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#32503 - 12/03/09 07:44 PM Advice
William Wright Offline
active member


Registered: 10/25/09
Posts: 862
Loc: Nashville
Tonight around dinner time, my wife told my 12-year-old daughter to do something – something both of us knew she wouldn't be excited about doing. My daughter responded sarcastically, as she often does. I quickly interjected, pointing out to my daughter (in front of her mom) that she was asking for trouble – even though I understood where she was coming from.

Alone with my daughter, I said that it might be helpful if she thought about things the following way: In her mind, she was a rock star. She could think whatever asshole things she wanted. In her mind, no rules applied. But in her words and actions, she should be a politician. Be diplomatic and disciplined and controlled. I said that if she kept this in mind, she’d find that things would generally work out in a way that served her best interests.

I’d like to get your thoughts on my advice to my daughter.
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#32504 - 12/03/09 08:08 PM Re: Advice [Re: William Wright]
Gemini Offline
pledge


Registered: 03/18/09
Posts: 56
Loc: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
My father often gave me the same advice in dealing with my mother - to be tactful and diplomatic, but to scream "FUCK YOU!" as loud as I wanted, in my head. I never listened, and wound up screaming "FUCK YOU!" a lot audibly, but the point is, it was solid advice.
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#32505 - 12/03/09 08:10 PM Re: Advice [Re: William Wright]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
You basically summed up what I do on a daily basis. How could I disagree with that? \:\)
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#32509 - 12/04/09 03:58 AM Re: Advice [Re: Nemesis]
William Wright Offline
active member


Registered: 10/25/09
Posts: 862
Loc: Nashville
Before anyone asks, I don't remember what it was my wife asked my daughter to do. I'm sure it was something menial. If she had asked my daughter to do something I felt strongly against, I would've constructively voiced my concern. Otherwise, I think it's important as a parent to present a united front.

To me, the bigger issue was not what my daughter said but how she said it. If she had responded with tact, she might have had better luck with her mom. Hell, my daughter might've even gotten her own way. It all comes down to being smart about things. Don't be your own worst enemy.
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In Minecraft all chickens are spies.

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#32529 - 12/04/09 02:56 PM Re: Advice [Re: SkaffenAmtiskaw]
Room 101 Offline
member


Registered: 10/17/09
Posts: 262
Loc: Scotland
My father imparted a similar sentiment regarding life to me at an early age. I think (to the best of my memory) it was after a boxing match I had lost. His word were along the lines of “image is everything; you can hate the little shit all you want, but for fuck sake shake his hand”. The true meaning of those words dawned on me a few years later, but the point is, they hit home...albe it eventually.

Never one to openly oppose the way things work, my father taught me to bide my time and play by the rules while it suited me. I would be polite, courteous and helpful to those whom needed to hear it, while kicking up a storm in the punch bag between my ears.

You have imparted a great deal of wisdom to your daughter with this lesson; lip service to something you don’t believe in/want to do, is very often more productive that open opposition.
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"Nothing is your own except the few cubic centimeters inside your skull." - George Orwell (1984)

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