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#27579 - 07/27/09 04:47 PM "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow
6Satan6Archist6 Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2509
I came across this page today and couldn't help but laugh.

http://www.wikihow.com/Become-a-LaVeyan-Satanist

 Quote:
How to Become a LaVeyan Satanist

LaVeyan Satanists do NOT worship Satan, or any god, contrary to the popular belief that all satanists worship the devil. In essence, they worship their individual selfs. There are no "goat sacrificing" rituals or anything ridiculous of that nature attributed to Satanism. Satanism is, at its core, individualism — purely and totally. It is about deviating from the conformities of humanity around you. It is finding your own way, and choosing your own way. Satanism is about exploring one's own personality and sexuality. You need not hate, nor love. You only do as YOU wish. This is the way of the LaVeyan Satanist.

Steps

1. Research your new religion. There are many sources where you can learn more about Satanism and its beliefs. A Google search will turn up quite a bit of information. Consider reading The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey.

2. Get the other side of the story. Read opposing views of Satanism to make sure this is right for you. Again, a Google search will turn up vast amounts of information.

3. Join a church. There are many satanic churches around the world. Most of them do not last very long. Look into the more well established churches like "The Church of Satan" and "The First Church of Satan". Look at all of the churches and determine which one is most akin to your personal beliefs.

Tips


When researching Satanism, be certain that you are reading from credible sources. You will likely find much opposing perspectives from religions who believe that Satanism is about worshipping the Satan found in the Christian Bible, which is NOT true.

Warnings

Be careful when informing others of your interest in Satanism. Some people are not open-minded on this issue. Take it easy when informing your friends and family of your choice.

Unless an organization can show you that it is linked to an established church, think twice before subscribing to what they say.


This page seems like a bit of misinformation to me. Especially concerning the step that says one should join a church. Going to a church no more makes you a member of that churches religion than living in a tree makes you a bird. I wonder if anyone has come across this page and thought "it" was simply that easy.

Comments, questions....flames?
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#27580 - 07/27/09 06:09 PM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
That weak-assed article pissed me off, so I had to leave a comment under the "Discuss" tab. Goddamn middle schoolers.
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#27582 - 07/27/09 08:20 PM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
Jake999 Offline
senior member


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
I rest my case.

Sorry. One liner.

I rest my case now.
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#27584 - 07/28/09 12:49 AM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
fakepropht Moderator Offline
Big Slick
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Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 990
Loc: Texas
Excuse any grammatical errors....my keyboard is covered in vomit after reading that.

The most glaring error was "join a church". As if they exist on every other street corner. I concur with you 6.

So you "become" a Levayan Satanist by doing a few google searches and joining a church? BTW, how would a noob, trying to "become" a Laveyan Satanist know what a credible source is? A Myspace site with dripping blood and inverted spinning crosses? CoS? ToV? The 600 Club?

I think one would be well served to visit the Hall of Shame here and reading what actions got that member inducted. Try pulling up some posts from the members in that section and reading threw them.

I would type more, but now I have to google how to "become" an American Indian.
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#27587 - 07/28/09 02:07 AM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
Michael A.Aquino Offline
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Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 2573
Loc: San Francisco, CA, USA
Since 1975 I've been hearing an intermittent mosquito-drone of the mantra "I'm a Satanist but I certainly, absolutely, positively don't for a moment actually believe in, worship, or own allegiance to Satan." - generally from the Gilmoronic entourage, but occasionally from nonaffiliated individuals as well.

I have long since ceased boiling my blood about this. My interest in and obligation to the Church of Satan is obviously pre-1975, and since then I have myself no longer been a Satanist, but rather a Setian. Having gone beyond the limitations of Judæo/Christian frames of reference, metaphysics, and mythology, I cannot retrace to it again.

Having said that, the ancient revulsion and repugnance still arise when provoked by this mantra. Most often I just respond, as mildly as possible, something like this:

"A Christian is someone who believes in Jesus Christ, a Jew in YHVH, a Mormon in Jesus & God as revealed by Mormon et al., a Buddhist in Buddha, a Muslim in God as revealed to Mohammed, a Wiccan in the Goddess & Horned God, and - a Satanist in Satan. Indeed so strong, powerful, and potent is this last that it shrivels the others to ash by comparison. If you don't believe in Satan, then you have no right to his name whatever. And if you are an Atheist who is merely longing for "sinister glamor" by affecting his name because your fantasy-reflection is intolerably dull without it, you are still, only and inescapably, a hypocrite."

If the post-1975 representations of Anton LaVey are mentioned, I point out, again mildly, that consequent to his betrayal of his High Priesthood that year, he had no other course open to him thereafter; and the thousand dæmons of it pursued him to his death.

Then, if the conversation persists, I advise the would-be "Satanist" to pick up a copy of the Satanic Rituals [or my Church of Satan] and turn to the adult Satanic Baptism (COS Appendix #20). "This is the ceremony that real Satanists of the Church of Satan underwent to seal their right to that name. You go and do it; you swear to that Oath on your naked soul; and then you come back, look me in the eye, and tell me now what you are."

And when I encounter an Atheist even more bizarrely claiming to be a "priest" of the thing he disavows, I tell him that if he survives his Satanic Baptism and still wishes to grasp after his priestly title, then he had better turn to COS Appendix #65 and undergo the Church's formal Ceremony of Ordination to the Priesthood of Mendes III°. Therein is yet another Oath which, if taken with the full innocence of one's absolute free will, is immortal and unbreakable. No one who has ever tried to recant or renounce it has ever succeeded beyond a lingering, increasingly agonizing self-annihilation.

The consecrated Church of Satan that formally administered this Baptism and this Ordination is only a mist of history now, but the power and the dignity of those ceremonies and their Oaths are none the less for that. I will conclude with this from The Devil's Disciple:

 Originally Posted By: George Bernard Shaw
I was brought up in the other service; but I knew from the first that the Devil was my natural master and captain and friend. I saw that he was in the right, and that the world cringed to his conqueror only through fear. I prayed secretly to him; and he comforted me, and saved me from having my spirit broken in this house of children's tears. I promised him my soul, and swore an oath that I would stand up for him in this world and stand by him in the next. [Solemnly] That promise and that oath made a man of me. From this day this house is his home; and no child shall cry in it: this hearth is his altar; and no soul shall ever cower over it in the dark evenings and be afraid.

And this, "A Vision of Lucifer":

 Originally Posted By: Clark Ashton Smith
I saw a shape with human form and face,
If such should in apotheosis stand:
Deep in the shadows of a desolate land
His burning feet obtained colossal base,
And spheral on the lonely arc of space,
His head, a menace unto heavens unspanned
Arose with towered eyes that might command
The sunless, blank horizon of that place.

And straight I knew him for the mystic one
That is the brother, born of human dream,
Of man rebellious at an unknown rod;
The mind's ideal, and the spirit's sun;
A column of clear flame, in lands extreme,
Set opposite the darkness that is God.
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Michael A. Aquino

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#27608 - 07/28/09 12:43 PM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: Michael A.Aquino]
DistroyA Offline
member


Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 478
Loc: Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, UK
Please excuse me while I gouge my eyes out in frustration after reading this article.

Seriously, that's enough to rage at. "How to become a LaVeyan Satanist" indeed. I think it should be changed to "How to tell if you're are a LaVeyan Satanist or not", rather than a guide to "conversion".

Fucking people on the net. Give them a keyboard, and they can spread bullshit forever...
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"A man chooses, a slave obeys." - Andrew Ryan of Ryan Industries (Bioshock)

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#27611 - 07/28/09 01:59 PM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: Michael A.Aquino]
The Zebu Offline
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Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 1646
Loc: Orlando, FL
 Quote:
Since 1975 I've been hearing an intermittent mosquito-drone of the mantra "I'm a Satanist but I certainly, absolutely, positively don't for a moment actually believe in, worship, or own allegiance to Satan." - generally from the Gilmoronic entourage, but occasionally from nonaffiliated individuals as well.


hehe, you said "Gilmoronic".

Anyways, one does not need to believe in a supernatural Satan to be a Satanist. One is not a Platonist because he worships Plato as a god, but because he adheres to the philosophy embodied by his teachings. Same thing with "Satanist".

Nonetheless, if one were to ask me if I believed in Satan, I would unhesitatingly answer "yes", because whether or not Satan is a spiritual force, an ideal, a symbol, a force of nature, a representation of mankind, or some combination of these-- the moment the words "Satan is..." escape your mouth, you have made the statement "Satan is." and therefore confessed your belief in his existence.

LaVeyan apologists (wow, I never thought I'd ever use the word "apologist" in relation to Satanism), are too preoccupied with making themselves look presentable to the public eye, so they water-down their image to the point where they seem like little more than- as theists like to call them- "atheists playing dress-up". And those aren't too far off from the actual words they use to describe themselves.

This makes it sound like Satanism is a sort of external fashion accessory or trendy "statement"- it's not. In my perspective, Satanism is something very intimate and internal, something in the core of your being that thrives inside you-- even long after you step out of the ritual chamber.
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#27642 - 07/28/09 05:14 PM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: The Zebu]
Michael A.Aquino Offline
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Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 2573
Loc: San Francisco, CA, USA
 Originally Posted By: The Zebu
hehe, you said "Gilmoronic".

Anyways, one does not need to believe in a supernatural Satan to be a Satanist. One is not a Platonist because he worships Plato as a god, but because he adheres to the philosophy embodied by his teachings. Same thing with "Satanist".

Nonetheless, if one were to ask me if I believed in Satan, I would unhesitatingly answer "yes", because whether or not Satan is a spiritual force, an ideal, a symbol, a force of nature, a representation of mankind, or some combination of these-- the moment the words "Satan is..." escape your mouth, you have made the statement "Satan is." and therefore confessed your belief in his existence.

LaVeyan apologists (wow, I never thought I'd ever use the word "apologist" in relation to Satanism), are too preoccupied with making themselves look presentable to the public eye, so they water-down their image to the point where they seem like little more than- as theists like to call them- "atheists playing dress-up". And those aren't too far off from the actual words they use to describe themselves.

This makes it sound like Satanism is a sort of external fashion accessory or trendy "statement"- it's not. In my perspective, Satanism is something very intimate and internal, something in the core of your being that thrives inside you-- even long after you step out of the ritual chamber.

You said it more reflectively [and succinctly] than I did. I tend to get a bit worked up on this topic.
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Michael A. Aquino

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#27684 - 07/29/09 02:39 AM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: Michael A.Aquino]
bluj666 Offline
stranger


Registered: 07/14/09
Posts: 38
Loc: Tennessee,USA
its things like this articule that lead new comers to LaVeyan Satanism think that becoming a card carring member of the CoS is a life acheivement and lead them to actions that just make them into trendy intgrates that bring nothing to table. They also usually never grasp or understand the philosophy or what it really means to be a satanist.
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#27701 - 07/29/09 11:02 AM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: bluj666]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
Jesus fucking Christ dude.

Capitalize the first letter of a sentence, "I" when referring to oneself, and proper nouns like names and locations.

"articule" is article
"new comers" is one word
"acheivement" is achievement--I before E except after C
"intgrates" is ingrates, "an ungrateful person". So you're saying that the people who join CoS are trendy "ungrateful" people? What the fuck should they be grateful for? Do tell.

If you're such an amazing paragon of Satanism, why can't you be bothered to portray yourself as an intelligent one? Sounds to me like you're just as bad as the "trendy ingrates" that you show so much disdain for. And if you're going to bitch about how we're picking on you, it's because you need to step up your fucking game. We're tired of reading through your vague, uninformed bullshit.
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#28520 - 08/16/09 11:18 PM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: Nemesis]
zippadydooda Offline
pledge


Registered: 08/09/09
Posts: 61
Loc: San Diego, California
I probably read this article around a month ago when I found out I’m a Satanist. Wiki-anything is unreliable, but it was really the only place I knew to look. I did manage to find these forums, so I must’ve done something right. I don’t think my understanding of Satanism is up to par. But if someone has the capacity to even search for Satanism (in a serious matter as a consideration), wouldn’t it imply they also posses the ability to learn the truth of what it is?

It seems like getting a first car. Most people getting their first cars really don’t know a thing about cars, just that they want to drive. It seems like a learning experience, and I’m learning new things every day.

-cheers
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#28788 - 08/22/09 10:35 AM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: ]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
Listen Mr. Bristles, do me a favor. Don't tell me how to do my job.

I asked you to keep your posts in the Satanism 101 sub forum. I guess you didn't comprehend that after getting so bent out of shape about my reply in your Intro thread.

Please explain how you think La Vey was "talking out of his ass".
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#28796 - 08/22/09 03:12 PM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: ]
Diavolo Offline
RIP
stalker


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 4997
And another life form goes extinct again. Isn't survival of the fittest a great thing?

D.

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#28797 - 08/22/09 03:13 PM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: ]
6Satan6Archist6 Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2509
Me thinks you are about to go the way of the Dodo. Metaphorically speaking, unfortunately.

Edit: Damn you, D, you beat me to it.


Edited by 6Satan6Archist6 (08/22/09 03:14 PM)
Edit Reason: Marked
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#28811 - 08/22/09 06:21 PM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: ]
ceruleansteel Offline
active member


Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 784
Loc: Behind you
Now, if you would be so kind, Nem, as to get your penis out of your hand for a moment and delete all this unrelated bullshit, the world would be a better place....

It cracks me vertical that shadow went to his grave believing that you are a man.

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#29097 - 08/31/09 11:31 PM Re: "How to Become a LeVeyan Satanist" - wikiHow [Re: ceruleansteel]
Volvagia Offline
stranger


Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 11
You gotta look at these things instead of getting angry, just laugh. People in general are unfortunaley not smart. Or at least lacking common sense.

I can't believe one of the pieces of advice is to join a church, though. That's just really fucking stupid.
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