#15249 - 12/01/08 11:44 AM
Re: Jokes
[Re: Picunnus]
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Dan_Dread
stalker
Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 3810
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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That isn't a joke, its a parable.
THIS is a joke.
Why don't black people and indians have children?
Because you end up with kids that are too lazy to steal.
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ADMideological vandal
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#15301 - 12/01/08 09:16 PM
Re: Jokes
[Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
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Phaethon
pledge
Registered: 08/01/08
Posts: 78
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Q: What is the difference between Sarah Palins Mouth and her cunt?
A: Only one retarded thing has come out of her cunt.
I actually heard that on 4chan once..
I laughed so hard I cried
_________________________
My God & I are one & the same,
We have the same face we have the same name.
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#15304 - 12/01/08 10:36 PM
Re: Jokes
[Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
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blsk
member
Registered: 09/22/08
Posts: 298
Loc: salem or
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Okay, when I read that I fucking died. That is sooo wrong I had to laugh to be comfortable with what I had just read. Bravo, that was good. LOL
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#15449 - 12/03/08 11:22 PM
Re: Jokes
[Re: blsk]
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Chelsea_Grin
pledge
Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 54
Loc: Atlanta, GA
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Dr. Dave is sitting in his surgery after hours one night thinking about his encounter with a patient the week before. He pictures an angel on his right shoulder and a devil on his left as he looks in the mirror, the devil is saying "Dave mate, don’t worry about it you wont be the first doctor to sleep with a patient and you certainly wont be the last" then the angel pipes up " for fuck sake Dave, you're a vet!!!"
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#15481 - 12/04/08 12:09 PM
Re: Jokes
[Re: Chelsea_Grin]
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Jake999
senior member
Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
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A woman goes into a bar. It was quiet and the bar was empty, so she sat on a stool and ordered a Budweiser. The bartender gave her the beer, she took one drink and passed out cold.
The bartender was worried. She might be hurt. She might sue him. He thought that he had better make her comfortable on the sofa in the back and then call 911. He took her to the sofa and she looked soooooo good that he just couldn't help himself. He did her. Moments later, she woke up, straightened up and walked out of the bar.
The next day, he was telling his friend about it and she walked in again, sat at the bar and said, "I'll have a Budweiser." Same drink, same effect. She hit the floor and both the bartender and his friend took her to the couch and had their way with her. Moments later, she woke up, straightened up and walked out of the bar.
The next day, the bar was full. It got deathly quiet as she made her order, and when she passed out, they lined up next to the sofa. Moments later, she woke up, straightened up and walked out of the bar.
The next day, the bar was full, there was a line around the block, cops were doing traffic control and the Channel 7 Eyewitness News helicopter was circling the area. She walked in and sat at the bar. "I'll have a Coors light," she said.
The bartender said, "I thought you liked Budweiser."
She said, "I do, but Budweiser makes my pussy sore."
_________________________
Bury your dead, pick up your weapon and soldier on.
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#15571 - 12/06/08 01:09 AM
Re: Jokes
[Re: spiderbreeder]
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Dherrick
stranger
Registered: 11/01/08
Posts: 8
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Thats rediculous.
I gotta remember that one.
Sorry I don't have any to add.
_________________________
All lies are true.
All words are false.
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#15616 - 12/06/08 12:56 PM
Re: Jokes
[Re: Dherrick]
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Anthony West
stranger
Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 43
Loc: Germany
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Dude, that one was awesome.
Here's one:
Q: What's long and hard on a 14-year old nigger boy?
A: 2nd grade.
_________________________
There can be but little liberty on earth while men worship a tyrant in heaven
-Robert Green Ingersoll
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#15619 - 12/06/08 01:59 PM
Re: Jokes
[Re: ta2zz]
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Anthony West
stranger
Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 43
Loc: Germany
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Here's another racist joke.
Q: How long does it take for a black woman to take out the trash?
A: 9 months
_________________________
There can be but little liberty on earth while men worship a tyrant in heaven
-Robert Green Ingersoll
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#15645 - 12/06/08 10:14 PM
Re: Jokes
[Re: spiderbreeder]
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Dan_Dread
stalker
Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 3810
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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If ww2 was an online game:
*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny~tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*
_________________________
ADMideological vandal
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#15955 - 12/11/08 09:50 AM
Re: Jokes
[Re: Dan_Dread]
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Fabiano
member
Registered: 09/06/08
Posts: 374
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The CICADA and the ANT
ENGLISH VERSION
The ant works hard all summer long in the heat wave. It builds its house and prepares its provisions for the winter.
The cicada thinks that the ant is stupid; it laughs, dances and plays all the summer. When the winter came, the ant is in the heat and is well nourished.
The cicada trembling of cold has neither food nor shelter has and dies of cold.
> > > END
FRENCH VERSION
The ant works hard all the summer in the heat wave. It builds its house and prepares its provisions for the winter. The cicada thinks that the ant is stupid; it laughs, dances and plays all the summer.
When the winter came, the ant is in the heat and is well nourished. The cicada trembling of cold organizes a press conference and asks why the ant has the right to be in the heat and nourished well while the others, less lucky like it, are cold and hunger. Television organizes emissions on line which show the cicada trembling of cold and passes video extracts of the ant well in the heat in its comfortable house with a table full with provisions.
The French's are surprised that, in a so rich country, one lets suffer this poor cicada while others live in abundance. Associations against poverty express in front of the house of the ant. The journalists organize interviews asking why the ant became rich on the back of the cicada and challenge the government to increase the taxes of the ant so it pays “its just part".
In answer to the surveys, the government writes a law on economic equality and a law (retroactive since the summer) about anti-discrimination.
The taxes of the ant are increased and the ant receives also a fine for not to having engaged the cicada as an assistant. The house of the ant is preempted by the authorities because the ant doesn't have enough money to pay its fine and its taxes.
The ant leaves France and installs successfully in Switzerland.
Television makes a report on the now fattened cicada. It is finishing the last provisions of the ant although spring is still far. The old house of the ant, turned into social housing for the cicada, worsens because the latter didn’t do anything for maintaining it.
Reproaches are made with the government for the lack of means. An investigation commission is set up, which will cost 10 millions euros.
The cicada dies of an overdose.
“Liberation” and “L' Humanité” comment the failure of the government to rectify the problem of the social inequalities seriously.
The house is squatted by a gang of immigrant spiders. The government is pleased with the multicultural diversity of France.
The spiders organize traffic of marijuana and terrorize the community.
> > > END
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