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#73086 - 11/21/12 12:26 AM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: ]
tuathacoagula Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/20/11
Posts: 24
Loc: Japan
Personalities change over time based on experience and circumstance. There is perhaps a core to the person that will always be a little more static. Not to say everyone is destined to be 'that way' from birth until death, but like turning a tanker on the ocean, it takes a longer time.

Perhaps aspects of my personality have come to the fore, whilst others have receded. On a very deep level I am striving for inner peace. Not some airy fairy zen or spiritualist fluff, but acceptance of my own self. From my own observations, this is something that comes with age and wisdom (the older and wiser may wish to disagree!) .

However, since embracing Satanism I have changed. I do not want to call it a nihilistic streak, or being more self-assured but I am less inclined to 'play ball'. Or play nicely with others.

Examples of this come from my recent job hunting here in Japan. For those who don't know, the English teaching industry here in Japan sucks. Contracts are exploitative and so are the companies view of their clients (these are broad brush strokes, and there are many good companies and teachers in Nihon).

However, whilst others will accept certain stipulations in written agreements or work conditions I have pulled companies up on it more than once. Part of this is to get what I feel is an appropriate deal for my employment, and part of it is to be an ansty bugger and a pain in the butt.

When push comes to shove, don't cut your nose off to spite your face. Everything else is game. So, yes I have 'developed/changed'.

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#73218 - 11/26/12 02:52 PM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: Fist]
Dagusu Offline
stranger


Registered: 08/02/10
Posts: 10
Loc: Nuevo León, México
Well, I wouldn't say it changed my personality; when I first heard about Satanism I was a teenager, I was growing up physically and psychologically so I think even though it didn't change me it helped me to grow up into the person I am today.

I've always been some kind of "black sheep" in my family and when I first read "The Satanic Bible" it made me feel... relieved, accepted and thanks to that I started to act like the real me, not like the person my family and teachers wanted me to be so, for me, the "discover" of Satanism was a support, a guide while growing up but also what gave me the courage to show the world who I really am.

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#107366 - 06/29/16 05:35 AM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: Fist]
ShadowLover Offline
member


Registered: 05/26/16
Posts: 351
Loc: Gold Coast, Australia
In my experience, personalities are like band-aids, whereas aspects are more who we innately are.

I delved into my various personalities and aspects when I was in my mid-thirties... I gave them gummy names (which were relevant at the time) and actually started to consciously watch them come and go and interact in my everyday life. I suspect humans have the same or similar aspects, but our personalities can be very different because they result from our individual environments.

Aspects...
The Goddess - which probably represents my true essence and who I would be if all the shit was stripped away.
The sorceress - this is the maths/science pragmatic aspect - the mental body.
The beast - my instinct. Hot blooded.
The Assassin - cold blooded... the thing that reminds you to breathe after your second auto-pilot has clapped out - a bit like a Terminator.

Personalities...
The Baby Girl - a part of myself that broke away when I was 3yo and then for many years became my most prominant personality.
The Rebellious Teen - an older sister that sometimes pulled rank to save the younger personality's arse.

It was good to separate them and interesting to observe. I began to see what was driving me in certain situations and learned to engage certain aspects at will.

When I was younger I was very much a pleaser who had a problem saying "No." In my early forties I came across "The Four Agreements" and invoked the second one in particular... "Don't take things personally..." At first when I said "No" I would feel guilty but with work that passed. It took a couple of years to master. Now I seriously couldn't give a fuck - saying "No" is so easy. And on the odd occasion when I do accidentally say "Yes", I have no qualms about changing my decision.

And a few months after I accomplished that I had a mental epiphany and the little girl personality completely dissipated overnight, as did her sister who was only there for her protection anyway.

I wouldn't have thought it possible to completely abolish such a prominent personality - I mean she controlled just about everything in my life! And I liked her - it didn't matter what whorish thing I did, I had an eternal innocence - men loved her. I was one of those women that still wore Hello Kitty jewellery and cute hair ties, and then overnight it all completely vanished and her needs and fetishes vanished along with it.

I thought if she ever disappeared that I would miss her. I didn't know who I would be if she ever left. But I don't miss her. It has been a couple of years and I have never missed her or her hair ties. I feel stronger.

In conclusion, I believe changing or shedding personalities is more to do with healing than with Satanism. However, if Satanism was the machine that perpetuated your healing than it certainly is likely that it helped change your personality.
_________________________
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

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#107546 - 07/10/16 09:23 PM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: coelentrate]
antikarmatomic Offline
BANNED
stalker


Registered: 09/22/13
Posts: 3208
Loc: El Mundo
Interestingly enough, yes. The day after reading LaVey's essay on lycanthropy I noticed that there was hair where there was no hair before. There was this tingling sensation in my core. My voice started changing. I found myself attracted to those I had once considered icky and repulsive. Some have reported bleeding spontaneously and for no reason, but this was not the case with me (fortunately). In any case I found myself somewhat more self-aware around those who were afflicted by this bleeding thingy for some reason.

Some say this might be a coincidence, but these symptoms are way too freaky and idiosyncratic to attribute to anything else but the devil.
_________________________
Angelic harlequins and sinister clowns.

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#108322 - 08/27/16 03:47 PM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: antikarmatomic]
venomcultist Offline
pledge


Registered: 06/07/16
Posts: 77
I believe that god did a giant crap on my head and I have developed the tendency to want to hit my mother and father with a vagina until they explode into a big ball of flame.
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#108324 - 08/28/16 02:14 AM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: venomcultist]
CanisMachina42 Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 1254
Loc: CA
Thanks for resurrecting another topic to post on. \:\)

Did my personality change?

Naw, I'm still a defiant fuck that takes stands on every little thing.

What did change is how I take my stands. There's an eye for hypocrisy and need for honesty with myself that little drama queen bitch of 4 years ago didn't have. And all I need was that example to say, "I didn't really use to be like that, did I?"

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#108530 - 09/09/16 07:59 AM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: coelentrate]
Persona non grata Offline
member


Registered: 01/27/15
Posts: 469
 Originally Posted By: coelentrate
When you realized you were a Satanist, did it change your personality?

While I could certainly take issue with any one of the several varieties of satanic philosophy, one of the more reasonable, and consistent, elements would be its use as a descriptive tool (not a prescriptive standard) pertaining to anyones given behavior, adherence to indoctrination, or lack thereof. The nature of your language suggest that one discovers a "prescriptive standard Satanism", potentially producing ones personality, rather than the more genuine discovery of "descriptive tool Satanism" which explains that personality already present. One is an addition of nomenclature, whereas the other is basic fanboyism.

 Originally Posted By: coelentrate
If not, did it change the way you talk or act?

The addition of nomenclature is by definition a change in, or specification of, language utilized within a given science or philosophy. This evolution of vocabulary will occur regardless of ones being genuine or fanboy, as the only requisite is being exposed to, and regurgitating, new terminology. The use and accuracy of said terminology is determined by ones approach being descriptive or prescriptive, thus indicating an observation of inherent traits, or an adherence to sub-cultural expectation. Again, an issue of adaptation vs fanboyism.

 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
My Satanism now is different from the one I started with upon applying membership here.

Likely because your "Satanism" pertains more to this forum than practical application.

 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
Parts became more meated out, others started to get more refined

You studied other forum members and learned to emulate them, adapting to the nomenclature and placing terms where you were socially expected to, with no requirement to demonstrate the verisimilitude thereof.

 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
and others simply disappeared and recognized as the mistakes they were.

You ceased to demonstrate any of those behaviors which violated the tenants of the subculture you were submitting an application to.


Edited by N913 (09/09/16 08:02 AM)

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#108536 - 09/09/16 01:21 PM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: Persona non grata]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3276
 Originally Posted By: N913
Likely because your "satanism" pertains more to this forum than practical application.

While this is the place I frequent most, my presence is not limited to this one. I'll have to admit that "Satanism" here in Europe isn't as big and down-trodden as the U.S. which makes gatherings and convents quite rare or even non-existant.

However, my living and breathing remains unknown to many of the people here. Something which I pretty much prefer.


 Originally Posted By: N913
You studied other forum members and learned to emulate them, adapting to the nomenclature and placing terms where you were socially expected to, with no requirement to demonstrate the verisimilitude thereof.

Do you expect me to follow the lead of a chosen few you deem 'worthy'? Yes, I observe. The same way I learned cooking. I observe and emulate and draw my own conclusions. Not following your (or any one elses) "cookbook" gives me enough versatility to call out bullshit.

Besides, since when did adopting nomenclature to broadens ones linguistic powress become "emulation"? Not all words are immediatly known to me (despite being one of the few multilinguists here) and I will adapt certain nomenclature if I find they can convey the message more fluently.

Mouses to elephants...

 Originally Posted By: N913
You ceased to demonstrate any of those behaviors which violated the tenants of the subculture you were submitting an application to.

Demonstrate to whom? You? A failed journalist and petty ONA nut-swinger?

Tell me... did you fail or flunk?
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#108539 - 09/09/16 03:01 PM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: Dimitri]
Persona non grata Offline
member


Registered: 01/27/15
Posts: 469
 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
 Originally Posted By: N913
Likely because your "satanism" pertains more to this forum than practical application.

While this is the place I frequent most, my presence is not limited to this one.

I literally laughed out loud just now. I'll try to keep in mind that your Satanism is on more than one internet forum... lol.

 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
 Originally Posted By: N913
You studied other forum members and learned to emulate them, adapting to the nomenclature and placing terms where you were socially expected to, with no requirement to demonstrate the verisimilitude thereof.

Do you expect me to follow the lead of a chosen few you deem 'worthy'? Yes, I observe. The same way I learned cooking. I observe and emulate and draw my own conclusions. Not following your (or any one elses) "cookbook" gives me enough versatility to call out bullshit.

I rest my case. Your thing is 'calling bullshit' and thats fine and all, only you require someone else to substantiate you by offering the content in the first place. That draws a line between you, and those other guys able to manifest their own content. Just saying. See, you can use the words in a reactionary manner, but you cannot command them, because you lack that which the terms actually indicate...

 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
Besides, since when did adopting nomenclature to broadens ones linguistic powress become "emulation"? Not all words are immediatly known to me (despite being one of the few multilinguists here) and I will adapt certain nomenclature if I find they can convey the message more fluently.

The issue is not its use, but its intention. One can utilize terms which do not accurately represent their character. Just look around.

 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
 Originally Posted By: N913
You ceased to demonstrate any of those behaviors which violated the tenants of the subculture you were submitting an application to.

Demonstrate to whom? You? A failed journalist and petty ONA nut-swinger? Tell me... did you fail or flunk?

Neither. I made Deans List repeatedly, and was awarded numerous Golden Leaf Grants, during my college years. I was at odds with the red-tape and legalities of journalism, and so during a Law and Ethics class, I wrote a "Fuck You" letter to the Governor and my Professor, emailed it to each of them, and dropped out instead of finishing the semester and interning at a radio station. I still have the letter saved somewhere around here. More details at your request.

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#108541 - 09/09/16 03:32 PM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: Persona non grata]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3276
Well my dear Darryl, I'm not making a game about it.
I've been here for some time. That's correct. Long enough to have seen many people rise, crash, burn, re-invent, burn some more and dissappear.

Yes. My talking about Satanism is indeed limited to 600club and the SoTHG. I see no reason to wear and flip out pentagrams in daily life. Talking and flashing the symbols around do not constitute to the kind of Satanism I follow. That's a phase for the unexperienced and unknowledgeable to stay in. I generally get on with life and indulge in those things I find pleasurable without having the need to refer my environment the "Satanity" of my attitude. So yeah... pardon me for not putting out tons of wordpress-blogs who, at best, will draw attention to the same 20 or so wankers frequently encountered. I'm not a pleaser.

 Originally Posted By: N913

Neither. I made Deans List repeatedly, and was awarded numerous Golden Leaf Grants, during my college years. I was at odds with the red-tape and legalities of journalism, and so during a Law and Ethics class, I wrote a "Fuck You" letter to the Governor and my Professor, emailed it to each of them, and dropped out instead of finishing the semester and interning at a radio station.

This is a joke right? "I made the Deans list"? How utterly impressive... during college even!!! My my...

What a bad boy you are...
You remind me of a situation back when we had during our last national elections. I was chosen to be the secretary/ vice-president in one of the polling places from my district. There was this one guy who did not want to vote and refused to register his presence. (Up here in Belgium we have a sort of compulsory voting system [not compulsory to vote but compulsory presence]).
We let him have his way but warned him that if we couldn't register his presence that it could imply legal sanctions. Just like yourself he gave it a big "fuck you", got a legal fine and we just shrugged our shoulders. No one was really impressed. Just another autist set in his ways hoping to earn some "credits" one way or another.
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#108546 - 09/09/16 06:12 PM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: Dimitri]
Persona non grata Offline
member


Registered: 01/27/15
Posts: 469
 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
...I've been here for some time.
...My talking about Satanism is indeed limited to 600club and the SoTHG.
...the kind of Satanism I follow.
...I was chosen to be the secretary/ vice-president in one of the polling places from my district.

...

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#108550 - 09/10/16 01:55 AM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: Persona non grata]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3276
So.. your point being?
What kind of ghosts are you trying to hunt?

Spill the beans.

Also, do try to give a substantiated response.
Unless you've forgotten the house-rules here and want to re-start drama for having been temporarily "removed".
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#108558 - 09/10/16 11:10 AM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: Dimitri]
Persona non grata Offline
member


Registered: 01/27/15
Posts: 469
I assure you, Dimitri, that any drama produced will be of your own production. I offer observation. How people feel about my views are not my concern. When I address the failure of ones logic, and they reply with "forum rules" this, and "Ill tell the mods" that, well, enjoy your "satanism". My point is obvious.
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#108562 - 09/10/16 12:55 PM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: Persona non grata]
venomcultist Offline
pledge


Registered: 06/07/16
Posts: 77
Ok guys I kidnapped Leonard, I have him tied up in a bath naked, I've been feeding him toast with barbeque tongs...
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#108572 - 09/10/16 06:40 PM Re: Did your personality change? [Re: venomcultist]
fiendish Offline
member


Registered: 02/27/16
Posts: 400
Considering how Satanism is altering the context in which I put my own entity, it is very much likely to have changed my personality. After all, I'm still enjoying my choices.
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The truth cannot be deleted.
The body of real things, events, and facts.

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