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#26784 - 07/04/09 02:28 AM Need Money? Use Your Soul As Collateral!
Jake999 Offline
senior member

Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
RIGA (Reuters) Ready to give your soul for a loan in these difficult economic times? In Latvia, where the crisis has raged more than in the rest of the European Union, you can.

Such a deal is being offered by the Kontora loan company, whose public face is Viktor Mirosiichenko, 34.

Clients have to sign a contract, with the words "Agreement" in bold letters at the top. The client agrees to the collateral, "that is, my immortal soul."

Mirosiichenko said his company would not employ debt collectors to get its money back if people refused to repay, and promised no physical violence. Signatories only have to give their first name and do not show any documents.

"If they don't give it back, what can you do? They won't have a soul, that's all," he told Reuters in a basement office, with one desk, a computer and three chairs.

Wearing sunglasses, a black suit and a white shirt with the words "Kontora" (office) emblazoned on it, he reaches into his pocket and lays out a sheaf of notes on the table to show that the business is serious and not a joke.

Latvia has been the EU nation worst hit by economic crisis.

Unemployment is soaring and banks have sharply reduced their lending, meaning that small companies offering easy loans in small amounts have become more popular.

Mirosiichenko said his company was basically trusting people to repay the small amounts they borrowed, which has so far been up to 250 lats ($500) for between 1 and 90 days at a hefty interest rate.

He said about 200 people had taken out loans over the two months the business was in operation.
Bury your dead, pick up your weapon and soldier on.

#26794 - 07/04/09 03:11 PM Re: Need Money? Use Your Soul As Collateral! [Re: Jake999]
6Satan6Archist6 Offline

Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2513
That is probably the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. With terms like that, why even pay the loan back? Unless you actually believe in the soul you have nothing to lose. Maybe someone in the USA will be dumb enough to start doing that.

When I was in highschool I sold my soul to a kid in my math class who was a bible thumping freak and wanted my sould so he could "pray for it". He gave me $20.00 and I gave him a piece of paper that said "Robert's Soul". I wonder who got the better end of the deal there...
No gods. No masters.

#26805 - 07/05/09 12:40 AM Re: Need Money? Use Your Soul As Collateral! [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
TornadoCreator Offline

Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 586
Loc: No Fixed Address
My soul miraculously regrows... it must do because I've given it away, I've sold it and I've bartered with it on multiple occasions.

I sold my soul for 3 to a kid who said I'd never sell my soul. I said I sell it for whatever cash he had on him, he said OK. He gave me 3, I didn't even give him paper, I just said "OK, now you've got my soul", and he looked smug and walked off... I basically walked up and said "give me 3" to that kid and he accepted it, odd boy.

The second time I sold my soul was online. I said the first person to send my Paypal account 25 could have my soul on a Christian forum, I got the cash 3 days later so I spent 1.80 of it sending an envelope back with a card and "One Soul, Model : TornadoCreator, Condition : Damned" written on it.

I gave my soul away to one of my girlfriends on the back of a birthday card as a romantic gesture, and I got to try a new position in the bedroom that night which made the loss of my soul for the third time worthwhile.

Last week I swapped my soul for the last Jaffa Cake, I signed a peice of torn Jaffa Cake box and handed it to my dad reading,
"In exchange for the last Jaffa Cake, you now own [NAME]'s soul.
Warning: Soul comes pre-owed, water damage may be present, some chaffing may occur, do not use soul if pregnant, consult doctor before use. Refund not avaliable."

He thought it was funny and relinquished the last Jaffa Cake.

So as you can see. I'm either selling a time-share soul or mine grows back after I sell it.
If you can't practice what you preach, at least have the decency to preach what you practice

#26818 - 07/05/09 03:34 AM Re: Need Money? Use Your Soul As Collateral! [Re: TornadoCreator]
Impius Offline

Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 60
Loc: Lille, France
The only conclusion to get from your stories is : soul's worth a lot. Or : some people are really strange. Whatever.

What happens in Latvia is quite strange. Being in such an economic disaster probably makes people try odd things related to money. I guess it's a normal reaction of global (national) panic... since some people eventually sold their soul.

I wouldn't be surprised to see some good-thinking religious organization go there to stop the soul genocide \:D I guess such a society couldn't be created in an occidental country without that kind of annoyment anyway. These people just don't know how to have fun.

P.S. : TornadoCreator, I think we all want to know the new position you tried when you sold your soul ;\)
In the end everyone dies...

#26857 - 07/06/09 12:09 AM Re: Need Money? Use Your Soul As Collateral! [Re: Impius]
Jester Offline

Registered: 02/05/09
Posts: 62
Loc: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
If only I could settle all my educational debts by selling my soul. I would gladly give it over to the bank if they were to make my loan balance $0.00 hahaha. I mean, the only downfall is that automatic doors won't open for me. I'd have to wait for someone to walk in front of me. Haha, what a classic Simpsons episode.
"...And I thought my jokes were bad."

#27195 - 07/17/09 09:42 AM Re: Need Money? Use Your Soul As Collateral! [Re: Jester]
Maxim D Offline

Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 20
Loc: Portland, Oregon, United State...
Hell yeah I'd sell my soul for 500 wing-wangs! Does anybody know if anyone has actually paid the money back? that would be sadder...
The leaders of institutionalized religion should be institutionalized....

#27198 - 07/17/09 12:22 PM Re: Need Money? Use Your Soul As Collateral! [Re: Jake999]
Tranceparent Sky Offline

Registered: 05/02/09
Posts: 31
Maybe someone will make a college grant out of this, I desperately need money for school. What exactly would you do with a soul anyway? Fix the broken ones and sell them for profit?

Reminds me of when I used to build and run incomplete rollercoasters in Rollercoaster Tycoon."The cost of riding? Your life."
The cream cheese to my atheistic bagel.

#27243 - 07/19/09 08:11 PM Re: Need Money? Use Your Soul As Collateral! [Re: Jake999]
Mike Offline

Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 253
Loc: Farmingdale, NY
Wow, sign me up for that. How much would you think a soul would be worth in American dollars?

Seriously though, how much dumber can you get? Once the person they gave the loan to dies, what do they expect will happen? Do they keep the body on display or something? What does it mean to them to have someone give them their "soul"?

I wish they would do this in America. They wouldn't have to worry about too many people taking the deal...Besides, it would be nice to see exactly what the government thinks people are worth.
-Mike, "The Patron Satanic Saint of the Youth"

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