Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies
1 cup water
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups dried fruit
1 (750 ml) bottle tequila (Jose Cuervo or your other favorite brand)
1. Sample the tequila to check quality.
2. Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
3. Pour one level cup tequila and drink.
4. Turn on the electric mixer.
5. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
6. Add one peastoon of sugar.
7. Beat again.
8. At this point it's best to make sure the tequila is still ok, so try another cup just in case.
9. Turn off the mixerer thingy.
10. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in=2 0the cup of dried fruit.
11. Pi ck the frigging fruit off the floor.
12. Mix on the turner
13. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
14. Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.
15. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.
16. Who geeves a sheet.
17. Check the tequila.
18. Add one table.
19. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
20. Whatever you can find.
21. Greash the oven.
22. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
23. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
24. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the quetila and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.
25. Cherry Mistmas !
Beer, the reason I get up every afternoon.