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#32722 - 12/09/09 04:51 PM Being Proactive
6Satan6Archist6 Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2509
One of the most annoying personality traits I see in people is their tendency to complain, about everything. What makes it even more annoying is their seemingly total lack of motivation to do anything to better their situation. It is almost as if they think bitching and moaning will help. In reality it is only counter-productive, and, to people like me, fucking annoying.

Let me give you an example of what I am talking about: Earlier today I was talking to a friend of mine who was complaining that her school schedule was switched from four days a week to five days a week. She was angry because Fridays are her “party with friends day”. I asked her if there was anything she could do about it and she said “probably not” so I told her that she was just going to have to deal with it. I guess that makes me an asshole.

Now, I am far from perfect and will admit that I, at times, have complained about things of which I have not actively tried to do something about. However, I do realize how pointless such behavior is. That being the case I make an honest effort to avoid it.

I was unhappy with the quality of my life, the dead end job I was working and I knew it wasn’t going to get better on its own. So what did I do? I took steps in the direction I wanted to go; I filled out the FAFSA so I could get financial aid and enrolled in college. With every class I complete I am one step closer to achieving my goal of having a better life.

The defeatist mentality can be a hard one to overcome, but you can either overcome it or live life as a victim to it. The choice is yours.
_________________________
No gods. No masters.

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#32723 - 12/09/09 05:15 PM Re: Being Proactive [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
CJB Offline
member


Registered: 10/12/09
Posts: 125
Loc: Virginia Beach, VA
There's an old saying in the Navy: a bitching sailor is a happy sailor.

OK, it might not be that old. But it's true. Even when things are awesome and spectacular (good schedule, easy watches), there are those things that we (the majority of us that don't make the rules) love to complain about.

Sometimes complaining about stuff is a release. There's some policy or some action that you can't do anything about, and the only way to release the frustration is to bitch about it. Occasionally, if enough people complain, something changes.

Now, when someone complains about something that is well within their power to change, yeah, the only purpose that serves is to make the person sound like an idiot.
_________________________
~~CJ
"To say 'I love you' one must know first how to say the 'I.'"
-Ayn Rand

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#32724 - 12/09/09 05:22 PM Re: Being Proactive [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
Not to mention, constantly bitching also makes a person extremely unpleasant to be around. Nothing chases away friends and acquaintances faster than endless complaining.
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#32730 - 12/09/09 08:38 PM Re: Being Proactive [Re: SkaffenAmtiskaw]
dozicusmaximus Offline
lurker


Registered: 12/02/09
Posts: 3
Loc: TX. USA
I bitched alot in the Navy. The main reason for me is because they told me who, what, when, where, why and how to do everything. If I decided to do it differently I would get fucked with. Even if my results were better. This was for smaller bullshit tasks. I just like to see what I can get away with I guess. And how strict my superiors were. If it was a job that involved peoples lives on the flightline, I was by the book.
I still find myself complaing about stupid crap. But my outlook on things has changed the past year or two. And I try to do something about my problems rather than complain. Sometimes easier said than done.


Edited by dozicusmaximus (12/09/09 08:41 PM)
Edit Reason: .

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#32731 - 12/09/09 08:54 PM Re: Being Proactive [Re: dozicusmaximus]
BFranklin Offline
stranger


Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 33
Loc: Boston
Rule of the Earth - When in another's domain, show him respect or else do not go there. When you joined the Navy, you voluntarily (I assume) entered another's domain, and everything that comes with that domain.

Rule of the Earth - Do not complain about something to which you need not subject yourself.

Just the same, thank you for serving. Military people rock.
_________________________
"Democracy is 2 wolves and a lamb deciding what to eat. Liberty is a well-armed lamb"
-B Franklin

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#32732 - 12/09/09 09:19 PM Re: Being Proactive [Re: BFranklin]
dozicusmaximus Offline
lurker


Registered: 12/02/09
Posts: 3
Loc: TX. USA
Very true. I definitly knew what I was getting myself into. Maybe my complaining was a way to try and convince myself that I had more control over my situation. To defy the very thing I subjected myself to. Never thought of it like that. I guess I just like to terrorize myself. haha
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#32744 - 12/10/09 01:39 AM Re: Being Proactive [Re: dozicusmaximus]
Gemini Offline
pledge


Registered: 03/18/09
Posts: 56
Loc: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
 Originally Posted By: dozicusmaximus
I bitched alot in the Navy. The main reason for me is because they told me who, what, when, where, why and how to do everything.

Part of joining any branch of the United States military is the signing away your Constitutional rights - they cease applying to you.

Me? I like my rights. And while I wouldn't consider joining the military now, for primarily that reason (plus I couldn't join if I wanted to - I only have one hand. Ha!) I still have a tremendous amount of respect for those who are in the service.

The Government I'm not a big fan of; and few fail to recognize that serving one's country & people and serving the Governnmet are two entirely different things.

Anyway, I got off topic. Folks who bitch and moan about things without making the effort to change what they don't like. My father is a great example of this - a wonderful cynic he is.

I may bitch for a while about some things, but I eventually get down to business and whatever needs to be done.
_________________________
http://www.soundcloud.com/onewingedangel

-Gemini

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#32745 - 12/10/09 02:16 AM Re: Being Proactive [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
FriendlyS Offline
stranger


Registered: 10/05/09
Posts: 39
Loc: Toronto, Canada
I was thinking of making a thread similar to this because of various occurrences lately but you beat me to it, haha.

 Originally Posted By: 6Satan6Archist6
I asked her if there was anything she could do about it and she said “probably not” so I told her that she was just going to have to deal with it. I guess that makes me an asshole.

I'm finding lately that the only thing more annoying than a person complaining about something they can't change is a person complaining about something which they have everything in their power to change. People need to take some damn responsibility.

While the former type of person is annoying, I sometimes tend to be like that (although I really try not to) because its a way to feel better and just let things go when there's nothing else that can be done to feel better. As CJB said, sometimes enough bitching can bring change and if not, at least you might feel better. Chronic bitching doesn't help anyone though, it just makes you a pain to be around.

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#32756 - 12/10/09 04:58 PM Re: Being Proactive [Re: SkaffenAmtiskaw]
6Satan6Archist6 Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2509
Just a general reply:

My OP was referring to people who bitch about things that can be changed. If whatever is inconveniencing you is out of your hands and complaining makes you feel better about it, then do it, just don't expect people to not get annoyed about it.

Joining the military is truly a different story. If you sign up willingly then you are agreeing to submit yourself to those conditions. Therefore you really have no right to bitch at anyone but yourself. Unless, as someone else mentioned, you don't want your S.O's thinking you have it too easy. A pretty intelligent observance actually.
_________________________
No gods. No masters.

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#32764 - 12/10/09 07:20 PM Re: Being Proactive [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
CJB Offline
member


Registered: 10/12/09
Posts: 125
Loc: Virginia Beach, VA
One thing about the military...and this is a really bad excuse...some people don't know what the're getting into. Navy recruiters have a tendency to gloss over the crappy parts (but hey, they're salesmen, that's their job), so someone who doesn't do any research, etc., honestly doesn't know what the hell they're getting into. It's their own fault, really, for jumping into such a big decision like that without doing research.

Those kind of people, by the way, are really fucking annoying to be around. I knew, for the most part, what I was getting into, and in the end of my first enlistment, decided to re-enlist. There are people that join for four, decide they don't really like it, and get out with a minimum of bitching. And there are those who go through the entire process doing nothing but complaining about everything.

The worse...the absolutely most annoying and idiotic person...is the guy that, for four or six years, does nothing but gripe, moan, and complain...and then re-enlists. And then, after their re-enlistment, do nothing but gripe, moan, and complain.

I think those kind of people are the guys that 6 is talking about, even more than the naive types that do something without realizing what it's all about (whether that's joining the military or whatever.) It's the guy or girl who does nothing but complain about their boy/girlfriend and keep going back to them, or the kid that does nothing but complain about his job at McDonald's but never tries to rise above that station.

I've tried to get inside this kind of person's head, but never have I been able to figure out why they do these things. Other types of people that I fundamentally disagree with, I can at least understand why they do the things they do, and I pride myself on that insight...but the useless complainers? I cannot wrap my head around why the do the things they do.
_________________________
~~CJ
"To say 'I love you' one must know first how to say the 'I.'"
-Ayn Rand

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