Page 1 of 2 12>
Topic Options
#25462 - 06/06/09 04:21 PM About children and raising them.
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3151
Most people like kids, and any parent and well-thinking human will agree that raising them is serious business which is not to be taken lightly.
Before raising them there must be taken some things in consideration, like the reason why you are really wanting to have them, other things as your finances making you capable of raising a new human individual till he/she is old enough to "flee the nest" and so on.
It is a must for taking all the possible problems and situations, which already starts when the child is newly born, in consideration before having them.

Responsibility is the keyword here.

But sometimes a headline reaches the news which makes me question the behaviour of certain people.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...ike-Barbie.html

 Quote:
Mummy's little Lolita: The 11-year-old girl whose beauty treatments cost 300 a month to make her look like Barbie

By Jenny Johnston
Last updated at 9:49 PM on 05th July 2008



She wore her first set of false eyelashes at eight, and her beauty treatments cost 300 a month. A sick abuse of an 11-year-old? 'No', insists Sasha's mother, 'I just want her to be famous...'

At 11, Sasha Bennington is too young to remember the days when Jordan was just a country and being branded 'fake' was something to be ashamed of.

But maybe the youngster's biggest tragedy is that her mother, Jayne, 31, is in no hurry to paint a picture of how it used to be.

Jayne is talking breezily about how Sasha had her first set of false nails glued on at eight, and now enjoys the sort of rigorous beauty regime - hair extensions, fake tans, pedicures - that was once the preserve of porn stars and Dolly Parton, not school children from Burnley in Lancashire.

Still, times have changed. 'All the kids are at it now,' insists Jayne. 'We spend about 300 a month on beauty treatments for her.

'Sasha's friends are the same. All girls their age are. Of course they are! Why else would you be able to buy make-up for pre-teens at Boots?

'Perhaps it's different in country areas, where they don't need to grow up so fast. But, around big cities, girls have got to be more forward and act older than they are. That's just the way it is.

'I don't understand why people get so upset about it. None of it is permanent. Tans wash off. Hair extensions come out. Why all the fuss?'

Just over a year ago, there was fuss galore when Jayne entered Sasha (then ten) in the junior Miss British Isles competition - Britain's first adult-style beauty pageant for children.
--> Whole article see link.




I found the article quite thought provoking. Where are the parents who still have the ability to think and know what "parental responsibility" is?
A question of aesthetics?
You have aesthetics and rational, well-thought over decisions and actions on opposite sides, whatever your personal feeling about it is, descisions and actions in real life are different from personal feelings. Being it that a feeling might not have a huge influence as an action has.

Aesthetically spoken you might agree (or not) with the mothers behaviour/take on the situation, but to me it shows a lack of responsibility and intelligence since she (in my opinion) looks like she doesn't know she is dealing with a real person, a new individual(to put it short). It might be "her" child, but it doesn't mean the girl has a mind of her own and isn't some kind of "pet" who does your bidding.

And taking a better look at the article:
 Quote:

Sasha's friends are the same. All girls their age are. Of course they are! Why else would you be able to buy make-up for pre-teens at Boots?
it isn't an exceptional case.

Anyone care to elaborate about the subject of raising children and/or the article.


Edited by Dimitri (06/06/09 04:46 PM)
Edit Reason: Rephrased a few things
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

Top
#25463 - 06/06/09 05:29 PM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: Dimitri]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
I don't like kids. I like the idea of having them even less. But there are people out there that can make great parents, and I say, leave to them what comes naturally. On the flip side, you have deranged parents like these, whose children are nothing but a genetic copy for one or both parents to exploit and relive their goals and aspirations through vicariously.

One thing she said struck me in particular:

 Quote:
'The pictures are amazing, and Sasha is such a lucky girl to have them. I'd love to have those sort of pictures, nice pictures, rather than ones you hide away because you can't bear to look at them.


So, apparently it's a damn good thing her daughter is not "average" or god-forbid "ugly". Can you imagine the level of emotional abuse the girl would be subjected to if that were the case? This girl looks like a brat, as she was raised to have that kind of attitude, and the sad thing is that she will more than likely have a career in the fashion/style industry because of what her mother did. Ahh, sweet success, and reaping the rewards of dressing your child like a whore and filling her emotional void with pools, clothes and weekly pedicures.

I will admit, she's a pretty girl, but when I saw the headline "Lolita" I immediately thought "young-looking girl child porn". Reading the article, I really wasn't far off base. This woman is treating her daughter like a princess, molding her into something she'd otherwise not be, grooming her to be successful in the most insincere, intellectually vacant industry possible, aside from porn that is.

Belly button pierced at 11? Yuck.

Just.....wrong.
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

Top
#25485 - 06/08/09 12:07 AM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: Nemesis]
Morgan Offline
Princess of Hell
stalker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 2956
Loc: New York City
Then people wonder why pedophilia happens?

When you turn a child into an object, the child loses something.
Something like innocence and a "normal" childhood experience.

There is a big difference between dressing up a child for school pictures and dressing them up for a "sexual attractive" pictures.

Dressing and looking like that at 11 years old or younger, is just a rape/assault/kidnapping waiting to happen. If you dress your child to look like an adult you can't cry pedophilia when something happens to your child. It's the parents fault for making their children look like teen hookers.

In the end, people are stupid and some like to live through their children. When she's pregnant at 15 her mom will wonder what happend.

Dumb people.

Morgan
_________________________
Courage Conquering Fear
Fuck em if they can't take a joke
Don't Like What I Say, Kiss My Ass



Top
#25487 - 06/08/09 03:29 AM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: Morgan]
ZephyrGirl Offline
R.I.P.
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 706
Loc: Adelaide Australia
I can't say I like kids all that much either. Only my own kids. LOL

Personally, what I say to my 12 daughter about getting pedicures and hair extensions is wait to be an adult so that you have some pampering stuff to look forward to. I've taught her to wear makeup, minimal and suitable for her physical maturity. My daughter looks alot older than her years, but no because of makeup and nails, rather her little body matured very young, unlike mine that went through the same stuff at 12 or 13 instead of 10 or 11. I teach her about fashion, but by that I teach her again about how to manage a waredrobe that is appropriate to your life. She has some amazing photos when I've done her up like a pork chop and taken her concerts........as a treat. She has also had all the singing, dancing and acting lessons she's wanted because she loves it and it was something I loved, but didn't get when growing up. I got horse riding lessons instead. So am I trying to live through her?????? No way!!!

Still what this women has done is the total extreme and I agree with Morgan that it is sexualising the child. I actually talk to my daughter about all these issues, and explain why she's not allowed to have her hair highlighted until she's at least 16, or fake nails until she can damn well payh for them herself.

You've got to have something to look forward to when you grow up other than just working and paying bills and being responsible. Let the massages and treatments start then I reckon. Otherwse, what are we going to do? Give our kids strippers and hookers for their 18th? Oh yeah hang on..........

I think there is an age appropriateness to it all. Personally I don't think there is any thing wrong in teaching the ability to make yourself look cute and wear nice stuff, but lets not porn star it up too young.

Zeph
_________________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


Top
#26562 - 07/01/09 11:26 AM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: ZephyrGirl]
Satans Scrotum Offline
stranger


Registered: 06/28/09
Posts: 49
I don't have anything to contribute to this thread, other than I think little girls in makeup is creepy. That little girls face in the photo looks "fake" to me, like it's made of plastic.
Top
#26571 - 07/01/09 02:39 PM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: Satans Scrotum]
fakepropht Moderator Offline
Big Slick
active member


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 990
Loc: Texas
Then why did you bother to "contribute" at all? One liners are not appreciated around here. Your 35 posts today offered nothing of substance. You basically came in here and puked all over the place. You may find yourself on the outside looking in very soon if it continues.
_________________________
Beer, the reason I get up every afternoon.

Top
#26572 - 07/01/09 02:53 PM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: fakepropht]
6Satan6Archist6 Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2509
Don't have kids, don't want them. I like my freedom. For me it is comforting to know that if I wanted to pick up and leave at a moments notice, I can. That wouldn't be the case if I had a family to take care of. Sure it would still be possible, but I wouldn't abandon a responsibility like that.

If I were to have kids I sure as hell wouldn't force them into beauty competitions like that. Aside from that fact that doing so is a one way to ticket to a semen-stained death in the basement, kids just need to be kids. There will be plenty of time competition and the like when they grow up and enter the real world.

That goes for other parents who live vicariously through their kids by, say, forcing them to play sports because; "I never made it to the NFL but little Jr. Son-of-a-Bitch will". Although I do find it amusing when I see the drunken parent brawls at school sporting events.

Luckily for me I didn't have overzealous parents like that. The only thing I was ever hounded about was doing my homework and passing classes. I was, however, given a cash inccentive by my step-dad to sack the QB when I played football in middle school. That was in addition to my cash incentive for getting good grades.
_________________________
No gods. No masters.

Top
#26583 - 07/01/09 05:09 PM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
god.over.djinn Offline
pledge


Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 75
Loc: Melbourne
The mother of the girl in the picture is a blatant psychological vandal. I don't think it will be an early pregnancy, as Morgan predicts, but rather drug abuse and a string of hollow fucked-up relationships. She will get to 35, look like she's 45, and have no capabilities that will lend themselves to a career change.

Anyone who wants their kid to have a shot at having pride in themselves and power over others, will go beyond the demeaning cosmetics of sexual servitude. Teaching your child to present themselves requires considering where notions of presentation actually come from. We are animals and respond as such. Our attire substitutes for our pelts and this may be ignored at the peril of the child - who depends on the parent to know about these things.
_________________________
SATAN, a recursive acronym invented by GOD: "SATAN: Advocating The Adversarial Nihilist"

Top
#26591 - 07/01/09 06:01 PM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
Satans Scrotum Offline
stranger


Registered: 06/28/09
Posts: 49
fakepropht, I'm still adjusting, I'm not used to giving my opinions unless directly asked for them. I'll make sure to give my post more substance from here on out.

As others in here, I also don't like children, I've never spent much time around them and find it hard to identify with them. And like Dimitri stated, they take a lot of responsibility, that I have none of. But oddly enough, I had a son recently, he's name is Leviathan "Levi" for short, and he is the light of his mothers life. As for me, I don't know how to take the whole thing, it's alien to me. Financially, I can provide, but I'm not a good role model, and that worries me. So as far as raising children and parenting, I have no idea, but my objective is just to keep the kid alive. So far it's been a success, he is alive and seems happy, he responds to music, becomes really smiley to Bob Marley.

My thoughts on the article aren't as easy, I don't know this women or her little girl. But it seems she is using her daughter like a real life barbie doll, makeup, nails, hair extensions, etc. And I believe Morgan has a lot of good points, if I was her parent, I'd worry about her safety looking the way she does. I wonder what this little girls mother looks like, I would imagine, being drop dead gorgeous or ass ugly.

She looks like a painted up cadaver.

Top
#26635 - 07/02/09 02:12 AM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: Satans Scrotum]
Jester Offline
pledge


Registered: 02/05/09
Posts: 62
Loc: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
I never want to have kids. Like 6satan6archist6 I enjoy my freedom as well. My ex girlfriend and I always got into an argument about kids, she wanted to have them one day and I did not at all. She was reasonable though. She knew we weren't in a financially good place to have them, but she wanted them in the future.

A lot of people I went to high school with have kids. And they parade pictures of them and are very much proud parents but I am sick of logging into my facebook and seeing new pictures everyday of their kids. "look at little susie poop, susie's first walk in the park, little billies first truck."

Plus I think the world is over populated and I don't want to contribute.

For those here who do have kids I only hope that you take care of them in an intelligent manner and teach them to be something great. Don't become like the mother in the article. It's one thing to give your kid a treat every so often. Just don't make them a little spoiled brat \:\)
_________________________
"...And I thought my jokes were bad."

Top
#80515 - 09/21/13 09:55 PM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: Dimitri]
SIN3 Offline
stalker


Registered: 05/14/13
Posts: 6873
Loc: Virginia


How much does it really differ from Honey boo-boo and her family?

Some say it's 'Society' that sexualizes small children while robbing them of their innocence, I think there's also an innate quality to it. Small children admire their parents like gods, and want to be just like them.
_________________________
SINJONES.com

Top
#80520 - 09/22/13 12:55 AM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: SIN3]
Naama Offline
member


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 318
Loc: NewYork
My kids are 3 and 4.
Some parents (according to my observations) get on their kids nerves by trying to "create" them (like Jehoba does), to turn them into "something" (make them "achievers").
Many parents put their dreams, hopes and expectations on their kids in such manner like they would decorate an x-mas tree, for example...
I think its very devastating for a children's psyches on the long run...
Such "educational philosophies" are sometimes widespread among many families, especially those of upper class, e.t.c..

My (personally) main goal is that my "kids would be happy".
Very often I explain them bitter truth(s) of life. Usually I treat my kids as if they were adults, grown up people... Bottom line is - I'm trying to explain them how to be always happy and content with oneself - that's something they will learn for future years.

Such pictures (discussion in this thread)- little girls wearing clownish makeup, high heels, artificial nails, adult dresses do not irritate me, because there is nothing really sexual about it. Maybe funny - at most...

And by the way - CPS busyness in USA (and in some countries abroad) is devastating. It's as stupid as it can get.
"A teaspoon of gasoline spoiled a whole jar of honey".
"A fly in the ointment".
Or "One bad apple spoiled the whole bunch".
I would not wish anyone here to check it out, practically. LOLL
_________________________
http://i57.tinypic.com/2j498ih.jpg

Top
#80522 - 09/22/13 02:08 AM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: SIN3]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3151
 Quote:
Small children admire their parents like gods, and want to be just like them.

Most of the time, it will be the parents who'll be influencing them into whatever they want them to be. Or do you really believe those midgets are trying to emulate their mother in that picture?

Yes, they admire them as gods. But on the other hand, who has an even bigger influence within their lives when it comes to the question of choices and general nurturing? It's not more than natural they'll mimic their parents' behaviour, there's seldom a total break-up/differentiating in order.
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

Top
#80523 - 09/22/13 02:25 AM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: Dimitri]
SIN3 Offline
stalker


Registered: 05/14/13
Posts: 6873
Loc: Virginia
I agree with you with regard to influence, obviously parents have the most influence over their children's lives but I still think that kids emulate their parents regardless.

It's normal for female children to want to dress up like their mothers. It tends to incite reaction when mothers use their kids as a meal ticket, as is the common trend with beauty pageant kids.

The Honey boo-boo family, the kid drives the parents as much as the parents drive the kids.
_________________________
SINJONES.com

Top
#80532 - 09/22/13 08:13 AM Re: About children and raising them. [Re: SIN3]
Le Deluge Offline
senior member


Registered: 08/05/12
Posts: 1790
I never liked kids until my nephew was born. It really amazes me to watch him grow, to help him develop his interests, and to see his constant progress in everything he sets his mind to. I mostly try to set a good example and encourage his forays into the vastness of life's experiences. I've learned from the kid as much as he has from me. His well-being is amongst my most serious of chosen familial duties. I am lucky to be living in the same town as my entire family now. My choice of private schools came in 2nd, but I was able to help nudge his parents towards a positive learning environment.
_________________________
Apres Moi ... Le Deluge

Top
Page 1 of 2 12>


Moderator:  Woland, TV is God, fakepropht, SkaffenAmtiskaw, Asmedious, Fist 
Hop to:

Generated in 0.026 seconds of which 0.007 seconds were spent on 28 queries. Zlib compression disabled.