#20078 - 02/10/09 12:34 PM
Re: Polyamorous Relationships
[Re: Diavolo]
|
Succubus666
member
Registered: 10/17/07
Posts: 161
|
Personally I think normal relations are already complicated enough and adding more will only make it more complex.
When I started this thread I decided to go with the word “polyamorous” rather than “polygamist” because the latter would imply being committed to more than one person. I only have commitments to one person, the rest are there for sexual and intellectual pleasure. I don’t necessarily think that having these interactions with other people will complicate things anymore than having more friends would complicate things. In some manners I just happen to have very specific types of friendships. As a side note, I definitely think it’s something that LaVey would give his seal of approval to.
If it all falls apart in the future, so be it. It could still fall apart even if you totally commit to one partner.
I completely agree with you on that. Relationships do get boring and tedious over time. Sooner or later you have to do things to spice it up, explore new boundaries and so forth. Recently I have been giving more and more consideration to what it would be like to be single again, whether it would give me a greater sense of freedom and peace. Honestly I was a bit surprised by many of the responses here leaning toward the thought of impending failure. There really is something to be said for unbiased opinions.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#20091 - 02/10/09 08:24 PM
Re: Polyamorous Relationships
[Re: Morgan]
|
Succubus666
member
Registered: 10/17/07
Posts: 161
|
I don't think this is a true statement.
Some people have been with the same person their whole life. I can look back at my ansetors in my family as examples of that.
I think the real question would be whether or not they wanted to stay with only one partner, or if they only did so only because the evolution of our species eventually made mating more convenient in that manner. Do you think that none of your ancestors had affairs? Would they really have let it out in the open if they were swingers? It’s safe to say they likely fantasized about other people. And if you go back to tribal times, all the women wanted to mate with the alpha male, the best hunter and provider. It was primal instinct to do that, and that was what women in many tribes did. Even those with mates often found their way into the alpha male’s bed, wanting to be the bearer of the greatest seed.
Maybe because I am older, I dont see the use in one night stands. I'm over that. I have my friends for intellectual pleasures.
I am much more picky and desire the best of both worlds thus a Lover with a Brain or no deal.
Since the relationship with my boyfriend became open, I have honestly given no thought to having a one night stand. The people I have become involved with on a sexual level are people I respect on an intellectual level and would also consider friends. So I know what you mean. A pretty body does nothing for me unless there is some sort of intelligence attached to it.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#20094 - 02/10/09 10:30 PM
Re: Polyamorous Relationships
[Re: Succubus666]
|
daevid777
active member
Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Hell's Pisshole, Texas
|
I hate to sound like an old boring fart on this, but I'm gonna do it anyway...
I need some ammo first:
I agree with Diavolo on this:
In my view sexual or intellectual interactions that go deeper than the 'hit and run' type are relations. They might not be as 'deep' or 'serious' as what people consider a real relation but eventually they'll suffer the same problems. Personally I think that even having friends is complicated.
To me, "intellectual stimulation" plus good times plus sex = relationship... no matter how you slice it. Placing all this in some sort of hierarchy is a difficult task, I'm sure. I will recant my previous statement of "impossible", but I will say "a hell of a lot of "work"...
And what Morgan posted:
I would much rather be with one stable person than many.
"Crazies" can be good times... but again, more issues, more things to consider... more "work"... that can get old quick as well. Shooting stars... lots of wishes, but it just burns out.
And, now forgive me once again:
And if you go back to tribal times, all the women wanted to mate with the alpha male, the best hunter and provider. It was primal instinct to do that, and that was what women in many tribes did.
In a "serious, long term relationship", here's how it works - Guy's (*ahem*)... you're the Alpha male. You have been the Alpha male since the thing started, if you're in a "monogamous" relationship. You are the chosen one. Now it's your job to see that you remain that way - you've already done something right, so try to remember why she liked your sorry ass in the first place... if it's just for looks, you're pretty much fucked.
Otherwise, you've got to be smarter ever day, more caring everyday, stronger every day, you've got to be a provider, a poet, an intellect, an amateur astromoner, a good cook, an excellent masseuse, and a professional porn star - you've got to give her all your attention when she needs it, and leave her the fuck alone when she needs it, and you need to know the difference of the two, you need to bring her flowers, and jewelry, candy and puzzles, you have to be a comedian, and you need to know how to write and spell, you need ambition, but it can't interfere in your personal life. You need to know about her interests, and educate her on yours. You need to be able to watch her favorite TV shows, and try for the life of you to enjoy them as well. You need to give her space, but you need to be always where she can reach you if she really needs you.
I'm only writing this from one perspective... so if you too want a special relationship, then you will be the Alpha male, and she will be your Alpha Female, and nothing can stop you... oh yeah, and no one's going to fuck with her man - she'll attack a man twice her size for you, and will stop at nothing to keep you with her.
It's a lot of work as well, and it's not for everyone, but this too, is not impossible...
Not into that? - one night stand doesn't sound so bad...
_________________________
Where we're going, we don't need roads.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#20101 - 02/10/09 11:18 PM
Re: Polyamorous Relationships
[Re: ZephyrGirl]
|
daevid777
active member
Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Hell's Pisshole, Texas
|
Well, Zeph...
Here I am... ta Dah..!!!
kidding... well, I don't know, I'm just glad I'm looking at that horrid ass-ugly dog on the image thread, instead of slipping back into madness... 
"Alpha males" get their assumed title in other "nature" by simply being the strongest, which, animalistically (a word?) is quite suiting. The strongest Lion offers security and protection, and that protection is certainly worth a good shagging.
In "Human" nature, the "Alpha male" is often regarded in terms of this same animalistic nature, however wrongly so, in my opinion.
Although there still remains certain "primal aspects", Sympathetic nervous system, etc., the word "strength" might have different connotations in humans. More money (protection/security) - as defined by a nice home, an expensive car, clothing; social/political status. Physical strenght - Kung Fu Master (I loved that game)... whatever.
The human "heart", I say in quotes with great care, is indeed a fickle and different organ altogether. Physical attractiveness often plays a part, but sensitivities, vanities, "love"...
I was just offering my advice - I hope some take it. I've very limitedly offered this advice in private, and I hope if some male readers are actually "looking for love", they might just listen enough to get something out of it.
Women aren't safe in this as well, just because I was focusing on a "man's work"... you ladies gotta step up, too.
By saying all of this, I'm totally wrecking the "polyamorous thread" to hell, and I apologize.
Perhaps some enlightened one will bring us back on topic, sorry for the sideshow interruption - not you Zeph, your post was totally applicable, I think. And thanks.
_________________________
Where we're going, we don't need roads.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
Moderator: Woland, Mercury_Templar, fakepropht, Nemesis, SkaffenAmtiskaw, Morgan, Bacchae, Diavolo, Asmedious, Fist
|
|
