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#25249 - 06/02/09 09:19 PM Dying time
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
Well guys, it's here. Time I got to talking about what I spend all of my time doing at the moment which is dying.

As some of you have always known, I have advanced Breast Cancer. To give you all a brief background, I found a lump in my brest in 2002, which was diagnosed as a carcinoma in situ in 2003. I had this lump removed by way of an operation, along with all the lymph nodes under my left arm (the side of the lump). The results of the subsequent biopsies told us that I had a greade two tumour or 3 cm, with 2 of my 12 lymph nodes having cancer involvement. The cancer was hormone receptive, meaning it fed on eostrogen, and had I had no further treatment at that time I had about an 60% chance of still being alive in 10 yaers and about a 30% chance of it just dissapearing altogether.

However, because the spread had already slowly started, the best course of events was for me to have chemotherapy and try to catch any small spread in other parts of the body.

This I did, whilst studying IT part time (I was changing professions from being a burlesgue/stripper/model/acrress) and at the emd of my chemo operations and radiotherapy, was given the part clear and told to come back every 6 months for monitoring and mammograms.

Up to this point, I really still believed that I was 6 foot tall and bullet proof and hadn't even considered that I may already have been travelling down the road towards an much earlier than expected death, and happily immersed myself in my new job in IT, my fairly new marriage and the continued raising of my daughter. I was still interested in producing art and wrote a book called Lapdancing for Lovers, which I sold on eBay for some time. Teaching people how to put together a sexy intimate dance for their partner, or whoever and about body image, and dealing with a changing body (something I was going through at the time, being bald and having gained weight from chemotherarpy), I'd also had to learn about menopause (well chemo-pause actually at that stage).

Obviously though, the life/death thing will get most of us thinking about spirituality and where we personally stand with it, which I did for the first time in my life and found I had a drawing towards the neo-pagan type beleifs. It wasn't really me though, new age fluffy bunny stuff is just not my cup of tea.

In my personal life, I had gotten pregnant (something I was told I had lost a 50% chance of after chemotherapy) and was delighted to be able to give me husband the change of having his own child something ha'd always wanted, and for me to have a second child, hopefully (and yes luckily) a son, to matching pair up with my daughter.

However, pregnancy, with it's abundance of hormones, was very rough on me and although it was always there (most likely never haveing gone away with the previous chemo etc),nyI cancer got a very strong hold of my body and spread through the bones and into my lungs throughout my 9 months of being an incubator.

There was symptoms of course, and we did actively look for cancer on more than one occasion throughout this time, but it wasn't until my 35th week that they actually admitted that YES, my cancer had actually spread extensively, it was now stage 4, terminal and could no longer be cured. Lived with, fought, put into remission yes yeas yes, but not cured.

They actually wanted me to just have some reaiation on my face (I had a metastises in my jaw bone), that wouldn't effect the baby, but other than that wait out the pregnance with no treatment as statistics said that I would on average live another two years, so to the gynos it was only about the growing baby.

Of course, I was not happy with that scenerio. I had another child to think about and another year or two to her would make a big difference, so I wanted to have my baby early and get fighting this shit of a disease asap. You never know, some people lived 10 years of more after the diagnosis of bone mets, although at that point we didn't know about the lungs.

It was around this time that I found this website and found my interest in Satanism. For me, I've lived life so to the full, that that is the side of Satanism that I see so much in myself. I've always wanted to be the best at whatever I do and have worked hard over the yaers to improve my lot in life, not just content to let life hand me what it wants, I've actively hunted and strived for better, more and improvement. No drop kicks for me thank you very much.

However, the whole time I have been here, I have also been dealing wiht the fact that I was dying. Not the one day you'll be hit by a bus type of thing, (as saying that will not go over well with me anyway), but hey dude you need to get your affairs in order type of thing.

So, because I'm the go getter that I am, I cashed in my life insurance policies (fortunately I did have a couple) and have spent the last several years persuing what ever I felt I had to to cram in as much as I could for myself and my children before I got too sick to be able to cram in any more.

This was very hard on my marriage, so we seperated, but not before we bought a caravan and travelled the east coast of Australia with the kids (mainly for my 11 yo daughter to see the sights with us), for 8 weeks, visiting theme parks reletives and friends. Journelling it all for my daughter to look back at later (my son will hopefully get a little out of that when he is older also, although as an infant I have other things for him from me as he ages) and generally still trying to live as vital a life as I possibly could.

I bought a two motorcycles over this time and got my license, did a trip of over 1000miles on Harleys and joined in many a bike riding weekend with new friends (none of my current friends rode, but I'd always wanted to bet my licnese).

For the most part my health has held up during this time. I have had about 10 rounds of radiotherapy on various bones and places when the pain and weakness were getting too much, one operation to fix my femur which was breaking. I also had to deal with small lung tumors (still considered breast cancer, but in my lungs, not lung cancer) but after having an oopherectomy (removal of ovaries) in 2006, this was well kept under control until around Aug 08.

I am however almost at the end of the line. My lungs have been regularly filling with fluid, caused by my tumors in the pleural layer since Ausust last year, and the cancer is starting to eat away at the rest of me. I've lost 15 kgs since Christmas and have to have litres of fluid regularly drained from my lungs to be able to breath even nearly clearly. I have oxygen at home and am very very tired. I sleep alot and don't eat very much. People visit me now for the most part, although I am still getting out and about a bit (for instance I took my daughter to the Pink concert the other night, from hospital in a wheelchair on oxygen, it was exhausting), and am going out eating oysters with my sister tonight.

I've really enjoyed having this board to read and argue on at times. I know I'm not the epitome of a Satanist in many ways, but this board is however very right for me and I paid my dues and earn't what respect I may have here without whinging or complaining.

There are people here whom I consider friends of sorts, and who I feel priveledged to have gotten to know, people like Ta2zz, Morgan and Nemesis, FakeProphet and BallBreaker, Daeve just to name a couple and those I've loved to hate, like what's his mean from Sydney (mental blank) or yeah DaVinci... (little turd) Kayla (littler turd) and ones I've loved to laught at floundering around trying to be more than they are like Sinistar.

I've argues with CeruleanSTeele about feminism and DanDread about altruism it's been fun guys.

I still get on here a bit to read what's being said, but these days, I really don't have alot to contribute, as I really am coming from a very different place to you all as I wind down.

I will be around for a few months yet, but time is definately running out......Christmas will be very unlikely for me to make.

So I'm not going to say goodbye just yet.......but I thought it was time to open up the discussion on death and see if any of you had anything you wanted to ask me about it.

I still don't beleive in an ofterlife, so maybe I'm just trying to etch out a tiny bit of the forum where I will live on when I'm gone, I don't know what do you think?

Love and laughter,

Zephyrgirl aka Tanya
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#25250 - 06/02/09 10:13 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
Goddamn Tanya...You know I've been thinking about you, and have been wondering these past few weeks what you'd gotten off into. I knew that you'd been having a lot of difficulties, which seemed to have increased over the last 6 months, that's for sure.

I am so, so glad that you've been able to spend these past few months with your kids, doing things with them, and being able to do things for YOURSELF. Even if you weren't completely up to it, you still went out there and accomplished goals you'd set out for yourself. To me it seems as if the reality of your own end has given you the impetus you needed, to finish things you might have put on hold while you were busy with your new family, working, whatever. The little things in life that need to be done can end up taking up so much of our time. More than we realize.

I know it's not goodbye yet. So I'll choke down the lump that just came into my throat and save it for later.

It HAS been fun getting to know Tan. And I'm glad that I've had the opportunity to do so. Oh I know, we haven't been like, joined at the hip close or anything , but you know what? That's okay. Who needs a goddamn Siamese twin? LOL That has to be a moodkiller for sex if there ever was one. "Hey sis, can you hand me the AstroGlide?" I certainly have enjoyed our convo, the occasional PM, our times in the chats (however brief--you're too goddamn ahead of me time-wise to make it happen often!), lol.

A terminal illness--you either put it out of your mind and continue living or hide and quiver in your room. I know if I were in your situation, I'd hope that I would keep living my life, even if the shell that housed me was seriously malfunctioning. Your daughter will always cherish the memories of the time you spent together, knowing that your time was coming up. I'm sure she'll pass on the good times she had with you on to her little brother, who will no doubt be a biker himself when he gets to be old enough ;\)

But you're not gone YET, dammit, and we're going to enjoy every minute we have left with you!
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#25251 - 06/02/09 10:18 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Jake999 Offline
senior member


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
"Not the epitome of a Satanist." You're dead wrong there, Zeph. I haven't "known you" all that long, but knowing you even through this etheric medium has been an honor and will continue to be long after your name no longer graces the screen.

You've lived your life, where others would have run for cover, and you're shown guts in the face of adversities that would make most cringe. And still, you've shown a lighter side than most would be able to even contemplate. As LaVey wrote, "And it will be known that the world of the flesh and the living shall be the greatest preparation for any and all eternal delights!"

You've earned your immortality, if only in the minds of those you leave behind. And we will not mourn, but rejoice that you've lived in such a glorious way. May we all aspire to such courage, such tenacity and, indeed, such grace.
_________________________
Bury your dead, pick up your weapon and soldier on.


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#25252 - 06/02/09 10:54 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Octavius Offline
member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 557
Loc: Left the party
I don't have anything deep to say. I just want to say that it's been an absolute pleasure getting to know you here at the 600 Club, MySpace, Facebook, etc. "Internet friends" are not normally something I take very seriously, but there's a select few. So no goodbyes yet, but I wish you restful sleep, sharpness of mind, and my genuine respect and friendship.

Luvs and hugs,
Octavius
_________________________
So long, and thanks for all the fish.

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#25254 - 06/02/09 11:47 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Fabiano Offline
member


Registered: 09/06/08
Posts: 374
Tanya,

I didn't exchange a lot with you, but I enjoy your presence here with us.

You gained my respect and will be in my mind probably forever.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain." is something engraved in my brain.

And once again, you show you live it.

Thanks and respect to you Zeph.

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#25257 - 06/03/09 12:19 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
spiderbreeder Offline
member


Registered: 11/29/08
Posts: 300
Loc: Sydney,Australia
Oh,ZephyrGirl, my fellow AussieGirl,

I've been wondering where you were for some time myself, and was hoping everything was ok with you and you were in remission.

I know I don't know you personally except for a very brief time in chat a few months ago, but I've followed your posts, and kind of feel like I "know" you through them, so it was quite a heart-wrenching shock of sorts to read the above.

Not the epitome of a Satanist?
As has already been mentioned above, you have shown ( and are showing) more grit, guts, and determination to wring every last precious drop out of life that you possibly can, in a situation where most would regress inside themselves and wither away.
Strength and grace in the line of fire is a fine Satanic attribute - you obviously have it in bucketloads, and your kids will grow up with the same attributes...

How can they not? They've learnt from the best!

Thanks for taking the time out to start this thread Tanya, it's put a stop to the "wondering".

It's not goodbye yet.... we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, and remember, it ain't over till the Fat Lady sings.( my Mum's fave saying when she had the same condition)

Strength and joy to you Zeph,

Kelli. ;\)
_________________________
REGIE SATANAS!

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#25264 - 06/03/09 02:36 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3119
I don't have much to say, apart from the fact I enjoyed reading your posts which gave me the possibilty to learn more about the discussed subjects and insight on a Satanic way of thinking.

We might not have talked alot here, but the contributions you made here (even before I entered) were really insightfull.
Having read this topic, I can only say you are a prime example Satanist.

 Quote:
I know I'm not the epitome of a Satanist in many ways

Same comment as Jake made. You are wearing a blue jacket here for something ;\)
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#25265 - 06/03/09 02:43 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
fakepropht Moderator Offline
Big Slick
active member


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 990
Loc: Texas
I suck when it comes to writing stuff of a deep emotional nature. What can I say that others haven't already said, and so eloquently? I won't speak in the past tense, but rather in the present. Because you are still here, and I like it that way. I enjoy the times we get to play poker together. I understand your time was limited recently, so we couldn't hook up as often. I enjoy sharing our memories of Korea. I have to believe we crossed paths there at some point. I was the guy with the shaved head sucking down a stick of meat and checking out your ass as you walked by. LOL, wait, that was half the country.

It's rewarding to hear that you got to fulfill some of your goals and aspirations. Bikes, trips with your kids, memories. That's what makes us immortal. The memories and footsteps we leave behind. I'm still waiting for you to knock on my door so we can go up to Atlantic City and toss around some chips at the table. I promise I won't take all your chips, just most of them.

Thanks for the update. Sad as it is, we were wondering about you. From previous talks, I know you are going into this with your chin up. Always the warrior. Not Satanic? Your little finger is more Satanic than some can ever hope their whole being will be. You know how to reach me if you ever want to just chat.
_________________________
Beer, the reason I get up every afternoon.

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#25270 - 06/03/09 06:15 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Morgan Offline
Princess of Hell
stalker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 2956
Loc: New York City
Damn, Damn, Damn.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make your cancer go away.

You have been and are inspiring, funny, and amazing.
You have experienced so many things and lived your life to the fullest in all the ways you want. You don't let things hold you back and you do it all with the love in your heart for your children, family, and friends.

I admire you so much for your courage, your strength, and your drive.

YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO MUCH LOVE TO YOU !!!!!!

\:\)

HUGE BIG ASS HUGS & MUCH LOVE,
Morg

ps. Please, you're more Satanic than most of the asswipes who claim to be satanic, and it was never a question in my book.
It's your title, you earned it, just by living and being yourself. Damn it, still waiting on the pillow fight for when you get to NYC. ;\)


Edited by Morgan (06/03/09 06:23 AM)
Edit Reason: added the ps stuff
_________________________
Courage Conquering Fear
Fuck em if they can't take a joke
Don't Like What I Say, Kiss My Ass



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#25315 - 06/04/09 05:03 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Morgan]
daevid777 Offline
active member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Hell's Pisshole, Texas
Tanya,

I fell in love with you from the start... even when I thought you might be a guy...

I LOVE YOU, GIRL!

I'll write soon.

David.
_________________________
Where we're going, we don't need roads.

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#25354 - 06/04/09 10:26 PM Re: Dying time [Re: daevid777]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
Thanks for all the thoughts guys. I don't want this to be a circle jerk, you're so cool thing, but it's real nice anyway....
Zeph
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#25470 - 06/07/09 05:03 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
daevid777 Offline
active member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Hell's Pisshole, Texas
No circle jerk, just email me or call me... if you can. I won't tell you how I feel about this, my heart, girl, is for you. I love you Zephyrgirl, I love you Tanya. You are the fucking Bomb! And you've rocked my world. You rock everyone's world, anyone who's life you've come into contact with... we are enlightened by your presence, thank you. Thank you so much.

David.
_________________________
Where we're going, we don't need roads.

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#25514 - 06/09/09 04:57 AM Re: Dying time [Re: daevid777]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
Thanks you big mean nasty Satanist you!!!

I tell you though what is getting my goat at the moment. Bloody do good volunteers in the town I live in!!

They've found me,,,arrrrggggh.

The local Lions Club has found out about me living up here in the hills with my Mother and her caring for me in my final months and have decided that they are going to help the bejeesus out of us whether I like it or not.

Not to sound ungrateful, it is wonderful for my 66 year old mother, who I must say is an incredible role model to anyone. Tough old thing that she is, she lives with my 45 year old brother (who is schitzephrenic and on medication for the rest of his life) and now has also taken in my daughter and I. She still works 7 days a fortnight (she is going to retire this Christmas maybe) and has the fortitude to soldier on doing all the work around the house and small property, when I am not well enough to help out, which for a month or so there was all the time.

She doesn't complain, bitch or moan. She just does....It is no wonder to me where my will and determination in life has come from.

Anyway, the local lions club rang the first time last week, they had found out about me because of one of them being a foster partent to a child in my daughters class at the school she attends here. They asked me if there was anything that they could do for me and because I didn't really think there was (I didn't think about Mum, such a selfish shit that I am) and politely said so and thought that would be it, but no. The next day they rang and spoke to Mum and said that they would be bringing over meals 4 nights a week whilst I was ill. Also they want a list of chores for the Men to do around the place for her etc etc.

Well this is all lovely and great and I'm sure glad Mum is getting some help and some free meals I really mean it.

But THEY HAVE ALL RUNG and had the same conversation over the last week. Everyday since last Tuesday I have had at least one phone call from a different member, looking to make themselves feel all fucking gooey and do goodery and essentially organising exactly the same thing they already had. ARrrrrrrrrrggggggggh.

I'm sorry Dan, but altruism is live and well and being shoved down my throat till I can't possibly take it. I'm writing a thankyou letter to the local community newletter as I speak to preempt them from whatever show and tell they will be trying to think up for me.......I can feel it in my bones.

Sorry, I had to rant on this particular topic, I hope you all get much amusement at my discomfort about the whole fucking thing. Now if they wanted to buy me a car............LOL Or send me over to the states for a holiday maybe....but as Chaser pointed out, we'll keep our expectations real.

So far I haven't seen the God botherers....but I know they're out there.


Zeph
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#25515 - 06/09/09 11:20 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
fakepropht Moderator Offline
Big Slick
active member


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 990
Loc: Texas
Suck them for all they are worth. I know it seems "wrong"(?). A pain in the ass. But I would try to get whatever I could out of them for as long as I could.

Your mom sounds incredible. Give her a break and let these fools bring over some meals and tidy up the yard. Let them wear their shiny badge. Be a vampire.
_________________________
Beer, the reason I get up every afternoon.

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#25516 - 06/09/09 11:37 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Asmedious Moderator Offline
Moderator
senior member


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1725
Loc: New York
I’ve been thinking about it for awhile, but I just can’t come up with anything eloquent to say here. So I will just say Ditto, to all the other people who are more expressive then I.

You do seem to be handling this dying situation very well. The older that I get, the more I think about my own mortality. Especially, since I smoke about a pack of cigarettes a day, and I’m passed what might be considered middle aged.
Death itself doesn’t scare me at all, because, well, once I’m dead, I wont be here to know that I’m missing myself.
However, the act of dying, I find most unsettling. Not because I’m afraid of the dying part, but what scares the shit out of me totally, is helplessness. Personally, I would hate to have my “loved ones” around me, to feel sorry for me, and themselves.
I have tried to think of how I would handle my “Final Exit,” if the need arose. (Aren’t I a cheerful fucker?)

Although, I find altruism to be selfish mostly, as most here might also, on the other hand, I can’t help but think that there is also a natural desire to help others when they are down, that is positive and “good.” Which, I believe many here, might disagree with.
I am aware of the argument, that it is all for selfish purposes, based on genetics, and our inherent NEED to help sustain the species, blah blah blah. Yet, sometimes, we might just say, “fuck all the scientific shit,” and just accept someone’s “Good will” at face value.

So, I say, Cheers to the Lions Club; and fuck what ever their true subconscious reasons may be.
Satanist’s have a tendency to over analize things so far down to the core, that they are unwilling to accept anything at face value. Although this may be often helpful, and oriented towards a “true reality,” sometimes it can lead to being cold and withdrawn to the point of being miserable, in which there is nothing positive at all, but instead discontent and mysery.
_________________________
"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

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#25518 - 06/09/09 04:12 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Asmedious]
Nightmare Offline
pledge


Registered: 04/06/09
Posts: 58
Loc: San Antonio TX
Well I only have on thing to say and I believe someone else has already said it much better than I could

http://www.bigeye.com/donotgo.htm

I believe you have done this quite well.
_________________________
So can you tell me what exactly does freedom mean,
If I'm not free to be as twisted as I wanna be

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#25593 - 06/12/09 08:19 PM Re: Dying time [Re: fakepropht]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
Yes, I intend to be a bit of a vampire in this instance.

It's funny though, how independant most of us Satanists are when it boils down to it. Most Christians wouldn't think twice about accepting something for nothing, I know that my born again friend was shocked when I turned down her offer of GIVING me a car saying she knows of no-one in her church that would have done that. Me, I find it goes against my nature to leech off of people, although I don't mind using the system to my advantage when it comes to tax etc.

I've recently found out that a store credit cards I hold, will automattically call my death a bad debt and write off any outstanding money I may have oweing to them. I fully plan on using this to my advantage and making sure that card is full to the brim when I die. If I thought that this debt would have to still be paid by my Mum or kids, I wouldn't do this.

Foretunately, it's the only debt I have, but it's certainly a loophole I'm willing to exploit.

Zeph
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#25594 - 06/13/09 12:56 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Meq Offline
Banned
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 861
For all it's worth Tanya, I hope you can get the marrow out of your last remaining days on this planet. Life's too short for stress and worry even for the average person.

On a side note, I mentioned my grandfather (Derek) who was suffering from extremely aggressive terminal cancer. He died Wednesday 10th June at just after 7am British Summer Time, finally ending his suffering. He was 78.
He had served in the British army for 22 years, reaching the rank of Sergeant, although it was not a subject he enjoyed discussing (for reasons he's now taken to his grave).

And that's the last of my family's great disciplined military veterans gone, brought up with rationing and compulsory military service, to be replaced by the "Generation Now" kids spoiled by technological gratification at the touch of a button.
Ah well, don't you just love the modern world?

If it's any consolation Tanya, the rest of us will be following you sooner than pretty much all of us would like.
And although I admit I didn't really know you and was perhaps swayed somewhat by sympathy when I put my vote forward for your blue suit, I'm sure the old-timers going further back had much more legitimate 'Satanic' reasons for doing so ;-)

Best wishes

Meq

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#25618 - 06/13/09 08:19 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Meq]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
Ah huh! I got the sympathy vote....LOL....Might it Right and all that LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

I'm glad to hear that your Grandfather is no longer suffering. It really is all any of us can ask for when we die.

I sincerely hope that everyone on this forum takes a page from my book (and/or the Satanic Bible) and lives everyday as if were there last. One of the reasons that I'm not wollowing around in self pity, is because I have always had a gung ho life and lived it to the full.

I'm actually trying to get down some of my funnier exploits on record, after all I beleive we've all got a book in us!!! If I'm happy with the result of any I may post one or two in here just for shits and giggles. We'll see.

Zeph
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#25717 - 06/17/09 01:40 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
You never know what is about to happen. Even though I was expecting a small surprise contingent at a reunion luncheon that I recenly attended, my friends actually managed to get a mutual friend of ours to come out from North Carolina to surprise me!

Needless to say, I screamed like a schoolgirl, cried and shook. I have never been so surprised in my life. They were able to keep it from me completely. It has been 20 years since I was the same room as this guy, he was our friend in South Korea when I danced there in 1989/90. I think he and Fakey even drank together back then too, which would be cool, but not something we have been able to actually prove at this point, but I'm sure me talking about him and the Heavy Metal club brings back many a nostalgic memory for him FakeProphet and makes me feel conected in a strange way.

So since Saturday, I have been drinking, talking, remembering, celebrating and enjoying my life again more than I have for months. Thanks to the steroids the doctors have me on, I'm keeping up with all my healthy friends (and well, overtaking a few nya, nya, nyaaa.

I really wanted to visit the US one more time before I died, and with him here, it's really really tempting..especially with the promise of a pillow fight with Morgan, although it's a hell of a long way from NC to NY,nearly as far as to Sydney from Adelaide, and even further from Adelaide to NC.

So if anyone out there would like to buy me a ticket, sexual favours can be brought at this stage of my life and I can suck an golf ball through a garden hose!!!!


Zeph
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#25726 - 06/17/09 12:57 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
fakepropht Moderator Offline
Big Slick
active member


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 990
Loc: Texas
That's great. I once tried to sneak home to see Mom and Dad when I was in the Army. A surprise visit. Problem was, the town was so small, they already knew I was in town before I even had a chance to kiss the ground. It's nice that he was able to do that for you and your friends were able to make that happen.

Ah the Heavy Metal club. Yes, I remember that place. I don't really remember everything that occured there though lol. You know, there was one night me and my roomie were there and we met a couple of Australian chicks. They were cute. We talked with them for probably an hour. Besides being cute, we loved the accent. They could have read the phone book to us, and we would have been enthralled. For all we know, that could have been you and I or mates of yours. I have no idea what they looked like anymore. I just remember buying some drinks and asking them to keep on talking so I could hear the accent lol. You never know.

DC is probably half way between NC an NY. It isn't much, but I have a couch. No favors needed, just some stories. Circumstances allowing, my wife and I might just be able to make a trip from here to NY with you. I'll pack extra pillows.
_________________________
Beer, the reason I get up every afternoon.

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#25727 - 06/17/09 01:11 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Diavolo Offline
RIP
stalker


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 4997
 Originally Posted By: ZephyrGirl
So if anyone out there would like to buy me a ticket, sexual favours can be brought at this stage of my life and I can suck an golf ball through a garden hose!!!!
Zeph


Would a ticket to Belgium be ok too? Hot sex with a terminal is the closest thing to necrophilia I can get at the moment. ;\)

D.

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#25731 - 06/17/09 07:33 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Diavolo]
Asmedious Moderator Offline
Moderator
senior member


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1725
Loc: New York
Heck, it might be worth the price of a ticket, just to see her do the thing with the garden hose, and golf ball \:\)
_________________________
"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

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#25733 - 06/17/09 09:06 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Asmedious]
TornadoCreator Offline
member


Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
Wow. I had no idea. You don't make a habit of discussing your medical history I see as we've argued many times and I don't think you've ever mentioned it before to me (or while I was active on these forums).

Reading this has made me see you in a very different light. I can understand the courage and willpower it must have taken to make what you could of your life in such hard circumstances.

I don't feel pity for people when they're ill, I feel happy for them. They get to experience pain, and without pain, pleasure would be meaningless. Hardship is testing and it makes you into a better person. You get to appreciate everything so much more because you have the contrast. You've focused on the great things and you've bettered yourself. You've lived with purpose and for that you've earned my respect. You've done what I have tried to do, being in hospital so frequently, being homeless a few years back, I always try to use it as a contrast and make sure I value the good things I've got. In many ways you're quite the inspiration... this doesn't mean I'll stop insulting you when we argue though, I need to flame, it's just my way.
_________________________
If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

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#25740 - 06/18/09 03:18 AM Re: Dying time [Re: TornadoCreator]
daevid777 Offline
active member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Hell's Pisshole, Texas
Write me, call me...

How much is the ticket? How about Texas?

UK is to Australia as USA is to Texas... we both speak the same language, but it's different, and we're a little more "brash".

If I could get Morgan down here, and you... could I get a personal pillow fight in my house? Damn!

\:\)

David.
_________________________
Where we're going, we don't need roads.

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#25741 - 06/18/09 03:45 AM Re: Dying time [Re: daevid777]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
Well I certainly couldn't speak for Morgan, however I myself would be willing to have a pillow fight with Morgan (with favours) for the exchange price of an airfare. Hell, prostitution is the oldest profession they say (and when I think about it, I bet it actually is the first thing that was bartered). I wouldn't even have to live with myself for long afterwards and I doubt I'd feel any guilt anyway. I've seen your photo, you're cute enough to fuck Dave. Maybe we should take this to PM????

As for Belgian and Necrophelia, I wonder how much a necropheliac would pay for the use of my body after I had passed? That could send my kids to college. LOL

As it stands, I have donated my body to a local university to be used completely. No funeral of anykind for me. They may or may not have anything left over to cremate and return to my family after 4 or 5 years (in the contract), although there was an option that allowed you to get your ashes or part there of after 2 years. I've been big on recylcing lately and figure that my body is the ultimate thing to recycle and if it helps train a doctor or something on the way out the door then that's even better.

I will of course have a memorial, and I've been having alot of living wakes (insert excuse to have a piss up here).

I'm not that into organising my memorial though, I think that it's really for the people that are left behind. They are really the ones that suffer, not the dead. I've chosen a couple of songs to be played and am making a quick video for it, but mainly because I want to flash my tits just one more time. I think that many of the people that have known me would be disapointed with anything less ;-)

Zeph
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#25742 - 06/18/09 03:58 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Morgan Offline
Princess of Hell
stalker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 2956
Loc: New York City
Sorry Daevid and Zeph, but with things as they are, I am not doing any traveling any time soon, and if it doesnt change, I'm not going anywhere this year. \:\(

But, I live in Nyc, and there is lots of stuff to do here. Zeph you can crash at my house and sleep in my bed if you want. I've had people crash at my house and they hate my couch and end up on the floor, but no floor for you. \:\)

I have a big apartment, ask Fred or Fist, they were both here, so if Fakey and his wife want to come up, I can make room easily. I'm just not sure if his wife wants in on the pillow fight too?

Hmm, I thought Dana might come to ny this summer so you might want to think about that as well.

Well, you would be a good reason for a nyc meet up \:\)

Big Ass Hugs,
Morg

ps.
yeah it could have gone to pm's but fuck it, its almost 4am
_________________________
Courage Conquering Fear
Fuck em if they can't take a joke
Don't Like What I Say, Kiss My Ass



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#25743 - 06/18/09 03:58 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
daevid777 Offline
active member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Hell's Pisshole, Texas
Uh...

PM?

So the airfare is what again?

I think I'm dizzy... okay, so... USA trip... straight to Texas?

Private jet? Too bad the Concord was retired...

Maybe we could just have a pillow fight? Dizzy again...

Yeah, PM.

David.
_________________________
Where we're going, we don't need roads.

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#25744 - 06/18/09 03:58 AM Re: Dying time [Re: TornadoCreator]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
 Quote:
In many ways you're quite the inspiration...


Thankyou. That is one of the reasons I started this thread. To inspire people to suck the marrow out of their own lives. I want everyone here to remember me. I have really enjoyed all my interactions with people, even the negetive ones with DaVinci and you TC.

Zeph
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#25764 - 06/18/09 11:42 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Munki1 Offline
stranger


Registered: 09/15/08
Posts: 28
Zephyrgirl, thanks for writing your story.

I will pass it along to those who will listen when the subject of death and athiesm or Satanism come up.

Sounds like you've done a good job taking care of your kids. Far better than many christians it seems. I wish you tranquility.

Munki

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#28467 - 08/15/09 01:26 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
fakepropht Moderator Offline
Big Slick
active member


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 990
Loc: Texas
As I was driving around today, I got to thinking about you. I don't know how to put this "correctly", but you are a tough girl so it shouldn't matter. Do you have a plan in place to let your fanclub, those that "know" you, let us know when you are no longer with us? Hopefully, that won't be for years to come.
_________________________
Beer, the reason I get up every afternoon.

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#28470 - 08/15/09 02:59 AM Re: Dying time [Re: fakepropht]
Asmedious Moderator Offline
Moderator
senior member


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1725
Loc: New York
Interesting that Prophet should post that today. I was thinking about Zeph earlier as well with the same thought.

I was browsing through all of the pictures in the pic gallery earlier, and came across the Hustler Magazine with Zeph's preg picture on the cover. I was going to see if I could get a copy on Ebay (since they have pretty much everything).
_________________________
"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

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#28515 - 08/16/09 06:48 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Asmedious]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
Hi Guys,

Yes I do have a notification plan in place. Hopefully I will make a final post myself not long before anyway.

Thanks for thinking of me, you'd be surprised how much I have gotten out of this website in the last 6 months.

I have yelled at, cried, laughed and 'those moments' and thought long and hard about everything in my life. I haven't posted much, because often my thoughts are already here on the topic and it would be redundant.

So, either my ex husband or my daughter will be posting when I am gone.

Zephyr xxx
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#28582 - 08/17/09 09:32 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Jake999 Offline
senior member


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
Thanks for the update, Zeph, and I know I speak for a lot of us who hope that the time we're notified is a long, long, long time in the future.

Struck me that if I were to suddenly die of a massive heart attack, or be shot on the rise by a jealous husband, the only way people would know I was gone would be when the music on Dark Ryde didn't get updated.
_________________________
Bury your dead, pick up your weapon and soldier on.


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#28614 - 08/18/09 03:16 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Michael A.Aquino Offline
stalker


Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 2521
Loc: San Francisco, CA, USA
Zephyrgirl, I just noticed this thread.

I understand the ordeal you're going through. My mother left this world through breast cancer and my father through lung cancer. I was there with them both. I could not then and cannot now say or do anything to alleviate that physical process.

What I can and will say, without hesitation, is that you are absolutely not approaching the end of your conscious existence.

I have devoted most of my life to this matter, for the simple reason that how we conduct ourselves intelligently as physically-incarnated beings is completely dependent upon whether that is or is not the "whole story".

My explorations, which are summarized in Chapter #4/"Immortality of the Psyche" of Black Magic, led me to first the realization, then the nœtic experience, of the individual psyche's, or as the Egyptians more precisely apprehended it, the ka's distinct existence from the material body in which it first, very crudely through physical sensation, extends and recognizes itself.

I cannot emphasize enough that I am not talking fluffy-bunny fantasies here, but rather a necessary and inevitable consequence. You will not be coming back here to the material realm of material interaction with other materially-embodied beings; "reincarnation" is nonsense. You are about to enter an entirely different universe of self-awareness and -extension. Nothing of your accustomed "familiarity of self" based upon the crudeness and limitations of a physical shell will be going along with you. You will be solely the thing that is ultimately You, and you will be creating your own universes to express it.

This is not a phenomenon which can be shown by the "scientific method", for the simple reason that "science" is a function of matter/conversion interaction. The ka is beyond this. Indeed my greatest puzzlement was not this distinction, but rather the mechanism of the "bridge" between the ka and its preliminary, material housing. This is a "field" situation, and I am going to risk some extended bandwidth here by finishing with that, because it provides additional perspective on this entire topic:

ARE YOU A FIELD?
A Talk to the Western Regional Gathering of the Temple of Set
July 31, 2004

 Originally Posted By: Edward Jessup, Ph.D., Altered States
I’m a man in search of his true self. How archetypically American can you get?

Everybody’s looking for his true self. We’re all trying to fulfill ourselves, understand ourselves, get in touch with ourselves, get ahold of ourselves, face the reality of ourselves, explore ourselves, expand ourselves.

Ever since we dispensed with God, we’ve got nothing but ourselves to explain this meaningless horror of life. We’re all weekending at est or meditating for forty minutes a day or squatting on floors in a communal OM or locking arms in quasi-Sufi dances or stripping off the deceptions of civilized life and jumping naked into a swimming pool filled with other naked searchers for self.

Well, I think that true self, that original self, that first self, is a real, mensurate, quantifiable thing, tangible and incarnate. And I’m going to find the fucker!

Various workings and rituals during this Gathering have a loose theme of the individual vs. otherwise: distances, life/death, preservation of ideas, survival. Therefore it seemed to me pertinent to spend some time on the question: Who are you, and what makes you you?

Why, moreover, should you exist at all? Why not “not exist” instead, as so nauseates Existentialists such as Sartre?

First let’s talk about your body.

It isn’t your body really. It is a bunch of stuff constantly rearranging themselves into your organization. For instance your liver and serum proteins are turned over every ten days, and the whole of the proteins in our body about every 160 days.

Moreover these protein molecules are extremely complex devices, not mere raw material; not even a single amino acid can be out of place in the replacement.

To put it another way, there are about 60 thousand billion cells in the human body, and every day about 500 billion of these die and are replaced and rebuilt.

Why? One possibility is that these molecules are so complex that they are inherently unstable and thus are continuously deteriorating. Your metabolic system, including the liquid-based transmission of food and raw material throughout your body, is a raging furnace of renewal and regeneration.

How does the body know precisely how to recreate each cell and molecule? It cannot be within the object itself, because an object cannot “organize itself”.

The answer lies in the existence of an entire layered network of electromagnetic fields throughout and within the entire body, altogether comprising a “master plan” field for the entire body. Dr. Harold Saxon Burr, Professor Emeritus of Anatomy, Yale School of Medicine, called this the L-Field. (The Fields of Life)

So what is a “field”?

 Quote:
When something occurs somewhere in space because something else happened somewhere else in space, by no detectible means by which the cause produces the effect, the two events are connected by a "field".

How’s that for a definition?

In other words, “field” is the term you use to sound “scientific” when you haven’t the slightest idea why the linked-phenomenon is taking place. You just know that it is taking place, reliably and repeatedly, and you have to call “it” something.

We know that the body’s organizing system cannot be chemical, because then it itself would be subject to the same tearing-apart process.

Thus there is more to a human being than mere chemistry. It requires an organizing field, not merely an accidental coming-together of proteins. Thus the notion of gene randomness is invalid.

Organization inherently requires preconception based upon purpose. Thus human physical existence has purpose; it is not accidental.

The human L-field is an electromagnetic field, and thus is subject to external EM fields.

This is your personal connection with the organizing master plan of the objective universe: fields within fields.

Anything that can organize has to exist before what it organizes. Hence the mere removal of the resultant organism does not remove the field. Your L-field doesn’t die when your physical body dies.

Conception creates nothing, since it is merely the fusion of preexisting organizations, the sperm and the ovum. An L-field is naturally attracted or assigned, and commences the organizing process, then leaves upon death of the body. It may retain an “image” of that body and be detectable or even perceivable by other L-fields under certain circumstances.

Hence “ghosts”.

If L-fields are a natural constant phenomenon, this would account for the general cessation of human physical evolution at least 100,000 years ago [and possibly much longer], as well as for the basic commonality of all human physical construction.

We know also that simple Darwinism is inadequate to explain the extreme complexity of higher life, such as development of such mechanisms as Darwin himself called “evolutionary novelties” - the eye and various complex organs. Even worse, many such “novelties” would have to occur simultaneously for the whole thing to work together. The odds against this are so high that evolutionists simply bypass the question.

L-fields might be extraterrestrial in origin. This would explain the sudden appearances of new species on Earth at various times, as well as the invisibility of such “ancient astronauts”. Their stability despite Earth’s evolutionary forces, such as Ice Ages, would also account for the preservation or revival of certain species despite drastic environmental changes.

Let’s go back to that sperm and egg. How do they know how to organize something greater and more complex than themselves? They can’t. A superior organizing system - an L-field - is required to know where specialized cells will be needed and how to organize them.

Now let’s talk about thought.

Science hates thought, because thinking and thoughts cannot be measured, are not quantifiable, and are not repeatable. You cannot think the same thing exactly twice.

And how do you know what you’re doing when you’re thinking? Do you decide what you’re going to think and then think it, or do you think something and then try to figure out what it was that you just thought?

What’s 2+2?

Just like the rest of your body, the nervous system is also constantly breaking down and being regenerated. So the material of your brain cells and connecting nerves may have been completely renewed about 100 times since you were taught addition. You haven’t been taught addition all over again 99 times. So how do you still know how to add?

Hence thought also has the properties of a field.

Not necessarily thought transmission/ESP, but thought organization and integrity. However there may be additional field phenomena at work here too, such as your ability to sense moods, impulses, desires, attitudes of someone close to you.

What is love? T-field symmetry?

As L-fields are distinct from the physical body, T-fields are also superior to and separate from the physical machinery they manipulate and use. Here we are talking the basis for out-of-body consciousness, persistence of the psyche after physical death, and possibly the temporary or permanent attachment of subordinate T-fields to other forms of matter, resulting in magical objects and haunted houses.

We also deduce that T-fields have the ability to influence L-fields, as in mental states affecting bodily harmony and health, and vice-versa, as when your bodily energy affects your mental alertness.

Consider your brain, therefore, as a mechanism used by your primary and subordinate T-fields for the cataloguing of sensory input and the storage of memory. These are results, not the thing itself, of your self-aware “thinker”, the primary T-field which is you.

Here again, note that the atoms and molecules of the brain are in a constant state of teardown and rebuilding, so the T-field must assign to each an exactly reproducing field, and that is how you can still add 2+2.

Sensory areas of the brain must be more or less permanently wired to the senses, hence their injury or loss is quantifiable and somewhat irreparable. But learning and memory functions are not so localized, as long as enough brain cells generally remain to be usable. These are used only intermittently and at desire or need.

This is why your memory is such a strange thing. You can remember a lot more stuff now than when you were a child, but your brain is still the same size. You didn’t have to add more RAM or ROM to it. Also what you remember is very strangely selective. The words to a Beatles song you heard half a century ago, but not what you had for breakfast yesterday.

It may be the T-Field’s inability to read/write to all the memory-usage cells it wishes that accounts for Alzheimer’s, but once again the T-Field itself as a conscious entity is not affected; it is merely losing access to memory tools.

Memory is the backbone of your current situation. It is how you conveniently decide who you are and communicate that to others, what you know about your state and everything else. But it is still not your soul, your personality. That is the thing that assigns meaning and value to both memory and current sensations.

While bodies’ L-fields have not evolved significantly over the last 100,000+ years, T-fields have evolved dramatically: consider the level of sophistication in your knowledge vs. that of a Stone Age homo sapiens.

T-field individuality is indestructible as communicable during physical life. Your identity cannot be sucked out by someone else, or hacked up if you lose an arm or leg.

Here we have discussed a new framework for conceptualizing your psyche/ka/soul and relating it to your mind and body. We’ve pointed to neatly integrated possible explanations for several other mysteries, like our extraterrestrial origins and haunted houses, along the way.

A few more tools in the toolbox which is the Temple of Set.
_________________________
Michael A. Aquino

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#28617 - 08/18/09 04:28 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Michael A.Aquino]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
Thank you Michael for that post. I have read some of your ideas previously on this subject.

I personally, have always thought that there is more to life than death, but that of course what that may be, is in now way something that can be aligned to the life I live right now. I still consider myself an aethiest, as I don't think I'm off to heaven now, or hell for that matter.

I'm not at all afraid of dying, like most people, I just don't want to be in pain and suffering leading up to it, although I know that there WILL be a little of that no matter how well my palliative plans are made. And well made they are.

I'm lucky in that I will be at home pretty much through the whole process. I only go to hospital for proceedure when I absolutely have to, unlike alot that are forced into hospice or hospitals, because they haven't used the resources available to them. (here in Australia at any rate).

ZephyrGirl
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#28649 - 08/19/09 02:44 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Michael A.Aquino]
Diavolo Offline
RIP
stalker


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 4997
As respectfully as possible but when reading most of this, I wondered if we didn't throw out this baby long ago and why there is a necessity to drag its rotting corpse back out of the river and dress it up fancy? Behind all the words, doesn't a holy trinity pop back up; creator, purpose and afterlife?

I think science has pretty good arguments contra most ideas mentioned here.

D.

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#28650 - 08/19/09 03:17 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Diavolo]
Michael A.Aquino Offline
stalker


Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 2521
Loc: San Francisco, CA, USA
 Originally Posted By: Diavolo
As respectfully as possible but when reading most of this, I wondered if we didn't throw out this baby long ago and why there is a necessity to drag its rotting corpse back out of the river and dress it up fancy? Behind all the words, doesn't a holy trinity pop back up; creator, purpose and afterlife?

As I said, we're not talking cartoon-religion "afterlife, Heaven, Hell" fluff here. That's just thumb-sucking for, well, suckers. You're going to have to take a hard, serious look at what I summarized here if you want it to start clicking into place. And it's not simple or easy; it has to do with the very essence of the existence of things.

 Quote:
I think science has pretty good arguments contra most ideas mentioned here.

I'd love to hear them. Actually what "science" (by which I presume you mean academically-blessed doctrine) does is to evade these realities. This is business as usual in academia [to which I can testify with some background per my Ph.D. and professorship experience]. Read the "Introcaution" to this item for more food for thought along this line.
_________________________
Michael A. Aquino

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#28651 - 08/19/09 03:41 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Michael A.Aquino]
Diavolo Offline
RIP
stalker


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 4997
Of course we are not talking cartoon-like religion but at some levels you are talking about the same concept but in a noncartoon-like manner. So basically there is not much difference.

Afterlife and soul, amongst others, seem to be the very essence of some concepts mentioned here and while it is your right to dismiss academic-blessed science whenever it fits, some do think that evidence is pretty convincing when it comes to affirming or disproving certain theories. But again, if academic-blessed doctrine is out of the question in this debate, there isn't even room for a debate. I guess that leaves us with faith.

If we're willing to debate beyond that, I'll be hearing from you.

D.

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#28653 - 08/19/09 05:15 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Diavolo]
Michael A.Aquino Offline
stalker


Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 2521
Loc: San Francisco, CA, USA
 Originally Posted By: Diavolo
Of course we are not talking cartoon-like religion but at some levels you are talking about the same concept but in a noncartoon-like manner. So basically there is not much difference.

Well, there are two contexts here: the functioning of the physical, matter/energy universe (realm of the L-fields), and metaphysical existence (realm of the T-fields). And remember that a "field" is something for which there is either indirect/effect evidence or an existential necessity. Gravity and magnetism are two well-known field phenomena for which there is no identifiable mechanism, for instance.

Then you have the basic matter/energy-universe functions of ectropy and entropy. The former is the phenomenon which is usually symbolized by God/gods/neteru, and the latter by its/their absence. Order, consistency, and replication require an external organizing force (sort of a "universal field"), and academic science does not "go there" for the simple reason that this is necessarily a metascientific phenomenon; it cannot be "assembled from scientific/material/energy subcomponents". It just needs to be there in order for ectropy to occur.

 Quote:
Afterlife and soul, amongst others, seem to be the very essence of some concepts mentioned here and while it is your right to dismiss academic-blessed science whenever it fits, some do think that evidence is pretty convincing when it comes to affirming or disproving certain theories. But again, if academic-blessed doctrine is out of the question in this debate, there isn't even room for a debate. I guess that leaves us with faith.

Academically-blessed doctrine can be good to the extent that it is rigorously, repetitively, and disinterestedly/critically tested. It is not so good when, as amusingly illustrated in my "Introcaution", it runs into questions & issues so big, confounding, politically-unacceptable, or psychologically-scary that it just sweeps them under the rug. This has been going on all through recorded history, from Galileo to Tesla.

 Quote:
If we're willing to debate beyond that, I'll be hearing from you.

No, I'm not going to debate you right now, because you need to get out of the very knee-jerk conceptual corner into which you've painted yourself first. I don't say this to be condescending, just to suggest that you take some time to investigate the phenomena touched upon in my "Fields" talk and get them to make as much sense to you as you possibly can, which is not with the usual/canned academic brush-off.

I also dispense with some other sacred cows like Einstein's Special Theory (which invalidates itself by excluding the velocity of light) and the Big Bang (which invalidates itself by requiring a pre-Bang ylem and someone to light a match to it). There's a lot of silly stuff around preening itself as "science"; just don't kneel and tremble before it as though it's the village witch-doctor.
_________________________
Michael A. Aquino

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#28690 - 08/20/09 03:52 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Michael A.Aquino]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3119
 Quote:

Well, there are two contexts here: the functioning of the physical, matter/energy universe (realm of the L-fields), and metaphysical existence (realm of the T-fields). And remember that a "field" is something for which there is either indirect/effect evidence or an existential necessity. Gravity and magnetism are two well-known field phenomena for which there is no identifiable mechanism, for instance.

Just a few things here:
1) When you speak about fields and make the distinction between the L-field (which is the material world) and the T-field (which I assume can be regarded as a spirit world) I couldn't help but wonder about the fact if you know how both fields came to existence.
2) I admit that for gravity and electromagnetism no mechanism has been found YET. It doesn't imply that in the future (maybe near future with the LHC being brought back online) these mechanisms will be discovered and studied.

 Quote:
There's a lot of silly stuff around preening itself as "science"; just don't kneel and tremble before it as though it's the village witch-doctor.

True, but a real scientist questions everything. And even if the big-bang model looks a bit childish, it certainly is a model which explains certain metaphors and discoveries humans made about the universe. When someone makes the same claim about the big-bang being childish or retarded I counter the argument with posing the question "How do you think it all started?" and then start questioning how he/she came to his discoveries and even point out the inconsistencies.

I am always willingly to change opinion when the counterargument makes sense and is undoubtedly right and verified by multiple persons with the necessary know-how.
Anyway, maybe discuss this somewhere else? I don't think it really fits the topic here in regards to zephyrgirl..


Edited by Dimitri (08/20/09 04:21 AM)
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#28694 - 08/20/09 05:57 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Dimitri]
Woland Moderator Offline
Seasoned
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 763
Loc: Oslo, Norway
Dear Ladies and Gentlemen.

I fear that this recent discussion about science vs. belief, (interesting as it might be), stands in danger of derailing the thread.

I would appreciate it if you would continue the discussion in a separate thread.
That is unless Zeph would prefer this thread to move in such a direction.

Thank you.
_________________________
Regards

Woland

Contra Mundum!

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#28706 - 08/20/09 12:27 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Woland]
Diavolo Offline
RIP
stalker


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 4997
No problem, we'll let Zeph die in peace here and move it to another area.

D.

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#29398 - 09/09/09 04:19 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Asmedious]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
Well guys, a bit of an update. My right hand and arm are numb alot these days so from my 60 wpm typing, it's quite often a bit slower as I have to concentrate harder on not making typos.

My taste buds have stopped working too, so food has lost most of it's appeal and that sucks as it was my last real life pleasure.

My stomach is getting very distended due to the pleural tumours and lymph nodes, so I look 5 months pregnant. And feel like I have a barrel shoved up or down there.

I have Moon face from the steriods, which are still working, but not in the manic way they were 8 or so weeks ago.

Actually my palcare nurse is pretty surprised that I am still here and up and about. So am I at times, but hey, we expect nothing less right?

The lilles out my window are looking beautiful though, and the willy wagtails have just laid their first 3 eggs for the season, spring is here.

I've sorted out pretty much every little detail of what I leave behind, however, I'll let my family plan the memorial. I'm not looking forward to dying, but I am looking forward to letting go....

Death isn't a dirty word. It's something we'll all experience, no matter how hard we deny it. And I really beleive this is my only time here. It would take alot more than a couple of articles to convince me of otherwise. Death can be beautiful too, I think mine is going to be. I will try and update once a week or so, but I'll probably spend alot more time sleeping over the next month/weeks or so. I have been dropping in regularly though.

ZephyrGirl
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#29431 - 09/10/09 01:54 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Woland Moderator Offline
Seasoned
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 763
Loc: Oslo, Norway
Dearest Zeph.

You got more balls than most men I know.
Enjoy springtime.
_________________________
Regards

Woland

Contra Mundum!

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#29446 - 09/11/09 01:42 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Woland]
blsk Offline
member


Registered: 09/22/08
Posts: 298
Loc: salem or
You have a wonderful gift being who and what you are, that is, you know to appreciate it. Everything. I do not doubt you will live on through your fulfillment of the ego.

The view of the moon through the bottom of a shotglass to you...

Hail ZephyrGirl
Hail satan!
_________________________
Ed made mens sewing cool.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9mhsW5aWJM

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#29529 - 09/13/09 08:47 PM Re: Dying time [Re: blsk]
DistroyA Offline
member


Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 478
Loc: Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, UK
I stumbled upon this thread a week ago, and couldn't find the right words to convey what I'm thinking. Apologies in advance if I've offended anyone with what I want to say.

This is a sad topic. It brings back memories I'm not keen on thinking of (Through no fault of anyone). My mother died from cancer 5 years ago, so I'm personally saddened by this in more ways than one.

All I can really say to you now Zeph is this; I hope the rest of your time on this plane of existence is as comfortable and enjoyable as possible, and I hope your passing is also as comfortable as possible.

You will not be forgotten.
_________________________
"A man chooses, a slave obeys." - Andrew Ryan of Ryan Industries (Bioshock)

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#29902 - 09/21/09 11:30 PM Re: Dying time [Re: SkaffenAmtiskaw]
Munki1 Offline
stranger


Registered: 09/15/08
Posts: 28
Yes, you are an inspiration! I will never forget you and I will tell your story to others to inspire them.

Munki

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#30435 - 10/11/09 07:08 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Munki1]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
Well guys,

Time is catching up with me and I am now living in hospice under 24 hour care.


won't be back here probably more than once or twice as I'm finding it really hard to concentrate on teh 'real' world..

will get kid to notify at death.

Love and hugs,

Tan xxxx
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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#30436 - 10/11/09 07:50 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Asmedious Moderator Offline
Moderator
senior member


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1725
Loc: New York

Love and Hugs Zeph. You will be missed.
_________________________
"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

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#30437 - 10/11/09 07:57 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Asmedious]
Jake999 Offline
senior member


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
It will be a sad day when we know for whom the bell tolls. But I'll celebrate your life and spirt. You rock, Zeph!
_________________________
Bury your dead, pick up your weapon and soldier on.


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#30438 - 10/11/09 08:16 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
6Satan6Archist6 Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2509
I don't really know what to say.

We didn't talk all that much, but the few talks I did have with you I enjoyed. From what I have seen you have taken all this in stride and for that I commend you. Though your time may be getting close to and your beauty shall be forever immortalized in those magazines. So if I don't get a chance to talk to you again; farewell, Zeph, you lovely MILF.
_________________________
No gods. No masters.

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#30439 - 10/11/09 09:04 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
I love you Tan. I know you already knew that, but I wanted to say it again.

Slide peacefully into the night.
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#30440 - 10/11/09 09:19 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Michael A.Aquino Offline
stalker


Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 2521
Loc: San Francisco, CA, USA
“You’ve been feeling tired,” said the stranger, “but I can do something about that. I’ve come to ask whether you’d care to join my Owsla. We shall be glad to have you, and you’ll enjoy it. If you’re ready, we might go along now.”

They went out past the young sentry, who paid the visitor no attention. The Sun was shining, and in spite of the cold there were a few bucks and does at silflay, keeping out of the wind as they nibbled the shoots of spring grass. It seemed to Hazel that he would not be needing his body any more, so he left it lying on the edge of the ditch, but stopped for a moment to watch his rabbits and to try to get used to the extraordinary feeling that strength and speed were flowing inexhaustibly out of him into their sleek young bodies and healthy senses.

“You needn’t worry about them,” said his companion. “They’ll be all right - and thousands like them. If you’ll come along, I’ll show you what I mean.”

He reached the top of the bank in a single, powerful leap. Hazel followed; and together they slipped away, running easily down through the wood, where the first primroses were beginning to bloom.

- Richard Adams, Watership Down
_________________________
Michael A. Aquino

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#30441 - 10/11/09 10:15 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Michael A.Aquino]
Morgan Offline
Princess of Hell
stalker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 2956
Loc: New York City
Much Love Zeph, Much Much Love.

Me
_________________________
Courage Conquering Fear
Fuck em if they can't take a joke
Don't Like What I Say, Kiss My Ass



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#30442 - 10/12/09 01:52 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Meq Offline
Banned
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 861
Well Tanya, if it's any consolation, in cosmic terms we will all be following you in the blink of an eye.

In the words of Shakespeare, "Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow".

(Yes I know, the Randroids will now consider me a commie for quoting the Bard... but fuck 'em!)

Enjoy your remaining time with us.

~Meq~

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#30444 - 10/12/09 02:36 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Meq]
Octavius Offline
member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 557
Loc: Left the party
My eternal respect for you, friend. Much love to you and your family. You will be missed by those whose lives you barely touched, but made an indelible mark upon.

Octavius
_________________________
So long, and thanks for all the fish.

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#30474 - 10/13/09 07:31 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Woland Moderator Offline
Seasoned
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 763
Loc: Oslo, Norway
Hotter than Hell!

XXX Wol
_________________________
Regards

Woland

Contra Mundum!

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#30477 - 10/13/09 03:48 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Bacchae Offline
Satan's White Trash Neighbor
member


Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 438
Loc: los angeles
its not often that i think of online people when im not actually online, but i think of you.
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#30482 - 10/13/09 09:50 PM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

Tanya,

Thank You, I am honored that you shared some of your time on this rock as my friend, in this limited medium of the Internet.

Rest well my friend, you will not be forgotten.

~Al
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#30877 - 10/28/09 04:08 AM Re: Dying time [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Meq Offline
Banned
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 861
Just saw the news from Speedy in the shout box.

Rest in peace Tanya. \:\(


P.S. Just discovered that this is my 666th post. Not the one I expected to make...

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#30879 - 10/28/09 05:06 AM Re: Dying time [Re: SkaffenAmtiskaw]
Woland Moderator Offline
Seasoned
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 763
Loc: Oslo, Norway
Rest in memory.
_________________________
Regards

Woland

Contra Mundum!

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#30883 - 10/28/09 07:01 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Woland]
School Bully Offline
member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 142
Loc: Melbourne

Commiserations. I know how popular Zephyrgirl was on these boards. Life's a real bitch sometimes but I doubt Zephyrgirl will ever be forgotten.

.
_________________________
.


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#30884 - 10/28/09 07:20 AM Re: Dying time [Re: School Bully]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
She put up a hell of a fight, and sacrificed her own life so she could bring her son to full term (she had been in remission when the cancer came back--right in the middle of her pregnancy). I know her kids brought her a lot of joy, and she really lived life to the fullest, even up until the end.

The pain's over. You will not be forgotten, Tanya.

_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#30885 - 10/28/09 07:32 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Nemesis]
Morgan Offline
Princess of Hell
stalker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 2956
Loc: New York City
Much Love Tanya, you will live on in our memories.
My condolences to your family.

Morgan

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#30895 - 10/28/09 12:42 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Morgan]
Dan_Dread Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 3812
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
I tip my hat to a fine lady and a life well lived.

Hail Tanya!

You are and will continue to be missed and remembered.
_________________________
ADM
ideological vandal

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#30907 - 10/28/09 04:33 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Dan_Dread]
6Satan6Archist6 Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2509
Goodbye Zeph - my condolences to those wh knew her better than I did.
_________________________
No gods. No masters.

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#30929 - 10/29/09 02:11 AM Re: Dying time [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
daevid777 Offline
active member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Hell's Pisshole, Texas
NO

I am selfish, and I don't want this.

I am selfish, and I want to speak with my dear friend, at least one more time.

Tanya, no more pain for you, just for us now, as we have to accept the Earthly loss of such a beautiful person.

You are loved, and you will be missed, tremendously.

David.
_________________________
Where we're going, we don't need roads.

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#30944 - 10/29/09 06:05 PM Re: Dying time [Re: daevid777]
Bacchae Offline
Satan's White Trash Neighbor
member


Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 438
Loc: los angeles
such a fucking beautiful woman. and she really lived.
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#31797 - 11/16/09 11:54 PM Re: Dying time [Re: Bacchae]
Speedy Offline
lurker


Registered: 01/13/08
Posts: 2
Loc: Adelaide, Australia
 Originally Posted By: Bacchae
such a fucking beautiful woman. and she really lived.


Tanya Forrester, nee Atkinson. aka Tanya Hyde, aka Tanya Hush, Born, 06-07-1970. Died, 29-10-2009.
She is survived by 2 beautiful, talented children, Harmony Kathleen Forrester, born 27-12-1996 and Jet Douglas Bond Forrester, born 29-03-2006

I have known Tanya since she was 18 years old. She was an interesting and challenging friend to have even when she was quite young. Tanya was brutal, with both her honesty and her friendship. She didn't suffer fools gladly, but always tried to see things from other peoples perspective, even in conflict. I have started putting Tanya’s life story together from where I saw it, for the kids. There is so much to tell. She certainly fit a lot of living life and doing things into her tragically shortened time here with us. If you would indulge me over time, I would love to put some of what I have already and will continue to write about Tanya’s life up here on The 600 Club. I am quite sure that this is disjointed, and for that I should probably apologise, but I won’t.

We both agreed wholeheartedly on giving our kids the chance to see and learn about any and all religions. We are however allowed to point out a few “misgiving” that religions have along the way. It is an expectation of both me and Tanya for our kids to be willing to listen to others, whilst being true to ourselves. I will never lie to my kids, and they both know it. They just expect the truth, and deserve nothing less.

If anyone had ever suggested that the two of us would end up married 12 years later, we both would have had a good laugh. It became one of my jobs through the years to pick her and her stuff up when a relationship went wrong. Tan always rang me I guess because she knew I was reliable. Years later after we moved in together, it was a great joke between us, who would come and get her stuff as I was living with her now.

Tanya had many demons to deal with even at 18. By the time we became friends she had already seen too many things a child shouldn't have. Tanya had a pretty tough existence as a child growing up; including 7 schools by the time she was 12. Attending 7 new schools in just less than 7 years is going to be hard, even for the toughest among us. She was always the new Kid, everywhere she went. She was the smart kid and the pretty girl, which only made it harder for her. She was a beautiful lady, both kind and honest. It amazed me as I got to know her better how she could be so forgiving after the shit she already had, had to deal with. She always made me look at all of my faults, and access the worst of myself openly.
She was the first person in my life that wanted me to be the best that I could be.

We spoke often on the phone and I visited her regularly even towards the end. Among other things, she asked me once when I was with her in the hospice, “is there anything of mine that you want as a keepsake after I’m gone”? I told her I didn’t want anything from her and that she had given me 2 of the most awesome children I could ever have hoped to have. Harmony is not my biological child but I knew her well before she was born. That little girl changed my life forever. I am a better man for sure by having both Harmony and Tanya in my little piece of the world. I do not favour Jet over Harmony, EVER! Tanya always said it was so cool the way I took on Harmony as my own. I was the one getting the all the good stuff, instant family, I was over the moon.

I can remember the day that harmony asked me if she could call me “Dad” like it was yesterday. I was thrilled, I can assure you. Harmony’s best friend, Sunshine, calls me Dad too, and has done for years. Harmony is moving in with one of her aunties not very far from where Jet and I live which is great. I want the kids to spend as much time together as they grow up. After we were married, Jet arrived. He is a champion too. He teaches me something of myself every day. It is a bit like, he has taken over his mothers job now of keeping me honest and on track. I have things I don’t like about myself as we all do. It is quite confronting though at times now having some of my flaws and faults showing from time to time, raw, awkward and fresh in Jet. Tanya has taught me so much about recognising my own faults and helping myself, that I am already well on the way of helping Jet do the same. Something maybe my parents could have done for me whilst I was still young too.

I can still feel the pride when Tanya told me I was doing an awesome job with Bringing Jet up and she was proud of me. It means so much to me that she was happy with me. She could do that you know, make you feel really special and look for your own self worth.

Both of our kids miss their mother very much and I have had some terribly heart breaking conversations with them. Young Jet has demanded at different times that I have to fix his Mum. I cannot explain the anguish felt when a father hears from his child “You have to fix mum for me, you just have to Dad”. Jet cries out often in his sleep. He has made me promise that I won’t go to the hospital and die like his mommy too. I can hear Tanya often in my head telling me to get my shit together and fucking sort it out. Tan said before she went that I wasn’t allowed to get caught up in any misspent grief as I have 2 kids to look after so just get on with it. . My home is now and always will be their sanctuary.

Well enough of my ramblings. Thank you for taking the time to read this, if you have done so. If you just scrolled down to the end, I would love you to read this. Tanya was an awesome woman. She was my respected friend, my confidant and my lover. I miss you so terribly much already Tan.

We both believed that there is no “other side”, but I can still talk to you on the wind. I can still go out the back, under the stars and ask the honest questions of myself, that you would have. I promise that I will accept the hard truth of myself and continue to change and grow. I will not turn away from these truths, when confronted with them. You have given us that are left so much and added the willingness to accept the simple truth, to all of our lives.

Love Ya Babe, You Rock!!

With love and respect
Speedy, aka Ian Forrester
_________________________
*"Don't find yourself, create yourself!"*

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#31798 - 11/17/09 12:39 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Speedy]
Asmedious Moderator Offline
Moderator
senior member


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1725
Loc: New York
Thank you Sir for posting that, it is appreciated on many levels. One of which is a reminder to us that there are real people behind the computer screen, and that life is out there to be lived and embraced when the opportunity presents itself, instead of having it dissected and over analyzed in cyber space, as if this place was reality in itself.

Tanya was a respected member of our little community here, and she is, and will be greatly missed.
_________________________
"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

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#31801 - 11/17/09 03:45 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Speedy]
fakepropht Moderator Offline
Big Slick
active member


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 990
Loc: Texas
Thank you so very much for sharing that. That was a fitting tribute. Sometimes we forget there is a human behind the fancy avatar and nifty screen name. Living actual human lives.

I hope the card and letter I sent arrived. I sent the card on behalf of this site and certain members. The letter was more personal from me.

BTW, if you would like to post one or both here, that is fine. I would, but I forgot what I wrote, LOL.
_________________________
Beer, the reason I get up every afternoon.

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#31804 - 11/17/09 04:06 AM Re: Dying time [Re: fakepropht]
Jake999 Offline
senior member


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
Thank you Speedy. I'm glad Tanya had someone close.
_________________________
Bury your dead, pick up your weapon and soldier on.


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#31818 - 11/17/09 10:23 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Jake999]
Nyte Offline
member


Registered: 10/19/09
Posts: 380
Loc: Ohio
I know this is going to sound extremely odd but yesterday, while getting ready for work I was playing Nickelback, the Dark Horse CD and the song If Today Was Your Last Day came on. I instantly thought of this thread and Tanya. I know I am new here and didn't have the chance to get to know her, but the connection I had felt while reading this thread was incredible. That song made me realize how much she really did do exactly what is asked through out it and how much I hope to be able to do the same for my own and myself, without it being my last day, of course.

A bit of info here....My oldest has Cystic Fibrosis and I have spent many a day arguing, pushing, shoving, fighting with him to realize that he needs to really live each day and give it his all, if he does nothing else. Sometimes it's so hard to make him see with work, everyday errands, everyday chores but something I have tried to make sure he sees is that if he's at least done his best everyday, then he's done good. He's still a typical teen, wanting to sleep all day and stay up all night. He still wants to be young and have things handed to him. Tanya's story helped me renew my belief in what I have and am doing and that even he can do something worth doing, every day.

I want to thank all those that have shared her story, herself and Speedy especially. Know that it has made a difference here, for me, and I'm sure touched many others as well. Thank you again!

To those that haven't heard Nickelback's song, listen to it just once. It's a good reminder that every day is what we make of it and when things aren't going quite the way we want them to, we can make a difference, no matter how little.
_________________________
If only just for today.....

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#55583 - 06/08/11 01:13 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Nyte]
Octavius Offline
member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 557
Loc: Left the party
I remember friends who are no longer with us today. I had a particularly horrific day and for some reason thought of Zeph. My day got better. I didn't know her well, but I knew her well enough.

Just thinking of Zeph today.
_________________________
So long, and thanks for all the fish.

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#55618 - 06/09/11 01:23 AM Re: Dying time [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
Octavius Offline
member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 557
Loc: Left the party
Agreed. I did not comment on this thread to resurrect it, but I felt I needed to comment on it for my own purposes. I was not inviting additional commentary in any way, and I apologize to those who may think that this thread would have been better left alone.

Zeph was a well respected member here, and many who knew her better than I miss her greatly, undoubtedly. I commented on this thread out of respect for her memory and to remind myself of her unbridled passion for life. Something I needed reminding of at the time.

Nuff said.
_________________________
So long, and thanks for all the fish.

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#55619 - 06/09/11 01:33 AM Re: Dying time [Re: Octavius]
6Satan6Archist6 Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2509
Not that you need my approval but I feel the need to say that I was not bothered by your post at all. As you said, you felt the need to comment on it for your own reasons. The difference between yours and Paolo's was that yours had a purpose; even if it was only to remind yourself of something.

And it reminded me of something too. Specifically, how much her and I butted heads in the past but eventually genuinely (I think) began to enjoy conversing with each other. Unfortunately, it was too little, too late.


I deleted the post and retort in question... Cause.... Morgan


Edited by Morgan (06/09/11 08:44 PM)
_________________________
No gods. No masters.

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