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#28997 - 08/28/09 12:31 PM Not so quick and dirty Rawkin' grammar
ceruleansteel Offline
active member

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 784
Loc: Behind you
Welcome to Satanism 101. The reason we have this area is because we don't want your shitty spelling and grammar mucking up the rest of the forums any more than we want your stupid, uneducated opinions flying around where the big kids play.

We're a parade of fuckin' rainbows around here, aren't we?

One of the unspoken tenets of Satanism is that you at least appear to be a notch above the rest of the riff-raff in the world. The stupid; the lazy, et al. That being said, when you post here post like you have an education past the second grade because when the desire to post outside of this particular forum overtakes you and you bring your nongrasp of the English language to another, more serious thread, we are going to get really fuckin' annoyed and rip you to shreds. We may even ban you, if you prove completely incorrigible.

Because remember, Satan is the bringer of WISDOM; the giver of KNOWLEDGE, and the bearer of LIGHT...which is another word for wisdom and knowledge. You cannot claim yourself to be playing in the major leagues when you have not yet even learned how to swing.

All that being said, follows is everything off the top of my head that I can think of that I am sick to fuckin' death of seeing and I am only one of many grammar nazis around here.


The word, "et cetera" is abbreviated thus: etc. There is NO OTHER WAY to do it. If you don't know how to spell and abbreviate your Latin, don't fuckin' use it.

They're = "They are". Only that and nothing more.
Their = shows ownership. "That's their shotgun, Cletus."
There = someplace that is not 'here'.

*Notice, if you will, that all of these words start with T-H-E.

You're = "You are". Are you seeing a pattern with the apostraphes yet?
Your = once again, showing ownership.

It's = "It is".
Its = shows ownership.

A contraction is two words that have been combined into one by way of the use of an apostraphe. The apostraphe ALWAYS goes where the missing letters are, even when not used in a contraction. This helps keep you from looking like an uneducated retard. I am from The South and often add an apostraphe when I drop a 'g' from a word as I am wont to do in real life...because that's what you do when you leave letters out on purpose. With one simple keystroke I go from looking like a lazy bitch who can't spell to making certain members hear me in a Southern Belle voice when they read my posts. Behold: the power of punctuation.

Won't, when saying, "will not"...this is another occasion for the use of an apostraphe. Get it, ya'll?

This is not Myspace, people. We do not speak in "u", "ppl", "I cnt wait 4 u 2 ban me" and shit like that (I actually had to edit that sentence in order to type it that way). We capitalize the beginning of sentences, proper nouns (given names, such as "Tom" or "Black Oak Drive"), and the word "I". We do not substitute numbers for words, and we do not speak in leet. A good bit of advice is to consider this place as a formal medium. Would you submit an email to the owner of your job that was barely legible? Don't do it here.

Those of you who are from a foreign country may just have to forego slang alltogether. This is an overwhelmingly English-speaking board and if your shit doesn't make sense to the average reader, it's not worth posting.

Commas are not to be thrown around willy-nilly. The main comma rule is that if you have a sentence that would naturally break up a bit when spoken, a comma is acceptable in order to give the reader the necessary millisecond to ingest the varying bits of information. You do not, use commas in this way. There is a difference between stressing a word (a case in which it would be either bolded or italicized) and breaking up a multi-pointed sentence.

Spellcheck is wonderful for those of you with less than acceptable spelling, but it doesn't know when you have used the wrong version of a word, and it doesn't always suggest the correct word-replacement. If your spelling is so shitty that even a spellcheck can't help you, either stop fucking making my eyes bleed or get someone else to proofread for you. Because Hell hath no fury like Ceruleansteel when she's sick of subpar posts made by morons who cannot even be bothered to properly express ideas in their native tongue.

Feel free to add to this thread. I know that I've not covered a lot of things that need covering.

Edited by ceruleansteel (08/28/09 12:45 PM)

#29229 - 09/03/09 08:31 PM Re: Not so quick and dirty Rawkin' grammar [Re: ceruleansteel]
Asmedious Moderator Offline
senior member

Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 1826
Loc: New York
I love my “commas,” but ever since you told me that I use too many of them, I’ve been a bit on the paranoid side about it.

I’ve actually considered taking a writing course for quite some time now, because as I told you in P.M, even though I have many books on grammar, after the first few chapters, I get lost.

I think that one of my major problems is “syntax.” At least that’s what I was told by a friend/coworker, who has a degree in education. I’m still trying to sort that out.

From what I understand, it is the order in which words are put into a sentence.

I could use the “English is my second language,” card, but from the second grade on, I got my education in the States.

Strangely enough, I still have an accent, which I would love to get rid of, but can’t seem to manage it. I’ve actually considered the possibility, that I might have a speech impediment of some kind and that perhaps it’s not just an accent.

Funny you should mention that if the spell check doesn’t know what you are trying to write then you have a serious problem. There are occasions when it has no idea what I’m trying to write.
One word that always fucks me up, is “restaurant.” (Even now when I wrote it, it took me four tries to get the proper spelling in the spell checker. It kept trying to give me “restraint.”

“Won’t” is another interesting word. One might think that it should be “Willn’t.”
Back in the 9th grade I attempted to convince one of my teachers that “Wont” is a slang word, but he insisted that it was not.

Sometimes I am also guilty of not proof reading what I write when I make a post.

I do appreciate constructive criticism, so if you or anyone else finds that I make repeated mistakes in my writing, such as was the case with the commas that you brought to my attention, feel free to let me know. I’m not one to take offense; on the contrary, as I said, I would appreciate it.
"The first order of government is the protection of its citizens right to be left alone."

#29291 - 09/04/09 08:59 PM Re: Not so quick and dirty Rawkin' grammar [Re: Asmedious]
ceruleansteel Offline
active member

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 784
Loc: Behind you
I have noticed the improvement on comma usage and I cannot express enough how much more enjoyable your posts have become because of it.

I think my biggest "problem" is that I read A LOT. I read all day at school, I read to kids at work, then I come home and curl up with either a novel or something telling me how to make the human race cry. Lots of reading. And when I come across something that isn't..."proper" for lack of a better word...the dude in my head who narrates to me while I'm reading gets all fucked up and starts complaining. (And why it's a dude in my head that does the narrations and not a chick is beyond me).

Anyway, I consider it a slap in the face when I come here to escape the myspace-mentality of writing and get some noob posting their introduction and I can't even figure out what the fuck they are trying to say because their writing skills suck so much ass. I really think that this is the only forum I have ever belonged to where proper spelling/grammar was not only encouraged, but lack thereof was punished...and that is one thing that keeps me coming back.

As an aside: I realized the other day that when I get a new reference book, I tend to skim through it back-to front instead of front-to-back, stopping here and there and reading paragraphs or chapters at a time, but then continuing on in the "wrong direction". I'm wondering if that has any significance.

#29294 - 09/04/09 09:21 PM Re: Not so quick and dirty Rawkin' grammar [Re: ceruleansteel]
Nemesis Offline
senior member

Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
I'm the same way when it comes to books that really don't have a "plot" per se. I blame it on my impatience. You know damn well they ALWAYS put the interesting stuff towards the end!

It's also why books are so expensive for me--I need to buy a lot of them to keep myself occupied for a decent length of time.
Nothing is sacred.

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