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#20926 - 02/21/09 02:53 AM Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Master Magick]
daevid777 Offline
active member

Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Chattanooga Area, TN

Girl... please go back and read your initial posts, and your sense of "optimism", and recall all the replies...

It's all about you anyway - and your "man-friend", although possibly present, has taken the backstage evident in your posts...

He's just not "there" anymore. He may be there, in reality, but your focus has gone all ape-shit over this girl - he no longer exists in the thread - I wonder what his real place is in your life now.

Go Lesbian! Get rid of the guy now, before you hurt anyone else... the vampire Morgan mentioned... is quite possibly YOU.

Good luck.... and you can't say you weren't warned.
Where we're going, we don't need roads.

#21678 - 03/07/09 08:20 AM Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: daevid777]
joseph oreilly Offline

Registered: 01/29/09
Posts: 58
Mormons used to be down with it, Brig Ham Yung the original estiblisher of the first mormon conerbation spanned a total of 12 wives, personally I find it strange how mormonism ties in with the opening of the opium era in america and freemasonry.
#21691 - 03/07/09 11:30 AM Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Succubus666]
Falhalterra37 Offline

Registered: 03/04/09
Posts: 11
Loc: Missouri, USA.
I've always been a radical mentally, as I support polygamist and 2+ people marriages. I could never be involved in polygamy though. The only way to explain that, even though I am bi and I yearn for both sexes, is that I'm more dedicated to who I love. It isn't all about sex like it used to be in my head, and yeah, I'm still a virgin. You can refer to me as a hypersexual then. I can't see myself ever in a relationship with a woman, and I tend to hate woman sometimes. I'm bored with my age-group's drama and stupidity, and it seems the women I am attracted to in that group just do not find interest in what I find interest in. I can see me having a sexual relationship with a woman, but nothing else.

I've always been more of a daddy's girl, so I tend to lean more with the guys. My boyfriend provides enough of what I need; he even has a feminine/masculine side, which helps a whole lot.

The only advice I have is...if the main is starting to move out of your life or focus because of this girl, you might have to consider re-thinking what is happening here, or cut off from him.
But more power to your choice. I just hope you do not regret it.
A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

#21951 - 03/12/09 10:53 PM Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Succubus666]
Carme Offline

Registered: 09/29/07
Posts: 17
I've been involved as the "secondary" in an open/polyamorous for little over a year now. Aside from the best sex I've ever had, he's my best friend.

We've seen our fair share of jealousy, tears, arguments, insecurity, miscommunications, misunderstandings, and a slew of other "nasties" which typically occur in any kind of meaningful relationship. We've worked (and continue to work) through them. It's one of the most open, positive relationships I've been exposed to. Sometimes I'm blown away by how fortunate I am to have found such a nifty dude.

I think it's exceedingly hard for most people to believe that such relationships can bring happiness, but I'm throwing in my two cents to show these more "unconventional" relationships a positive light.

They aren't for everyone... but then again I can't stand being with men who are jealous and can't rationalize why. Men who don't seek to understand their actions and beliefs, but rather go with societal norms because it's easier. Men who lack the ability to be open and straightforward and more than willing to talk. Men who--for lack of a better term--want me to be their primary, or their "everything," when I am much too independent for that.

As an aside, I'd totally recommend _The Ethical Slut_ for anyone interested in poly relationships. I've even suggested it for my monogamous friends who are dealing with jealousy issues and it seemed beneficial to them. Lots of good stuff in there.

#21963 - 03/13/09 05:40 AM Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Carme]
daevid777 Offline
active member

Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Chattanooga Area, TN
I guess I'd be all for another woman on the side, for my woman... and I'd be willing to talk just fine.

New dick in the situation, there is no situation. No need for talk. I'm done. Buh bye.
Where we're going, we don't need roads.

#33842 - 01/11/10 06:11 AM Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Succubus666]
Baron dHolbach Offline

Registered: 12/29/09
Posts: 162
I'm a zero-amorist. Having been married twice, both times for six years, and having now lived mate-free for fourteen years, I am very clear on my preference. I want no one but me to have any say (even an unofficial one) in any of my decisions on any subject! I am a very happy monad. The last thing on Earth that I would ever indulge in is polyamory! \:\)

As an aside, I'll note that I don't currently live alone, as my graduate student daughter is living with me. But that works just fine for me, because the situation isn't by any means a democracy. I do as I wish and she adjusts. I also hand her tons of money on request but hey, that's my choice!

The dominance of the alpha male in a wolf pack is most often expressed in just the way I've described: the alpha male does as he wishes and the rest of the pack adjusts. I can function happily as the alpha male wolf or as a lone wolf. Nothing else works for me.

A simple example is that my condo association assigns one numbered parking space to each condo. I take that space. My daughter parks in an unnumbered one. We didn't have to discuss this. No other scenario ever occurred to either one of us. This is the power differential that I prefer always to have!

I sometimes think I should try the dominant/submissive lifestyle as a top, but I'm fairly certain I would lose interest pretty quickly, as being a top requires a lot of energy, and most of the time I would rather invest my energy in whatever I feel like doing at the moment, with no regard for anyone else. My bottom would mutiny! \:\)

So for me it's zero-amory all the way!
The baboon is the soul of man.

#35839 - 02/19/10 08:57 PM Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Succubus666]
contragenic Offline

Registered: 02/10/10
Posts: 9
Loc: Phoenix,Az
I highly recommend reading"the Ethical Slut" by Dossie Easton. This book is written by an expert and it covers every possible pitfall and etiquette on the subject.The more you know the more you can share honey,life truly is too short for fantasies.
#35879 - 02/21/10 02:28 AM Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Baron dHolbach]
Fist Moderator Offline
veteran member

Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 1453
Loc: B'mo Cautious MF
The dominance of the alpha male in a wolf pack is most often expressed in just the way I've described: the alpha male does as he wishes and the rest of the pack adjusts.

That might work well for canids but that is not the way things work in human clans. In man, the Alpha Male is expected to be a leader - in other words, lead by example. For the Alpha to maintain his position he must do things that benefit the group. A simple neolithic example would be where the Alpha is the bravest and best hunter. He fearlessly rushes head long with his spear toward and animal that out weighs him by 2000lbs. While he alone is unlikely to take down a bison in this fashion, his courage steels his mates and they too charge, causing multiple deep puncture wounds that ultimately bring down their prey. For his bravery is often given the best cuts and first dibs on the kill. Of course, as a good leader he shares his bounty with his tribe lauds his fellows in their actions to bring such a prize to the rest of the tribe.

Unfortunately, in modern society very few know how to act like a true Alpha Male.
I am the Devil and I am here to do the Devil's work.

#39512 - 06/23/10 07:12 AM Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Succubus666]
Meq Offline
active member

Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 861
The Power Dynamics of Cheating: Effects on Polyamory and Bisexuality

This PDF article is a worthwhile read for anyone interested in Polyamory and the challenges faced pursuing polyamorous relationships in a culture of monogamy.

Its analysis of cultural attitudes which equate polyamory with cheating, and see it as inevitably doomed to fail, is in my view pretty insightful - whether or not you agree with its conclusions.


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