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#1284 - 10/28/07 03:14 AM Where do you fail?
Asmedious Moderator Offline
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Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1751
Loc: New York
I have seen tons of topics on what it is to be a Satanist. However, most of the time, people proudly declare what makes them “Satanic,” for lack of a better word.

I’m curious to see, if anyone is willing to admit to areas, that they consider to be a Satanic trait, or traits, where they fall short themselves.

Since I bought up the subject, I’ll start.

In my definition of a Satanist, one important factor is independence, and self sufficiency. For me, this would mean working for myself, and not relying on an employer. I despise following the rules of others, and pretending to care about things, which I don’t care about at all.

Not only do I not work for myself, or have my own business, but I have stupidly fallen into a career, (and I use the term career very loosely), in which the rules and regulations are seemingly endless. Health care.

Granted, chances are, that if I continue in this field, I will almost always be able to find employment, just about anywhere I chose to go. However, I will continually, have to play the obedient sheep, and follow the whims of many different managers, and bosses.

I have a vision of what kind of a person the ultimate Satanist is, a person who is “Self Actualized” using the definition of Maslow, and I for one, can admit, that at this time, I fall very short in several aspects, from being that person.
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"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

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#1286 - 10/28/07 01:52 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
TornadoCreator Offline
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Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
Well I'm the exact opposite in many respects. I am self employed, however because my self-employment is unreliable and I don't actually earn enough money to live off I receive supplements and benefits from the government making me reliant on a system that I really despise is many ways however in many more ways breaking the system would require me to change principals that I've kept for a while. I could easily, for example, make myself more employable by cutting my hair and shaving, however I refuse because I like having long hair and a beard and it's my head so I'll bloody well do what I want with it. Why am I so adamant? Because I feel like it, no other reason is necessary.
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If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

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#1289 - 10/28/07 03:14 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
Gravity Offline
stranger


Registered: 10/02/07
Posts: 11
Loc: U S A
I can relate to what your saying. I am extremely proud as well and set standards for myself that are ridiculous considering my station in life. I feel though that if I keep that bar just slightly out of reach at all times then I will continually progress.

I personally feel that Satanism is about complete control over oneself. One can't be a master of the earth until they've become a master over themselves. This is the mindset I've grown up with. The Satanism part was just recently tagged on and absorbed into my life.

Where do I fall short? I haven't obtained everything in life that I want. I will not be fully satisfied until I've achieved my goals. Don't get me wrong, I do what I can to please myself at all times. But the life I am leading right now is not enough for me to be content.

Still though, I don't think a Satanist can be so easily pegged into a short definition. You just know it when you meet a Satanist, whether they know it or not. At least in my experience.
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Self Preservation Is The Highest Law

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#1291 - 10/28/07 06:45 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
delusion Offline
pledge


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 77
Loc: hawaii
This is hands down the best post I have ever read on any of the versions of this board. So much so that i'm actually going to take part in it.

You hit the nail so firmly on the head that its just rediculous. Satanism, when on display is all about letting everyone know what a bad ass you (the satanist) may be at the same time keeping their faults hidden away from the world. That's what I have taken from it in listening to the big bad satanists around the world.

So on to my shit.

I have stopped taking the idea of Satanism so seriously which has been a great step in my evolution.

My biggest fault is that I tend to let emotion rule my feelings for others. Perhaps a bit paranoid, perhaps a bit crazy.. who knows. All it takes is one speech from our president, one dumb shit to not yeild when their supposed to, to realize that i'm being used, hearing some middle American military clown telling me their "defending my freedom" and I just loose my shit.

This is an internal reaction mind you which I think is equally detrimental to that pragmatic/rational mindset that satanists should try to embrace.

I guess you could call that thin skinned thinking. Either way you slice it that is the part of myself that I put the most effort into subdueing. Believe me it does take effort, I find myself taking so many "deep breaths" a day you'd think I was doing lamaze.

Other then that I think i'm pretty damn satanic, turns out though that I just don't give a shit about Satanism... go figure.

This is funny to me and also happens to sum up almost all of Satanism for me perfectly.
another bad ass satanist!!! Somebopdy get this motherfucker a carrot.


Thanks again Asmodious for starting the best thread ever!!!

abidy abidy abidy ... that's all folks!



Delusion


Edited by delusion (10/28/07 06:47 PM)

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#1292 - 10/28/07 07:43 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: delusion]
Octavius Offline
member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 561
Loc: just visiting
Hmmm...

I recently stepped out of the corporate world to some extent...instead of working for one of the biggest banks in the world, I'm now selling musical instruments on commission for one of the biggest music stores in the nation. The biggest difference is that I'm in control of my paycheck now. I like the freedom that commission gives me...if I'm having a stellar month, I might just take a day off on a whim. If not, I know I better get my ass in the store or on the phone. Either way, I feel more in control of my success in this environment than I ever did working at the bank.

As far as Satanism applies, though, I've gone off the esoteric deep end and begun to explore more metaphysical aspects of where Satanism took me. I'm still very focused on my personal desires and needs, but I've come to realize that if I'm going to call myself "God" there is a certain amount of responsibility and accountability that comes with such a statement. In that respect, I've become more aware and active in social justice, morality, and judgment based on personal experience as opposed to the ten o'clock news and morning paper. The ideal of the self-serving ego-maniacal satanist whose only concern is himself has ceased to be productive. I've gotten a lot more out of life (and a lot more personal wealth and happiness) since I stopped cursing the world and stared actively changing it.

I find that most satanists are incredibly myopic and the title itself has lost all meaning to me. Still, I have a difficult time tempering my new found views with rationality and practicality. Admittedly, I have been duped by those who I allot my own personal power to. The world is full of teachers, but I've been quick to raise those teachers to a godly status, which hasn't served me well at all.
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#1294 - 10/29/07 03:03 AM Good Question! [Re: Asmedious]
Dakindas Offline
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Registered: 10/20/07
Posts: 24
Loc: The Web
Hmmm.

HMMMMM.

By what yardstick do we measure ourselves?

Satanic traits are tricky, because someones modern satanist is another persons scum bag fuck. I speak to some of the contradictions inherent in popular Satanism. Might is Right is incompatible with LaVeys condemnation of the corrupt white light religions and his critique could easily be extended to modern politics and many other institutions.

In a nut shell, his contempt for hypocracy renders all which fail to uphold the ideals of their mission statements null and void and worth naught but scorn. And yet i've seen some satanists praise those who lie and swindle the gullible for financial, sexual or cultural gain. To me, Antons bible appears to root against that type of thing a promote a what you see is what you get integrity.

Stupidity should be painful (for the stupid) and many take that to mean fuck the stupid, exploit them, ruthlessly if you will it, but if that were what he meant then surely he would be praising the tax exemption 'for profit' nature of the major religions instead of condemning them. How will the truly ignorant experience real existential pain if their gullibility is not exposed to them? It's quite a vague philosophy with the potential for wide dichotomies if the whole cup is to be ingested.

Anyway, I'm in a different situation when it comes to work. I have no career to speak of, dropped out of university and detest a five day working week.

But i wouldn't say that not needing an employer is equal to independence, however. No man is an island. Without an employer you're still dependent on a client pool, unless you mean someone who literally makes vast sums of money by not really doing anything.

On paper, and according to my bank account, i'm a shitkicking wage slave, no doubt. But theres a certain autonomy in what i do.

I'll illustrate.

I work a shit job for shit pay. Quality Assurance Inspector at GMH (Australian wing of GM, automotive industry) but not for GM, it's a third party gig. Casual, but five day weeks are always available should i wish it, though i rarely do.

The company is as dodgy as fuck and they know that i know this so if i don't wish to work on any given day i don't even bother to say "oh. . i'm sick" or "my cat died. . " or anything like that, i just say "yea i'm not interested in working today, call me tomorrow". It's all good, i'm still priority floor staff. Young girls in the office, my non threatening and friendly persona with a rock and roll edge and my ability to liaise on site with the suits (ie, front for the company) helps me operate this way with impunity.

I also do high paying but grueling laborious work for a friend of mine who is a steel fixer (steel reinforcement) by trade, but only when he needs more manpower for the bigger jobs. He pays handsomely, cash in hand, and this supplements my day job nicely.

Additionally i build custom PC systems as i have contacts with a local store who don't charge me any markup but quote me components at wholesale prices. I simply resell these systems for my clients at markup after building them at home (i basically save them $1000+ easy per system and charge $250 - $300 for my services, on average). In fact, as far as i can tell, i'm the cheapest seller of high end systems in the country.

This doesn't happen too often however but i'm looking to change that. Easy money, a small passion of mine too and it's win-win for both myself and the client.

But i'm not at all financially secure, in the sense that i could end all of the above and jet set around the globe fucking gold digging Swedish blondes in hot tubs each weekend. However i have no debts at all. No mortgage, no credit cards, no hire purchase goods. I pay cash or not at all. I don't own land or property. I've never considered this fact to be a problem, i live rather spartan by preference but the 'gotta make money bug' is growing in me of late.

It's a catch 22. I only want money so i don't have to work.

The biggest pang i have upon self reflection is my serious nicotine addiction. It's pretty shocking at times. I'm not even sure if addiction is the right word, i sometimes go days between cigarettes but im prone to serious binge smoking, more often than not.

I can't think of someone else i'd rather be but me. Issues i take tend to exist outside of myself. I'd like more money, a bigger dick and hard abs but that's about it. Oh, back flips, 540 kicks and pro zippo lighter tricks would be nice to pull off too.

Essentially i'm into self improvement and i think fundamentally that is the crux of satanic doctrine. So for me self improvement doesn't mean having more bling then the guy next to me, it's more an existential process with a strong rejection of nihilistic tendencies.

At the same time i often feel rather isolated intellectually. My friends respect me deeply but will also refer to me as nutter or tripper (affectionately) and i often abstain from a social occasion due to a feeling that theres a large gulf between what's going on in my head at the time and what's going on in their heads at the time.

They wanna drink beer, chase skirt or have a LAN party (which is cool, and they're great guys) but i want to read Rome and Jerusalem or Morals and Dogma (or whatever) and muse over effective counter measures should the current covert war against the Western populations by criminal Western elites turn hot.

If i'm not going to enjoy myself then i'd rather abstain than dampen any fun they might have due to my lack of enthusiasm.

On the internet i tend to find more like minds than i have in the flesh. I'm in Australia you see and most aussies are pretty much like your left leaning American soccer mum. Which is fine for them, to each their own, but where is my own? Those Australians i've met who actually are aware of the conspiratorial nature of history are usually closet fascists or raving communists. I abhor both. The 'satanists' i've met would like to spend their time pouring over the Goetia trying to conjure demons to help them get laid or discuss the 'artistry' of the film SAW III. . . (we seriously need a frown smiley).

I'm not sure i've answered your poignant question aside my smoking confession and perhaps the issues i raised with some satanic precepts. However, refreshing myself with Maslow's Hirearchy Of Needs i'd have to say i'm definately self actualised, i'll use wiki's summary to define such a claim.

1, They embrace the facts and realities of the world (including themselves) rather than denying or avoiding them.
2, They are spontaneous in their ideas and actions.
3, They are creative.
4, They are interested in solving problems; this often includes the problems of others. Solving these problems is often a key focus in their lives.
5, They feel a closeness to other people, and generally appreciate life.
6, They have a system of morality that is fully internalized and independent of external authority.
7, They have discernment and are able to view all things in an objective manner

Anything less then the above would be a disgrace to the Self!

And from what i've read from you Asmed i'm suprised you feel differently (about yourself).

Take heed O man and listen! If you want respect then be respectable! If you want the affection of your lust then be desirable! If you seek loyalty from your friends then be ye Honorable! The intangible operates in real time and cannot be denied! Know this! All other avenues are self abusive folly! Wake up! Know yourself!

(I'm reminded here by those spouses who when concerned their partner is attracted to another, become hateful, cold, accusatory and vengeful, which is an utterly absurd and self destructive symptom of weakness and poor self image. The contrast they then create between their bitter selves and the pleasant co worker, neighbor or acquaintance is amplified a thousandfold. Better it is to address where your jealousy comes from, what is the nature of the threat that you feel and why does it threaten you - it is usually something you feel you lack yourself. Therefore amend yourself, show your spouse that you are the finest partner s/he could wish for, because you are. If this, upon truly honest self realisation, is impossible then accept this fact and allow your love to his right to unfettered (read: unobligated) joy should you become convinced s/he seeks it elsewhere.)

Back to you Asmedious, the above and much of this, naturally as this is an open forum, is for whoever is reading.

I believe you've been entirely honest in that you don't like wearing such a false and obligated mask; that your career choice alone humiliates you or forces you to compromise. . . like a check out chick who smiles behind bored-to-hateful eyes as she says "Hi, how are you today?"

I have a certain charisma (and i can tell you do too) and many who know me would say that i'm a 'people person', but there's no way i'd ever work in hospitality, retail or as a public servant in the current system. If it aint real, i don't sell it. I don't just mean the product but my myself, my words and my deeds.

When you say you feel you made a poor career choice, i believe you and empathise.

So, where do i fail?

Hmmm, aside from being an often chronic smoker, the non issue in my view of not owning property (for it's own sake) and the inability right now to offer a concise and cathartic reply in less than two paragraphs i can only say that if i could live again, i might do some things differently, but on the whole i'm my favorite person that i've actually met.

And you all should be too.

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Qui Bono?

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#1296 - 10/29/07 04:15 AM Re: Good Question! [Re: Dakindas]
daevid777 Offline
active member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Hell's Pisshole, Texas
The land and the king are one...

Thanks.
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Where we're going, we don't need roads.

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#1300 - 10/29/07 08:47 PM Re: Good Question! [Re: daevid777]
Dev Samael Daval Offline
stranger


Registered: 09/05/07
Posts: 37
Loc: Toledo, OH
 Quote:
As far as Satanism applies, though, I've gone off the esoteric deep end and begun to explore more metaphysical aspects of where Satanism took me. I'm still very focused on my personal desires and needs, but I've come to realize that if I'm going to call myself "God" there is a certain amount of responsibility and accountability that comes with such a statement. In that respect, I've become more aware and active in social justice, morality, and judgment based on personal experience as opposed to the ten o'clock news and morning paper. The ideal of the self-serving ego-maniacal satanist whose only concern is himself has ceased to be productive. I've gotten a lot more out of life (and a lot more personal wealth and happiness) since I stopped cursing the world and stared actively changing it.


Good counsel.

You sound like the Blue Devil. That can be dangerous around these parts.




The language of reality is metaphor, archetype, color and tone.

In your eternal service,
Dev Samael Daval
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#1394 - 11/03/07 06:14 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
Euronymous Offline
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Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 46
Loc: san diego, ca
First off, I would like to say that I really admire this topic and the way Asmedious was so honest. For me, I fall short in the areas pertaining to true self-reliance. Though I am only 23 years of age, I am accustomed to working for someone else instead of myself. Sometimes, I also fall into the Satanic sin otherwise known as 'counterproductive pride' and I will act in a way that will hurt me later on down the line. For me being a Satanist means being the Master of Yourself and thus by being so, you are the Master of your world and can influence the outside world in accordance with your will. It also means being creative, independent, having wisdom, intellect and having the drive and the desire to put the pieces of the puzzle called Life in the places that you want them to fit.
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" And in the secret caves of my wisdom, it is known that there is no God but Me. "

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#1395 - 11/03/07 10:49 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Euronymous]
TornadoCreator Offline
member


Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
Irritatingly I'm also quite sinful, guilty of 'counterproductive pride'. I refuse to be part of a system which doesn't respect me, therefor I won't cut my hair, shave my beard etc. just to get a job stacking shelves because the managers in this area have a ridicules prejudice based on appearance. My friends have said my chances of employment will increase a lot if I just give in but I won't. I would rather work for myself anyway and have done. Unfortunately I'm not skilled enough to carry on that line of work, so I've gone to college. I will learn. The problem is this pride has damaged my lifestyle for the time being and caused me some rather nasty experiences of which I feel I've learned a lot and grown a great deal from but all the same I would like my current situation to improve.
_________________________
If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

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#1415 - 11/04/07 10:41 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut
 Originally Posted By: TornadoCreator
I refuse to be part of a system which doesn't respect me, therefor I won't cut my hair, shave my beard etc.


A real rebel type huh?

 Quote:
just to get a job stacking shelves because the managers in this area have a ridicules prejudice based on appearance.


Be happy stacking shelves if it makes you money...

 Quote:
My friends have said my chances of employment will increase a lot if I just give in but I won't.


I would consider it grabbing my balls and being a man not giving in...

 Quote:
I would like my current situation to improve.


So you are going to school to improve it good for you... Now shave and get a haircut... If that is all it takes to improve your life? Are you just silly or lazy?

peace

~T~
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#1444 - 11/05/07 04:58 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: ta2zz]
TornadoCreator Offline
member


Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
I never said it makes sense, my refusal to cut my hair and shave. However it's all about improving my life and it would make me feel extremely depressed if I find it's true that the only reason I don't have a job is that I have long hair, because I refuse to accept at current, that people are treated as nothing but objects. I know it's true, but I want a job where I have it based on personal merit not the length of my fucking hair.
_________________________
If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

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#1448 - 11/05/07 09:13 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut
 Originally Posted By: TornadoCreator
I never said it makes sense, my refusal to cut my hair and shave.


I know yet you say you would like things to get better and you seem to know the solution…

 Quote:
However it's all about improving my life and it would make me feel extremely depressed if I find it's true that the only reason I don't have a job is that I have long hair, because I refuse to accept at current, that people are treated as nothing but objects.


Do you refuse the truth because it suits your ego to remain correct?

 Quote:
I know it's true, but I want a job where I have it based on personal merit not the length of my fucking hair.


In a perfect world…

So you admit to yourself that you could get a better job by simply cutting your hair and beard, but would be too depressed to admit it as truth… I see your confusion…

Sometimes conforming for the sake of bettering your own life outweighs the need for the ego to win… Of course there are other options like myself find a job that you can basically wear your hair and beard in any style… School yourself and become so needed in your field that your appearance is overlooked… But remember there was only one Einstein and he kept himself presentable until after he achieved his fame…

You out of everyone who has responded to this thread have the easiest answer to correct your problem…

Peace

~T~
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#1464 - 11/05/07 09:38 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: ta2zz]
blackdragon31560 Offline
pledge


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 74
Loc: Hell Paso, TX
To Satanism is simply, who your are, so it more self weakness's

hm its not easy for me list my weakness, but there all in process of being improved on. i lack self-reliance, to some point (where i'm living), but i'm working and going to school to change that.

one more is that i loss interest in things fair to easily (which i think is just human, but can do a lot of damage to my overall standing). Like at moment my Current university, i taking a computer programing class's, i've lost interest in it. it's boring and its not something i can see myself doing in the log run. I planning to go back to architecture, i enjoyed its creative input, and can raise my economic standing. i don't know why changed, or do i......

more in traditional satanic weakness, is a lack if athletics. i know i can be in better shape, but with school, work (to help pay for school), and my social life (all of which keep me from posting on the site), well it more like i'm busy living my life, and have no time. most people will just say make time, that is more easily said then done. those still there building or have reached there goal ( though i would think people would have more then one), will be understand more of what i'm talking about.

what else can i say,

BlackDraGon

_________________________
Hatred is gained as much by good works as by evil.

~ Niccolo Machiavelli

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#1466 - 11/06/07 01:50 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: ta2zz]
TornadoCreator Offline
member


Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
 Originally Posted By: ta2zz

Sometimes conforming for the sake of bettering your own life outweighs the need for the ego to win… Of course there are other options like myself find a job that you can basically wear your hair and beard in any style… School yourself and become so needed in your field that your appearance is overlooked… But remember there was only one Einstein and he kept himself presentable until after he achieved his fame…


Exactly what I'm attempting. I'm currently self employed, and by that I really mean unemployed because I have a less than steady income so have to register as unemployed in order to claim enough benefits to live off. I am a web designer, however I am entirely self taught. I am currently doing a HND in 'Computing and IT' (for those than don't know a HND is one step below a Degree (BSc) and takes 3 years to complete at 2 days a week meaning I can still work part time).

When I finish my course I will be able to ignore stupid things like overzealous store managers that refuse to hire good people because they don't like the length of their hair. I just don't have a quick solution to help me for the few years before I'm qualified to demand a high wage in my field.
_________________________
If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

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#1470 - 11/06/07 02:56 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
I have recently decided that altruism is something that satanists should actually be striving to acheive.

Think about it all you hard core philosophers.

It is no longer the 60's.

Is it Saemual?
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#1986 - 11/17/07 08:51 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
sludge grave Offline
stranger


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 7
Loc: Ukraine - Xarkiv
Very intelligent and absolutely great thread indeed.

But sadly what can i say... I fall short in being 20 years old still, in a country i had to migrate to, i depend on others for work, for studying, but imagine it like a cocoon, you are not born independent, i strive to become better, some one who believes in the better self, and the better land.

That what i think is a part of Satanism. To strive for a goal.

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#2074 - 11/20/07 08:13 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
Circus_Hell Offline
stranger


Registered: 09/10/07
Posts: 34
Loc: Sydney Australia
Hmmmmmmmmmm conforming? If it means you can give the appearance of "fitting in" to keep yourself on a good wicket, then have fun with it \:\) I'm sure most of us have done it at least once. ;\)

Create a work persona that works to your benefit, tell them what they want to hear and then on payday and on the weekends, smile about how you're making it work for you \:\) (and have a good laugh at their expense)
_________________________
Too Many Idiots, not enough bullets

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#2075 - 11/20/07 08:20 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Circus_Hell]
Circus_Hell Offline
stranger


Registered: 09/10/07
Posts: 34
Loc: Sydney Australia
Bugger, half of my post was wiped out. I read this and I sound like Dr Phil This is indeed one of the most interesting threads so far, however it has been a very long day. I shall re write as far as I can recall so it makes sense, tomorrow

_________________________
Too Many Idiots, not enough bullets

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#2099 - 11/21/07 12:17 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Circus_Hell]
TornadoCreator Offline
member


Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
Well since my last post in this topic I've been working in a full time job (42 hours a week) in an Abattoir, unfortunately I'll likely have to quit my HND course because of this job though as there simply isn't enough time in the week for me to do 42 hours working and 16 hours in college every week.

I have cracked my self-inflicted counterproductive pride barrier now. I got the hair cut and shave that I was refusing to get for a long time and 'bent' the truth at the interview by simply omitting certain things and emphasizing others. Something I really hate doing as I despise lying, even if it does benefit me. I like to achieve things without having to resort to such methods.

Anyway, I now have a standard weekly job, Monday to Friday. It makes me a part of the infernal bloody machine but I'm actually fucking loving it. Yes it's a shite job with even shiter hours however it's also £900+ basic wage per month after tax, it's actually more but I'm not sure how the shift bonuses are payed. If you add overtime, bank holidays and any Sundays I work then I'm rolling in cash.

Some people may claim that I'm overly happy, after all a job that pays approx. £14,000 ($29,120 USA) is not the best payed job. But I was getting in benefits only £4,200 ($8,736 USA) per year to live off. It's a really big change.

So yeah, I'm not independent of an employer as I was when self employed but that didn't realistically work anyway as the money was unreliable. I am however now independent of 'the system', no longer having to claim irritating benefits that barely cover the cost of living. I can enjoy the free time I have left which is about 70-80 hours a week of free time (sleep already deducted) and I can afford to do what I want with it.

So yeah, everything is now working to my benefit I feel and on top of that, when I go out with my friends I have a sense of pride. Sure it's a shite job that anyone can do, but it's a job. I'm no longer the leach on society that their taxes go towards supporting. A lot can be said for that feeling, and it's a feeling I've longed for for a very long time.
_________________________
If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

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#2103 - 11/21/07 04:03 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
daevid777 Offline
active member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Hell's Pisshole, Texas
So the conforming non-conformist has conformed...

Welcome to the Suck.

Here it is, loud and clear... kiss your ideals goodbye.

Maybe you'll understand what they mean by "money can't buy happiness".

(if there is any confusion on any part... I think I like you TornadoCreator... this was no jab at you, save in jest. I think maybe it's sadness I'm feeling)
_________________________
Where we're going, we don't need roads.

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#2106 - 11/21/07 09:51 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: daevid777]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut
 Originally Posted By: daevid777
Maybe you'll understand what they mean by "money can't buy happiness".


Those who said it apparently had little money... While true happiness can be free... A bit of cash is always a good thing...

~T~
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#2108 - 11/21/07 11:05 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
Asmedious Moderator Offline
Moderator
senior member


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1751
Loc: New York
Congrats TornadoC. I can completely relate to how it sucks to have to conform, but like you said, it's better then relying on public assistance. However, if as you state, you feel positive about the changes that you have made, and have improved your standing in life, then it’s a good thing; at least for the time being.

If I may make one suggestion, what ever you do, do NOT fall for the credit slavery scheme. Now that you have a steady income, it would be very easy to start buying things, and consider paying for them later. It’s an awful trap to fall into, and once you do, you truly become a slave to the “machine.”
I learned this the hard way, and it took me years to get out of it.
_________________________
"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

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#2113 - 11/21/07 03:06 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
Fist Moderator Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 1453
Loc: B'mo Cautious MF
Oh yes! Debt is the surest path to slavery.

Thomas Jefferson had quite a bit to say on the subject. Google Jefferson and debt. Check out this link:

http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quotes_by/thomas+jefferson

It was the first thing to come up on Google.

When in doubt, ask Jefferson...
_________________________
I am the Devil and I am here to do the Devil's work.

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#2114 - 11/21/07 03:41 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Fist]
Asmedious Moderator Offline
Moderator
senior member


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1751
Loc: New York
He had some great words. Here's a few that really hit home.

"We must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. We must make our election between economy and liberty or profusion and servitude. If we run into such debt, as that we must be taxed in our meat and in our drink, in our necessaries and our comforts, in our labors and our amusements, for our calling and our creeds...[we will] have no time to think, no means of calling our miss-managers to account but be glad to obtain subsistence by hiring ourselves to rivet their chains on the necks of our fellow-sufferers... And this is the tendency of all human governments. A departure from principle in one instance becomes a precedent for[ another]... till the bulk of society is reduced to be mere automatons of misery... And the fore-horse of this frightful team is public debt. Taxation follows that, and in its train wretchedness and oppression."


Here's one that is evident today:
"Yes, we did produce a near-perfect republic. But will they keep it? Or will they, in the enjoyment of plenty, lose the memory of freedom? Material abundance without character is the path of destruction."

and the man had balls when he said,

"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear... Do not be frightened from this inquiry from any fear of its consequences. If it ends in the belief that there is no God, you will find incitements to virtue in the comfort and pleasantness you feel in its exercise..."
_________________________
"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

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#2163 - 11/23/07 09:44 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
Fist Moderator Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 1453
Loc: B'mo Cautious MF
Again, ask Jefferson!

He had quite a lot to say on just about everything. He (and his kind) believed in the primacy of the individual. They did not trust govt, banks, churches or other such institutions. They saw man as he was and did not pretend that the great mass of them possessed a noble character.

Among other things, Jefferson penned the Bill of Rights.

Sadly, today our idiot electorate would not vote Jefferson for local dog catcher - much less the POTUS.
_________________________
I am the Devil and I am here to do the Devil's work.

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#2169 - 11/23/07 02:05 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
My main pitfall is laziness--both mental and physical. I need to have a minimum amount of solid sleep to function at my normal level, and if that is interrupted in any sort of way, especially for consecutive nights, I veer towards laziness. And I get really bitchy about it. I find a lack of energy and motivation within myself to clean the house, do laundry, tidy up the cat boxes, the everyday things that simply need to be done, no questions asked. All I want to do is lie around and drift, perchance to sleep. I also don't always have the motivation to be as politically active as I think I should be, especially with so many issues that I feel strongly about (obviously not strongly enough for me to go out and picket or get a petition started).

The laziness extends into my work life as well. Not to say that I'm "lazy", per se--I bust my ass to get the work done and done correctly. What I mean is that I'm sure I could have found a higher paying, more enjoyable job over the years, but nah. I like what I do (for the most part), and I've become very good at it. So that gives me some pride in my work that I have not had in previous jobs. I get to exercise my sense of aesthetics when I make $1000 Prada or Fendi frames with Rx lenses. It's nice to know someone will be wearing my craftmanship everywhere they go, receiving compliments...No one else can seem to do as good of a job as I can with those particular kinds of frames (the rimless drilled ones--they're a bitch to work with), even people that have been with the company for twice as long as I have. It's come to the point when I'm the only one who can be trusted to do certain, high-problem jobs without fucking them up. For instance--a Transition Zeiss GT2 polycarbonate pair of lenses with Teflon anti-reflective coating. The coating is base price $60 (we're a wholesale lab, with opticians as our customers, not the individual consumer), the lenses, on average of $200. You, as the consumer, are going to pay twice and a half of that, so say, $500 for just the lenses. The frame the doctor sends us to mount the lenses into can be gold or silver-plated, with Swarovski crystals on the temples, sometimes a designer brand, like Coach, Fendi, Prada, Cazal, Dolce & Gabbana, Luxottica, etc. Expensive stuff, and some of it very easy to break because of the soft metals. Those kind of frames sell anywhere from $200-$500, sometimes more. A $1000 job we're talking here. When I do them, they come out perfect 95% of the time, with the occasionaly machine malfunction tainting my record. I could easily be a manager, but do I really want the increased responsibility? Is a $1 or 2 an hour really worth the extra hassle? And that's the kind of laziness I'm talking about. I get to a certain point and just say, eh, it's comfy here, why go on? It might cut into my sleep time ;\)
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#2175 - 11/23/07 07:38 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Nemesis]
Dragan Kasimir Offline
stranger


Registered: 11/23/07
Posts: 11
Loc: Denver, CO
This has been an interesting post thus far.

Satanism to me represents one thing above all else, Freedom. The freedom to believe, say, and do exactly what you want, without caring about the “feelings” of those whom would rather be slaves to Political Correctness and Orthodox Mannerism. True Freedom from all social stigmas.

In my case, a lot of people (a certain Church in the North-East) find some of my interests “bad”, and promotes a bad image for them. And I let this get to me. I fail at the “Responsibility to the Responsible” section. I recently partook in a heated debate regarding rather or not I should be free to study and appreciate the topic of dispute – instead of letting the ignorance of their argument fester among themselves and die, I had to feed the Psychic Vampire and defend myself until my eventual “banning” of their forum.

I need to work on letting go of non-winning arguments, instead of believing that I can teach old dogs new tricks. I need to stop wasting energy on people whom do not deserve it.

Anyway, great thread so far, can’t wait to read future posts.

-D. Kasimir
_________________________
“Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways”
- William Shakespeare

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#2182 - 11/23/07 11:18 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Dragan Kasimir]
TornadoCreator Offline
member


Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
I have many friends who don't outright know I'm a Satanist as far as I can tell. I've never gone out of my way to tell them however I also don't hide it. I have Christian, Atheist and Buddhist friends. I also know someone who claims to be Jewish but is a damn Atheist, he just doesn't want to upset the family by telling them he doesn't believe in "ceiling-cat".

I could argue with them about why I ignore religion and why I'm able to live a happy life without religion but it wouldn't be worth it. We would just end up 'agreeing to disagree' which gets us nowhere. I have explained my stance on selfishness and how EVERYTHING I do is for me, even when I help someone it's because I want to because I'll be happier having done it. I tried to explain that true altruism doesn't exist, everything you do for someone else you get something out of it even if it's only a feeling of happiness, that is why you do it. They didn't like this fact because it made them feel less noble and rather than argue they go extremely uncomfortable and started dismissing the conversation outright.

Remember people find our way of thinking difficult because the delusions bring happiness (as most delusions do) and they don't want to let go of that.
_________________________
If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

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#2187 - 11/24/07 05:47 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
undeadridinghood Offline
pledge


Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 72
Loc: Washington State
Hmmm... Where I fail?

Let's see... Well, three things I can think of. One is that often when I try to act satanically, doing little things for myself that make me happy without hurting others, either ends up hurting someone I didn't intend or hurting myself in the long run. It's kind of annoying. Probably would be easier to act the way I want if I were on my own, but I don't have the job to rent the apartment and pay for the bills and maintain the car insurance and the medical insurance and... well, you get the picture.

Second, I really dislike the whole, conforming on the outside to convince others that you are deserving of the things you want, thing. I've done it for so long... and usually I can go for a long time pretending to be someone else, but eventually it overwhelms me. I went to Catholic school for six years, at least three of which I had to try really hard to conform to even social standards and dress code, but even before that, I wasn't Catholic, which made things difficult. I was raised an Episcopalian, which none of my classmates understood. We had to go to Mass once a month where everyone but me was allowed to receive communion, which was embarrassing. Typically, a Catholic receives their first communion in second grade, but before then they cross their arms over their chest and stand in line to receive a blessing from the priest. I had to do the same thing as all of the little kids, which was especially bad in 7th and 8th grade. I wasn't given the option to just stay and sit in the pew or something, which was annoying. I probably would have gotten detention. I was also asked once on the playground, "Episcopalian? What is that? Are you some kind of Bhuddist or something?" Which was funny, but really annoying, because of the ignorance of people who think that there are no other types of Christian besides the one their parents taught them. In more recent events, I wound up giving up a pretty sweet job, almost a dollar more than minimum wage, regular hours, and intellectual stimulation, because I couldn't stand having to pretend to be someone I wasn't. I wanted to dye my hair and wear my piercings and act like myself, but I couldn't. I finally gave up, quit, dyed my hair purple and gaged my earrings to 8s. After a few months the lack of income got too much to bear, so I had to find a new job. The one I have now is even more restrictive, with even less pay and really annoying hours. I only have to work two or three times a week, but it's usually from 6pm to 10 or 11pm, with the next day being at 8am or 9am... and it's always weekends, which really messes up a teenager's social life. I had to work Thanksgiving too, and probably Christmas, though I don't know for certain yet. The biggest problem is that I'm making about half as much money as I used to which is annoying since the hours are so bad, I think I deserve more. But AMC Theaters is a big company, and they don't do raises.

Third, and probably the most Satanic failure, is in relationships. I usually start out as a dominant female with a charismatic personality that draws people to me. As time goes on, however, I become selfless, maternal, and clingy, the only way I was ever taught to be in a relationship. My mother was like that, her mother was like that, and all of my female friends are like that. It just doesn't work, especially when the guys who are drawn to your independence and dominance realize that you can ALSO be submissive, servile, and dependent. I let my happiness get tied up too tightly with the happiness of others. Then I get broken up with and feel like I've failed somehow, even when it's entirely their fault...

So I suppose that's all I can think of.

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#2220 - 11/25/07 12:10 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: undeadridinghood]
Morgan Offline
Princess of Hell
stalker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 2956
Loc: New York City
I think you are really brave to post about the failures in relationships. It's always hard to admit that, and I have the same problem. Men sometimes only want to see the strong and dominate qualities you have, but once you let your guard down, and just be willing to go that extra length for them its over.

That is just the problem with being a strong woman, satanic or not. You can't stop being the fantasy, once you do its over. Its something I had to learn again the hard way recently.

One of my other failures is that I have no patience. When I choose to, I work hard to make things happen, and I expect results. I dont like to see failure, or fail at things. Thus, sometimes I just don't know when to give up on a bad idea.

Fuck it all,

Morg
_________________________
Courage Conquering Fear
Fuck em if they can't take a joke
Don't Like What I Say, Kiss My Ass



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#2225 - 11/25/07 01:05 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Morgan]
TornadoCreator Offline
member


Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
Well, I'm unsure as to whether this is a failing or a success on my part but I'll explain the situation.

I have a few friends who are Christian. One of them in particular is quite devout and the discussion on the "Creationism is a science" laws passed in Georgia came up. I mentioned it in disgust at them degrading science and one of my friends responded by saying "Kill them all... now!" so as you could tell we where like minded. I went on to say how I don't consider Creationism anything more than a fucking insult, it's just religions way of trying to force it's way into the American schools.

Once I mentioned my standpoint my Christian friend jumped in to defend Creationists and proved to me just how narrow-minded he truly is. I didn't realise quite how blind and unreasonable he is when discussing such things, very nearly getting violent at one point when I said (and I quote).

"Creationist Theory is a nothing more than a method the church put in place to devalue the word 'Theory' and invade the education system in an attempt to debunk science, all because they see it as a threat to the brainwashing delusions they are trying to pass on to the children in America. Creationism is not a science, it's not a theory, it's barely a hypothesis. All it is is an idea pulled out of someones ass and reworded in a manner that sounds scientific. Quite frankly I find it as an insult and anyone considering it to have any merit is a fucking idiot."

I may have caused a friendship to become rather shaky here but I believe I have identified a weakness in it anyway. More and more I'm beginning to think less of some of my friends as I see them pandering to the ridicules rules and regulations in the scripture that is for some reason considered sacred. It worries me that my friends can be so weak willed, especially the one in question here who can't even bring him self to roleplay a non-religious character in a World Of Darkness or D&D game (I mean seriously, he only plays Clerics in D&D).

What do people think? Am I being to critical or is it a good idea to be judging my friends based on the religious actions I'm witnessing. It's not extravagant and it's rarely bothersome to me but it's beginning to make me seriously consider them to be beneath me, to the point where I'm starting to want to treat them as such.
_________________________
If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

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#2231 - 11/25/07 06:19 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
Six String God Offline
stranger


Registered: 11/23/07
Posts: 8
Loc: Michigan
 Originally Posted By: TornadoCreator


What do people think? Am I being to critical or is it a good idea to be judging my friends based on the religious actions I'm witnessing. It's not extravagant and it's rarely bothersome to me but it's beginning to make me seriously consider them to be beneath me, to the point where I'm starting to want to treat them as such.


It's hard to say, i have friends that are religious and do better than me, but that has nothing to do with there ideology though. If they push there beliefs onto you, then i wouldn't waste my time with them.

None of my religious friends push their faith onto me, the know I'm athiest(not satanic) and we fun times. I consider one of them above me in life achievement, and self actualization.

{I mentioned it in disgust at them degrading science and one of my friends responded by saying "Kill them all... now!" }

Now thats bull. I wouldn't deal with that at all.

Anyways, my flaws are i like to sleep too much, I'm an overall sloth, and I've messed up many chances towards self improvement(and I have had many chances)

should have stayed in school, i guess, It doesn't mean i still can't be successful with time and work.








Edited by Six String God (11/25/07 06:20 AM)

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#2234 - 11/25/07 09:05 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Six String God]
Fist Moderator Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 1453
Loc: B'mo Cautious MF
Morgan and undeadridinghooh,

Relationships could use it's own thread, but...

As a keen observer of the human scene, I think your problem may very well be the sort of men you are seeking out.

My wife is a very dominant, Type A, Alpha Female in every sense. Many have seen her not as a person but as a force of nature. However... in our relationship there is no mistaking who the man is. She is fully an equal partner but in many cases we simply have defined duties and responsibilities. There are some tasks that her job, some that are my job, and some that both of perform but in general one or the other is better at.

As you may know, children receive their sexual role modeling from what they see in the home. My dad was a bad ass. He was a good guy, in fact at his funeral everyone who knew him (and most of them knew him better than me) said that he was 'The Good Guy.' But, in every sense he was a bad ass - sort comic book character or cowboy hero out of a Spaghetti Western. He was a man out of time in a world that was recovering from the Age of Aquarius. And for everything wrong with him, he did teach 'man lessons.'

One of the problem of the typical metrosexual modern urban male, is that he never received any 'man lessons.' He was raised by his mother and dad was either not on the scene or he was fully neutered. And, this may be singly the blight of every woman of the modern age - a nearly total lack of real men. Too many boys today do not know how to act like men. To compound the problem, many of them look at movies and MTV for their male behavior modeling. This simply leads to a sorry nihilistic, misogynistic, and irresponsible sort of behavior. They miss one of the first very basic man lessons "Son, you have responsibilities."

Girls are stuck with a similar problem. They also do not know what a real man looks like. Sadly, far too many simply equate an fully erect man with a 'stand-up guy.' They are then confused when the men don't act like they are 'suppose' to. And in the rare instance when they find a real man, they usually don't know what to do with him. Remember, men are not women. He is not one of your girlfriends and while he will be your best friend he CANNOT be your girlfriend.

In any event, this whole 'lack of real men' phenomenon is one of my favorite subjects because of it's PROFOUND consequences for the Western World. If you have any specific questions I would love to address them point by point. I will end it here pending any feedback.
_________________________
I am the Devil and I am here to do the Devil's work.

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#2236 - 11/25/07 10:47 AM On Matters Of Spirit [Re: TornadoCreator]
Dakindas Offline
stranger


Registered: 10/20/07
Posts: 24
Loc: The Web
To me there are two types of mainstream theists (although that term might not exactly be the most accurate).

Those who breathe the 'spirit of god' and understand and accept criticism of the various church hierarchies, observed traditions, popular creationism, dogma.

And those who think that 'insert guru here' is the one true way to 'insert meaning of life here' and all who refuse or fail in organised religious observances and traditions are doomed to some kind of 'insert horrible and often eternal consequence here'.

This actually applies to more than just Christianity, i know Muslims and Hindus who fit both categories as well.

The former category are some of the most honorable and noble creatures i know. Many of them, that i know, in their words, consider me a child of 'insert prefered diety/force' here. A label, that from them, i accept with clear and mutual understanding.

The latter category are obviously more intellectually and/or emotionally inclined and fail to glean the core 'spiritual truths' from their faith. They are simple minded people typically.

(When i say intellectually inclined i don't mean intelligent - i mean more dogmatically inclined, more fretful of not 'doing the right thing' which they tend to judge from outside themselves rather than from within. The good pupil syndrome. Yes sir, yes sir, do i get an A+?, Am i a good person yet? Will i get the reward?

Well meaning they might be, but weak in many aspects they are in my view.)

The easiest way to find out which is which - i'll use a christian example for convenience - is to ask them if honor, respect, integrity, honesty, courage, consent are the highest goals and that all else is essentially trivia, tradition and/or tribalism, when 'matters of the spirit' are concerned.

Those who agree, you'll find, will, if you also consider such things as virtues, accept your Atheism, agnosticism, Satanism or any other philosophy or religion which you identify with.

Those who will tell you that 'going to church' or 'being baptised' or 'praying to god' or 'accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior' are more fundamentally important than honor, respect, integrity, courage, consensual cooperation etc, as you can see, and many themselves will struggle with when you make such a distinction clear, are quite obviously and demonstratably missing the point.

I'm sure those reading here are quite well versed in arguing and condemning the latter. A bore and a cliche it has become to many.

Getting back to my sweeping generalisation or astute truism (depending on your experience) there is also a third kind; the arrogant, condescending, 'my way is the right way and you're a doomed idiot' elitist kind.

Hypocrites.

Actually the Peter Gabriel song "Big Time" sums them up nicely.

In fact, they might like the parts of the Satanic Bible i myself reject.

Another tangent, it's come up a fair bit here, in various posts, an expression of wasted energy on those who lack the eyes to see and the ears to hear. Those who are closed and lost in their 'Plato's Cave'. The bewildering distaste and frustration they inspire.

Every time i read these expressions i think of this line,

". . . Cast ye (not) your pearls before swine . . ."

Here is wisdom.

And for Six String God, are you actually lazy or do you simply find yourself out of rhythm with the majority, work, school, always rushing around, fussing over trivia, keeping up appearances and being pulled this way and that, grudgingly, by little more than a sense of obligation?

Is it that you simply can't be fucked with all that because you prioritise a different set of values?

I might be guilty of some 'projektion' here but i only ask because your 'confession of sloth' didn't seem to be genuine.

By this i mean to say that it sounds like those closest to you yet most unlike you (family, i'm guessing) consider you lazy or unproductive and worry for you as you're not quite the 'accessory' they want you to be. . .

If so, is that your problem or theirs?

PS: Fist, good post!
_________________________
Qui Bono?

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#2259 - 11/25/07 10:59 PM Re: On Matters Of Spirit [Re: Dakindas]
TornadoCreator Offline
member


Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
I think I'm just getting irritated that I'm considering my friends to be intellectually inferior to me. I had a good and very well thought out debate with two of my friends, one of whom is a Christian and one is Agnostic (honestly I think he's Atheist but just "playing it safe" in case he has it wrong and can thus get in God's good books, he'll come round, most do). This debate was on Evolution and Creationism, they both claim Creationism is a valid theory, I say it's a pile of fucking pigswill. When I said give me evidence for Creationism as a theory the Christian of the two said simply "Genesis" which made me want to fucking hit him honestly.

In the end we discussed in depth the Biology behind Evolution and they came up with many problems and questions yet unanswered by Evolution and I agree that Evolution as a theory doesn't explain many things which may show in time that the current theory of Evolution is not entirely true and will require changing. This comes with science, science is fluid, it changes with new evidence appearing all the time. Although they agree that Evolution has scientific merit (they are doing Biology and Ecology degrees so they're both quite well schooled in this department), neither of them was prepared to agree that Evolution was more scientifically valid than Creationism. It annoyed me that one of my friends was letting his faith blind him against science and the other was refusing to take the Atheist stance in case he offended the Christian.

Religion pisses me off. It's a plague on this planet and it needs to be eradicated. Unfortunately it appears as though people I care about have been infected and is upsets and sickens me.
_________________________
If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

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#2268 - 11/26/07 03:42 AM Re: On Matters Of Spirit [Re: Dakindas]
Six String God Offline
stranger


Registered: 11/23/07
Posts: 8
Loc: Michigan
darkindas,

Some of your points are correct. I am out of rhythm, yes with the family and world, but with my self(less here lately). some kin would be totally fucked without me. i look out for my sisters kid as if they where mine, i sit the kids while their parents work, they give me a few bucks, they really have no one else. it no more than a few day of a week for a few hours. they've know the way i am, they help me, i help them.

although,

my mother, and grandparents expected, and wanted more of(or more from) me. yes i may have had a great high paying job by know, but i wouldn't have spent countless hours aquiring knowlegde of a little bit of everything.

let's just say i have desires that get in the way of other desires.


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#2303 - 11/26/07 08:27 PM Re: On Matters Of Spirit [Re: Six String God]
rob_church Offline
member


Registered: 11/02/07
Posts: 194
Loc: alberta , canada
hmmmmmmm where do i fail really their is a few areas that needs work ,my lack of empathy for the herd i feel nothing for them,and go so far as to find it humours when some drunk kid wraps his daddys car around a pole, i used to consider this a strength until stag on the old forum used the words lack of emotional intellgence and this sunk deep to me as i realzied not being able to connect emotionally to these unknown people, feel pity for them was actually a weakness,this of course doesnt mean i dont care deeply aobut thouse i am close to,just sally no name that their having a candlelight vigil for.

now of my chocies in life their are only 2 i regret. one is when i chose to go crazy and went on anti pychotics then decide to go off them and in turn have been sick every day scicne then
wich has affected alot of things in my life mainly the quailty of my life as waking up sick as a dog every day puts a damper on the fun things of life, it has affected my self image as i choose to not work out anymore their for im not as buff and no longer the threat i used to be i did try to work out a few time lol after i was done i layed on the floor for a good 45 minutes as the world spun aorund me manged to crawl to the toilent and puke and hang out their for a while after a few time of that i realzed i did not want it bad enought to suffer thougtht that every time, ,all my life i have been an alpha and with the might and violence and manipulation skillz to back it up,

(when i was allowed back into my my district for grade nine after being banned for life in grade 5 right befor i was banned i had to have an adult with me at all times to be allowed on their proprty as iw as a danger to other students. i totaly milked it to, throw a desk at some one go for a walk hang out and talk to this fellow while class was going on.the same is true of when they allwoed me back into the district for grade nine as i was considered a threat to the other students, i had that town in such fear when you walk the halls in grade nine and the halls part even grade 12 moving out of your way .have you ever felt that kind of power? it was addictive that power, i remeber i walked up to a girl in grade nine to talk and she started crying this is how much fear, of course when everyone fears you your social life goes down the tubes and as i left that town to move to calgary with my wife in my 20s my reputation was finally starting to die)my life the resons i went to foster homes was all my choices ie banned form district had to go to salmon arm for school but i do not regret any of that i felt power that most people do not in a life time and got it out of my system at a young age and grew alot from it.
now i focus alot more on charming and manipulation insted of fear tatics

second regret on my freinds birthday we went to a very crowed bar jammed with people and as i was walking some one pushed me from the side and bit behind i saw 4 guys out the corner of my eye and i just kept walking, by the time i finally decide to do sompthing aobut it the crowd had swallowed them up. why dint i just attack the minute i was pushed!! in the time i was deciding whether to attack i resoned to my self it was an accidnet but i know that it was not, i have always be an eye for an eye destroy those that oppose you person. even when im startled my first reaction is to attack,and for some godamm reason this time i did not attack i just kept walking and it pisses me off to this day, perahps its me growing knowing that it was my freinds birthday and me attakcing these fellow would not equl a fun birthday for her.

that is really my 2 regrets in life

after writing this it seems i need to work on letting things go that i can not change either.
_________________________
http://www.sintheticgraphics.com

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#2834 - 12/20/07 09:31 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
Raven Offline
stranger


Registered: 12/20/07
Posts: 12
To start off I am not a satanist, but I do strive towards ambition and to see how this world works. For me I work at the root of things like most individuals and then work my way up taking whatever expierences I learn with me. You say to be a master of this earth, first you must be a master of yourself thats true but that involves exploiting end to end of your soul as well including emotions from happiness to despair to have those emotions recognized and truly choose a path for yourself.

I believe domination is inferior to learning from all there is, like a library is to the internet, either in closed doors or your up for anything. Everyone has their own reasons to truly have control over themselves perhaps that is why so many label themselves as satanists to even have that self sense of security to have them labeled or even a title to be taken granite.

Think about this ambition can over go as far as what you truly think this life is for, you want the best and others have done in the past as emperors/conquerors have, learn from this, more than just what history can tell but live to experience and learn, their is emotion to control when appropriate not abused, b/c the differenc ebetween blinding anger and dellusional is pretty much there.

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#2841 - 12/21/07 06:29 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Raven]
Morgan Offline
Princess of Hell
stalker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 2956
Loc: New York City
This is a post about recognizing personal failure.
Raven, what do you feel is your own personal shortcomings...

Btw, I don't think it matters if you are a satanist or not, as long as you dont push your own personal religious propaganda.

enjoy,
Morgan
_________________________
Courage Conquering Fear
Fuck em if they can't take a joke
Don't Like What I Say, Kiss My Ass



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#2941 - 12/26/07 10:40 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Morgan]
Raven Offline
stranger


Registered: 12/20/07
Posts: 12
What do I feel is my own personal shortcoming? I wouldn't know because technically failing in one way leads to a completely different path in another way, completely failing is impossible b/c it really depends on your choices but if I had to make a personal statement to recognize weakness within myself I suppose it would be the inability to recognize the limits of my potential (regardless of what egotistical statement this may sound, others could take it as unknown)

Also that is true whether I am satanic or not but just to let the reader have little insight to my way of thinking, cause some thoughts could be portrayed in different titles so to say.

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#2948 - 12/27/07 05:31 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Raven]
daevid777 Offline
active member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Hell's Pisshole, Texas
So you have decided to say nothing... and a great amount of nothing has been said. Nicely done.

Let's get on to the next, please...?
_________________________
Where we're going, we don't need roads.

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#2951 - 12/27/07 10:38 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: daevid777]
Raven Offline
stranger


Registered: 12/20/07
Posts: 12
I don't recognize weakness, especially post of my so to say short comings because they are only temporary misplacements so to say, especially when discussing with others so to me it would be wise to refrain that sort of information, no one can be perfect no matter how hard we try and when we try we are nothing but a shell of our former selves.

If you would have read to understand what I was hinting towards david you may have recognized it.

Then again I couldn't be as wise as you..

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#2955 - 12/27/07 01:59 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Raven]
Morgan Offline
Princess of Hell
stalker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 2956
Loc: New York City
SO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS THAT YOU CHOOSE NOT TO SHARE YOUR FAILURES, SHORTCOMINGS, OR FAULTS.

Thus.....

WHY BOTHER TO RESPOND TO THE THREAD????


ARGHHH, I hate when fucking people post to see their names and numbers change.

Verbal diarrehea, is still a waste of reading space.

What a way to kill an interesting, thought provoking, and sharing thread.

Thanks Raven....
_________________________
Courage Conquering Fear
Fuck em if they can't take a joke
Don't Like What I Say, Kiss My Ass



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#2956 - 12/27/07 04:57 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Morgan]
Raven Offline
stranger


Registered: 12/20/07
Posts: 12
I guess you could count that as a short-coming lol...
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#3194 - 01/07/08 04:38 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Raven]
Rainy Offline
stranger


Registered: 01/05/08
Posts: 11
Loc: US Florida Tampa Bay
This is the first topic I have compelled enough with to post my own respone to...I am interested to see what type of response I get...


I am a bit torn on deciding exactly what qualifies as a weakness as far as striving to live the way a satanist is "supposed to live", or aleast attempt to follow the basic principals of Satanism.

There are certainly things which I feel I don't do as well at as I would like. One thing is that I feel that I spread myself out too far, in terms of perfecting a craft. I am a creative person, and I love to create things. I feel like I could have, at this point, been more sucessful in my life if I would just pick one thing, and stick with it. I paint, then I move onto sculpting, then I try sewing, then I expirement with book binding, writing, and so on. I try so hard to learn and stretch my abilities to the point the I dont feel like I have really gotten as good as I could at any one thing. But as much as I think that this may have held me back and I get disapointed with myself, I also feel like maybe this isnt such a bad trait, since I am atleast constantly expanding my knowledge of different arts. So am I really hurting myself by limiting my own sucess in this way, or am I just indulging in whatever stikes my fancy at any given time therefore making myself happy and improving my scope? It depends on the day, I suppose.

Another thing I feel I show weakness is my smoking habit. I recently began smoking again after quitting while I was pregnant. I smoke like a freakin chimney, just like I did before I had the bun in the oven. I dont smoke anywhere near my child, and I wash my hands and all do all those other good things to keep the poison away from the babe, so I feel no guilt in that respect. But when he isnt around, or is sleeping, I just puff away. I really like smoking, I can honestly say, although I am well aware part of it is the addiction telling me how much I like it. I am logical about it, I know its killing me, I know its expensive, and unhealthy, etc. I also can say that I enjoy the act of smoking, the idea that it is purely selfish and indulgent is appealing to me. I have to be pretty selfless as I get older. Being married with child requires that you put your famliy first, however, I feel like smoking is my own selfish thing that I do for no other reason than because I enjoy it. at the same time, I feel like I m doing my family a disservice by possibly depriving them of myself if these things do kill me later on in life, and knowing my husband doesnt smoke and probably isnt too keen that I do makes me feel a bit bad about it. So I have 2 logical ways of looking at it. Again I am torn here.

I also have this unrepressable urge to forgive people which are not always deserving of forgiveness. If someone wrongs me, I get mad, I show them that I do not approve in whichever way deems appropriate for the situation. But for some reason, I cannot hold onto those negative feelings required to hold a grudge. I cant help but remember times when I myself acted in such a way as to cause emotional harm to someone (I have yet to harm anyone physically), only to learn from my mistake, figure out what went wrong, and pretty much not do it again. I cant help but assume others have the same dialogue within themselves, and therefore feel as though they probably werent truely aware of what they did and have learned for their mistakes. I cannot fault someone for making a mistake they didnt know they were making at the time. Mostly though, people are too stupid or careless to actually learn or give a damn that they did something wrong. I know this on the surface, but deep down I dont hold many people in contempt, even when I know I should. I respect people who are not worthy of respect. This is a pretty definate weakness. I dont have too much confusion on this one. I just cant stay mad at people. I do try to simply remove these folks from my life when the offense occurs nowadays, therefore I wont be faced with the knowledge that I am being too forgiving, since they will mostly likely not contact me in the future anyway. At this point, I think I have about 3 friend left. Ha.

So thats what I can come up with at this particular moment. I know I have more faults than this, for sure. But not too many are "non-satanic", I would say. I dont think being too lazy to dye my roots again quailifies for this thread.
_________________________
My signature is better than your signature.

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#3199 - 01/07/08 10:35 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Rainy]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

 Originally Posted By: Rainy
So am I really hurting myself by limiting my own sucess in this way, or am I just indulging in whatever stikes my fancy at any given time therefore making myself happy and improving my scope? It depends on the day, I suppose.

Very well said… To think we are beyond human is a mistake…

 Quote:
I dont smoke anywhere near my child, and I wash my hands and all do all those other good things to keep the poison away from the babe, so I feel no guilt in that respect.

What about when they smoke due to seeing mommy smoking? After all mommy does it then it is ok no?

 Quote:
I am logical about it, I know its killing me, I know its expensive, and unhealthy, etc. I also can say that I enjoy the act of smoking, the idea that it is purely selfish and indulgent is appealing to me.

I agree with you there, to each his/her own vice…

 Quote:
I feel like I m doing my family a disservice by possibly depriving them of myself if these things do kill me later on in life, and knowing my husband doesnt smoke and probably isnt too keen that I do makes me feel a bit bad about it. So I have 2 logical ways of looking at it. Again I am torn here.

We all have to die, of something… Somehow picking your own poison is ok with me…

 Quote:
I also have this unrepressable urge to forgive people which are not always deserving of forgiveness.

Did this come with being a mom?

 Quote:
If someone wrongs me, I get mad, I show them that I do not approve in whichever way deems appropriate for the situation. But for some reason, I cannot hold onto those negative feelings required to hold a grudge.

Perhaps the things that get you mad are truly trivial and you treat them as such… If someone were to do something terrible to you and your action was to turn the other cheek… Well then that is a weakness…

Forgiving the common imbecile when that is really the only thing to do, could be seen as a strength not a weakness…

 Quote:
I cant help but remember times when I myself acted in such a way as to cause emotional harm to someone (I have yet to harm anyone physically), only to learn from my mistake, figure out what went wrong, and pretty much not do it again. I just cant stay mad at people. I do try to simply remove these folks from my life when the offense occurs nowadays, therefore I wont be faced with the knowledge that I am being too forgiving, since they will mostly likely not contact me in the future anyway.

Well limiting how you act out of fear of making a mistake could be seen as a very large weakness…

 Quote:
I cant help but assume others have the same dialogue within themselves, and therefore feel as though they probably werent truely aware of what they did and have learned for their mistakes. I cannot fault someone for making a mistake they didnt know they were making at the time. Mostly though, people are too stupid or careless to actually learn or give a damn that they did something wrong.

Now your touch on the major difference between them and us… We should be smart enough to learn from our mistakes…

 Quote:
At this point, I think I have about 3 friend left. Ha.

Three friends are worth much more than numerous acquaintances…

Peace

~T~
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#3200 - 01/07/08 11:31 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: ta2zz]
L Fern Tej Offline
pledge


Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 65
Loc: Las Vegas, NV. (u.s.)
my turn

Dear diary,
i've always had this image in my mind of a satanist being determined, goal achieving, individuals.
yet, if you glanced at my "myspace" profile even for a second you'd see where i fall short.
i seem to care far to much about my appearance and what people think about me, so much so that it directly affects my life and puts my future in parrell.
academicly i've failed just about every grade since the 1st grade...not untill last year have i been held back.
i'm repeating the 9th grade, and i'm positive i'm failing this current semster as well.
Believe me, i'm no half-wit, i'd actually consider myself above magnet school material (but find myself in lower end classes).

well if im so concerned with improving my grades and getting to a decent college why not just start caring less about how im judged by the social fabric of the world around me and start caring more about how im judged academicly?
it's a simple matter of the fact that i have always been this way since i was a weeeeee little lad. (5 or 6 yrs. old) and i cant just go about changing my state of mind without completely changing myself.
which is something i'm not willing to do.
it doesn't help any that i'm extremely lazy as well ;p

i've always admired satanist because they seem so accomplished and of such sound reason, and these 2 areas my good people, are where i fall short.

im no satanist though mainly because i don't feel like one, nor do I agree with satanist on some priciples consequently, this is just 1 of many reasons where i fail not only at satanist standards, but to mine as well.



Edited by L Fern Tej (01/07/08 11:45 PM)
Edit Reason: choice better words

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#3201 - 01/07/08 11:34 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: ta2zz]
Rainy Offline
stranger


Registered: 01/05/08
Posts: 11
Loc: US Florida Tampa Bay
I didnt touch on the idea of showing my son that smoking is OK by my own example. I do realize that this is a possibility. I also feel that by his father not smoking, he is even more likely to question why I do. Why does Mom smoke but not Dad? Why is Mom hacking up a lung, while Dad seems pretty healthy? Also, simply telling a child whats healthy and not healthy is a more preventative measure than most people give credit. I know that if my mother had just talked to me even once when I was young about not smoking, even though she does, I probably wouldnt have started. I really cant say for sure what direction that will go, but it is on my list of reasons why I feel smoking goes against some of my principals.

I do not get mad over trival things. It is pretty hard to get me mad, actually. I wouldnt say I ever turn the other cheek, but I am pretty thick skined. The small things people do that are annoying dont get me worked up enough to be truely angry. I just know that small things arent worth the energy it takes to become upset. I also dont limit how I act out of fear of making a mistake. I act as comes naturally, and if a mistake becomes apparent, it is my responibility to myself to try to learn from it. If the action that caused me to make said mistake turns out to be worth the consequences, then, well, fuck it. I will do it again if it seems worth it. But I wont be able to determine if this is the case unless I have that dialogue inside. And I (usually wrongfully) assume that other people also question themselves in this way. Thats where I end up being to forgiving.

And yes, 3 true friends are far more valuable than numerous acquaintances. And it makes life alot easier the fewer people you know.
_________________________
My signature is better than your signature.

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#3206 - 01/08/08 07:14 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Rainy]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
I think that the chances are pretty good that if one of his parents does not smoke, he won't either. That's the way it was between my parents--mom smoked, dad didn't. I have not once in my life wanted to start up smoking. My dad always reinforced the idea that smoking is horrible for you, and since I always had a hard time breathing around my smoking mother, it was an idea I came to believe in as well. You also seem to be considerate of your child's health, and hold that above your desire to smoke all the time, which is always a good thing.
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#7398 - 04/07/08 07:23 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Nemesis]
DistroyA Offline
member


Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 478
Loc: Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, UK
I think my shortcomings lie within me putting things off when they need doing, being too cowardly when having to face certain responsibilities, being confused about what I want out of life, not thinking rationally, counter-productive pride and being easily distracted.

I really need to sort these issues out very soon, as I'm finding life somewhat less satisfying.
_________________________
"A man chooses, a slave obeys." - Andrew Ryan of Ryan Industries (Bioshock)

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#7427 - 04/08/08 05:11 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
Succubus666 Offline
member


Registered: 10/17/07
Posts: 161
I have always been a completely self-reliant person and despise the idea of being controlled by anyone or anything that stems beyond the absolute necessities of life. Aside from a part-time job I had when I was sixteen years old, I have always had an income and a life that revolved around working for myself. I own my own business and have the luxury of doing something I deeply enjoy, and I use the term “luxury” with consideration of the fact that I would not settle for anything less. But the fact of the matter is that being self-employed is somewhat over-glamorized and there are many things going on behind the scenes which can sometimes tie you down in a way that seems to actually mimic the restrictions you would face if you actually worked for a larger entity.

There is still work that needs to be done and people who depend on your services, and if you are a person with any self-respect it will only bring you misery if you allow yourself to significantly fail either. While most of the people you deal with may be sane or even pleasant, there are still a handful of mentally impaired morons and self-righteous assholes that think the world revolves around them and their immediate wants. No matter what you choice of employment, there will always be the odd scumbag that comes along that turns an otherwise enjoyable job into a temporary nightmare.

So what I’m trying to tell you is that you shouldn’t necessarily be so hard on yourself. Speaking as someone on the other side of the fence, I can tell you that the grass is not always greener on the other side. You also happen to live in a country where health care is not cheap and I’m guessing that if you were in fact self employed you would lose a lot of the benefits (thus costing you more money in the long term) that you now enjoy. You talk about “having to play the obedient sheep and follow the whims of many different managers and bosses,” but at the end of the day whether you’re self employed or not, there’s still a pile of work that needs to be done and a long line of being wanting to be pleased.

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#7428 - 04/08/08 05:37 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Succubus666]
Asmedious Moderator Offline
Moderator
senior member


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1751
Loc: New York
Thank you for the insight.
_________________________
"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

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#7440 - 04/09/08 10:14 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
PigFeeder Offline
member


Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 294
Loc: Near Montreal, QC
Hmm, I really liked this thread. Grats to you Asmedious for thinking of this. ;\)

Now I think my two main faults are: I'm too laid back, and I'm too nice.

Now not to say that Satanists in general are not nice, but I'm too nice at times to take what I want. To take what would better my life. combine that with the fact that my main philosophy would be "Time heals everything" which, I know as well as anyone is not true. But I continue to be laid back and relax, and continually make choices that do not better myself but instead, gradually put things off. Such as things as simple as; if I have homework or a paper to write and theres a party, I almost always will choose the party, procrastinating and putting things off until they need to be done.

The fact that I am too nice has also hindered my own progress many more times than I can count. An example is that I forgive way to easily and the famous quote " Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." comes into play. I forgive and I give up my own pleasures for others. If I have 5$ for lunch after class and a friend of mine forgot there money. I am usually more than glad to give them the money so that they can eat. Only thing is, I end up losing out for it.

Although I am gradually fixing my faults, they are still there. I am more to the point where I'm on a balance of not giving too much and giving just enough. Being just enough nice, and being just the right amount of relaxed. I'm getting better at knowing when I should lay back and relax, and when I should get to work. I suppose this is coming to me in age though. You learn as you grow.

As to the working for the government and for other people being satanic.. Well.

My point of view is that no matter what we do, we are always working for someone else. But in the end we are working for our own benifit. To live and to earn money to live. Our main goal is to help ourselves, but we inevitably work to help out society.

Anyway I'm heading out, be back later guys.

~~ Snow ~~.
_________________________
For all murderers, I am the leader.
Forever, Rob, The 49 PigFeeder.
NecroMantic Sin.

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#7446 - 04/09/08 07:16 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
Octavius Offline
member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 561
Loc: just visiting
"Kindness to those who deserve it..." - Anton LaVey

There's nothing wrong with kindness. The dark facade that most Satanists seem to think is required is often nothing more than posturing. As to charity, there is no act of kindness that is completely selfless. Even if you give your broke pal 5 bucks for lunch, he is now indebted to you, both financially, as well as within your social order if you play your cards right. You've shown you have disposable money whereas he has none, thus (probably subconsciously) elevating his opinion of you on some level. Now, keep in mind there is a big difference between a "sap" who goes around lending money to chums in order to try and kiss up, and giving someone money in order to secure his view of you as a superior. You'll need to compose yourself appropriately, and keep his debt to you in the forefront of his mind until repaid.

There is much more on this in many books, two of which I've recommended to you, Snow, in another post. Indeed, kindness to those who deserve it, but never without personal benefit. Whether that benefit is truly based on mutual respect and deep friendship, or in memetic motive. Either way, you get a warm fuzzy feeling...you win.

Octavius
_________________________
So long, and thanks for all the fish.

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#7449 - 04/09/08 10:49 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Octavius]
Asmedious Moderator Offline
Moderator
senior member


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1751
Loc: New York
Sometimes one just helps friends out because they don't want to see them in a tight spot. But yes, I do have to agree, that every act is a selfish act, if one is able to be completely honest with oneself. As Octavius said, even if it's to get that "warm and fuzzy" feeling.

Edited by Asmedious (04/09/08 10:50 PM)
_________________________
"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

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#7459 - 04/10/08 08:31 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Octavius]
PigFeeder Offline
member


Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 294
Loc: Near Montreal, QC
True, what you say does make a lot of sense. I really have to get a hold of those books. ;\) I've actually already asked somone if they have them and they're looking around there files for an online version. PDS file I do believe? The extension escapes my memory.

Id don't do things for others so that they feel indebted to me, I don't do it kiss up either. I'm not even sure why, I think it's because I hate to see others in distress. But I should be worrying about me. "Rise above all else, even yourself". Here's an example:

Theres this girl in one of my classes who sits near me. She's always been a bitch to me and countless times I've wished she was dead. One incident in which I wished this was when she almost got me expelled. I was sowing my bag for my books in class ( Don't ask lol. >_< Was bored. ) and she yells out that I have a weapon. A sowing needle... To purposefully get me in trouble. I am generally a quiet nice guy, so I don't know what her problem is with me. Maybe she feels intimidated because I dress darker than most others. I wanted to take that needle and stab her in the eye with it though. A few days later shes in class and she's complaining about a migraine and basically wincing in pain. So I reach into my bag and pull out my last advil for her and give her my unopened bottle of water. She gives the water back and says thanks. The very next day I was writing something in class when everyone was listening and the proffessor walks up to the front of the desks and asks me what I could be writing, and this girl yells out It's a suicide note. And she starts laughing along with everyone else. So I gathered my stuff calmly and quietly and left. See the thing is with me, I'm generally respected because of who I am. People are in a way afraid of me because they know I can fight and because most of them think I'm crazy. 95% of the guys where I go will back down from a fight with me. But women, that's different. 90% of the women I meet like me for who I am and respect me because as I said, in general, I'm a nice person. But the other 10% for some reason dislike me and seem to make my life a living hell. So my problem is I'm still to nice to people even if they aren't nice to me. I don't think of stuff when I do things like give the girl and Advil, I just do it. Like an impulse. Any helpful adivice?


P.S. Like any other animal on the planet, humans are no different. Nobody will bother me when alone and they will even be nice to me. But in a group they feel stronger and have to prove themselves, so that's where the shit starts.
_________________________
For all murderers, I am the leader.
Forever, Rob, The 49 PigFeeder.
NecroMantic Sin.

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#7464 - 04/10/08 06:26 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
rob_church Offline
member


Registered: 11/02/07
Posts: 194
Loc: alberta , canada
that is when you have a talk to them one on one then pigfeeder,
you could resort to violence make an example of one of them, or manipulation, befriend to destroy them, keep your friends close but your enemy closer. either way if they feel stronger when they are a group attack them individually, spread lies about them try to destroy this core group if you dont want to resort to violence.i never had your problem as i was 100 percent feared the only things people said was in my absence. they would not dare say it to my face but going down that road has its downsides as well, mainly your social life will suffer. when the halls part as you walk through sure it is an awsome feeling but trying to get laid and shit becomes alot harder when you are feared to that extent. i would suggest a few paths.befriend one of them just mimic,charm,be what they want to see at least personalty wise.then destroy them internally or actually be friend them and use them as an ally. or find the alpha of the group and get them alone.make sure their alone or their pride will come into play. be prepared to hurt this perosn.now you can use intimidation or just flat out violence.either way inspire fear.better that you don't use violence and can just intimidate them, threaten them with violence and they will think twice before publicly attacking you if you inspire enough fear before hand.

either way you have to put a stop to this. the key is get them alone, many are big and tough in the mob mentality but get them alone its a different story.nice guys finish last as you learning. now if it was me i would have publicly mocked this girl with the headache say something witty and made the class turn on her .their would have been no incident with the suicide note,if you are witty enough and sharp no one will mock you publicly for fear of looking like a fool ,or worse if they find you in alley.

wit and brutality is a vicious combination. but you silently walking out the room as you are being mocked does not inspire that image.you made your self even more of a target by your actions. hell if you not witty at the very least pick up a desk and throw it at a random person that is laughing, rage can be a powerful tool.clear that room out and your public mocking will stop .one act of violence publicly will make people think what will he do next if i ridicule him.the fear will keep them in line.

i was know as a psycho. but i took it to far.hell for both grade five and grade nine i had to have a adult, the school board assigned with me at all time to be allowed on school property as i was a danger to other students witch in turn inspired even more fear. don't take it that far.

but still you need at least one act of violence prefebly on a random person and publicly .ie some one close that was laughing with the attacker this will inspire fear on both the attacker as they saw your brutality and on everyone else as it seems you where so mad you took it out on the nearest person.witch will give you the unpredictably angle which will also inspire fear. then it will be smooth sailing but don't do what i did. i got addicted to that power.

( for clarification when i say one act of violence im not talking about walking into your school with a tek 9 and gunning everyone down.) fucking sad world when one has to actually put that disclaimer in their) pc fear based culture at its finest.

inspire fear pigfeeder!!
_________________________
http://www.sintheticgraphics.com

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#7465 - 04/10/08 07:47 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
Sven Offline
stranger


Registered: 01/19/08
Posts: 46
A major fault of mine is obsessing over unimportant things. To me to be a Satanist means to be your own God and to have pride in yourself and your achievements. But I tend focus on my faults to the point of unhealthy obsession. For which I then beat myself up too much over the little things I messed up that don’t even matter in the end. So even though it helps me push myself, sometimes I push myself to the point of where it’s unhealthy.
_________________________
A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!
Marquis de Sade

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#7467 - 04/10/08 08:08 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: rob_church]
Octavius Offline
member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 561
Loc: just visiting
 Originally Posted By: rob_church
that is when you have a talk to them one on one then pigfeeder,
you could resort to violence make an example of one of them, or manipulation, befriend to destroy them, keep your friends close but your enemy closer. either way if they feel stronger when they are a group attack them individually, spread lies about them try to destroy this core group if you dont want to resort to violence.i never had your problem as i was 100 percent feared the only things people said was in my absence. they would not dare say it to my face but going down that road has its downsides as well, mainly your social life will suffer. when the halls part as you walk through sure it is an awsome feeling but trying to get laid and shit becomes alot harder when you are feared to that extent. i would suggest a few paths.befriend one of them just mimic,charm,be what they want to see at least personalty wise.then destroy them internally or actually be friend them and use them as an ally. or find the alpha of the group and get them alone.make sure their alone or their pride will come into play. be prepared to hurt this perosn.now you can use intimidation or just flat out violence.either way inspire fear.better that you don't use violence and can just intimidate them, threaten them with violence and they will think twice before publicly attacking you if you inspire enough fear before hand.

either way you have to put a stop to this. the key is get them alone, many are big and tough in the mob mentality but get them alone its a different story.nice guys finish last as you learning. now if it was me i would have publicly mocked this girl with the headache say something witty and made the class turn on her .their would have been no incident with the suicide note,if you are witty enough and sharp no one will mock you publicly for fear of looking like a fool ,or worse if they find you in alley.

wit and brutality is a vicious combination. but you silently walking out the room as you are being mocked does not inspire that image.you made your self even more of a target by your actions. hell if you not witty at the very least pick up a desk and throw it at a random person that is laughing, rage can be a powerful tool.clear that room out and your public mocking will stop .one act of violence publicly will make people think what will he do next if i ridicule him.the fear will keep them in line.

i was know as a psycho. but i took it to far.hell for both grade five and grade nine i had to have a adult, the school board assigned with me at all time to be allowed on school property as i was a danger to other students witch in turn inspired even more fear. don't take it that far.

but still you need at least one act of violence prefebly on a random person and publicly .ie some one close that was laughing with the attacker this will inspire fear on both the attacker as they saw your brutality and on everyone else as it seems you where so mad you took it out on the nearest person.witch will give you the unpredictably angle which will also inspire fear. then it will be smooth sailing but don't do what i did. i got addicted to that power.

( for clarification when i say one act of violence im not talking about walking into your school with a tek 9 and gunning everyone down.) fucking sad world when one has to actually put that disclaimer in their) pc fear based culture at its finest.

inspire fear pigfeeder!!


Mr. Church,

Do you think about what you write before you post? Are you actually telling our dear adept Snow to engage in school violence? Do you realize what you might be doing to this impressionable young man? What if he were to interpret your post as an advocation of violence and consequently mowed down half of his class with granddad's hunting rifle? Perhaps word gets out that he was inspired to commit some heinous act from some idiot who replied to him on an online Satanic forum.

Take some responsibility. As "elder" leaders here at the 600 Club it falls upon us to educate younger Satanists in a rational and practical manner. Your advice, despite the casual disclaimer, is about the worst possible thing I could imagine telling our young friend. I expected more from you.

Snow, please do yourself a favor and disregard this idiot's advice.

Octavius
_________________________
So long, and thanks for all the fish.

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#7468 - 04/10/08 08:16 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Octavius]
rob_church Offline
member


Registered: 11/02/07
Posts: 194
Loc: alberta , canada
i would hope octavius that pig feeder would be intelligent enough to realize that i am not talking about him going into a school and gunning everyone down.

yes im advocating violence but in some cases it is needed ,if he is acting like a victim ie walking out silently while being mocked my advice would solve that problem and would also earn him respect in the form of fear. and from his story this is what he is lacking. i also stated if he can do it without violence then all the better but some times violence is needed.

this world is to politically correct these days one cant give a fellow some advice with out the idea that. this advice will drive them to do an incredibly stupid act.

have you never used violence as a tool or at least the implication of it octavius? i hear on this site so many people saying if some one hurt some one they care about they would use violence, but yet i cant give this fellow some advice to punch some one and come of as unpredictable ,to stop these verbal attacks he is receiving? and i only advocate this approch if manipulation has failed,and seems in pig feeders case it has. all because the setting happens to be a school.what a scared sad world we live in.


Edited by rob_church (04/10/08 08:43 PM)
Edit Reason: added last part
_________________________
http://www.sintheticgraphics.com

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#7471 - 04/10/08 09:51 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: rob_church]
Octavius Offline
member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 561
Loc: just visiting
In today's climate, I would never advise a child or teen to use violence as a means of problem solving. Violence in a teen world will rarely induce respect. It usually induces more violence. Let's say that Mr. Snow does decide to exercise some violence in hopes of winning the respect of his enemies. Let's say he kicks their ass. Do you for one minute think that his enemies now respect him? Hardly. Now Mr. Snow has certainly made his enemies angrier. Who knows what will ensue? Perhaps his enemies will be the ones to bring a weapon to school. Perhaps his foe rounds up a gang of football players to ambush him after school. What has violence solved then? Certainly, this is my opinion. However, I seriously doubt that violence breeds respect in today's schools. Let's not forget that an act of violence for you and I is likely quite different for Snow. Even if he brings down the proverbial thunder on these idiots he still has to face them every day. Retribution is likely in the High School world. It's not like you or I mixing it up with some random idiot at a bar who we'll likely never see again.

So what is a troubled teen to do? What are his weapons? Cunning. Deception. Intelligence. Creativity.

Yes, I've used violence as a tool in the past. Yes violence has its place. However, I weigh the consequences of any kind of violence seriously. For the sake of argument, is beating the shit out of some drunken asshole hitting on my wife in a bar worth a possible night in the clink? No. My wife can hold her own against any sloppy drunk and I'm certainly not so insecure about myself that I need to punch out every idiot I come across who has an inflated ego. Is violence wrought upon someone who steals from me or hurts my loved ones inappropriate? Hardly. But I'm not going to play the scenario game with you here. We're talking about something very specific.

In closing, if you're so quick to think of your fists when faced with a difficult decision, you must be lacking in other areas. PC bullshit is a poor excuse for advocating violence, especially to a minor. Playing the victim is certainly not helping Snow, but violence is not going to solve his problem. It's going to get his ass kicked, not to mention a bunch of trouble from his school administration. Let's be more creative, if not responsible, in giving advice to our young brothers and sisters.

In your service,
Octavius
_________________________
So long, and thanks for all the fish.

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#7475 - 04/10/08 10:51 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Octavius]
rob_church Offline
member


Registered: 11/02/07
Posts: 194
Loc: alberta , canada
I seriously doubt that violence breeds respect in today's schools.

perhaps you are correct.it has been many a moon scicne i was in school. all i know is these tactics worked for me when i was in school. with all these shootings these day i would think that it would inspire more fear but i may be wrong. i wasn't feared because i beat people up granted i did do that, but i was feared because i was unpredictable,witch is what i was telling pig feeder to do. no one wanted to mess with me because of that reason.sure some one could get their friends and jump me but they didn't out of fear they would see me at the foot of their bed with a hacksaw one night.

Let's say he kicks their ass. Do you for one minute think that his enemies now respect him? Hardly. Now Mr. Snow has certainly made his enemies angrier.

if he did it in front of a group i agree he will just fuel the fires this is why i advised him to get them alone.then pride doesn't come into play and ignite the situation. if he where to beat down on his enemy then yes he would be respected more by his enemy then if he just sits their taking it.the fact they are mocking him in public shows they do not respect him or fear him.

So what is a troubled teen to do? What are his weapons? Cunning. Deception. Intelligence. Creativity.

i agree with you their, but pig feeder attempts at manipulation have obviously failed if hes in this boat in the first place.

In closing, if you're so quick to think of your fists when faced with a difficult decision, you must be lacking in other areas.

if your smart,and use fear as a tool you wont have to resort to the act of violence very often, the implied retribution you will seek upon some one attacking you, will keep them at bay,but one must be unpredictable/appear as if the consequence doesn't matter, this is why at the end i instructed pig feeder not to attack his enemys but a random person when he is attacked, and to make a scene at that ,so it spreads quicker.

Playing the victim is certainly not helping Snow, but violence is not going to solve his problem. It's going to get his ass kicked, not to mention a bunch of trouble from his school administration.

snow did state he knew how to fight,and yes getting in trouble,is par for the course.but if he followed my advice and inspired fear and appeared to not care about the consequence he would only have to do it once ..look at this way who does a person fear most. the ufc fighter or the convict that just got out. they fear the convict.why? because the convict has nothing to lose and its implied that he doesnt want to go back but will if pushed so far as hes done it before,where as the ufc fighter has alot to lose and will probly back away from any trouble or violence if the choices is their.same in this situation at least thats how i see it .if snow appears to not care about the repercutions and will do anyhting to destroy his enemys these attackers will leave him alone out of fear. if he directly confronts them in public after that then he will be attacked no doubt about it. but if he just lets it alone they will realize he will attack back and with actual force, they will not make waves or deliberately attack him at least in public out of fear.

im wondering since you where so quick to jump on my advice octavius what you would recommend for snows situation?
_________________________
http://www.sintheticgraphics.com

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#7478 - 04/10/08 11:23 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
97and107 Offline
member


Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 277
Loc: New Mexico
I'm needy. I need the universe, I need this guy I'm so fucking in love with, I need help and I get lost in my dreams. I need him so badly...

Er, Ningishzidda of course (aka The first Satan)

and im too stupid sometimes to realize he's right here in my blood, in the blood of all humans...our genetic heritage really....so silly.

Yes, I speak in metaphor...

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#7481 - 04/10/08 11:46 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: rob_church]
Octavius Offline
member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 561
Loc: just visiting
 Originally Posted By: rob_church
im wondering since you where so quick to jump on my advice octavius what you would recommend for snows situation?


Cunning. Deception. Intelligence. Creativity. If he's going to fix his situation he's going to need to either exercise his body or his mind. Preferably BOTH. This is his test, and I honestly don't have an answer to fix his problems. My advice would be to devise a plan of non-violent action that would hit his enemies where it hurts without their knowledge Specifically, aim for their pride. Destroy someone's ego and watch ALL their power fade, especially if you can get them to destroy it themselves...
_________________________
So long, and thanks for all the fish.

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#7502 - 04/11/08 01:20 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Octavius]
LUCIFERIFIC Offline
active member


Registered: 02/01/08
Posts: 629
Loc: CA
My whole life is one big failure. Satanism just shows me what a failure I am in life. But my failures are triumphs. Because from them, and the mistakes i make in life, I grow, and become more than I was before. The more I do - the more I fail. The more I fail - the more experience in life I collect. The more experience I have - the wiser I am than the one who is afraid to fail.

My Satanic short comings: I'm not animal enough. I can't survive in the forest for over 4 days. I wish i was like Rambo and Bear Grills. I'm still too inhibited. I wish I was more sluttier, like men are. I still love to love and be loved. I dream too much. I still believe there is more to life than just THIS. I still want something I can't have - that perfect love every girl can imagine, but never find. I really should have known, by the time you drove me home, by the chill in your embrace, the expression on your face... I'm one of the chosen few, who went ahead an fell for you, I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch; I feel too strong; I think too much; maybe you might have, some advice to give... on how to be insensitive \:\)

Kayla


Edited by LUCIFERIFIC (04/11/08 01:42 PM)
_________________________
Lux Ex Tenebris
Lux Lucet Ex Orientis


~~352~~


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#7507 - 04/11/08 04:11 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: LUCIFERIFIC]
Simon Offline
pledge


Registered: 04/10/08
Posts: 78
Lock all your feeling into small boxes in your head. That was what we were trained to do. If you do it enought, you'll do it automaticly. Only open the boxes when you need the feeling. Anger; if you are going to fight, cause anger makes you stronger. Lust; When you are to make love, cause it makes you a better lover. See the point?
_________________________
-I am the drinker of worlds-
- Slaanesh

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#7512 - 04/11/08 06:06 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Simon]
PigFeeder Offline
member


Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 294
Loc: Near Montreal, QC
To reply in general to Octavious and Church:

You are both trying to help which I appreaciate very much. Being but still a 'child' I can be immpresionable, but I've grown through harsh times and am quite a bit smarter then implied.

I'll explain a bit more: I never have problem with guys, because most are afraid. And if they open there mouths to me and try to show off, I usually shut them up pretty quickly. Gang fights are discouraged where I live and even the guys on the football team are afraid of me. They know I can fight as does anyone else around here. I have always been sort of small, and I was picked on a lot when I was younger and beat up in early years of elementary, so I learnt to fight, to defend myself. And I've earned the repuation that I don't take any shit. But I'm also not the type of guy to beat on girls, which is the only sex I seem to really have any trouble with. I get along with most people but like I said, there are always the bitchy ones who just don't like you. And of course they know that I can't just beat them.

I'm slowly developping ways to deal with people like this, and will undoubtly run into more soon. 'I will rise above all else, even myself'. A quote I take seriously.

 Originally Posted By: Simon
Lock all your feeling into small boxes in your head. That was what we were trained to do. If you do it enought, you'll do it automaticly. Only open the boxes when you need the feeling. Anger; if you are going to fight, cause anger makes you stronger. Lust; When you are to make love, cause it makes you a better lover. See the point?


This is not something as humans I really see as entirely possible, we all have things that make us click, things that set us off. None are perfect.


As to using violence to solve my problems well, it works with men, not women. I can however inspire fear. People do fear and respect me for the most part but, people who actually decide to talk to me and get to know me turn out to like me and find I am nice and not so scary. I inspire fear, not thoughts of psychotism.

As to the school shootings, I have to be careful.. Not an hour from here the Dawson shootings happened.. And I got put down on hard. A lot of pressure was put on me and still is because I am the only one of this oarticular 'style' around here. Someone made up a rumour that I uttered a death threat, and another rumour that I knew the guy who did the shootings and that I said I was going to finish the job.. Neiher was obviously correct, nonetheless the police were there.
_________________________
For all murderers, I am the leader.
Forever, Rob, The 49 PigFeeder.
NecroMantic Sin.

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#7516 - 04/11/08 10:27 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
Morgan Offline
Princess of Hell
stalker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 2956
Loc: New York City
Just ignore the chicks and think "whatever".
That one in particular you are feeding into her ego.
Let her starve.
Cut her off, if she speaks, just look through her.
Like she doesn't exist.

Its a power trip thing.
Cut off her ego, you cut off her power.

Its high school, its over soon, and you never ever have to talk or see those people again.

Just play it cool.

Good Luck,
Morg
_________________________
Courage Conquering Fear
Fuck em if they can't take a joke
Don't Like What I Say, Kiss My Ass



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#7522 - 04/12/08 02:02 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
I like Morgans advice on this chick, but also a tactic you could try is to just quietly tell a few people (who would beleive it, pick carefully), that she has been secretly sending you love notes and that you tried to gently reject her, however she is spurned and now feels the need to put down on you all the time.

If you say it to the right people, before long, it will be 'common knowledge' around the whole school that she's been rejected by you and that is why she says what she does. Then it WILL get to her and she'll have to stop, otherwise she'll be flaming the fires for this rumour herself.

People will look at her completely differently if they think she doing in from a 'rejected' position and lets face it, most people will beleive anything they're told, it wouldn't be that hard a rumour to start.

Zeph
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#7530 - 04/12/08 05:07 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
Simon Offline
pledge


Registered: 04/10/08
Posts: 78
I see your point, it is true that there are thing that make me click too. But not very often. But on that subject of fear of your. Could you spesify? I think you have a gret point there.
_________________________
-I am the drinker of worlds-
- Slaanesh

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#7545 - 04/12/08 12:42 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Simon]
PigFeeder Offline
member


Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 294
Loc: Near Montreal, QC
 Originally Posted By: Simon
I see your point, it is true that there are thing that make me click too. But not very often. But on that subject of fear of your. Could you spesify? I think you have a gret point there.


People fear me in a way that most won't bother openly disagree with me if they don't know me. They don't defy me, they move out of my way when I'm walking. But not to the point where people are afraid to get to know me. Which is good because once they get to know me, as I've said I'm quite nice and not actually mean. There afraid of me because I'm darker, quite, and not very many know much about me. And as with most of the witless people who populate our earth, they are afraid of what they don't know.



Morgan what you've said actually makes sense. I should just look through her, ignore her. I actually do this in a way by walking out of class. But what I should do is just completely ignore her altogether. I'm typically a 'whatever' type of guy. So I should just apply it here. I will try it next time. And if it doesn't work out I'm going to maybe try your idea Zeph. I like it, however because we are different it may be hard to convice some people. But I think I know the right people to get the rumour around to. I's a pretty good idea. Thank you to the both of you. I'll try it on Monday. I haven't had to bother with it this week as the school administration has suddenly decided to ask me to stop wearing my 'corpsepaint'. After the principal kindly showed me how loud he could yell and how red his face could go, I made him look utterly stupid and ignorant, bashing him in a wit-to-wit battle. I thought it was pretty funny myself. Although I got a five day break for telling him no and refusing to stay in the office missing my lunch with my girlfriend. It goes to show that age doesn't necessarily mean smarter or more mature.
_________________________
For all murderers, I am the leader.
Forever, Rob, The 49 PigFeeder.
NecroMantic Sin.

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#7551 - 04/12/08 04:04 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
If I'd been the one she'd made that snide comment about writing a suicide note, I'dve just said, "If anyone sat next to you long enough, they'd want to kill themselves too." Cue laughter at her expense. You=1, her=0.
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#7650 - 04/13/08 07:04 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Nemesis]
PigFeeder Offline
member


Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 294
Loc: Near Montreal, QC
Oh damn thst's good. That would hurt and be funny as hell leaving her with no comeback. I'll remember something of the like when a subject somes up. Thanks. ;\)
_________________________
For all murderers, I am the leader.
Forever, Rob, The 49 PigFeeder.
NecroMantic Sin.

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#7691 - 04/14/08 07:30 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
MaggotFaceMoe Offline
member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 164
Loc: Finland
Not trying to offend, but do you wear corpsepaint in school?
I've always thought that such things should be left to the blackmetal gigs... Otherwise I think it's guite "dramaqueen" kind of shit...

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#7696 - 04/14/08 10:02 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: MaggotFaceMoe]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

Greetings,
Others might say it is a cry for attention... Much like an emo?

~T~

Pleasant day

*Is it my weakness that I just had to hit the submit button?*


Edited by ta2zz (04/14/08 10:04 AM)
Edit Reason: my weakness
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#7698 - 04/14/08 10:22 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: MaggotFaceMoe]
PigFeeder Offline
member


Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 294
Loc: Near Montreal, QC
Once in awhile but I tone it down, not as severe as when I go to shows or some special outing. No offense taken, I just feel more comfortable with it on. It may be something I've programmed into myself, to cover up and sort of hide myself. But I feel more comfortable with my face covered up, not to affect other people really, just myself. I don't even remember I have it on m,ost of the time, that's how much I don't think of it.


 Originally Posted By: ta2zz
Greetings,
Others might say it is a cry for attention... Much like an emo?

~T~

Pleasant day

*Is it my weakness that I just had to hit the submit button?*


And you feel you have to contribute something as useless as this.. Wow aren't you grand. Hope you feel better. And even if I was emo, I'd much rather be emo than anything close to the likes of you.
_________________________
For all murderers, I am the leader.
Forever, Rob, The 49 PigFeeder.
NecroMantic Sin.

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#7709 - 04/14/08 08:00 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
fakepropht Moderator Offline
Big Slick
active member


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 990
Loc: Texas
 Quote:
Originally Posted By: ta2zz
Greetings,
Others might say it is a cry for attention... Much like an emo?

~T~

Pleasant day

*Is it my weakness that I just had to hit the submit button?*


And you feel you have to contribute something as useless as this.. Wow aren't you grand. Hope you feel better. And even if I was emo, I'd much rather be emo than anything close to the likes of you.


I think it was a pretty spot on observation and it did contribute to the thread. I lump the emos and corpse painted folks in the same bag. Looking for attention.
_________________________
Beer, the reason I get up every afternoon.

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#7724 - 04/14/08 09:50 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: fakepropht]
PigFeeder Offline
member


Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 294
Loc: Near Montreal, QC
 Originally Posted By: fakepropht
 Quote:
Originally Posted By: ta2zz
Greetings,
Others might say it is a cry for attention... Much like an emo?

~T~

Pleasant day

*Is it my weakness that I just had to hit the submit button?*


And you feel you have to contribute something as useless as this.. Wow aren't you grand. Hope you feel better. And even if I was emo, I'd much rather be emo than anything close to the likes of you.


I think it was a pretty spot on observation and it did contribute to the thread. I lump the emos and corpse painted folks in the same bag. Looking for attention.


Well it doesn't matter either way, I've told you and cleared it up, attention is not what I look for nor what I need. I do what I do for myself, not minding or even bothering of what anyone else thinks. I do wha I do fir myself to make myself comfortable.
_________________________
For all murderers, I am the leader.
Forever, Rob, The 49 PigFeeder.
NecroMantic Sin.

Top
#7731 - 04/14/08 10:28 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
Except of course, that being a target because of this 'doing it for yourself' hasn't made you very comforable really has it?

As Dr Phil would say "Hows that working for you?"

Zeph
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


Top
#7733 - 04/14/08 10:33 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

Do you argue with my logic?

The question was do you wear corpse paint to school…

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
Once in awhile but I tone it down, not as severe as when I go to shows or some special outing. No offense taken, I just feel more comfortable with it on. It may be something I've programmed into myself, to cover up and sort of hide myself. But I feel more comfortable with my face covered up, not to affect other people really, just myself. I don't even remember I have it on m,ost of the time, that's how much I don't think of it.

Man I don’t even know where to start with this… So you say you use corpse paint to hide behind? Kid lets drop the charade shall we?

While it is true that the definition of Satanism is malleable… What gave you the impression that you were Satanist? There are a few prerequisites and hiding behind makeup is not one of them…

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
And you feel you have to contribute something as useless as this.. Wow aren't you grand. Hope you feel better. And even if I was emo, I'd much rather be emo than anything close to the likes of you.

Do you feel know me?

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
Well it doesn't matter either way, I've told you and cleared it up, attention is not what I look for nor what I need. I do what I do for myself, not minding or even bothering of what anyone else thinks. I do wha I do fir myself to make myself comfortable.

You are an Emo face it… Hiding behind a mask to feel comfortable… ;\)

~T~

I must be feeling better… At least I'm laughing now…
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#7750 - 04/15/08 09:58 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
MaggotFaceMoe Offline
member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 164
Loc: Finland
That seems to be some big sort of a failing. Having to hide behind anything. Of course I don't know where you come from, nor what's your situation at school like, but what I do know is that it isn't a strength either.
I think you should learn to be comfortable with what you are first, before becoming anything else. It doesn't sound very satanic.

I don't think it makes you emo necessarily, but it does give an impression of a scared boy being something/one else to overcome it.
I'm not a psychiatrist nor do I try to be. It's just that I've seen such before. Some people left the satanic scene alltogether, some just cleaned up their faces and stood a bit taller and a bit prouder.

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#7783 - 04/15/08 11:53 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: MaggotFaceMoe]
PigFeeder Offline
member


Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 294
Loc: Near Montreal, QC
 Originally Posted By: ZephyrGirl
Except of course, that being a target because of this 'doing it for yourself' hasn't made you very comforable really has it?

As Dr Phil would say "Hows that working for you?"

Zeph


Me wearing what I do isn't usually the reason I'm targeted. I'm normally targeted because I am quiet and people don't know me. Where I live people are afraid of different and things they don't know.

 Originally Posted By: ta2zz

Do you argue with my logic?

The question was do you wear corpse paint to school


And I answered it. Again I have to remind you to read a bit more thoroughly.


 Quote:
Man I don't even know where to start with this… So you say you use corpse paint to hide behind? Kid lets drop the charade shall we?


No I am taking a guess, I'm just recently getting to knw myself better and to study/look at the reasons why I do certain things. I didn't think I would have to explain but I will. I don't think wearing it makes me weaker, it makes me comfortable. When I have it off I feel different about myself. I've been working on things in my life the past 2 years and have been making myself a better person. I am gradually feeling less of a compulsion to wear it and more a feeling that I am wearing it because I like it...

 Quote:
While it is true that the definition of Satanism is malleable… What gave you the impression that you were Satanist? There are a few prerequisites and hiding behind makeup is not one of them…


What gives you the right oh great philosopher to state there are even prerequisites. I didn't get the impression. I don't even need to call myself Satanist. I just noticed that many aspects in my life and theories I lived by were contained within the philosophies, theories, and teachings of LaVey. And this is the reason I am in the thread called "Where do you fail?"...
Obviously manipulatively hiding is in one way that I fail, and am working on. None of us are perfect, but there are just some of us that want to think we are great and perfect and refuse to admit we have flaws.. Those are the people who fall. First step is realising the problem, next one is doing something about it.


 Quote:
Do you feel know me?


Yes. In the same way you feel you know me, by your writings and what you say here in the forum.
 Quote:
You are an Emo face it… Hiding behind a mask to feel comfortable… ;\)


One among many things where you claim to 'know me' as you would have it called.


Say what you want, call me whatever you feel like it. Just because you think you know me and you think I am something. Doesn't mean I am. And if it makes you laugh then all the more power to you. I am what I say I am, not what random fools like you say.



 Quote:
I must be feeling better… At least I'm laughing now…


Ironic, I remember wasn't it you who said:
 Quote:
Yah, people usually laugh when they don't know what to say.


Your points here are all weak and failed attempts at trying to bash me and make me feel worse. Nice try but it'll take more than some random jerkoff.. So laugh, laugh away.



 Originally Posted By: MaggotFaceMoe
That seems to be some big sort of a failing. Having to hide behind anything. Of course I don't know where you come from, nor what's your situation at school like, but what I do know is that it isn't a strength either.
I think you should learn to be comfortable with what you are first, before becoming anything else. It doesn't sound very satanic.

I don't think it makes you emo necessarily, but it does give an impression of a scared boy being something/one else to overcome it.
I'm not a psychiatrist nor do I try to be. It's just that I've seen such before. Some people left the satanic scene alltogether, some just cleaned up their faces and stood a bit taller and a bit prouder.


As you could have read before yes it is a failing, and I am working on it. Maggot, everybody has there flaws, this happens to be one of mine. The only thing is, I don't mind telling myself and aknowledging my flaws and failings. knowing the fault and fixing it is what makes us better, satanism to me is almost a step to realization and making myself better.
_________________________
For all murderers, I am the leader.
Forever, Rob, The 49 PigFeeder.
NecroMantic Sin.

Top
#7793 - 04/16/08 01:13 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
Say what you want, call me whatever you feel like it. Just because you think you know me and you think I am something. Doesn't mean I am. And if it makes you laugh then all the more power to you. I am what I say I am, not what random fools like you say.

 Originally Posted By: ta2zz
I must be feeling better... At least I'm laughing now...

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
Ironic, I remember wasn't it you who said

 Quote:
Yah, people usually laugh when they don't know what to say.


Aww sweetie I have plenty to say… ;\) And I am not at a lose for words I am simply amused… Sniveling children do that to me… Here maybe this diagram will help you on your journey…



~T~

Good luck on your path...
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

Top
#7819 - 04/16/08 01:05 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: ta2zz]
97and107 Offline
member


Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 277
Loc: New Mexico
Oh, I also forget I'm responsible for all of it, always.

Here is a steam-powered dildo, also:

http://blarneyfellow.files.wordpress.com/2006/11/20060120-steam_dildo.jpg

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#7824 - 04/16/08 04:46 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: ta2zz]
PigFeeder Offline
member


Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 294
Loc: Near Montreal, QC
First of all I'm not a Sweetie or your Sweetie..

Second of all it was you who told another member of this forum to go over what they write and learn to use a spell check.. It is spelt "I am not at a LOSS for words..", Not "at a lose for words". Practice what you preach.

Thirdly, you being amused would have no relevance to not having anything to say.. If you're going to try to make yourself sound better or higher-powered to someone else, at least try to make sense.



 Quote:
Here maybe this diagram will help you on your journey…



Do you often go look up pictures of the female anatomy? Do you have that much free time? Or are you just that childish and preverted?..
And what relevance does that diagram have to anything here.
You're just taking blind shots trying to hit your target.. You're missing by a long shot..

At least if you're going to try to hit me with a few witty comebacks. Make them good, try to make some sense, stop acting like the sniveling child you call me, and again, practice what you preach, check over your shit...


Have a good evening.

~~Snow~~
_________________________
For all murderers, I am the leader.
Forever, Rob, The 49 PigFeeder.
NecroMantic Sin.

Top
#7847 - 04/16/08 10:58 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
First of all I'm not a Sweetie or your Sweetie..

I was using the term as I would to a small wounded child…

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
Second of all it was you who told another member of this forum to go over what they write and learn to use a spell check..

The word you seek is checker not check… Unless of course you had said I tell people to spell check their posts… Then check would be the proper term… Not that a spell checker would catch my using the wrong word… Understand? I gave you a few uses of both words proper even…

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
It is spelt "I am not at a LOSS for words..", Not "at a lose for words". Practice what you preach.

In reality I think you meant to say that I misused the word lose in place of the word loss… Otherwise I believe the proper way of saying what you did would be more like “The saying goes I am at not at a LOSS for words”… I did not misspell the whole saying after all… I am not an English major are you?

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
Do you often go look up pictures of the female anatomy?

As a tattoo artist/ piercer I have seen more of the female anatomy than you can dream of seeing…

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
Do you have that much free time?

I do, it’s good to be me… But don’t humor yourself and think you are worth any more than an “I’m feeling lucky” search on Google for tampons…

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
Or are you just that childish and preverted?..

I believe the word is spelled perverted… Ironic is it not?

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
And what relevance does that diagram have to anything here.

It teaches you how to insert a tampon into your vagina…

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
You're just taking blind shots trying to hit your target.. You're missing by a long shot..

If I had missed my mark you would have had a chuckle and not let it get to you…

 Originally Posted By: PigFeeder
At least if you're going to try to hit me with a few witty comebacks. Make them good, try to make some sense, stop acting like the sniveling child you call me, and again, practice what you preach, check over your shit...

Just like if all you have to grasp at is trying to turn my own words over the use of a spell checker on me… Make sure you first have a grasp on what it is you are trying to say and please for the love of life, don’t misspell words in your own post while doing so… It only robs your statement of any possible seriousness…

Peace

~T~

I cannot I almost totally missed this Emo statement, "Your points here are all weak and failed attempts at trying to bash me and make me feel worse." ~PigFeeder

Now I am done… Before I personally fail by not knowing when enough is enough…
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

Top
#7866 - 04/17/08 07:55 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: ta2zz]
PigFeeder Offline
member


Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 294
Loc: Near Montreal, QC
Wow this is a serious waste of time, I'm not going to reply to anything. Not because I don't have anything I can say, but because my words are wasted on a blabbering fool who calls himself older and smarter, but cannot seem to act it..
_________________________
For all murderers, I am the leader.
Forever, Rob, The 49 PigFeeder.
NecroMantic Sin.

Top
#9521 - 06/11/08 11:12 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
doctorsaige Offline
stranger


Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 19
Loc: Ca, USA
I just started my own business, due to wallowing in the corporate sales arena for 6 years and taking happy pills to get through my days and sleepy pills to get to sleep by 2am..that's not a way to make a living, a good one for me. I took that bull by the horns! I'm reluctant to other bulls though, and thats costed me some fuel that I really could have used on my own fire.
Satanism, is new for me but I really feel that I can relate to the philosophy and always have, I just never knew it was concurrent with my beliefs and gut instinct. I try and avoid thinking of it as another "label" or "category" .The whole idea of Satanism, seems to me to be the very beautiful fact that ... hey! Free we are! theres no labels WE put ourselves into, no ignorant, society based "file folder" that we as independent self-rulers encompass ourselves in. That's the trait of Satanism in which dangled before me and got my complete attention.. the idea that I determine the level and nature of my faults, not some idiot jamming a holy and surreal falacy down my throat, who is probably somewhere jackng off to one of my movies after he criticizes me! Know what I mean?
I know what my strengths are, and I also know my fears and that is my weakness, right there as a Satanist. Getting over "me". I never dwell on the negative, if I can avoid it, which I always can but sometimes don't. Anton LaVey has attested to what I feel. He says that it is positive thinking and positive action that manifests positive outcome Iand we must implement this into our own lives.. I am really bad at addressing my fears with myself. I suppose admitting this to my peers as I am now is one way I am trying to combat this pitfall. I can hide a lot of shit on the outside, AS FAR AS, not letting an opponent or adversary see reluctance. But, the truth is, I don't always fight those who need to be fought, and smacked down, whether by spell, verbally, or physically. I wish I was less attentive to the approach of "picking my battles," because in retrospect, any loss from my poor choice of "battle-picking" would have been far less than the loss of satisfaction, gratification, and ...MOTIVATION, most importantly, to have that air of confidence which I knew then and I know now, are essential to me.


Edited by doctorsaige (06/11/08 11:40 AM)
_________________________
Dr. Saige D.
Known as "Doc."
(And no, I'm not really a doctor)

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#9522 - 06/11/08 04:47 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: doctorsaige]
Asmedious Moderator Offline
Moderator
senior member


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1751
Loc: New York
Very nice thread doc.

I totally agree with this right here
 Quote:
But, the truth is, I don't always fight those who need to be fought, and smacked down, whether by spell, verbally, or physically. I wish I was less attentive to the approach of "picking my battles," because in retrospect, any loss from my poor choice of "battle-picking" would have been far less than the loss of satisfaction, gratification, and ...MOTIVATION, most importantly, to have that air of confidence which I knew then and I know now, are essential to me.


I found in the past, that it was easier just to let things go, then to attack them with tooth and claw. Yet, in hind sight, even a loss would have been much more desirable, then the later realization, that I simply let someone get away with attacking me.
_________________________
"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

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#9542 - 06/12/08 07:41 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
PigFeeder Offline
member


Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 294
Loc: Near Montreal, QC
And therin lies the importancy of the past saying "Choose your battles wisely." You must be able to make that decision in life as to wether you should let it go but just know for the future, or if you should beat them down without mercy (There are many ways to "beat someone down"..)

Saige, you will eventually have to learn to calmly asess the situation, and learn to determine if your battles are worth fighting or letting go, otherwise the consequences on YOUR life can be extremely detrimental and negative.

But I must say this, the better part of the battle is won, once the weakness is known. Or in your case, you know what is wrong, now all that is left is to remember it the next time you find yourself in conflict.

My Regards,
Snow.
_________________________
For all murderers, I am the leader.
Forever, Rob, The 49 PigFeeder.
NecroMantic Sin.

Top
#9551 - 06/12/08 11:31 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
VictorGrigorii Offline
stranger


Registered: 05/16/08
Posts: 28
Loc: Sarasota, FL
The Satanic Bible states "all beliefs must be put to the question" and that whenevera belief is proven to be a falsehood, "Let it be assailed without pity." I believe a Satanist is a challenger to all, including other Satanists, to ensure he does not share a categorization with a lot of metal-headed morons and goth-weenies and when somebody says something stupid, they should be called out for the moron they are.

My failure in this area is that my mother-in-law, who is also my landlady, who is also a baptist, I do not challenge for fear of being shuffled off to Buffalo before I am ready.

It also speaks of "Love only to those who deserve it" and "responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires." My wife could be considered a psychic vampire, I have been the only steadily working person in our household for three years, while she leaps from job to job, ultimately coming back to this goddamn japanese restaurant where she makes jack shit but gets to wear a kimono and play jap. Whenever I or her mother try to reason with her about getting a real job she switches to topic over to our tone and choice of words and how they make her feel. I should leave her, but I keep thinking if I nag her enough she might get her shit together. So, there's another failure.

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#9559 - 06/12/08 08:08 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: VictorGrigorii]
fakepropht Moderator Offline
Big Slick
active member


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 990
Loc: Texas
I used to battle my wife tooth and nail over some of the smallest things. We are both poster children for taureses, and have the most stubborn egos. The result of these trivial battles was me sleeping on the couch or we wouldn't talk to each other for days on end. Finally, a wise friend of mine suggested I pick my battles with her. I don't have to fight her tooth and nail over who did the dishes last. Just do the damned dishes. Save that battle for something like a night out without her. It worked like a charm. I cooled off about stupid stuff. I didn't need to argue with her whether Bill Clinton was a good or bad president. What does it ultimately accomplish? He is still president, I am not, and I get to sleep in bed and eat a meal with conversation instead of staring at the wall. I saved that battle for another day, like not allowing my child to go to a movie with friends when he was suspended from school. She might allow that bit of freedom, but I would not. I think picking your battles is very wise advise indeed.
_________________________
Beer, the reason I get up every afternoon.

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#9562 - 06/12/08 09:28 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: fakepropht]
VictorGrigorii Offline
stranger


Registered: 05/16/08
Posts: 28
Loc: Sarasota, FL
It's a battle we can't afford not to pick unfortunately. We have four children between us. And lately we can't talk much without leading into an arguement. I'd leave, but I don't know where I can go.
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#9564 - 06/12/08 09:49 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: VictorGrigorii]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
Is there any way you could start from scratch? Setting up in a place of your own would be the easy part--having to pay child support for your four children after a divorce would leave you broke pretty quick. Have you two tried getting away from the house and kids and just try to reconnect with each other? Turn off the cell phones, the tv, the computer, all that crap. Nothing ends a relationship quicker than pent-up frustration and unresolved disputes.
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#9566 - 06/12/08 10:06 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Nemesis]
fakepropht Moderator Offline
Big Slick
active member


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 990
Loc: Texas
My wife and I just celebrated our 20th anniversary. Our friends and relatives gave us 5 years tops. It can be done, but it takes work. It takes compromise . It involves work and sometimes you have to be willing to give in to the other. My wife knows I still look at some 20 year old ass as it struts by, but she lives with it. I sit through some chick flick with her because I know it brings her pleasure and will allow me to look at that 20 year old ass the next day. I would rather be pushing my last $20 all in with a pair of Aces than watching a bunch of chicks crying together, but I do it for her. And there are times she would rather me be with her listening to her story about how tough work was that day, instead of running out the door to look at a car show. But she knows that is important to me. Compromise brother.
_________________________
Beer, the reason I get up every afternoon.

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#9647 - 06/16/08 10:39 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Nemesis]
VictorGrigorii Offline
stranger


Registered: 05/16/08
Posts: 28
Loc: Sarasota, FL
 Originally Posted By: Nemesis
Is there any way you could start from scratch? Setting up in a place of your own would be the easy part--having to pay child support for your four children after a divorce would leave you broke pretty quick. Have you two tried getting away from the house and kids and just try to reconnect with each other? Turn off the cell phones, the tv, the computer, all that crap. Nothing ends a relationship quicker than pent-up frustration and unresolved disputes.


ONly one of the children is mine biologically, and I would never be able to live with myself if I left without her. What scares me is what I would have to tell the other three. They have had three fathers come and go before me who have all treated them like garbage. I am the only stable father figure they have had, how could I tell them that daddy can't stand mommy anymore and can only take one with him?

We are already broke, that's part of the problem. I am the only one working. She hasn't had a job for three months at least since the jap joint closed for good and hasn't been looking. We can't make it on one income, nobody could. Her mother helps as much as she can, and I appreciate it, but needing it so much really sucks. If she would just get a job we might have a chance at standing on our own two feet, but for now she is a bum leg who refuses remedy.

I don't think we can connect anymore. She thinks I am too logical, I think she is too brainless. I read Ayn Rand, she reads yaoi. Time to go.

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#9648 - 06/16/08 10:42 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: fakepropht]
VictorGrigorii Offline
stranger


Registered: 05/16/08
Posts: 28
Loc: Sarasota, FL
 Originally Posted By: fakepropht
My wife and I just celebrated our 20th anniversary. Our friends and relatives gave us 5 years tops. It can be done, but it takes work. It takes compromise . It involves work and sometimes you have to be willing to give in to the other. My wife knows I still look at some 20 year old ass as it struts by, but she lives with it. I sit through some chick flick with her because I know it brings her pleasure and will allow me to look at that 20 year old ass the next day. I would rather be pushing my last $20 all in with a pair of Aces than watching a bunch of chicks crying together, but I do it for her. And there are times she would rather me be with her listening to her story about how tough work was that day, instead of running out the door to look at a car show. But she knows that is important to me. Compromise brother.


I envy you, but I have been compromising on her behalf for three years, torn between how she feels and what our family needs. It just doesn't seem fair.

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#9649 - 06/16/08 10:43 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: VictorGrigorii]
VictorGrigorii Offline
stranger


Registered: 05/16/08
Posts: 28
Loc: Sarasota, FL
Christ, I never thought I would whine this much publicly.
Top
#9704 - 06/19/08 11:52 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: doctorsaige]
Octavius Offline
member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 561
Loc: just visiting
 Originally Posted By: doctorsaige
I just started my own business, due to wallowing in the corporate sales arena for 6 years and taking happy pills to get through my days and sleepy pills to get to sleep by 2am..that's not a way to make a living, a good one for me. I took that bull by the horns! I'm reluctant to other bulls though, and thats costed me some fuel that I really could have used on my own fire.
Satanism, is new for me but I really feel that I can relate to the philosophy and always have, I just never knew it was concurrent with my beliefs and gut instinct. I try and avoid thinking of it as another "label" or "category" .The whole idea of Satanism, seems to me to be the very beautiful fact that ... hey! Free we are! theres no labels WE put ourselves into, no ignorant, society based "file folder" that we as independent self-rulers encompass ourselves in. That's the trait of Satanism in which dangled before me and got my complete attention.. the idea that I determine the level and nature of my faults, not some idiot jamming a holy and surreal falacy down my throat, who is probably somewhere jackng off to one of my movies after he criticizes me! Know what I mean?
I know what my strengths are, and I also know my fears and that is my weakness, right there as a Satanist. Getting over "me". I never dwell on the negative, if I can avoid it, which I always can but sometimes don't. Anton LaVey has attested to what I feel. He says that it is positive thinking and positive action that manifests positive outcome Iand we must implement this into our own lives.. I am really bad at addressing my fears with myself. I suppose admitting this to my peers as I am now is one way I am trying to combat this pitfall. I can hide a lot of shit on the outside, AS FAR AS, not letting an opponent or adversary see reluctance. But, the truth is, I don't always fight those who need to be fought, and smacked down, whether by spell, verbally, or physically. I wish I was less attentive to the approach of "picking my battles," because in retrospect, any loss from my poor choice of "battle-picking" would have been far less than the loss of satisfaction, gratification, and ...MOTIVATION, most importantly, to have that air of confidence which I knew then and I know now, are essential to me.


This is by far one of the best responses to this thread. It's too bad that the past page or two has turned this thread into a complete waste of time. Kudos to Dr. Sage. The rest of you need to take a serious look at your replies and your posts. I had originally had high hopes for you, Snow, but you've proven to be a callow and myopic idiot who seems to be obsessed with quantity, not quality. You bring nothing to this discussion or any other. You are little more than something for Ta2zz to spend time dissecting. (Ta2zz, find a new hobby. You're wasting bandwith.)

Few noobies are little more than simpering dark-sider-wannabes. "Where do you fail?" Take a hard look at this question and answer it honestly without publication here. Hold yourself to a higher standard or take your discussions and arguments elsewhere. The admins have re-opened the hall of shame and we are all being held to the highest standard. Contribute substantive threads or be silent.

In your service,
Octavius
_________________________
So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Top
#9741 - 06/22/08 12:33 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
doctorsaige Offline
stranger


Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 19
Loc: Ca, USA
Thanks for your feedback as well, Asmedious.... I think this was a great topic!! i GUESS we all have to just take each situation as it comes and regulate ourselves to keep our strength and wits about us!
Only the strong survive!

Blessed Be,
Saige
_________________________
Dr. Saige D.
Known as "Doc."
(And no, I'm not really a doctor)

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#9777 - 06/23/08 11:25 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Salem Offline
stranger


Registered: 06/21/08
Posts: 16
Loc: Canada
I think Satanism is really about being the best you can be, and doing what ultimately benefits you. You say you will always have a job somewhere, I'd say that's a big advantage. I don't think you need to be "on top" everywhere. If it doesn't suit you or isn't in your best interest, it just doesn't make sense. Not in my opinion, at least.
_________________________
Openminded and opinionated.

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#9803 - 06/26/08 10:17 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Salem]
PigFeeder Offline
member


Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 294
Loc: Near Montreal, QC
Salem, you are very simple-minded, but I do not say that in a bad way. I say it in meaning that you state exactly what's on your mind. No hopping about the mullberry bush, you get straight to the point. It's nice to see..


Yes, Satanism IS about being a higher self, self gratification, and doing things that cater to your needs and life. So ultimately yes, it can lack nothing really, as it almost completely falls down into your view of what it is. That's the beauty, no Christian Dogma, just a few simple guidelines..


One problem though, this is the "Where do you fail?" Thread. All the same, I see your point, just wanted to let you know in the future make your post a tad bit more relative to the thread, kay?

Thanks,
My Regards,


~Snow~.
_________________________
For all murderers, I am the leader.
Forever, Rob, The 49 PigFeeder.
NecroMantic Sin.

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#10142 - 07/09/08 04:33 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: PigFeeder]
Xande Offline
stranger


Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 24
Loc: Arlington, TX, USA
Allow me to state that the question posed within this thread is a very potent one. It isn't one to be taken lightly, and I'll make no attempt to do so. One's unfiltered reflection can often prove to be unsettling.

Where do I fail as a Satanist? The answer to that self-posed inquiry was far easier to arrive at than I assumed. I fail because I criminally under utilize my natural talent, and I fail because I have intentionally stymied my own progress by means of allowing complacency to substitute for genuine achievement. I have fashioned my existence into an easily followed routine that files down sharp edges and allows me to walk in safety.

They say those who can't, teach. In contrast to my own life, this tired old saying has yielded a touch of truth in such a glaring way I cannot ignore it. I constantly encourage others to exert themselves and aggressively seek their own paths to happiness, and I do so in the smugness befitting a fool: though I have found my own path, I live my own life in contradiction to its progressive creed.

I fail as a Satanist in the sense that I lack the motivations necessary to impose one's will on his environment. Though I frequent many places, once I leave I am truly gone. I complain of lack of aesthetics yet make no effort to see them obtained. I place myself in the role of complainer, and I know the archetype at the center of the complainer is something far more insidious still: the victim. To complain without an attempt to actualize change is to proclaim oneself a victim without victimizers.

Still, I strive for personal godhood, but I am a human and as such I am prone to grievous errors in judgment. Now that I have clearly outlined my failures, I am worse still if I do not correct them.
_________________________
“Faith” is acceptance induced by feeling in the absence of evidence or proof.

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#10145 - 07/09/08 07:13 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Xande]
Asmedious Moderator Offline
Moderator
senior member


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1751
Loc: New York
WOW, I am almost speechless (wordless?) at the above response. That is exactly the type of honest and self evaluative answer, which I was looking for when I first proposed the question of "Where do you fail" in this thread.

The sincerety, and more so the self understanding of the poster is, in my opinion, very rare indeed.

On the negative part....I can so much relate to what is stated above, that I find myself fallen short of answering my own question, because I should have written that as my own response.
_________________________
"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

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#11578 - 09/18/08 06:54 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Xande]
barrytheblade Offline
stranger


Registered: 09/16/08
Posts: 10
Loc: WA
 Originally Posted By: Xande
They say those who can't, teach. In contrast to my own life, this tired old saying has yielded a touch of truth in such a glaring way I cannot ignore it. I constantly encourage others to exert themselves and aggressively seek their own paths to happiness, and I do so in the smugness befitting a fool: though I have found my own path, I live my own life in contradiction to its progressive creed.


Goddamn it, that's good! The uglier side of that is called hypocrisy or the "do as I say, not..." rule. But you put it so eloquently that it almost beautifies the situation. It reads like Shakespearean tragedy without the iambic pentameter. Whatever it is that you teach, my friend, I dare say that your charges are in good hands.

Complacency is such an easy thing into which to fall. You often do it so gradually that it goes completely unnoticed. I do it myself. I used to be so athletic and now I've become a bit lumpy. Why? I could blame my job, but that would be lying to myself and you.

My job takes me away from my family but it's one hell of a living. I could take a lesser-paying job and be home, but I always say that, sometimes, you have to think with your head rather than your heart. Maybe someday I'll change my mind; I wish I could right now, but I haven't.

The great tragedy is that we all enslave ourselves. You need money so you sign on. If you live in the woods and kill your own food, the FBI comes out and shoots your family...I'm just thinking of Ruby Ridge.

It would be wonderful if we all could just let go and let life take its course, but most of the time it's just not feasible.

Maybe Marilyn Manson was right: "Everybody's someone else's nigger/I know you are so am I".

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#11603 - 09/18/08 11:51 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: barrytheblade]
ShadowWalker Offline
stranger


Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 22
Loc: Yokosuka, Japan
Where do I fail as a Satanist?
I would have to say that I don't fail anywhere as a Satanist. This isn't me talking through pride either. Let me elaborate. While I do not stick perfectly to the doctrine put forth by the Satanic Bible, no one does. And that was not it's purpose, it was meant to be a book of guidelines. Satanism's core belief is to do what makes you happy and to not give a fuck what someone else says otherwise, but at the same time always remembering to better yourself.
I am doing what makes me happy in life, and I am indulging in lifes pleasures. Therefore I do not fail anywhere as a Satanist.
As long as you are doing what you want in life, and you are not harming others (at least the undeserving), then in my book you are being a Satanist.
_________________________
"Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought." ~Henri Louis Bergson

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#11623 - 09/19/08 04:38 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
balatro Offline
stranger


Registered: 06/21/08
Posts: 8
Loc: Taxas
Where do I fail...? I think failure is a strong word...I prefer "stumble". If I have failed then I have not learned to follow the Left-Hand Path. Were do I stumble???...everywhere. But I try to take my blows and fight back. I often find myself giving away too much vital energy to those who just feed off of the goodness of others. Lately, I've been learning to be more sinister in my qualifying a person to determine their intentions. If they are decent folk then we can share in each others good company, but if they are psychic predators, I lust after their demise and my heart is filled with contempt. The "Proverbial Stake" is ready to be driven into their heart (actually, if there is no heart, the head can be severed too). Sounds gross but a fucker that truly deserves it is just another dead hypocrite anyway.

Let's see what else...I find that my sense of personal power wanes when I am not practicing "the art" so I am stumbling in my commitment to charge my vital "batteries". Reflection and determination to perfect oneself are always needed and if we start to get down on ourselves then we have failed.

I could probably go on and on but then that ego centered lamentation would be just another failure errr....stumble on my path.

***

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#11627 - 09/19/08 05:47 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: balatro]
coelentrate Offline
member


Registered: 07/07/08
Posts: 164
Loc: Dundee, Scotland
My view is that I'm imperfect but growing.

Things that are shortcomings now will not necessarily be shortcomings later.


Edited by coelentrate (09/19/08 05:48 PM)

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#11641 - 09/20/08 07:09 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: balatro]
Ringmaster Offline
member


Registered: 04/07/08
Posts: 205
Loc: Salem Oregon
 Originally Posted By: balatro
Where do I fail...? I think failure is a strong word...I prefer "stumble".
***

Everyone fails at one thing or another. Stumble is just a way to sugar-coat the word fail, in a sense it is just cheating yourself (in my opinion). I mean why should you sugar-coat it when you do fail it's just pointless I think that people learn from their mistakes when they are put out to them bluntly. Take let's say you fail a term paper and the professor can't pass you because of it is he going to say "well you seemed to have a stumble" hell no he's going to outright tell you that you failed.
_________________________
Get off the cross and save yourself, I feel no pity for the cries of a weak man.

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#11648 - 09/20/08 09:45 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Ringmaster]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
But is it considered a failure when you can pick yourself back up and recover what you initially failed at? "Fail", to me, means "fail absolutely, with no success in the matter". To use your example, if he failed that particular test, what if he redeemed himself and got a great grade in the class at the end of the semester? That failed test would be considered a stumble, because he kept going, and achieved success.
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#11655 - 09/20/08 02:59 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Nemesis]
Ringmaster Offline
member


Registered: 04/07/08
Posts: 205
Loc: Salem Oregon
I can see what your saying when put into that context. I still have a lot to learn when it comes to things like this. I guess this would be my failure/downfall neglecting siting and thinking things through completely.

Edited by ringmaster (09/20/08 03:04 PM)
Edit Reason: reword things
_________________________
Get off the cross and save yourself, I feel no pity for the cries of a weak man.

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#11658 - 09/20/08 04:54 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Ringmaster]
Satansfarm Offline
member


Registered: 01/12/08
Posts: 352
Loc: america
I have failed consistantly in knowing what makes me happy. I am getting older, and I am just beginning to realize certain things about myself. Its kind of embarrassing to admit. I am just now beginning to understand exactly what it is that makes me tick.
I know that this is going to be a long, ongoing process.

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#11659 - 09/20/08 05:01 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Satansfarm]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

If we were to use the word fail here as the ultimate fail then who could answer this question before their death… I take the word fail here in the context as meaning the things we do knowing that we would be stronger or better off if we did not do them… But then again one mans indulgence can be another mans failure…

peace

~T~
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#11671 - 09/20/08 09:19 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Satansfarm]
balatro Offline
stranger


Registered: 06/21/08
Posts: 8
Loc: Taxas
 Originally Posted By: Satansfarm
...I am just now beginning to understand exactly what it is that makes me tick.


This puts you ahead of 90% of the rest of humanity so don't fret. Every journey begins somewhere.

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#11812 - 09/25/08 12:51 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: balatro]
Fabiano Offline
member


Registered: 09/06/08
Posts: 374
Well, I roughly share ShadowWalker's point of view.

Where I fail? I'm discovering Satanism (just finished TSB yesterday) so I could say I'm failing to fully understand some satanic concept/idea, etc. But I do not live it as a failure.

My point of view is parhaps unsusual in that sense that I'm not trying to live as a Satanist (after having discovered Satanism and its staements, sins,...) but I just realise that I always lived as a Satanist.
A did some "psycho-test" when applying for a job. We looked at the results and focussed on the extremes. There was a characteritic need to belong to the group ("besoin d'appartenance au groupe" in french) and I had zero point for it !

Coming back on the initial post of this topic, I'm working as an employee in a big telecom company. I have the chance that the enterprise's culture is very opened minded. A collegue of me is also a guitarist in a metal band. He got the look... and this causes no issue. Another one is gothic and myself like to have a mafia look at work. As I'm part of the management, I sometimes have to wear suits & tie. I don't deny my rebel side but I'm not stupid. So I'm in suit but looking as a gangster.

Regarding being independant and autonomus, I think it's an illusion to beleive that running your own business make you independant. You'll be dependant on your providers & customers instead of an employer.
I'm very happy with my job, it pays well, I have flexible schedule and manage my time as I want, I'm evaluated on my results and rewarded in consequence (lesser magic can be very sefull here),...

My company group did 1,000,000,000€ of benefit last year. It's normal I get a part of it. I just take the money where it is. I could run my own business, being an IT consultant. But I've made the balance, a lot of worries for not so much money...
I think I would be less happy as an independant.
Regarding "manager wimps", manipulate them or better, kick them out and take their place!

However, I really think I'm independant and autonous because I think I will alway manage to survive in this world whatever the situation is. It's a gut feeling, the hell fire is in me, I'll never resign!

Fabiano


Edited by Fabiano (09/25/08 12:57 PM)

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#11981 - 09/29/08 02:24 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
MeekMaestro Offline
lurker


Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 3
Loc: Ohio
Self-actualization is the ultimate dream of all Satanists, but how can we even attempt to achieve this if we are dependent upon not only our employers, our communities, our families, and our government. Whether or not one wishes to admit it we are all slaves to our nation state, bound by citizenship and forced to bribe the beast with our own revenue. Which, even if you run your own business is still a necessity.
We are all slaves to this world, bound by technology and the comfort of our social hierarchies, which every human is committed, no matter how solitary they try to be.
Our world is not conducive for the realization of "perfect" Satanism. And it won't be until we are able to shun ourselves from machines and each other.

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#12867 - 10/19/08 01:34 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: MeekMaestro]
Phaethon Offline
pledge


Registered: 08/01/08
Posts: 78
I think the only part in which i fail as a satanist is my tolerance of people. I usually sit there and listen to people blab and blab about things i don't truly care about. I never want to offend, so i simply smile and nod. I tend to not seek revenge for people's actions against me since i usually understand it.

I'm not sure if this is a failure or not on my part, but it does go against the first satanic rule. I will let my opinion known when i see fit. That doesn't mean i walk around screaming what i think. But if people around me are voicing their opinions to me, I will let mine known. If a man i screaming that sinners are going to hell, ill scream back my opinion and shrug off his words. But all in all, i do love when people ask, "what do you think?"
_________________________
My God & I are one & the same,
We have the same face we have the same name.

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#17254 - 12/31/08 12:24 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
Chey Offline
Banned
stranger


Registered: 12/08/08
Posts: 12
I am Satanic because I worship my master, Satan. I trus in him and pray to him in my time of need.
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#17274 - 12/31/08 01:41 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Chey]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

You really should stay here... Satan say's Click Me!

Ask your lord and master how long he expects you to be here...
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#17317 - 12/31/08 09:11 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Chey]
Dan_Dread Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 3934
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
 Originally Posted By: Chey
I am Satanic because I worship my master, Satan. I trus in him and pray to him in my time of need.


Is anyone else tickled pink by the fact he posted this in the 'where do I fail' thread?

\:\)
_________________________
ADM
ideological vandal

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#17322 - 12/31/08 09:41 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Dan_Dread]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3151
If you mean quite proud he admits he fails at having an own will and admits he is indeed quite less intelligent.

Anway..
"The dark force not very strong in this one is".
"Time will tell how he fast get banned will!"

*returns to his hut on sector 12 in the swamps*.
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#17335 - 12/31/08 11:26 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Dimitri]
Dan_Dread Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 3934
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
Well, no that's not what I meant at all. If you can't see why it's funny I'm not explaining it ;\)
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ideological vandal

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#17337 - 12/31/08 11:32 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Dan_Dread]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3151
Well actualy there are plenty of things wich makes this funny..
Just wandering which one you were thinking of..
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#18068 - 01/13/09 12:59 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Dan_Dread]
spiderbreeder Offline
member


Registered: 11/29/08
Posts: 300
Loc: Sydney,Australia
I can totally grasp where you're coming from re' yet again another example of Chey's wisdom laden one liners Dan, I had a good chuckle over the irony of where he posted his little gem myself...

I fail in the context that I'm a real procrastinator...

If I can ever find it within myself to muster up enough manual dexterity to pluck my finger out of my own backside, I could [without question] achieve a hell of a lot more in this existence of mine...

Maybe tomorrow.... ;\)

On a serious note, I do recognize that getting too complacent about certain aspects of my life can be detrimenal to achieving what I want to get out of life, and can cause me to slide into a rut of sorts if I'm not vigilant- It's something I'm becoming more aware of about myself as I get older, and something I'm working on rectifying.
_________________________
REGIE SATANAS!

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#19119 - 01/27/09 12:18 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
Sordid Archetype Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/05/08
Posts: 28
Loc: Long Island, NY
I think what pains me the most is that I know the things I consider to be of importance, I understand the character traits and such that I consider strong and beneficial; yet I often find myself choosing in exact opposition to all of it, and usually it is simply because I am afraid. To be honest, I hate to admit such a thing. I used to pride myself on all of this creative and "independent" thought, and yet as I truly sit here since this weekend and think about it, I haven't thought out very much thoroughly. Consistently I am finding ,myself in both awkward and destructive situations simply because I refuse to display this multi-faceted sense of character that I continually describe myself as being.

Even still, the worst part is that I am destroying the things I love dear to me when if I really sat down to think things through I would never (in theory anyway) choose to do the things that I ultimately end up doing.

I can't figure out where the mechanism is broken. I mean, I have a rough idea, of fear and frustration, but what from that leads me to choose the path of self-destruction?

I used to think that my goal was self-actualization, but as of today I think it's merely just to breathe.
_________________________
The only god I believe in is me. . .

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#19126 - 01/27/09 03:45 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Sordid Archetype]
Asmedious Moderator Offline
Moderator
senior member


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1751
Loc: New York
Very nice post Sordid. I think many of us can relate; I know for sure that I can.
_________________________
"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

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#19132 - 01/27/09 04:26 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
Jake999 Offline
senior member


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
There's a line Al Pacino delivered in The Scent of a Woman. It goes something like: "All of my life, I had choices and without exception, I chose the wrong one. Why? Because choosing the right one was just to damned hard."

It's not easy doing what you know is right. That never changes. But once you get into the habit, and you find that the rewards are better than the alternatives, it becomes much easier. And it's not about being "satanic," and it's not about "sin." It's about honoring yourself by doing what you KNOW is right and what you KNOW is going to benefit you in the long run. It's easy to take shortcuts and it's easy to cheat on life just a bit. But this quote, attributed to Napoleon Hill, said it best. "Following the path of least resistance makes both men and rivers crooked."

Being true to yourself sometimes faces a lot of resistance, but seldom will you ever feel the journey along that path wasn't justified.
_________________________
Bury your dead, pick up your weapon and soldier on.


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#19177 - 01/28/09 06:29 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Jake999]
Zoid Offline
member


Registered: 01/24/09
Posts: 109
Loc: USA - New Jersey
I have failed to find a way to have money while never doing anything I hate. I hate work! Yet I trudge into the office each day because I need cash. I've gamed the system to the point where I spend maybe one hour a day actually doing anything constructive for my employer, and comically my clients praise me because I do my job so quickly, but I still show up each day, plagued by self-loathing because I'm not my own master. I fear jail and therefore I fear becoming a counterfeiter, which would solve my problems until I got caught. Jail actually has some positive aspects but getting butt-fucked by Bubba isn't one of them.
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#19187 - 01/28/09 10:57 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Zoid]
candyjesus Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/07/08
Posts: 43
Loc: NY
I expect such greatness from myself, but nothing even remotely close to that from those around me. I consistently find myself falling short as a leader; Burning myself out while picking up everyone else's slack to accomplish [what should be] common goals when I should instead focus on eliminating the problems.

I never thought I would admit it, but there is truth in the fact that the weak should be destroyed for the greater good.

This thread has been a wakeup call.
_________________________
"Eleven. Exactly. One louder."

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#19263 - 01/29/09 05:41 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: candyjesus]
Zoid Offline
member


Registered: 01/24/09
Posts: 109
Loc: USA - New Jersey
 Originally Posted By: candyjesus
I expect such greatness from myself, but nothing even remotely close to that from those around me.


Are you saying you expect more greatness from those around you than you expect from yourself?

Or are you saying those around you expect more greatness from you than you expect from yourself?

Or some third possibility?


 Originally Posted By: candyjesus

I consistently find myself falling short as a leader; Burning myself out while picking up everyone else's slack to accomplish [what should be] common goals when I should instead focus on eliminating the problems.


Your comments below make it clear you're in the process of enlightening yourself, so I'll just add some words to encourage you in what you're already doing.

Management is the art of making oneself irrelevant to the process. The manager who can take a month vacation, never call in, and come back to find everything running smoothly has strong management kung-fu and is worthy to open a school in the art and be its sensei.


 Originally Posted By: candyjesus

I never thought I would admit it, but there is truth in the fact that the weak should be destroyed for the greater good.



Destroyed or otherwise exploited, perhaps. For example, consumerism could be construed as the exploitation of the weak for the good of the strong.

But really, the word "weak" is so open to interpretation that I don't trust it. A paraplegic mathematician is weak in one sense yet strong in another. The paraplegic is useless for stocking shelves but the mathematician could stride like a colossus across the future of human science.

Nevertheless, your central insight with regard to your own situation, to the extent I understand it, seems valid to me. If your subordinates aren't pulling their own weight, they need to be fired.

My own prior post on this thread might seem to belie the above sentiment but only because I didn't fully explain myself. I am ranked in the top twenty percent of the organization for my level. I have consistently been placed in assignments where the clients had previously been disgruntled by the poor performance of my predecessors, and in every case I turned the situation around, earning the praise and gratitude of the clients. I am also a goldbrick who will spend two hours reading comic books at my desk with my office door closed. The paradox is resolved by the fact that I work smart rather than hard, fast rather than long, and follow best practices such as jumping immediately on any task that comes my way, communicating promptly with stakeholders, doing the more important thing before the less important thing, and putting time into prevention rather than clean-up. The result is that you would rather have two hours of my time than eight hours of my peer's.

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#19331 - 01/29/09 04:00 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Zoid]
candyjesus Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/07/08
Posts: 43
Loc: NY
To clarify: I have definitely expected much more from myself than I do from others. I realize now that I have been approaching life with this "expect nothing and anything you get is a bonus" attitude which simply doesn't cut it.

You're correct- I am still in the process of "figuring it all out." I just never really considered how flawed my logic was.

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#19364 - 01/30/09 01:20 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: candyjesus]
daevid777 Offline
active member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Hell's Pisshole, Texas
Two words:

Delegate.

Responsibility.

Learn them well, young Jedi.
_________________________
Where we're going, we don't need roads.

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#19499 - 02/01/09 02:33 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: daevid777]
paolo sette Offline
member


Registered: 12/12/08
Posts: 263
Loc: IL, USA
Everyone fails or makes mistakes in life. It's as simple as that. Whether they are small or large, we all screw up at one one time. If someone says they don't make mistakes, they make choices... well, then, they're in serious denial. It's a learning experience either way you look at it. On the important decisions in your life, you would want to minimize on failures. Dahhh!

I hate when I make a mistake (or fail) because then I have to go back and clean-up the mess.
_________________________
tathagata-svapratyatma-aryajnana-adhigama
666
[nig]-ge-na-da a-ba in-da-di nam-ti i-u-tu

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#45393 - 12/21/10 05:52 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
OrgasmicKarmatic Offline
member


Registered: 08/01/10
Posts: 256
Loc: Michigan, USA
I see that this is a rather old post. I ran across it in my searches of the early years of 600 to get a grip on some of the past this site has had. (It's done a number on how I see some members!) Onward though, I wanted to reply to this post because I thought it was an amazing idea \:\)

I think where I fail in Satanism is becoming emotionally involved in things that I don't need to become emotionally involved in (especially in the ways of defense and anger) and in turn detaching myself from the things that I should be attached to. I tend to ignore the important big picture and instead try to attack the little things that are only little minute pieces of the big picture.

This is something that I have been working on and with work, I think I'll obtain a balance between the big picture and the little picture. \:\)
_________________________
I am a ghost.x
http://othermindx.blogspot.com

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#45605 - 12/24/10 08:34 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: OrgasmicKarmatic]
paolo sette Offline
member


Registered: 12/12/08
Posts: 263
Loc: IL, USA
 Quote:
This is something that I have been working on and with work, I think I'll obtain a balance between the big picture and the little picture.


Even though it cannot be logically established, three terms shine through which are esse, solus and pukka. Perhaps terms as these can be applicable and of propitious benefit to your life situation. They are to me.

Ciao...
_________________________
tathagata-svapratyatma-aryajnana-adhigama
666
[nig]-ge-na-da a-ba in-da-di nam-ti i-u-tu

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#49001 - 02/16/11 11:05 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
innertravel Offline
lurker


Registered: 11/17/10
Posts: 2
Satanism for me is being God of my own world. Therefore, I don’t like relying on others for employment ect. I own my business, have my own healthcare insurance, invest my money wisely, and actively create my reality everyday. I have been working on personal development and growing my occult knowledge and practice for 25 years. It’s a great challenge.
Where I fall short is in manifesting my desires in a timely manner. I haven’t been able to speed up the process from idea to reality very well….yet!

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#49003 - 02/16/11 11:46 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
Hegesias Offline
active member


Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 725
The negative and positive poles within His consciousness are perpetually unified by asserting Will to Power over and through opposites. This unification/destruction of opposites is an active, dynamic polarisation of existential nihilism and an epistemic distrust of the openly visible—a lucid intelligence related to, but not limited to misanthropy. This unification/destruction of opposites brings Him to the primordial state of desolation within His being where opposites were/are catalysed, created. The emergence from this process is anarchistic causal change. His works are the manifestations received through the abstractionless emanations of the incorporeal black acausal (within and all around) which links Him to the ineffable Source, seeping in from outside of the corporeal cosmos—Natures adversary, Death.

In esoteric resonance with the blackest emanations of Nature. I seek the black stimulation of death by design, the unmanifest nature of death, and the attraction of death within all manifestations of desire. And and from this desire and inspiration I am inspired to portray a vicious satire of civilisations mundanity. What care do I for that which Nature has turned her face from and forsaken.

He may laugh at anything corporeal, because his desolate laughter has no opposite nor causal manifestation as his hate is primordial, pure and universal, and beyond paroxysmal emotion with no discrimination of the target; friend, foe, dead, alive, sentient, insentient – all are meaningless before his hideous inspiration. The desolate one laughs at suffering and death, for it makes him blithe. In this we see that the individual is beyond the limitations imposed by the cosmic order (and how others expect him to react). The external does not control the individual, he sees through it's illusions, he recognises the dark that perpetuate from the brightest stratagem of light. This is not a play of words but a statement, a declaration of revenge. ~ Hegesias
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#49004 - 02/16/11 11:54 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Hegesias]
felixgarnet Offline
active member


Registered: 10/17/09
Posts: 688
Loc: UK
What the actual fuck was that about?
_________________________
"Here's to Artifice!" - Anton Szandor LaVey.

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#49008 - 02/17/11 12:31 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Hegesias]
LucyFur Offline
member


Registered: 02/06/11
Posts: 122
Loc: Bible Belt, USA
 Originally Posted By: Hegesias
The negative and positive poles within His consciousness are perpetually unified by asserting Will to Power over and through opposites. YADDA YADDA YADDA.......


WTF? So rather than introducing yourself or at the very least, using your own words to give us some meaningful information, you decided that a random, long-winded quote would be the perfect 'first post' hah?

Care to explain what the fuck you just quoted and tell us how it pertains to the discussion thread and why we should care?
_________________________
I spit on your crapulous creeds.
Let all chaste women be utterly despised among you!


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#49013 - 02/17/11 01:59 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: LucyFur]
Hegesias Offline
active member


Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 725
The previous text was an exoteric wording on how dialectics serve to assert active nihilism for somebody who is adversarial by nature.

The literature which was mistaken for a "quote" is an excerpt of my own work which merges the principle of evil with active nihilism as psychological state, Chaos magick theory, solipsism and cultivation of psychopathy. The excerpt is self explanatory with some identifiable synonyms/antonyms common to Nietzschean philosophy and what is traditional Satanism). I am not part of any established order of Satanism nor am I otherwise subservient to anyone or anything but maybe I will re-post in the "introduction" forum, but seeing as I am not new to the abstraction that is "Satanism", I thought I'd post something with workable content in a recognisable context for initiates to take from and make their own.

When you are reading my literature, bear in mind that I am not talking. It is only speaking.

I have spoken.


Well then, when you decide to post on any given topic, please stay on the topic. The topic of this thread is, "Where do you fail?" Kinda ironic.... Morgan


Edited by Morgan (02/17/11 08:13 AM)
Edit Reason: information/warning
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#49124 - 02/18/11 08:52 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Hegesias]
Hegesias Offline
active member


Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 725
Slightly ironic. I was in context only within my perception to the meaning of the forum title it seems, I read the previous post before mine and assumed that this was a board for posting how one has 'fallen' relating to abyssal reflection etc. I merely got mixed up for an introduction which I soon rectified, odd for me though as I am disruptive, disorderly and heretical by nature.

So to be honest and to clarify that I was in context in part at least to the thread, I fall short of being humane to many, I appear 'wrong', 'heartless', to the many, mostly due to the fact that I have an inability to react emotionally due to the overwhelming nihilism that has resulted from numerous near death experiences, continual exposure to strong violence, I fall short in showing compassion or any reaction to the external at all except laughter. I simply write esoterically because this is the only way to describe certain things without abstraction.
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#49144 - 02/19/11 01:19 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Hegesias]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3151
I'm going to puzzle a bit with your post.

 Quote:
So to be honest

 Quote:
, I fall short in showing compassion or any reaction to the external at all except laughter. I simply write esoterically because this is the only way to describe certain things without abstraction.


 Quote:
I merely got mixed up for an introduction which I soon rectified, odd for me though as I am disruptive, disorderly and heretical by nature.


 Quote:
Slightly ironic.
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#49149 - 02/19/11 02:05 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
Michael A.Aquino Offline
stalker


Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 2599
Loc: San Francisco, CA, USA
 Originally Posted By: Asmedious
I’m curious to see, if anyone is willing to admit to areas, that they consider to be a Satanic trait, or traits, where they fall short themselves.

I have always been what Paul Kantner called a "naïve idealist". I assume the best of people and trust them. To this day I remain stuck in Eagle Scout Weltanschauung. This has cost me more than a few nail-ups over the years, and it especially distressed Anton LaVey, who, despite having been a Cub Scout himself, couldn't quite reconcile the Boy Scout Handbook with the Satanic Bible.

Other than this Achilles' heel, I am of course perfect.
_________________________
Michael A. Aquino

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#49161 - 02/19/11 06:20 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Michael A.Aquino]
Oxus Offline
member


Registered: 04/15/10
Posts: 513
 Originally Posted By: Michael A.Aquino
 Originally Posted By: Asmedious
I’m curious to see, if anyone is willing to admit to areas, that they consider to be a Satanic trait, or traits, where they fall short themselves.

I have always been what Paul Kantner called a "naïve idealist". I assume the best of people and trust them. To this day I remain stuck in Eagle Scout Weltanschauung. This has cost me more than a few nail-ups over the years, and it especially distressed Anton LaVey, who, despite having been a Cub Scout himself, couldn't quite reconcile the Boy Scout Handbook with the Satanic Bible.

Other than this Achilles' heel, I am of course perfect.


I distrust everyone, even when I trust them. I am always thinking the wool is being pulled over mine eyes! That there is an ulterior motive behind their actions . . . gets me in a lot of hot water and creates chaos around me.

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#49176 - 02/19/11 11:33 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Michael A.Aquino]
LucyFur Offline
member


Registered: 02/06/11
Posts: 122
Loc: Bible Belt, USA
 Originally Posted By: Michael A.Aquino

I have always been what Paul Kantner called a "naïve idealist". I assume the best of people and trust them. To this day I remain stuck in Eagle Scout Weltanschauung. This has cost me more than a few nail-ups over the years, and it especially distressed Anton LaVey, who, despite having been a Cub Scout himself, couldn't quite reconcile the Boy Scout Handbook with the Satanic Bible.

Other than this Achilles' heel, I am of course perfect.


I have this problem too. Then when that person shows their true nature and betrays me I get really pissed at myself for being so naive and trusting! I am learning to follow my gut instincts more now. When someone doesn't feel right I don't give them a chance to get to know me.
_________________________
I spit on your crapulous creeds.
Let all chaste women be utterly despised among you!


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#49281 - 02/21/11 06:01 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Oxus]
MaggotFaceMoe Offline
member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 164
Loc: Finland
I share these both shortcomings, funny as they quite contradict each other.
The naivety applies when meeting new people. Perhaps too often I take people for what they say/express they are. Not that it's an actual problem. At least so far it has not given me any trouble for I don't "bond" easily. Perhaps that's the distrust in work on a sub level.
As for the distrust, I have found that mostly I live by the rule; never tell your friends what you wouldn't tell your enemies.
Loyalty can't be guaranteed even in best of friends, you never know when they might develop their own agenda and my secrets might work as a better leverage towards their goals.

And why I perceive that's a "where I fail", is that they both together make it really hard if not impossible to form actual functioning relationships.
I still do try, I am in a relationship with a woman and try to hold on to the few friends I've managed to gather.
To the outside it seems all good and dandy, but I can feel that in the essence something vital is still missing.


Edited by MaggotFaceMoe (02/21/11 06:03 AM)
Edit Reason: misspelling

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#49284 - 02/21/11 11:39 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: MaggotFaceMoe]
Diavolo Offline
RIP
stalker


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 4997
 Originally Posted By: MaggotFaceMoe
The naivety applies when meeting new people. Perhaps too often I take people for what they say/express they are.


Most people judge others upon the conversation they have with them, but a far better technique is observing people and realize that in how they behave lies the key to their character. I'm not what you call a social person, if not only because the trivialities most share are disgusting. When I mingle amongst them, I sit somewhere and observe and it doesn't take long before one can distinguish the worthy from the worthless. As such, I seldom am wrong in my judgment of people.

D.

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#49286 - 02/21/11 12:01 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Diavolo]
HeimiricIX Offline
pledge


Registered: 10/29/10
Posts: 75
Loc: Mexico City.
I agree with you D. I learned from a very early age to do just that, I have always been a very quiet, calm person, even as a child, so I learned to watch, to observe, this. since before I was aware of it, has allowed me certain advantage when deciding who I should socialize with and how.

A skill most useful at all times.

Best.
_________________________
HeimiricIX - Made you look

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#49305 - 02/21/11 05:20 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: HeimiricIX]
Hegesias Offline
active member


Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 725
I often get accused of being unstable when in fact I am the calmest person you are likely to meet, people judge you for what has happened and what they see you do to those who push their luck.

Others seem to get praise for being heroes if they merely 'beat up a bully' instead of torturing or worse. But because most often, mundanes potter in the predators shoes and seek praise this way, this exposes them as vulnerable to very real violence and it is their own fault that they receive it due to their vulgar displays of power, ignoble, diseased character of they the mundanes. I am suspicious of them at all times.

I am misanthropic and this can be seen as a failure/ falling short of something. For he who holds this lucid intelligence something more is evident, and intolerance to petty mundanes pushing their luck is something I consider to be natural. But to be told 'you went too far' is something I always encounter from close ones I suppose I am known to never moderate anything yet I hardly ever indulge in any anything except my studies, art and workouts.


Edited by Hegesias (02/21/11 06:19 PM)
Edit Reason: Shortened
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#49330 - 02/21/11 11:01 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Hegesias]
Woland Moderator Offline
Seasoned
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 764
Loc: Oslo, Norway
I have always loved the word of the poet...

Audrey was a thin pale boy his face scarred with festering spiritual wounds.
"He looks lika a sheep-killing dog," said a St. Louis aristocrat.
There was something rotten and unclean about Audrey, an odor of the walking dead.

William S. Burroughs


I guess my lifelong love-affair with these words have marked me.
In both good and bad ways, that is...

The somewhat desperate need to separate myself from society have had consequences, and I openly confess to regularly;

A: Making a spectacle of myself.

B: Repeatedly being a burden on my surroundings.

My shortcomings makes me the man I am, as do my strengths.
To me; life is a balancing act.
I have few high-flying notions about my superiority.

As a Satanist;
I may have failed.
But then again; I may not...
_________________________
Regards

Woland

Contra Mundum!

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