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#1304 - 10/30/07 01:16 AM I seem to attract the mentally unstable.
TornadoCreator Offline
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Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
I've noticed that when it comes to women I seem to attract the mentally unstable, and I mean that literally. I've had a few serious relationships and all the girls I've been with have shown major psychological defects, including some outright delusional, barely functioning in the real world problems.

My last ex was my most serious relationship to date. She was manic depressive, fanatically delusional (she was convinced magic was real and she could talk to the dead, and I don't mean prayer and rituals, I mean throwing fireballs and telekinesis), she had rage issues and she's also a complete nymphomaniac. She was sleeping with another guy while we were engaged so as you can imagine it ended.

Now to give you guys a run down of the way I am.

Ok, I'm new to Satanism in a sense, but not entirely. I've been following a satanist lifestyle now since I was a teenager unknowingly and I think my personality and world views are quite molded by it. I also consider myself quite liberal, I'm a believer in free speech and civil rights, I'm not a big fan of democracy as I believe the average voter is too stupid to know what they want but I'm much more left wing than right.

She seemed to like this, my most recent ex. She liked me because I could survive anything. I looked after me and nothing could get rid of me. I was a "dangerous guy" who didn't let anything bother him.

The only thing that's bothering me now though is this. Why do I attract the psychos? Is this just me or do people similar to me have the same problem? I've yet to have a serious relationship with a girl who hasn't turned out to be a slut and a psychotic. I'd love to know why I can't attract stable people.

So,

What do people think anyway?


PS: I have nothing against people who want to sleep around, feel free, who am I to stop you, but when you're agreeing to a monogamous relationship it's normally expected that you don't sleep with other people.
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#1314 - 10/30/07 09:01 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TornadoCreator]
Carme Offline
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Registered: 09/29/07
Posts: 17
Perhaps you do attract the nutters--I can't agree or disagree based on your post--but don't forget that the decision to keep these women in your life ultimately rests with you. Does your version of the "satanic lifestyle" involve thoroughly analyzing your own actions and choices, or simply chalking up your bad experience to your crazy-chick-magnetism?

Also: I'm trying to convince myself that you're here (at least partially) to better yourself. That's swell. I hope the forums are a useful tool for you. However, this entire post makes you come across as a loser. I think less of people who've shown patterns of stupidity, and your choice to have serious relations with psychotic, disloyal nymphomaniacs really does make you appear stupid (or at least naive). Although it may not matter much in cyberspace, just be aware of the possible image you're projecting to others. It matters (to some, anyway) if you want to be taken seriously.

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#1317 - 10/30/07 09:52 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: Carme]
TornadoCreator Offline
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Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
I understand your criticisms and respect your point of view however I'm not particularly good at noticing those traits in people from past experiences, this may be due to Autism and it's something I'm working to improve as it's one of my definite weak areas. In all honesty, I don't choose to have relationships with people who are mentally unstable, I find myself in relationships with people who ultimately end up revealing themselves to be mentally unstable by which I'm happier with them than without regardless of there lack of cogent thought.

I do not blame the downfalls in life on my relationships, if anything I would say my life benefited hugely from my engagement to Hannah (my last ex), she is a wonderful person and I have no problem admitting that I still love her dearly. She is, however, a mentally unstable person who rarely knows what is going on around her. After living with her for a year I'm surprised she can function in society. Just meeting her she seems eccentric, spending time with her makes you realise she is insane. Unfortunately love rarely follows logic and I fell for her. Hannah did more to improve the quality of my life than any other person other than myself ever did and in return I attempted to do the same for her.

What I'm wondering on is simply this. Self reflexion. Is it a coin-incidence that I have attracted multiple people of this type or is there something of my personality and lifestyle that seems to draw that kind of person towards me? That's the question I want to answer because I think for me to have a healthy love-life I should really be trying to form meaningful relationships with people who are considered clinically sane.

I've recently met an interesting girl and I'm hoping something will develop. I'm in no rush so I'll see what happens with time but so far she doesn't show any psychotic tenancies.

Well, thank you for listening, any comments or criticism is appreciated as this is a rather irritating correlation in my life that could do with change.
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#1319 - 10/31/07 05:32 AM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TornadoCreator]
School Bully Offline
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Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 142
Loc: Melbourne
Women with serious mental issues are nearly always overly sexually promiscuous. Abortion clinics are always full of 'em. They're bad news. Steer clear.
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#1320 - 10/31/07 10:01 AM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: School Bully]
MCSA TEK Offline
pledge


Registered: 09/13/07
Posts: 97
Loc: Orlando Fl USA
Men are hunters by nature. We also function by repeating what we know works. This seems to be hard wired into our systems and we do it automatically. You are simply doing what you know will supply you with a woman.

Let me explain.

You enter a room full of women and immediately, subconsciously rule-out every one of them except the type you have had success with in the past. Its not a conscious decision. You see the other women, you may even talk to them, but you wont attempt to seriously get them.

Eventually you end up heading toward one of "your type". You strike up a conversation and find your no longer uncomfortable or off balance. You know this "type" and the conversation comes natural to you. You use the lines and skills that were successful in the past and because its the same "type", they are being successful again.



Human nature strives for a level of comfort or familiarity. This is why abused women always replace one abusive relationship with another. They can enter a room full of men and in under an hour, find the abusive men in the group. He is her "type".

So, how to break out of this?

Make it a game. Use dice or other random means to locate a type of person. Then date/pick up/talk to, only that type of person for three months. Get to know what works and what doesn't. Then randomly choose again.

Avoid your normal pick up spots. Hit on women in a variety of other places. The grocery store, book store, McDonald's, or gynecologists office. This widens your pool of potabilities.

And most importantly,

Don't immediately rule-out anyone. The most fun I ever had was when I left my comfort zone. In the end, you will never be truly happy with someone you have nothing in common with, but the experience and knowledge you gain from taking these detours, is well worth the effort.

Chris
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#1323 - 10/31/07 12:34 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: MCSA TEK]
TornadoCreator Offline
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Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
MSCA TEK, chears for the advice. It makes a lot of sense, what you've said so I'll give it a chance. I'm currently interested in a girl I met at the pub a week ago and I'm going out with her tonight however I'm going to take it slow as to avoid the chance of starting something up with someone who will ultimately end up like all the other girls I've been with. She seems stable and I've had a few conversations with her, she shows no signs of delusional behaviour, schizophrenia, multiple personalities, anger/rage issues, obsessive compulsive disorder or manic depression. I'll see what happens, if not I'll start chatting people up in the post office or other strange locations.
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#1340 - 11/01/07 02:22 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TornadoCreator]
Samuel Hain Offline
pledge


Registered: 10/06/07
Posts: 62
Loc: arkansas
When we have problems with females in our life, and the problems seem to continue regardless of who we date, then we must realize that they are meeting some need we may even be unaware of.We need to find out what we are radiating that attracts this type of girl.
I used to have a problem of dating ,and falling in love with, strippers. When I did so my life was full of drama and stress, even though the sex was good.Their problems became my problems.The term we are looking for that describes that type is psychic vampires. Always broke, constant ex-boyfriend or ex husband problems, raised in a dysfunctional family, drug or alcohol dependence problems,inability to manage money or stick with a budget,constantly sick or worrying about becoming sick,inability to be faithful to anyone for long...I could go on and on

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#1346 - 11/01/07 09:24 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: Samuel Hain]
TornadoCreator Offline
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Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
Unfortunately I think I may have fallen for another girl who fits my standard M.O.

In this situation she is blunt, hard to offend, speaks her mind and says she doesn't want a serious relationship. HOWEVER. She's never had a boyfriend and is still a virgin (as far as I know) so she's not as of yet a cheat or slut, all previous girlfriends I've had where so I'm holding out some hope for her to prove that women can be decent and worth my time.

I have made efforts to avoid her and keep my options open because I really like this girl and quite frankly I want to fuck her brains out as well, I've gone months without sex and could do with no strings sex, however I wouldn't mind trying for a relationship.

A friend of mine has also expressed a strong interest in this girl, this has caused tension and I decided to be gracious and stand down so he can see if a relationship develops. As much as I really like this girl I don't know if it would be healthy as I imagine the relationship would be similar to others I've had. The only problem I now have is Envy, which I've already expressed a dislike for in another thread. I'm horny, angry and jealous, not good. I don't want my friend hurt and I don't want a doomed or signature relationship but I do want this girl. I just hope this situation is resolved soon because there is no way this can end with everything going well.

At least she's not insane and she's a gorgeous dancer.
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#1348 - 11/01/07 10:24 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TornadoCreator]
Samuel Hain Offline
pledge


Registered: 10/06/07
Posts: 62
Loc: arkansas
As Socrates said: Know Thyself.
Or, as the prophet of the higher man said: He who who command others must first learn to command himself.
Ah , yes. I have been there. The Great Evil! Not the red skinned, horned kind, but the Great Evil that causes so much Hell and mayhem and mischief that dwells underneath a woman's panties! Lmao!

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#1356 - 11/02/07 12:36 AM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TornadoCreator]
Meq Offline
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Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 861
Take a look at Schopenhauer's writings on love and sex, particularly his 'Metaphysics of Sexual Love'.
http://etext.library.adelaide.edu.au/s/schopenhauer/arthur/essays/chapter12.html
A whole chapter of Alain de Botton's 'The Consolations of Philosophy' is devoted to Schopenhauer on love.

It certainly helped me to avoid falling into the illusion of being blinded by another's flaws through letting my heart rule my head.

That work is a good pointer out of destructive romantic feelings and delusions, as a firm basis for establishing more healthy relationships based on friendship, reality, and an objective assessment of one's needs and desires.

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#1451 - 11/05/07 01:47 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TornadoCreator]
Sinistar Offline
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Registered: 10/07/07
Posts: 174
Loc: New York City
Sorry to get off the topic a little bit. I just read Autism and it grabbed my attention. My 3 year old was diagnosed with Autism last year and is currently going through home schooling right now and will age out of it next August and will attend a preschool specializing in teaching kids with Autism.

Anyway, I digress. It looks like you've got great communication skills and I'm hoping that my son develops those same skills one day. Great for you! I'll be happy if my son even has the same problem that you talked about. Take it easy...
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#1453 - 11/05/07 02:35 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: Sinistar]
TornadoCreator Offline
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Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
I don't mean to tell you how to raise your child Sinistar but one thing I would stress is that if you want your child to develop social skills do NOT send them to an Autism Specialist school. Preschool will make little difference, but once they're old enough to attend school they will need to be with ordinary children in an ordinary environment.

I'm no expert on children, I haven't any myself, however having lived with Autism, having many Autistic friends and a cousin with Autism I can claim at least a good level of understanding of the situation I think.

First of all, don't expect him to have friends quickly. He will likely be very solitary and insular at first. He will almost certainly be extremely sure of himself, rarely admitting he is wrong even when he is and often unwilling to accept another point of view without a lot of evidence to back it up. This is a trait I have and something I've seen in a lot of Autistics. He will question everything. He will likely dislike religion, I have yet to meet an Autistic that wasn't Atheist.
Don't worry if he's never have a girlfriend at the age of 16-18, that's relatively normal for Autistics as they find social situations boring and baffling.
Above all, don't treat it as a mental handicap, Autistic people statistically have a higher IQ, mathematic ability, logical mindset and think scientifically. He will likely be intelligent, he'll just lack the social skills to convey his intelligence until he's in his early 20's (late teens if he tries hard to learn social skills that come naturally to others).
If you have any questions on Autism you'd like my input on I'll be happy to answer anything, it's something I enjoy explaining especially as experts on Autism know fuck all about it, (I had a big argument with my A level psychologist about Autism as I told her that most of the things she said where total crap. In the end she said "And what makes you an expert on this subject?", you can likely guess my answer).

By the way, if you're wondering how I know the child is a boy, Autism is so rare in girls that only about 1-2% of all Autism cases are female, I'm simply playing the odds.

As for Paula, thanks for the URL, I found it very interesting and gave me a slightly different perspective to look at.
I'm hoping really that I#'ll be able to relax and take things slowly. Focus on other areas of my life before I worry about a relationship, I just trying to control lust at the moment. It's something that bothers me a lot because I'm in no position really to be dating. I should worry more about stable employment and regimenting my life a little more into something coherent (something I'm hoping Satanism will help with). Then I can think about furthering my romantic goals.

Thanks for the replies though guys. It has helped.
As much as Satanism teaches self reliance and self help before relaying on others, sometimes another perspective can help you identify a severe downfall that needs attention. My personal life and how I approach it, is one such downfall I think.
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#1634 - 11/09/07 03:09 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TornadoCreator]
Succubus666 Offline
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Registered: 10/17/07
Posts: 161
From the occasional bit of reading Iíve done on psychology and relationships over the years, one thing Iíve found that comes up quite often is the fact that the people we attract to us or find ourselves attracted to are often the ones who come with dysfunctions which we ourselves have yet to deal with in our own lives. If you find yourself attracting one mentally unstable woman after another, chances are that you have unresolved issues regarding mental instability and your subconscious desire to fix that projects that very thing into your life. Each new mentally unstable woman you find yourself involved with presents a blank canvas for you to fix a previously unresolved issue, and until you can find a way to resolve or at least acknowledge it you will keep following the same pattern.

Think back to the first woman you ever had serious affection for that was mentally unstable and ask yourself if there is something about that relationship that still feels unresolved. Then seriously consider the possibility that trying to resolve that same issue with other woman of a similar nature doesnít feel like some subconscious attempt to fix that unresolved issue within your own psyche. If you seriously take some time to put some thought into that, youíll be surprised at what you uncover about the nature of your own behavior patterns and what it is youíre really looking for.

I also think itís worth pointing out that hypersexual women often display that behavior pattern out of a compulsive need to cover up or cope with something negative within their own past, thus itís not surprising that issues like depression and instability accompany it. Being a man, youíre prone to thinking with your dick and not your mind when you find yourself in the presence of an over sexualized woman. No one would be shocked if you ignored or completely missed the signs altogether that this person was mentally unstable when faced with the prospect of getting laid.

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#1639 - 11/09/07 06:26 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: Succubus666]
TornadoCreator Offline
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Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
Honestly, the only relation to what you said that could be a connection would be the chance that I'm subconsciously relating my own mental stability with their instability.

Physically speaking I'm a wreck. I've had operations and serious medical problems for years. I've spent a total of 1 tenth of my life in a hospital bed and trust me that's a lot. I do however pride myself on being a stable and intelligent individual. Regardless of what happens to this meat bag I call a body so long as I have my mind I'm happy because that's what defines me. I've always felt that way, even as a child. This could be the reason I seem to attract the mentally unstable, you know, opposites attract (although, saying that, I am Autistic).

One thing I have noticed is that I find I go for girls who are mentally unstable and only realise they're hypersexual after I end up with them and realise they want it more than I do which is always daunting for a guy.
In all honesty, sex is not a high priority for me. I'd rather have a healthy relationship based on trust, comfort, compassion etc. As uncharacteristic as this may sound coming from a guy, I would rather be with a girl I could fall asleep in bed with and feel completely at peace than have a girl who was fantastic in bed, (although as human greed dictates, I'd much prefer to have both). I want to settle down in a relationship. I want to feel love for someone and feel loved in return. I've felt that before and I really kinda miss it, even if she wasn't entirely on this planet.
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#1727 - 11/10/07 10:09 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TornadoCreator]
Carme Offline
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Registered: 09/29/07
Posts: 17
On autism:

You apparently don't know as much as you think you know. First, you keep saying "I'm autistic" as if that should explain everything. It doesn't and it's stupid to think so.

Second: not all children require special schools, but some do. How can you reasonably advise Sinstar that his child--about whom you know virtually nothing--belongs in a regular school? I taught preschool for nearly 3 years and the few mildly autistic children we had were incredibly difficult to deal with. One in particular desperately needed to go to a different school--we simply were not equipped to meet his needs. This is not a rare occurrence and your perpetuating the myth that "normal surroundings" will support a child's development just fine is not beneficial. Again, you don't know what you're talking about, even if you are personally "autistic."

The rest of your rant pertaining to what he should expect of his autistic child is largely crap. I seriously hope anyone who listens to you realizes you're merely talking about yourself and little else. In fact, what you seem to be describing is any Wikipedia-ized description of Asperger's. My SO and another one of my closest friends have both been diagnosed with Asperger's and while you've got the general gist down, they're both very different people and those generalized descriptions are nothing more than... er, well, generalized descriptions. Oh, yes: and one is Wiccan.

Also, Sinstar said his child was a boy. I didn't have to wonder about how you knew that.

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#1734 - 11/11/07 01:01 AM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: Carme]
TornadoCreator Offline
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Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
I never said I was an expert on the subject of Autism however I do know a fair amount about it, considering I am Autistic and so are many of the kids I grew up with considering I went to a special school for 6 months myself.

This however is beside the point. My point is that from what I know of Autism it is difficult to find any "specialist" that knows anything about Autism. I've pulled up 3 professors at degree level on the bullshit they're saying when they teach about Autism. I'm serious, half the stuff they say they know is just made up. Now I realise I'm a different case to Sinstar's child and (via PM's which I'm not going to repeat here) I have given my account of what Autism is like and how to deal with it because I was asked for my opinion. I may not get everything exactly right, everyone is different and let's face it, if you know anything of Autism you already know that I'm not finding it extremely easy to get my point across.

Now I'm lucky. I am a higher functioning Autist which means that I am at the "smartass" end of the spectrum. Well... no not really but close. I am actually quite an intelligent person, I have a natural talent with logic and mathematics and I'm also therefore good at things such as sciences. I do however lack basic skills in the arts and language, which I have tried very hard to overcome. A lower functioning Autist is very different, they often find that they cannot cope with the world around them and although can live very happy lives, from an outside perspective will always seem disengaged from the world and alienated from it. The main thing to consider there is that they have such an uninterested and undeveloped idea of emotion that they probably prefer it that way. Emotions confuse them and numbers, mathematics, geometric shapes etc. comfort them. This is because of the way the brain copes with the deficiencies presented within it (and yes, I've actually studied Autism, I'm not basing all this on personal experience, I have qualifications to back this up).

The fact stands, and my opinion remains, special schools are a waste of time. If he turns out to be higher functioning like myself he will be dragged down by a special school, denied the chance to get proper recognized qualifications and subsequently a job or even a career that he will enjoy. Alternatively he could have lower functioning autism, in which case he'll greatly struggle in standardized school, likely only scraping a pass grade at best, in which case he has achieved his best and he should be praised for it against adversity. The alternative is he goes to the special school and gets a certificate that say "Hey! I can tie my shoe laces" and can kiss goodbye to his future.

Special schools are pointless, any employer or college will look at anything you achieve there and immediately tarnish it with the fact that it was a special school and he therefore must be employing someone with a mental disorder, thus mental defect, thus mentally unstable, thus psychotic, thus AAAAGGGHHH murder us in the cafeteria with a bread knife.... yes, it seem excessive but you know it's not that much of an exaggeration. No employer will employ anyone with "Mentally Disabled" written in the shape of the name of a fucking special school right there in black on white on the damn CV(Resume).
Even if he struggles all throughout school and his only achievement is to make it to the end capable of basic numeracy and literacy at least he can look back with pride that despite his differences he managed something that others would never expect. I would personally want to give him that chance. THAT is why I justify telling Sinstar that I think special school would be a bad idea, if it's not a good enough explanation for you Carme then fuck you, I was asked for my opinion and I gave it. It's an opinion nothing more, but at least it's one made from an informed and experienced point of view.

Oh, and I know I keep saying "I'm autistic" and most people here won't know what that means... LOOK IT THE FUCK UP DICKHEAD!!! If you don't know what something is then do some research and stop expecting someone to explain every single term they use, I'm not your bloody parent. Yes it's stupid to expect everyone to know what it means but it's not stupid to expect people to know how to download a medical journal, open a book or even just type a word into Wikipedia now is it? Even if you don't want to do that you could, politely (unlike you did Carme) PM me and ask me what the hell autism is, I'd be happy to explain it or forward you information pertaining to the subject. If you're going to attack someone based on the fact that they treated the rest of the community with respect, dignity and intellect by assuming they could work an encyclopedia then you should really think twice about making it known to that self same community, you may upset people when they notice that your effectively accusing them of being as stupid and ignorant as yourself.

And one final point. You know an Asperger's Wiccan correct? How does that pertain to any single point in this entire fucking conversation or was it just another additional piece of diarrhea that you felt like sharing with us.

Thank you and goodnight.

PS: Anyone (with the obvious exception of Carme), who was offended by my excessive tone I apologise, I've not had a particularly pleasant day and this person pissed me off.
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#1749 - 11/11/07 02:30 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TornadoCreator]
Carme Offline
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Registered: 09/29/07
Posts: 17
Hey Mr. Aspiring Satanist: you're not being rational, articulate, intelligent, or logical here. Maybe next time instead of making an ass of yourself you'll wait until you're in a clamer state of mind before responding to someone. "Thank you and goodnight?" Home fry, you have little to be proud of with this one. Strive to do better...

To put it in very blunt and simple terms: you're taking your personal experiences with what it means to be a person with high-functioning autism and applying it to "people with autism" in general. You keep saying that you're not an expert and that your opinions are just based on your experience, yet you claim to have put experts in their place and have "bested" all of these degree-level professors by pointing out their lack of true understanding. You emphasize the former yet get pissed off when I tell you it's moronic to do so?

I've worked in normal preschools. I've worked with teachers who've worked in those "special schools" you feel are a waste of time. Based on what I've learned from them there's a huge difference in how the child develops--and, much more often than not, it's a positive one. This is where my opinions come from: personal and borrowed experiences. Now, you claim to have studied autism and have mentioned "medical journals" and the like. Can you back up your assertion that specialized schools are a waste of time--you stated it as "fact" if I recall correctly--and do not positively benefit children? That's the whole basis of your argument, isn't it--that people should not place their autistic children (higher functioning or not) in environments where people are trained to meet their needs?

 Quote:
And one final point. You know an Asperger's Wiccan correct? How does that pertain to any single point in this entire fucking conversation or was it just another additional piece of diarrhea that you felt like sharing with us.


In your enlightening post on what it means to be autistic, you said that Sinstar's son will likely dislike religion and that you hadn't met someone who was autistic and not Atheist. Asperger's is a kind of autism. My good friend is quite into his religion. This was one of the ways in which I attempted to illustrate how full of crap your last post was in any kind of objective, rational sense. For someone who claims to be good with logic, that one flew right over your head.

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#1765 - 11/11/07 06:22 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: Carme]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
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Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
I hate to be piss anty, but I find it interesting that this thread started out with Tornado Creator complaining that he attracks women with mental problems, only for it to come full circle and find out he also has mental problems.

 Originally Posted By: TornadoCreator
on attracting women: Is it a coin-incidence that I have attracted multiple people of this type or is there something of my personality and lifestyle that seems to draw that kind of person towards me?


It's funny how you failed to mention your autism in the beginning. I'm not sure how many, even tempered, 'nice' girls are going to want to get into a relationship with someone that has serious emotional problems of their own. The blind leading the blonde maybe?

Maybe you should try being upfront with inteded women and ask them directly if they are wanting a monogamous relationship in the early days. Very few people can lie well when faced with a bald faced question.

Having some issues of your own, should make you realise that none of us are perfect and that you are going to have to accept some faults in a mate, probably emotional ones.

Zeph
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#1778 - 11/11/07 09:24 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: ZephyrGirl]
TornadoCreator Offline
member


Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
Fair point Zeph, and one that I do generally adhere to. I've made a point of making sure people are aware of my Autism before any relationship goes on, all my long term girlfriends bar one knew of my Autism before we started dating and the one that didn't only didn't know for the first two weeks and then it came up in conversation. I'm normally friends with the girls I date for a few weeks before hand so therefore they are exposed to how I am right from the start.

There is however one small difference between mental stability and mental disorders. I would have no problem with dating someone with Autism, Asperger's (which although related to Autism is very different) etc. or someone who was Dyslexic or Dyspraxic for example. Yes it's seems like nothing compared to Autism but really all it is is another mental disorder. Mental stability is different though. Someone violently changing moods unexpectedly or someone convinced they can speak with the dead. People who blindly believe in "crystal therapy" and people who show signs of involuntary rage are not the same at all. Yes, it's a gray area, and one people will likely disagree with me on but as far as I'm concerned mental instability is something that seems to form for no good reason in what where previously normal rational people, this irks me quite a lot, and it's these people who I seem to attract.
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#1821 - 11/12/07 09:44 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TornadoCreator]
Belial 666 Offline
lurker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 4
Loc: Texas
Considering this world is a virtual barrel of bad apples from which we must sift through diligently, I find it no surprise when I hear of this kind of situation.

I can relate to this as I too have experienced my share of "crazies" when it comes to female companions.

It's of my opinion that they seem to latch on to whomever appears to have any sence of direction in life in hopes of some of it rubbing off on themselves. They seem to share in the delusion that intelligence, security & stability is something to be caught like the flu rather than manifested by ones own abilities & mental development.

Most of these women have one thing in common - they've all experienced abuse in the past (be it by other persons or by thier own hand). Some put on a facade of having "thick skin" or a been there, done that attitude. They have many war stories & maybe even a few battle scars to show for these experiences yet fall flat when asked the reasons for why thier self-destructive cycle continues.

Thier naivety & masochistic ways are just as foreign to me as my honesty & clarity is to them. Sometimes by way of open & blunt conversation we can hold a mirror in front of them & get them to witness (if not completely understand) thier ways & lack of self awareness. More often though our efforts are seen as critical & maybe even selfish.

We've all heard the saying "love is blind" - yet is it? Could we possibly be looking beyond the mental instabilities which plague these women & see a ray of light at the end of the tunnel that makes this constant battle all worth while?

Something keeps us around them. Sometimes it's our lack of judgement, other times it's these hidden qualities which surface just long enough to make us think twice about giving up on them. My common sence tells me it could very well be the former, my ego suggests it might be the latter.

One has to ultimately do what's best for themselves. If a relationship (in any form) is taking a toll on your lifestyle because of being burdened with the problems of others, you have to evaluate the circumstances & eventually come to a rational conclusion.

As for why you, myself & many others experience these situations...I couldn't say exactly. It could be we go head first into these relationships with too much optimism & not enough discretion. Sometimes we grab the most attractive package only to be taken aback later on by its contents.
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#2376 - 11/28/07 03:59 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: Carme]
Circus_Hell Offline
stranger


Registered: 09/10/07
Posts: 34
Loc: Sydney Australia
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

That's quite a hostile response Carme! It seems as though TC was sharing some insight according to his "own personal experiences". and there is nothing wrong with giving support. I would like to add that I have three autistic people in my life. All completely different, I'm also a trained nurse,(although now I'm studying medicine) and I've seen Autism in many forms. It's like epilepsy, or dementia. There's no general rule because each person is an individual. It is referred to as an umbrella condition. Do they tell you that as teachers college?

As a teacher, you are required to be supportive and empathetic.You are meant to source options for special needs kids and present those options to the parents. You however, are self righteous and subjective. Probably better you find another career, the thought of you pushing your arrogance onto such beautiful minds in their purest state is quite a concern.

Do you have any of your own children, and if so are the suffering a disability of any kind?

So what if you are a pre school teacher? Hardly makes you an expert on the human race!!!! Many teachers are in teaching jobs because they can't cut it in the adult world.
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#5279 - 03/11/08 09:21 AM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TornadoCreator]
DaVinci Offline
member


Registered: 02/09/08
Posts: 218
Loc: Australia
I don't think religion or preference has anything to do with it. I've been cheated on by both of the two major serious relationships I have ever had. Both girls could not handle the lifestyles I lead. And as much as I hate to bring this up, but it all comes down to the Military lifestyle -- for me it is perfect, but I move alot and can leave for up to months on end. Especially when doing duties overseas, when I could be gone for up to 12 months; though that has yet to happen, thankfully.

Both of these two girls were more then Mentally Unstable. My last ex (I've had a few since her) was raped at 13, kept the child, had a mother who was a passive liar, a step-father who had everything done for him as a teenager and can't handle the real world, a brother with whom I remain good mates with, and a sister who has had Family Services called on her more times than I can remember -- and likes to smoke pot while leaving her 2 daughters with the mentally unstable and lying mother.

My first serious relationship was with the girl I lost my virginity too. We were 13, young and fucking stupid -- and as it was my first serious relationship, I was concerned and developed trust issues. Issues that remain with me to this present day. While her boyfriend was in Perth, I was "hooking in" because I didn't like the prick as he was responsible for selling heroin to my little brother -- who, is just as stupid for buying the bloody crap, but he learned his lesson. Upon his return, she was sleeping with him behind my back. In response to this cheating I beat the crap out of him. My own fault really, but still -- he deserved it.

Ever since I have always attracted girls with fucked-up backgrounds, or those with the mental capacity of a 5 cent coin. However, the tide has turned and I have now been flirting with the check-out chick at my local IGA Supermarket, and we've been close for some time now and do plan on 'taking things further' in the near future. This has only risen because when handing her cash for cigarettes one day, I slipped a paper note underneath one of my dollar bills, which had the simple words "You're absolutely beautiful."

I think if you want a change in your romantic scene, you have to act more on instinct and less on 'feelings' -- as I've never had the courage to approach any woman like that, but little things like that can make all the difference. Surprise yourself and go for someone completely unexpected -- "Go with the wind."
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"In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." - Josť Narosky

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#5283 - 03/11/08 10:44 AM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: DaVinci]
TornadoCreator Offline
member


Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
That's an interesting idea actually DaVinci. I would be interested to see what would happen if I was to actively seek relationships with girls who I normally wouldn't but the problem is my lifestyle. I am in significant debt, unemployed civvy life, part time military living in a town of 40,000 people, (which means little opertunity to meet anyone new). Few people fit into that set, especially as I would only feel confortable dating an Atheist, unfortunately the minority in the UK.
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#5293 - 03/11/08 12:23 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TornadoCreator]
DaVinci Offline
member


Registered: 02/09/08
Posts: 218
Loc: Australia
I can understand that. I lived in Canberra up until I was about 15, then I joined the Army and got posted to Holsworthy. Canberra in itself is a very small place -- and while it has a population of about 300,000 -- it was still difficult in a sense to meeting anyone "new" or anyone who had not already conformed to the styles of the Nation's Capital.

Lifestyle I think is always a rather difficult problem, and while I'm no relationship guru, I've always found the best tactic is to go for someone completely unexpected. The quiet type are more what I prefer, but then your taste may differ and you may prefer the more out-going types. Like I said, just surprise yourself. Go for something totally new and unexpected, and give it your whole heart. You might be surprised what can actually eventuate..
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"In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." - Josť Narosky

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#5412 - 03/12/08 07:24 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: DaVinci]
TheMask Offline
member


Registered: 03/10/08
Posts: 130
I havent read through the thread post by post so i dont know if this has been said already. But isnt there some truth in that we acttract people similiar to ourselves by mere instinct?

You may not be the same type of mental condition as the womens you have met but you both have a mental condidition different from the majority.
Whether it is someone who is Manic Depressive or has Autism it is still a mental "defect" (depends on how you view it, there are upsides to your mental illness and others) and maybe it is this that attracts you to each other even if your conditions are far from the same.

You may not even have to know that the other person has a mental "defect", like i said it could be mere instinct and maybe the subconscious picks up things that indicate this as well.

Thats just a theory, i hope i got my point across.

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#5417 - 03/12/08 07:45 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TheMask]
DistroyA Offline
member


Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 478
Loc: Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, UK
 Originally Posted By: TheMask
I havent read through the thread post by post so i dont know if this has been said already. But isnt there some truth in that we acttract people similiar to ourselves by mere instinct?

You may not be the same type of mental condition as the womens you have met but you both have a mental condidition different from the majority.
Whether it is someone who is Manic Depressive or has Autism it is still a mental "defect" (depends on how you view it, there are upsides to your mental illness and others) and maybe it is this that attracts you to each other even if your conditions are far from the same.

You may not even have to know that the other person has a mental "defect", like i said it could be mere instinct and maybe the subconscious picks up things that indicate this as well.

Thats just a theory, i hope i got my point across.


That's possibly a similar case with myself. I have a learning difficulty similar to Asperger Syndrome called Semantic Pragmatic Disorder, and I suffer from depression a bit these days. I've attracted certain individuals who seem to have certain qualities that would be considered negative in today's society.

My first girlfriend was going through a depressive stage in her life when I started dating her. The second woman I managed to attract (but not establish a relationship with sadly) seems to be somewhat unstable, and the last girl I was with was a depressive of the worst kind. No passion, no drive, a lack of compassion also. That relationship was a mistake, and I'm happier without. Another girl I managed to attract seemed quite unstable, but was constantly whining and putting herself down. And she wonders why I didn't want to be with her in a romantic sense....

Still, these people are somewhat nice people. Particularly the former two I mentioned.

I think what I'm trying to say now is that no matter what issues a girl has, the old saying of "no-one is perfect" springs to mind. We all have issues we have to deal with. So long as the issues are dealt with constructively, that's all that matters.

As for the conditions being "defects", I find that a wee bit insulting. I prefer "difficulties" personally. Thing is, people who have these learning difficulties and other mental disorders were born with them or they developed over time (depending on what you refer to...), so calling them defects is like persecuting them for being what they were born like. It's almost like giving a black man grief just because he's different looking through genes and DNA.

Sorry if you feel that I'm getting angry with you TM. I'm not. I'm just pointing certain things out for future reference.
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"A man chooses, a slave obeys." - Andrew Ryan of Ryan Industries (Bioshock)

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#5424 - 03/12/08 08:26 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: DistroyA]
TheMask Offline
member


Registered: 03/10/08
Posts: 130
Yes, you are completely right. Im sorry. I dont see mental illness as a "defect", i just had a problem with finding the right words for it.

To be frank some mental illnesses have their upsides. Some Autism enables the person to learn certain things incredibly fast and be very good at them. Its not all bad.
I dont think bad about the mentally ill - In some cases its quite the opposite.


Edited by TheMask (03/12/08 08:27 PM)

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#5425 - 03/12/08 08:29 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: TheMask]
DistroyA Offline
member


Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 478
Loc: Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, UK
The funny thing with autistic people and people who have a condition similar to an autistic one are more creative in a sense.

And don't worry about it. Sometimes I can't find the right words to describe some things, so no harm done. ;\)
_________________________
"A man chooses, a slave obeys." - Andrew Ryan of Ryan Industries (Bioshock)

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#5427 - 03/12/08 08:40 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: DistroyA]
TheMask Offline
member


Registered: 03/10/08
Posts: 130
Yes, i know a guy over the internet with Borderline/Bipolar syndrome and he also has periods where he is very creative with things apparently due to the condition.
Hes also very intelligent and smart, i think its a bit due to the disease. The depression of it causes you to be a bit more realistic.

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#5428 - 03/12/08 08:42 PM Re: I seem to attract the mentally unstable. [Re: Belial 666]
DistroyA Offline
member


Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 478
Loc: Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, UK
 Originally Posted By: Belial 666
It's of my opinion that they seem to latch on to whomever appears to have any sence of direction in life in hopes of some of it rubbing off on themselves. They seem to share in the delusion that intelligence, security & stability is something to be caught like the flu rather than manifested by ones own abilities & mental development.

Most of these women have one thing in common - they've all experienced abuse in the past (be it by other persons or by thier own hand). Some put on a facade of having "thick skin" or a been there, done that attitude. They have many war stories & maybe even a few battle scars to show for these experiences yet fall flat when asked the reasons for why thier self-destructive cycle continues.


You've just described my most recent ex-girlfriend's attitude to a T.

Thanks for that. I had much entertainment from it. \:\)
_________________________
"A man chooses, a slave obeys." - Andrew Ryan of Ryan Industries (Bioshock)

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