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#1284 - 10/28/07 03:14 AM Where do you fail?
Happy Birthday Asmedious Moderator Offline
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Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1725
Loc: New York
I have seen tons of topics on what it is to be a Satanist. However, most of the time, people proudly declare what makes them “Satanic,” for lack of a better word.

I’m curious to see, if anyone is willing to admit to areas, that they consider to be a Satanic trait, or traits, where they fall short themselves.

Since I bought up the subject, I’ll start.

In my definition of a Satanist, one important factor is independence, and self sufficiency. For me, this would mean working for myself, and not relying on an employer. I despise following the rules of others, and pretending to care about things, which I don’t care about at all.

Not only do I not work for myself, or have my own business, but I have stupidly fallen into a career, (and I use the term career very loosely), in which the rules and regulations are seemingly endless. Health care.

Granted, chances are, that if I continue in this field, I will almost always be able to find employment, just about anywhere I chose to go. However, I will continually, have to play the obedient sheep, and follow the whims of many different managers, and bosses.

I have a vision of what kind of a person the ultimate Satanist is, a person who is “Self Actualized” using the definition of Maslow, and I for one, can admit, that at this time, I fall very short in several aspects, from being that person.
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#1286 - 10/28/07 01:52 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
TornadoCreator Offline
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Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
Well I'm the exact opposite in many respects. I am self employed, however because my self-employment is unreliable and I don't actually earn enough money to live off I receive supplements and benefits from the government making me reliant on a system that I really despise is many ways however in many more ways breaking the system would require me to change principals that I've kept for a while. I could easily, for example, make myself more employable by cutting my hair and shaving, however I refuse because I like having long hair and a beard and it's my head so I'll bloody well do what I want with it. Why am I so adamant? Because I feel like it, no other reason is necessary.
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If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

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#1289 - 10/28/07 03:14 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
Gravity Offline
stranger


Registered: 10/02/07
Posts: 11
Loc: U S A
I can relate to what your saying. I am extremely proud as well and set standards for myself that are ridiculous considering my station in life. I feel though that if I keep that bar just slightly out of reach at all times then I will continually progress.

I personally feel that Satanism is about complete control over oneself. One can't be a master of the earth until they've become a master over themselves. This is the mindset I've grown up with. The Satanism part was just recently tagged on and absorbed into my life.

Where do I fall short? I haven't obtained everything in life that I want. I will not be fully satisfied until I've achieved my goals. Don't get me wrong, I do what I can to please myself at all times. But the life I am leading right now is not enough for me to be content.

Still though, I don't think a Satanist can be so easily pegged into a short definition. You just know it when you meet a Satanist, whether they know it or not. At least in my experience.
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#1291 - 10/28/07 06:45 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
delusion Offline
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Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 77
Loc: hawaii
This is hands down the best post I have ever read on any of the versions of this board. So much so that i'm actually going to take part in it.

You hit the nail so firmly on the head that its just rediculous. Satanism, when on display is all about letting everyone know what a bad ass you (the satanist) may be at the same time keeping their faults hidden away from the world. That's what I have taken from it in listening to the big bad satanists around the world.

So on to my shit.

I have stopped taking the idea of Satanism so seriously which has been a great step in my evolution.

My biggest fault is that I tend to let emotion rule my feelings for others. Perhaps a bit paranoid, perhaps a bit crazy.. who knows. All it takes is one speech from our president, one dumb shit to not yeild when their supposed to, to realize that i'm being used, hearing some middle American military clown telling me their "defending my freedom" and I just loose my shit.

This is an internal reaction mind you which I think is equally detrimental to that pragmatic/rational mindset that satanists should try to embrace.

I guess you could call that thin skinned thinking. Either way you slice it that is the part of myself that I put the most effort into subdueing. Believe me it does take effort, I find myself taking so many "deep breaths" a day you'd think I was doing lamaze.

Other then that I think i'm pretty damn satanic, turns out though that I just don't give a shit about Satanism... go figure.

This is funny to me and also happens to sum up almost all of Satanism for me perfectly.
another bad ass satanist!!! Somebopdy get this motherfucker a carrot.


Thanks again Asmodious for starting the best thread ever!!!

abidy abidy abidy ... that's all folks!



Delusion


Edited by delusion (10/28/07 06:47 PM)

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#1292 - 10/28/07 07:43 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: delusion]
Octavius Offline
member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 557
Loc: Left the party
Hmmm...

I recently stepped out of the corporate world to some extent...instead of working for one of the biggest banks in the world, I'm now selling musical instruments on commission for one of the biggest music stores in the nation. The biggest difference is that I'm in control of my paycheck now. I like the freedom that commission gives me...if I'm having a stellar month, I might just take a day off on a whim. If not, I know I better get my ass in the store or on the phone. Either way, I feel more in control of my success in this environment than I ever did working at the bank.

As far as Satanism applies, though, I've gone off the esoteric deep end and begun to explore more metaphysical aspects of where Satanism took me. I'm still very focused on my personal desires and needs, but I've come to realize that if I'm going to call myself "God" there is a certain amount of responsibility and accountability that comes with such a statement. In that respect, I've become more aware and active in social justice, morality, and judgment based on personal experience as opposed to the ten o'clock news and morning paper. The ideal of the self-serving ego-maniacal satanist whose only concern is himself has ceased to be productive. I've gotten a lot more out of life (and a lot more personal wealth and happiness) since I stopped cursing the world and stared actively changing it.

I find that most satanists are incredibly myopic and the title itself has lost all meaning to me. Still, I have a difficult time tempering my new found views with rationality and practicality. Admittedly, I have been duped by those who I allot my own personal power to. The world is full of teachers, but I've been quick to raise those teachers to a godly status, which hasn't served me well at all.
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#1294 - 10/29/07 03:03 AM Good Question! [Re: Asmedious]
Dakindas Offline
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Registered: 10/20/07
Posts: 24
Loc: The Web
Hmmm.

HMMMMM.

By what yardstick do we measure ourselves?

Satanic traits are tricky, because someones modern satanist is another persons scum bag fuck. I speak to some of the contradictions inherent in popular Satanism. Might is Right is incompatible with LaVeys condemnation of the corrupt white light religions and his critique could easily be extended to modern politics and many other institutions.

In a nut shell, his contempt for hypocracy renders all which fail to uphold the ideals of their mission statements null and void and worth naught but scorn. And yet i've seen some satanists praise those who lie and swindle the gullible for financial, sexual or cultural gain. To me, Antons bible appears to root against that type of thing a promote a what you see is what you get integrity.

Stupidity should be painful (for the stupid) and many take that to mean fuck the stupid, exploit them, ruthlessly if you will it, but if that were what he meant then surely he would be praising the tax exemption 'for profit' nature of the major religions instead of condemning them. How will the truly ignorant experience real existential pain if their gullibility is not exposed to them? It's quite a vague philosophy with the potential for wide dichotomies if the whole cup is to be ingested.

Anyway, I'm in a different situation when it comes to work. I have no career to speak of, dropped out of university and detest a five day working week.

But i wouldn't say that not needing an employer is equal to independence, however. No man is an island. Without an employer you're still dependent on a client pool, unless you mean someone who literally makes vast sums of money by not really doing anything.

On paper, and according to my bank account, i'm a shitkicking wage slave, no doubt. But theres a certain autonomy in what i do.

I'll illustrate.

I work a shit job for shit pay. Quality Assurance Inspector at GMH (Australian wing of GM, automotive industry) but not for GM, it's a third party gig. Casual, but five day weeks are always available should i wish it, though i rarely do.

The company is as dodgy as fuck and they know that i know this so if i don't wish to work on any given day i don't even bother to say "oh. . i'm sick" or "my cat died. . " or anything like that, i just say "yea i'm not interested in working today, call me tomorrow". It's all good, i'm still priority floor staff. Young girls in the office, my non threatening and friendly persona with a rock and roll edge and my ability to liaise on site with the suits (ie, front for the company) helps me operate this way with impunity.

I also do high paying but grueling laborious work for a friend of mine who is a steel fixer (steel reinforcement) by trade, but only when he needs more manpower for the bigger jobs. He pays handsomely, cash in hand, and this supplements my day job nicely.

Additionally i build custom PC systems as i have contacts with a local store who don't charge me any markup but quote me components at wholesale prices. I simply resell these systems for my clients at markup after building them at home (i basically save them $1000+ easy per system and charge $250 - $300 for my services, on average). In fact, as far as i can tell, i'm the cheapest seller of high end systems in the country.

This doesn't happen too often however but i'm looking to change that. Easy money, a small passion of mine too and it's win-win for both myself and the client.

But i'm not at all financially secure, in the sense that i could end all of the above and jet set around the globe fucking gold digging Swedish blondes in hot tubs each weekend. However i have no debts at all. No mortgage, no credit cards, no hire purchase goods. I pay cash or not at all. I don't own land or property. I've never considered this fact to be a problem, i live rather spartan by preference but the 'gotta make money bug' is growing in me of late.

It's a catch 22. I only want money so i don't have to work.

The biggest pang i have upon self reflection is my serious nicotine addiction. It's pretty shocking at times. I'm not even sure if addiction is the right word, i sometimes go days between cigarettes but im prone to serious binge smoking, more often than not.

I can't think of someone else i'd rather be but me. Issues i take tend to exist outside of myself. I'd like more money, a bigger dick and hard abs but that's about it. Oh, back flips, 540 kicks and pro zippo lighter tricks would be nice to pull off too.

Essentially i'm into self improvement and i think fundamentally that is the crux of satanic doctrine. So for me self improvement doesn't mean having more bling then the guy next to me, it's more an existential process with a strong rejection of nihilistic tendencies.

At the same time i often feel rather isolated intellectually. My friends respect me deeply but will also refer to me as nutter or tripper (affectionately) and i often abstain from a social occasion due to a feeling that theres a large gulf between what's going on in my head at the time and what's going on in their heads at the time.

They wanna drink beer, chase skirt or have a LAN party (which is cool, and they're great guys) but i want to read Rome and Jerusalem or Morals and Dogma (or whatever) and muse over effective counter measures should the current covert war against the Western populations by criminal Western elites turn hot.

If i'm not going to enjoy myself then i'd rather abstain than dampen any fun they might have due to my lack of enthusiasm.

On the internet i tend to find more like minds than i have in the flesh. I'm in Australia you see and most aussies are pretty much like your left leaning American soccer mum. Which is fine for them, to each their own, but where is my own? Those Australians i've met who actually are aware of the conspiratorial nature of history are usually closet fascists or raving communists. I abhor both. The 'satanists' i've met would like to spend their time pouring over the Goetia trying to conjure demons to help them get laid or discuss the 'artistry' of the film SAW III. . . (we seriously need a frown smiley).

I'm not sure i've answered your poignant question aside my smoking confession and perhaps the issues i raised with some satanic precepts. However, refreshing myself with Maslow's Hirearchy Of Needs i'd have to say i'm definately self actualised, i'll use wiki's summary to define such a claim.

1, They embrace the facts and realities of the world (including themselves) rather than denying or avoiding them.
2, They are spontaneous in their ideas and actions.
3, They are creative.
4, They are interested in solving problems; this often includes the problems of others. Solving these problems is often a key focus in their lives.
5, They feel a closeness to other people, and generally appreciate life.
6, They have a system of morality that is fully internalized and independent of external authority.
7, They have discernment and are able to view all things in an objective manner

Anything less then the above would be a disgrace to the Self!

And from what i've read from you Asmed i'm suprised you feel differently (about yourself).

Take heed O man and listen! If you want respect then be respectable! If you want the affection of your lust then be desirable! If you seek loyalty from your friends then be ye Honorable! The intangible operates in real time and cannot be denied! Know this! All other avenues are self abusive folly! Wake up! Know yourself!

(I'm reminded here by those spouses who when concerned their partner is attracted to another, become hateful, cold, accusatory and vengeful, which is an utterly absurd and self destructive symptom of weakness and poor self image. The contrast they then create between their bitter selves and the pleasant co worker, neighbor or acquaintance is amplified a thousandfold. Better it is to address where your jealousy comes from, what is the nature of the threat that you feel and why does it threaten you - it is usually something you feel you lack yourself. Therefore amend yourself, show your spouse that you are the finest partner s/he could wish for, because you are. If this, upon truly honest self realisation, is impossible then accept this fact and allow your love to his right to unfettered (read: unobligated) joy should you become convinced s/he seeks it elsewhere.)

Back to you Asmedious, the above and much of this, naturally as this is an open forum, is for whoever is reading.

I believe you've been entirely honest in that you don't like wearing such a false and obligated mask; that your career choice alone humiliates you or forces you to compromise. . . like a check out chick who smiles behind bored-to-hateful eyes as she says "Hi, how are you today?"

I have a certain charisma (and i can tell you do too) and many who know me would say that i'm a 'people person', but there's no way i'd ever work in hospitality, retail or as a public servant in the current system. If it aint real, i don't sell it. I don't just mean the product but my myself, my words and my deeds.

When you say you feel you made a poor career choice, i believe you and empathise.

So, where do i fail?

Hmmm, aside from being an often chronic smoker, the non issue in my view of not owning property (for it's own sake) and the inability right now to offer a concise and cathartic reply in less than two paragraphs i can only say that if i could live again, i might do some things differently, but on the whole i'm my favorite person that i've actually met.

And you all should be too.

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Qui Bono?

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#1296 - 10/29/07 04:15 AM Re: Good Question! [Re: Dakindas]
daevid777 Offline
active member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Hell's Pisshole, Texas
The land and the king are one...

Thanks.
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Where we're going, we don't need roads.

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#1300 - 10/29/07 08:47 PM Re: Good Question! [Re: daevid777]
Dev Samael Daval Offline
stranger


Registered: 09/05/07
Posts: 37
Loc: Toledo, OH
 Quote:
As far as Satanism applies, though, I've gone off the esoteric deep end and begun to explore more metaphysical aspects of where Satanism took me. I'm still very focused on my personal desires and needs, but I've come to realize that if I'm going to call myself "God" there is a certain amount of responsibility and accountability that comes with such a statement. In that respect, I've become more aware and active in social justice, morality, and judgment based on personal experience as opposed to the ten o'clock news and morning paper. The ideal of the self-serving ego-maniacal satanist whose only concern is himself has ceased to be productive. I've gotten a lot more out of life (and a lot more personal wealth and happiness) since I stopped cursing the world and stared actively changing it.


Good counsel.

You sound like the Blue Devil. That can be dangerous around these parts.




The language of reality is metaphor, archetype, color and tone.

In your eternal service,
Dev Samael Daval
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#1394 - 11/03/07 06:14 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Asmedious]
Euronymous Offline
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Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 46
Loc: san diego, ca
First off, I would like to say that I really admire this topic and the way Asmedious was so honest. For me, I fall short in the areas pertaining to true self-reliance. Though I am only 23 years of age, I am accustomed to working for someone else instead of myself. Sometimes, I also fall into the Satanic sin otherwise known as 'counterproductive pride' and I will act in a way that will hurt me later on down the line. For me being a Satanist means being the Master of Yourself and thus by being so, you are the Master of your world and can influence the outside world in accordance with your will. It also means being creative, independent, having wisdom, intellect and having the drive and the desire to put the pieces of the puzzle called Life in the places that you want them to fit.
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" And in the secret caves of my wisdom, it is known that there is no God but Me. "

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#1395 - 11/03/07 10:49 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: Euronymous]
TornadoCreator Offline
member


Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
Irritatingly I'm also quite sinful, guilty of 'counterproductive pride'. I refuse to be part of a system which doesn't respect me, therefor I won't cut my hair, shave my beard etc. just to get a job stacking shelves because the managers in this area have a ridicules prejudice based on appearance. My friends have said my chances of employment will increase a lot if I just give in but I won't. I would rather work for myself anyway and have done. Unfortunately I'm not skilled enough to carry on that line of work, so I've gone to college. I will learn. The problem is this pride has damaged my lifestyle for the time being and caused me some rather nasty experiences of which I feel I've learned a lot and grown a great deal from but all the same I would like my current situation to improve.
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If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

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#1415 - 11/04/07 10:41 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut
 Originally Posted By: TornadoCreator
I refuse to be part of a system which doesn't respect me, therefor I won't cut my hair, shave my beard etc.


A real rebel type huh?

 Quote:
just to get a job stacking shelves because the managers in this area have a ridicules prejudice based on appearance.


Be happy stacking shelves if it makes you money...

 Quote:
My friends have said my chances of employment will increase a lot if I just give in but I won't.


I would consider it grabbing my balls and being a man not giving in...

 Quote:
I would like my current situation to improve.


So you are going to school to improve it good for you... Now shave and get a haircut... If that is all it takes to improve your life? Are you just silly or lazy?

peace

~T~
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#1444 - 11/05/07 04:58 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: ta2zz]
TornadoCreator Offline
member


Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
I never said it makes sense, my refusal to cut my hair and shave. However it's all about improving my life and it would make me feel extremely depressed if I find it's true that the only reason I don't have a job is that I have long hair, because I refuse to accept at current, that people are treated as nothing but objects. I know it's true, but I want a job where I have it based on personal merit not the length of my fucking hair.
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If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

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#1448 - 11/05/07 09:13 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: TornadoCreator]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut
 Originally Posted By: TornadoCreator
I never said it makes sense, my refusal to cut my hair and shave.


I know yet you say you would like things to get better and you seem to know the solution…

 Quote:
However it's all about improving my life and it would make me feel extremely depressed if I find it's true that the only reason I don't have a job is that I have long hair, because I refuse to accept at current, that people are treated as nothing but objects.


Do you refuse the truth because it suits your ego to remain correct?

 Quote:
I know it's true, but I want a job where I have it based on personal merit not the length of my fucking hair.


In a perfect world…

So you admit to yourself that you could get a better job by simply cutting your hair and beard, but would be too depressed to admit it as truth… I see your confusion…

Sometimes conforming for the sake of bettering your own life outweighs the need for the ego to win… Of course there are other options like myself find a job that you can basically wear your hair and beard in any style… School yourself and become so needed in your field that your appearance is overlooked… But remember there was only one Einstein and he kept himself presentable until after he achieved his fame…

You out of everyone who has responded to this thread have the easiest answer to correct your problem…

Peace

~T~
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#1464 - 11/05/07 09:38 PM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: ta2zz]
blackdragon31560 Offline
pledge


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 74
Loc: Hell Paso, TX
To Satanism is simply, who your are, so it more self weakness's

hm its not easy for me list my weakness, but there all in process of being improved on. i lack self-reliance, to some point (where i'm living), but i'm working and going to school to change that.

one more is that i loss interest in things fair to easily (which i think is just human, but can do a lot of damage to my overall standing). Like at moment my Current university, i taking a computer programing class's, i've lost interest in it. it's boring and its not something i can see myself doing in the log run. I planning to go back to architecture, i enjoyed its creative input, and can raise my economic standing. i don't know why changed, or do i......

more in traditional satanic weakness, is a lack if athletics. i know i can be in better shape, but with school, work (to help pay for school), and my social life (all of which keep me from posting on the site), well it more like i'm busy living my life, and have no time. most people will just say make time, that is more easily said then done. those still there building or have reached there goal ( though i would think people would have more then one), will be understand more of what i'm talking about.

what else can i say,

BlackDraGon

_________________________
Hatred is gained as much by good works as by evil.

~ Niccolo Machiavelli

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#1466 - 11/06/07 01:50 AM Re: Where do you fail? [Re: ta2zz]
TornadoCreator Offline
member


Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
 Originally Posted By: ta2zz

Sometimes conforming for the sake of bettering your own life outweighs the need for the ego to win… Of course there are other options like myself find a job that you can basically wear your hair and beard in any style… School yourself and become so needed in your field that your appearance is overlooked… But remember there was only one Einstein and he kept himself presentable until after he achieved his fame…


Exactly what I'm attempting. I'm currently self employed, and by that I really mean unemployed because I have a less than steady income so have to register as unemployed in order to claim enough benefits to live off. I am a web designer, however I am entirely self taught. I am currently doing a HND in 'Computing and IT' (for those than don't know a HND is one step below a Degree (BSc) and takes 3 years to complete at 2 days a week meaning I can still work part time).

When I finish my course I will be able to ignore stupid things like overzealous store managers that refuse to hire good people because they don't like the length of their hair. I just don't have a quick solution to help me for the few years before I'm qualified to demand a high wage in my field.
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If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

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