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#22572 - 03/26/09 10:53 AM A wonderful sense of peace....wtf?
97and107 Offline
member


Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 267
Loc: New Mexico
Okay this is strange

I just went through this horrible breakup - just a completely confusing mess, and all of this while still recovering from a divorce...I'm sure everyone here knows the fucking drill.

Everything else in my life is going great and I'm like in so much pain over this relationship. so I finally start going over a little bit of Satanic literature again, you know, revisiting a few things by Lavey and so on - and the precepts most Satanists hold dear - self-love, embracing life, rampant sexuality, Atheism, dark evil imagery...

and this strange sense of peace just washes over me and it feels like I can conquer anything...it's just so strange and wonderful

Sometimes you don't know what you have until you miss it - I think I owe a lot to Satanism and that's why I keep the faith of no faith at all...

Isn't that strange? it's like a Christian describing how wonderful it was finding Jesus...except instead of finding out Jesus loves me, I find out god doesn't exist, nobody gives a shit and death is the end of me

and it feels fantastic!

LOL

I think Lavey must have been right, Satanists are born, not made...because everyone else but a Satanist would think I have lost my damned mind. Sects of Hinduism and Buddhism work a lot with the concept of self-control and dissolution, but rarely with a focus on attaining power and celebrating life (with the exception of Ravana, Sri lanka's most powerful demonic king)

Anyways, time will tell...it has made me a bit curious about Satanism again...I am one but you know, when you really don't give a fuck it's supposed to be easy to put Satanism on the backburner instead of going to churchy wurchy like a good little religious shithead...

\:\)

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#22573 - 03/26/09 10:56 AM Re: A wonderful sense of peace....wtf? [Re: 97and107]
BaronVonShankly Offline
member


Registered: 03/23/09
Posts: 168
Loc: London
I find the teachings give me power to get on with my own life. As in it gives me the tools to think that if I dont snap myself out of somthing no one else will. It really helped pull myself together after i split with my fiance.
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#22588 - 03/26/09 04:24 PM Re: A wonderful sense of peace....wtf? [Re: 97and107]
MaggotFaceMoe Offline
member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 164
Loc: Finland
I can relate to that. In my case it's been when everything seems to collapse around me and some relationships are about to be broken, when after a while I realised that I was not dependant of them and my world would actually remain the same even if they were gone. Of course letting go is painful every time, but it can also be so empowering, it is a new chance to re-discover self. I have noticed that relationship in a way makes you feel dependant and reduces the amount of how much of your own capacity you use. Maybe because relationship is sharing and you don't have to be alone in situations that you actually start leaning on it perhaps too much. At worst it can become a crutch. For many it seems to be, whether or not they realise it.
Now I try to provide that "crutch" back to those I love, and at the same time try not to use too much myself.

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#22628 - 03/27/09 11:06 AM Re: A wonderful sense of peace....wtf? [Re: MaggotFaceMoe]
97and107 Offline
member


Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 267
Loc: New Mexico
A relationship has to be a two way giving street to accomplish anything useful. I really believe love is a kind of quantum mechanics we have no clue whatsoever about (in the scientific community), built on trust in the other so if one party doesn't live up to his or her responsibilities, the whole thing can collapse in a very ugly mess leaving one or the other devastated.

But the rewards are so enticing it's hard not to focus on having a relationship

I don't know what is going on with this guy that I like. He apparently broke up with me but then he goes back to say he still wants to touch base, seems interested still in this hot business deal (which is of course, enticing) and then I just told him I want to make the relationship work no matter what, but he does not give any concrete answers, like he is afraid to be hurt again and wants to be THE ONE to end the relationship first at the sight of troubled waters.

It's all very confusing.

I came to examine where my center was and in doing so realized taking it back would hurt him a great deal. I swear to Satan this is the most horrible week I have had in my whole fucking life.

What a load of bullshit. love fucking sucks! totally!

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#22639 - 03/27/09 07:52 PM Re: A wonderful sense of peace....wtf? [Re: 97and107]
Dan_Dread Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 3813
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
 Quote:

A relationship has to be a two way giving street to accomplish anything useful. I really believe love is a kind of quantum mechanics we have no clue whatsoever about (in the scientific community), built on trust in the other so if one party doesn't live up to his or her responsibilities, the whole thing can collapse in a very ugly mess leaving one or the other devastated.

As I read this a couple of points jumped to mind.

Firstly, there is nothing magical about love. Evolutionary traits tend to be more successful when they contribute to making survival or replication easier, and it is easy to see how 'love' does both. Without love, why would a mother bother to protect her baby? It is easy to see how a line of people that protected their children and mates would outlast and outbreed a line of people that didn't. It is simply a brain function that has proven successful through the test of time and generations.

Secondly, if a relationship is built on fronts and face value, it is bound to collapse. By that I mean you shouldn't feel like you have 'responsibilities', or are constrained by rules. A relationship shouldn't be 'work'. It's a matter of compatibility and mutual benefit. If you can't just be yourself and express yourself fully for fear of damaging a relationship then that relationship is shit.

Ever have a cat? Hold that cat , or make it feel trapped, and it will always try to escape. Move your hands away and let it stay of it's own accord, and it will sit there and purr away for hours.
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#22651 - 03/27/09 11:09 PM Re: A wonderful sense of peace....wtf? [Re: 97and107]
Fist Moderator Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 1453
Loc: B'mo Cautious MF
 Quote:
and this strange sense of peace just washes over me and it feels like I can conquer anything...it's just so strange and wonderful


And this is part of crossing the Abyss - realizing ones own self-deification.

One of the most terrifying things a person can realize is just how much of their own lives they control.
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I am the Devil and I am here to do the Devil's work.

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#22662 - 03/28/09 10:40 AM Re: A wonderful sense of peace....wtf? [Re: Dan_Dread]
97and107 Offline
member


Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 267
Loc: New Mexico
Those are great points Dan Dread. Love can be felt between two animals of opposite species who have no reproductive capability between each other so I don't think it's so simple. We're fast to mark everything as evolutionary might but the truth is humans have only begun to map out the exquisite complexity of universe. Nature expresses itself in more ways than simply Life. It may be a reasonable focus of study for us but does not constitute the bulk of phenomenon occurring on a vast majority of dimensions, from the subatomic to the galactic.

Not all cats dislike being held. My old grandpa burmese/siamese likes to be held tightly, after he's been out wandering in the wilds for days at a time. Then the younger ones just hate it but if they've been fed they tolerate it.

Right on about being able to express yourself - that's a major hurdle to overcome!

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#22663 - 03/28/09 10:43 AM Re: A wonderful sense of peace....wtf? [Re: Fist]
97and107 Offline
member


Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 267
Loc: New Mexico
 Originally Posted By: Fist
 Quote:
and this strange sense of peace just washes over me and it feels like I can conquer anything...it's just so strange and wonderful


And this is part of crossing the Abyss - realizing ones own self-deification.

One of the most terrifying things a person can realize is just how much of their own lives they control.


Hey Fist

I have been working with Da'ath for almost two years now. This means I am in constant suspension in the midst of the abyss at all times. It's very rewarding but complicated. It takes an understanding individual to even comprehend the amount of balance this takes.

Satanism it seems is the only discipline with the tools to carry out this precarious asana.

I love seeing you again Fist! Hey!

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#23439 - 04/18/09 05:24 PM Re: A wonderful sense of peace....wtf? [Re: 97and107]
Sharschosen Offline
stranger


Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 31
I'd say that it's the knowledge that you are in control of your self, and owe nothing to any bearded bastard who claims to have created you that gives you this peace. I know I feel pretty much that way. Life ain't great, but I'd rather own myself and be to blame or praise for my life, than prostrate myself before some isolated jerk who demands praise.
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