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#23372 - 04/16/09 01:24 PM Re: Cheating [Re: Succubus666]
Diavolo Offline

Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 4997
I personally don't mind what kind of sex people indulge, how much or how many they devour. I don't mind that in real life either, after all I do prefer a partner that knows the drill above someone that eeks at every move you make. But it's not about that here.

That we debate or argue stuff of a sexual nature is fine to me and when people have questions or want an opinion about something, I do not see a reason why not, unless it degenerates to a "dr Ruth" level. But things should not get too personal and I do think that is what was happening here in this thread. That you're testing polyamory is fine and that we talk about it too, but somewhere it shifted into a reality show about your private life. That's too much info for me and I assume others, -besides the voyeurs amongst us- feel the same. We are not only dragged into your bedroom but also into your emotional feelings, and into your relation. I think you should reserve that level of sharing for people that have a closer personal bond with you.
I know some people here for about a decade and although in chat occasionally the unavoidable subject of sex pops up, and we share or joke about it, there aren't many I'd feel comfortable enough with listening to too personal stuff. Too personal being here making me almost a part of their reality.
Maybe I'm a dinosaur at that level but I firmly believe some things should remain private and some should only be shared with friends.

I think you should question yourself too about what you share. If it is something anyone can give advice or an opinion upon, or learn something, it is beneficial, to you or to them but the moment we become observers that can't do but give an opinion about something too distant from us, we can only make snap judgments and none is going to benefit in the end.
In worst case scenarios, it is even going to turn into a disadvantage.


#23382 - 04/16/09 05:22 PM Re: Cheating [Re: Diavolo]
Succubus666 Offline

Registered: 10/17/07
Posts: 161
I suppose itís just me being a writer, and a reader of other peopleís personal experiences, that makes me not turned off to the idea of reading more about other peopleís personal matters, should they care to share them. I donít see it as being an overly emotional act, or something thatís a waste of peopleís time if thereís something to offer in the conversation. Bacchaeís story about the dog and the ham really caught my attention and has stuck with me as Iíve dealt with the turmoil of this relationship. You can only be forgiving of so much, then you must assume absolute control over your own situation and the way youíre being treated in that situation.
#23397 - 04/17/09 01:56 AM Re: Cheating [Re: Succubus666]
Diavolo Offline

Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 4997
I assume it is a generational difference which is largely affected by our current multimedia. It seems that complete exposure is the thing of the last decade and I expect the trend to continue and worsen. Reality shows have paved the path, the internet in all its charming aspects does the rest. Look at shows like Big Brother where in the first editions flashing their boobs was the talk of the day and now a complete and open fuck is even so yesterday.
It is as if the more we are isolated as persons, the more we expose ourselves through these media tools. Maybe it is triggered by a human need for their 15 minutes of fame. Ultimately, every attempt at it has to be stronger or more extreme than the previous ones.

I like stories and personal experiences and you can pick up a thing or two while listening or observing but there is a part of me that has some outdated idea of dignity and limits me to go only that far. When others take that step beyond, I suffer something called shame-by-proxy.

Compare it to having a date. I do know my potential partner farts too but I don't take it kindly when she affirms that fact loudly in my company.


#23620 - 04/21/09 05:47 AM Re: Cheating [Re: Succubus666]
daevid777 Offline
active member

Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Chattanooga Area, TN
No. I can't quite describe it.

You're more like a robot... even your descriptions of "pain" or being "pissed off" don't convey your emotions. It's like a continous attack by a hypersensitive robot, that thinks she's a woman... but you keep going and going... in such a cybergenic fashion... it's almost commendable, if it wasn't so ridiculous. If you claim to be a writer, you've missed terribly with this, and other posts.

You have some goal, hidden to us readers, for which you keep striving, the end results, notwhithstanding. It makes no sense. And the continuous disregard for advice, all the while, seeking advice, makes this one story most deserving of a quick ending. Yet it goes on, in robotic synch...

It doesn't miss a beat...

It's like Martha Stewart on crack... only, she'd be having a good time for once. It appears, the audience is laughing, and the actress is still trying her best to play Juliette.

I don't get it.
Where we're going, we don't need roads.

#23754 - 04/24/09 09:47 AM Re: Cheating [Re: daevid777]
icu4whatur Offline

Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 21
I'm still kinda new here but I'm going to throw my 2 cents in. Take it for what it's worth.
Honesty is the ultimate form of cruelty, so don't get offended by this, it's just my honest and objective opinion. Personally I don't give a shit.
You are showing classic female clinginess/jealousy and very little accountability for YOUR decision to open up your relationship. If you are going to open up a relationship you can't assign stupid rules to it in the hopes that your lovers will uphold their devotion to you. You are fucking other people.
He will stay with you as long as it is in his best interest. Love him and show him it's still in his best interest. Trust his judgment and allow him to explore his desires on his own, just as you should. To me it sounds like you have taken the relationship collar off of yourself, but through petty rules you are demanding that he leave his on.
Opening up a relationship demands a certain amount of independence.

Allow him to have his... Then grow some balls and take some for yourself. You are not his mother. Trust each other without a net and you might find that it works for you both.

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