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#24227 - 05/06/09 02:08 PM How to be ordained
ParadiseLost51 Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/22/09
Posts: 29
Loc: Ohio
Alright, everyone knows just how easy it is to get ordained a minister in christian religions (just google it and you can find a website where you can do it for free) but how do you get ordained a minister or priest of the CoS?
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#24228 - 05/06/09 02:12 PM Re: How to be ordained [Re: ParadiseLost51]
Diavolo Offline
RIP
stalker


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 4997
Personally I do think the question is better asked here:

Letters to the Devil

After all, many of them are member of the CoS.

D.

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#24230 - 05/06/09 02:22 PM Re: How to be ordained [Re: Diavolo]
ParadiseLost51 Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/22/09
Posts: 29
Loc: Ohio
Thank you. I will transfer this over!

EDIT: Damn...that site is blocked for some reason or another...stupid school block program thingys...
ah well, I'll look into some other time.

On the other hand, seeing how this post is already here, does anybody have any ideas?


Edited by ParadiseLost51 (05/06/09 02:24 PM)
Edit Reason: Edit

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#24232 - 05/06/09 02:31 PM Re: How to be ordained [Re: ParadiseLost51]
Bacchae Offline
Satan's White Trash Neighbor
member


Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 438
Loc: los angeles
you have to JOIN the CoS and be heavily involved in the CoS, and work your way up the social and administrative ladder to become a priest in the CoS.

it is not done through a form you click on a website.

I lost brain cells by even responding to this question.

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#24233 - 05/06/09 02:39 PM Re: How to be ordained [Re: ParadiseLost51]
Dimitri Offline
senior member


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 2409
You could try to start your own form of Satanism.. or declare yourself to be "magus/magister/priest/..(Fill in a fancy title)" after starting up a "community" with 10 other members and declare yourself to be a new church once you hit the 20 members...

Now really.. why would you become a satanic priest? What is your motivation? Just want to have some "impressive title" you can show off with? Or is it something else?

I don't really care what your motivation is, but I'm quite sure it's nothing more then ego petting and asskicking in the end..
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#24234 - 05/06/09 05:54 PM Re: How to be ordained [Re: Dimitri]
theblacksheep696 Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/11/09
Posts: 7
Loc: scotland
I have to agree with Dimitri,If its a ego boost you need then you'r in the wrong place but why would you want to prove yourself to the CoS,it is better to have self worth and gain knowledge for yourself and be your own person.
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#24239 - 05/07/09 12:33 AM Re: How to be ordained [Re: ParadiseLost51]
fakepropht Administrator Offline
Big Slick
active member


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 981
Loc: Virginia
As mentioned already, you need to actually be a member of CoS to begin with. After that, expect a lot of time spent on your knees and buy plenty of lube. Once you have stroked enough egos and worked your way up the ladder, and whored yourself out to the right people, you might be able to set up a Grotto. Once you do, and you pass the test, and grovel a bit more, then you might get the label Priest. I do know a couple of priests in CoS that made it the good old fashioned way. Hard work, spit, and tears. Really, I don't know why you would want to bother with this.
_________________________
Beer, the reason I get up every afternoon.

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#24240 - 05/07/09 12:46 AM Re: How to be ordained [Re: fakepropht]
Jake999 Offline
senior member


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
Having come up "old school," the idea of some one 18-19 years old even considering they have the chops to even consider being a Priest chaps my balls.

But the times, they must've been changing, because it seems that everyone in the Church of Satan these days is a Priest or a Magister, and I have pants older than most of them. Used to be talking to a Priest of the Cjurch of Satan was a rarity. Talking to a Magister was a down right event. And when you DID get to talk to one, they knew what the hell they were talking about.

It all smacks of entitlement vs merit. What the hell have you done to be worthy? What the hell can you contribute, other than wanting to be a Priest. A lot of people want to be astronauts, a lot of people want to be doctors and a lot of people want to be rock stars. Most of them aren't qualified. Scarcity is funny that way.
_________________________
Bury your dead, pick up your weapon and soldier on.


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#24244 - 05/07/09 02:51 AM Re: How to be ordained [Re: Jake999]
The Zebu Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 1464
Loc: Orlando, FL
I thought the CoS did away with the grotto system some years ago...

As everyone's stated before, you'd have to join the CoS, give them lots of money, and become butt-buddies with the "inner circle" in New York before you'd even be considered to enter the "priesthood". If you're ready to kiss enough ass, I'm sure it's a feasible goal. Just not worth the effort, though, in my opinion.

Clerical titles don't mean dick in occult/neopagan circles. I know a few wiccans/asatru/occultists, and they all call themselves "High Priest/ess, Grand Magisters, and Arcane Wizard Lords (with a high dexterity save and Knowledge:Magic ranks up the ass.)" Personally, I am the Grand High Black Witch-King Magus of the One True Satanic Church of Nobody-Cares(tm).

A "priest" should designate a highly dedicated clerical profession achieved through years of intense study and devotion under a firmly-founded authoritative tradition. As much as I think that Christian priests and ministers are full of crap, I respect them far more than any basement-dwelling clown who demands that everyone call him "Grand High Priest of Satan" simply because he printed out a free clerical certificate online.

Besides, I believe that Satanism should be above such pointless "clerical hierarchy". Tell me this; if Satanism is about being your own God and answering only to yourself, then what the hell do you need a Satanic clergy for in the first place?!? Shepherds are for sheep, not wolves.


Edited by The Zebu (05/07/09 02:52 AM)
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<< Rayez moi, Satan, dans le livre de vie, inscrivez-moi dans le livre de la mort! >>

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#24245 - 05/07/09 03:02 AM Re: How to be ordained [Re: The Zebu]
Jake999 Offline
senior member


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
Priests of the Church of Satan do not have "flocks." They are not shepherds. They are not the buddy buddy of the "big guy," nor are they some kind of role model or figure of piety for the masses. They are Priests of the Church of Satan, and while I really don't know and couldn't care less what they base their elevation criteria on today, when I was coming up in the Order it was an EARNED title, indicative of not only knowledge, but of potential to assist in the expansion and development of the Church of Satan and its goals.

One thing was certain. If you ASKED for it, it probably wasn't going to come your way.
_________________________
Bury your dead, pick up your weapon and soldier on.


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#24246 - 05/07/09 03:11 AM Re: How to be ordained [Re: Jake999]
fakepropht Administrator Offline
Big Slick
active member


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 981
Loc: Virginia
Read, listen, and comprehend what Jake has typed. This is the way that I remember CoS as well. Now days, it's a glad hand group. Suck enough dick, kiss enough ass, and answer yes enough times, without making waves and giving the right answers, and you're in.
_________________________
Beer, the reason I get up every afternoon.

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#24250 - 05/07/09 08:00 AM Re: How to be ordained [Re: Bacchae]
ParadiseLost51 Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/22/09
Posts: 29
Loc: Ohio
 Originally Posted By: Bacchae
I lost brain cells by even responding to this question.

I appologize for my ignorance, but I just wanted to learn more and get my facts correctly, instead of totally fucking it up. Ignorance is obviously condemned here, but the search for knowledge to end ignorance should be praised!
I said in the first post I know that being a priest was NOT done by internet and that there was much more too it! I understand if you believed I was trying to take the easy way, but I am looking into doing this shit right.

As for the rest of you, I was not implying I wanted to become a priest! I just wanted to know how the process went down. Would I eventually like to be a Priest for the CoS? Yes. Is that a plan I'm going to start on now? No. I just wanted to know more about. My thirst for knowledge often gets the better of me, but it important that my thirst be quenched every so often.
I do thank you for the information.

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#24253 - 05/07/09 09:48 AM Re: How to be ordained [Re: ParadiseLost51]
Octavius Offline
member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 557
Loc: Left the party
Looks like you could use a lesson, young man. Consider this your first and only freebie. Future lessons will cost you some knee-time with me... In all seriousness, this is my personal take on Satanism, but it seems to have been helpful to many noobs here. If it helps you, great. If not, even better.

http://www.the600club.com/topic8445-1.html
_________________________
So long, and thanks for all the fish.

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#24254 - 05/07/09 10:12 AM Re: How to be ordained [Re: Octavius]
ParadiseLost51 Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/22/09
Posts: 29
Loc: Ohio
 Originally Posted By: Octavius
Looks like you could use a lesson, young man. Consider this your first and only freebie. Future lessons will cost you some knee-time with me... In all seriousness, this is my personal take on Satanism, but it seems to have been helpful to many noobs here. If it helps you, great. If not, even better.

http://www.the600club.com/topic8445-1.html


...I'm not a big fan of knee time...
but thanks for the vid. Very...helpful.

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#24273 - 05/07/09 11:31 PM Re: How to be ordained [Re: ParadiseLost51]
Fist Moderator Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 1320
Loc: B'mo Cautious MF
Amen Brother Jake! Preach it from the mountain top!

It seems these days every asshat who shops at Hot Topic wants some sort of inflated title.

To answer the young feller's question - why do you want to belong or run any church? Think about it. Why is that important to you? There in lies your answer...
_________________________
I am the Devil and I am here to do the Devil's work.

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