the world opened up to him, in a sense numbing experience akin to opium.

Sylvia Plath was still a woman scorned, even amidst spiritual growth.

The woman who had stolen her husband in her eyes had to know what that felt like, even as the "other woman."

That amidst all her spiritual sophistication and intellect was still a neglected love starved soul that just wanted love.

In the movie "The Doors" the gypsie woman seemed to be hurt like she was cheated on, in a manner similar to Plath's experience.

In regards to the experience of that gypsie womans psychology she seemed a woman who just settled for what she thought she could get. If she couldn't have the simple love of a good man then she settled for the ecstacy of divine experience. When that made her feel empty she thought that perhaps having a baby would have filled that void where a good man was meant to be.

Not that one should always find that, but that instinct is there, and avoiding it is what led her to delusional paths that made her feel sophisticated that produced sharp awareness in other areas.

But accepting that sense of emptiness or lack of a good man in your immediate life who understands every aspect of you is what would make you stronger.

If you can give that to yourself then maybe you can attract that.

If you're still compensating and avoiding that instinct to find things to distract from that need, then that need won't be filled.

But being open and accepting that need for what it is, not being embarrassed by it, and even nurturing that need for that kind of love is the purest form of self love, even if the partner you want doesn't arrive, you'd learn to love yourself millions of times better than a partner ever would.

My advice would be to face that emptiness and get to know that part of you and every part of what that part of you needs in a pure and loving and innocent way.

The kind of self love innocence that only you can give yourself.

And then when that part of psychology becomes less needy you might have created a self sufficient beautiful world that would attract the type of partner you crave.

And if you feel embarrassed for knowing everything about yourself but this, you might consider that you were so driven to know everything about yourself to avoid facing this.

Because it's a vulnerability, and you may have thought this instinct to be an exploitable weakness, but running from it isn't the same as owning that part of yourself. And by refusing to understand it, it had become an exploitable weakness. Understanding and owning every other part of you doesn't compensate for refusing to own and understand that part of yourself.

Just saying.


Edited by samowens84 (02/06/20 08:32 AM)

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#121520 - 02/06/20 09:03 AM Re: Poetry Insight [Re: samowens84]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
Posts: 730
Politics is another means that someone I know avoided that part of themselves.

There isn't any political association that can replace your need for a father's love.



To try and meld with any group or person is that delusional aspect. If possible, one should have many alliances to avoid self delusion on that level. Some might think that would keep you from serving any one of them effectively, but if you lose yourself in one group or one person you'd lack the objectivity to serve that group or person.

If you're acutely aware of who you are then you can be useful to many, or you can immerse yourself in one and be useless to all.

To admit no delusion of self increases empathy and awareness to see anothers needs, and to always be aware that you're not one of them so as to have strength and clarity to help people you care about.

The more you're in touch with your own souls secrets by consciously admitting to yourself your separateness from others, the more you can love yourself and have compassion for yourself for your secrets. And then one can see the genuine secrets of others that match your own level of self love.

If you lack this sense of clarity, strength and self love, you might find yourself unable to be good to anyone.

The human need to have a loving father or loving mother can't be replaced or erased by spirituality or a group or a cause.

Only another human being's love can do that. And since this instinct seems to be common to everyone, any cause that tried to get around that was diluding itself, because the very reason that people joined these types of "causes" was because of that human need for love.

A person trying to avoid their need for a loving family and caring parent can't take the lead in helping a person who accepts that about themselves.

How do you try to explain to someone else that they "dont need" that when you yourself know that's a lie?

This instinct is the foundation for ones relationship to everything else. It's the foundation.

If this foundation is not healthy, then everything you touch would be touched by what's toxic in you.


Edited by samowens84 (02/06/20 09:46 AM)

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#121521 - 02/06/20 11:21 AM Re: Poetry Insight [Re: samowens84]
samowens84 Online
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Registered: 09/29/16
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All women in my experience have had to stretch themselves to be true to basic moral principles of family and protecting women and children to remain uncorrupted in what was a corrupted world.

The problem as I've seen it is that women often seemed to think they were the only one with secrets that kept their soul alive.

I've seen this when a woman might complain in private that nobody seemed to "understand" them and seemed to wish someone would see through their gunk and love them, but then judged other women for how they looked to the world as if they had no secret pretzel dance of their own.

If anything ever got in the way of women healing themselves, it's this sense of self involved self absorption that kept them from healing.

Another womans pretzel isn't something to ignore. It might hurt you if you foolishly walk without looking, but it isn't something to hate that woman for either.

Sometimes a third way between self protection and healing karmic wounds is just that last piece of the pretzel so to speak.

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