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#35369 - 02/09/10 10:31 PM Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men
MelanosDivinity Offline
stranger


Registered: 02/08/10
Posts: 29
Loc: Port Gibson, Mississippi
Why must anyone strive to seek approval of their fellow men? Why should I want to seek your approval? Is who I am not enough? As a newbie I would hope that other newbies would not go those extra lengths to seek approval from those they do not know, this is not the objective. The objective in my opinion is not to seek approval from your fellow men but to first seek approval within yourself. Without inner approval their is no external approval. I have taken the liberty of deciding that who I am is enough for me and if it is not enough for others then I guess they will have to just cry me a river.

To summarize, my prerogative is not to judge others, but to first judge myself, who I am will automatically confer judgement upon others.



Edited by MelanosDivinity (02/09/10 10:32 PM)
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#35406 - 02/10/10 11:27 AM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: MelanosDivinity]
Noctuary Offline
pledge


Registered: 02/01/10
Posts: 92
Hmm. I like judging. Both me and others. I am one judgmental woman. I guess I don't see anything wrong with it. I judge if the milk is good by the smell. And I judge a person I meet by their meeting of my eyes and their hand shakes.

Though I get not wanting or caring about approval of others. If that were totally true.. I wouldn't put makeup on in the morning. I want others to not only approve me..but to be completely taken by me.


Yeah, this post went nowhere. Sorry about that.
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#35412 - 02/10/10 11:43 AM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: MelanosDivinity]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3118
You have the ability to judge yourself, but the human mind is self-delusional in nature and it takes a great amount of will to have the right mindset to see yourself as you are trough others eyes.

The question is not if you, or another person, should seek approval. The question is how to represent yourself and to carry the fruits of it. It can be seen as "seeking approval", but when it boils down to personal level, it becomes nothing more then presentation and "feeling" of the self.

Knowing who you are and approving the standards you have laid upon yourself are not always enough. It might be a great way to stand firm when personal attacks are given, but it will not help you to maintain the same position when it comes to events or positions wherein approval of others is needed (ex: bussiness/work).

A person can claim not to follow up to other persons standards for various reasons, yet there will always be situations in which you will need to match up and to be approved if you want to have it easy and/or comfortable.


Edited by Dimitri (02/10/10 11:45 AM)
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#35419 - 02/10/10 12:49 PM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: MelanosDivinity]
Autodidact Offline
member


Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 428
 Quote:
Why must anyone strive to seek approval of their fellow men? Why should I want to seek your approval?


If you desire or are required to work with another person, or a loosely-bound group of people, gaining their approval makes for a better relationship. This translates to less effort on your part. Approval is usually not *required* in this case, but it usually make things easier. Choose as you wish.

Groups that are tightly-bound usually have their approval as a prerequisite to joining the group (whatever "joining" equates to for them). If you want in, you need the approval. Again, choose as you wish.

Other than that, you don't need their approval.

 Quote:
Is who I am not enough?


No, from their point of view. Remember that almost everyone will judge you according to themselves. See above.

Yes, from your point of view. Know thyself, and either be content with who you are or change yourself. In the end, you are the only one you need to make happy.

 Quote:
I have taken the liberty of deciding that who I am is enough for me and if it is not enough for others then I guess they will have to just cry me a river.


Self-pity is pointless. They will not cry for you - they will ignore you.

You are your own god. Understand both sides of that statement.
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An nescis, mi fili, quantilla prudentia mundus regatur?

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#35447 - 02/10/10 08:55 PM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: MelanosDivinity]
MatthewJ1
Unregistered



The smart people (in my view) are always discriminating, judging and discerning others in order to size them up; to see how they tick; to see what use they can have, and whether they can be friends, allies, innocent bystanders or potential enemies.

It would seem that inner approval means that you have a sense of self awareness and self acceptance for who you are?

To seek the approval of others or not? Let the specific situation dictate the approach.

I would agree with Dimitri that acquiring genuine self Ė awareness can be a difficult, but essential to your success.

You determine your strategy because you know who you are and what will work, given who you are and the target to be acquired.

I want approval as Noctuary states. I want to command the right viewer to look and to be held in place and to be convinced and be ready to agree with me and act in accordance with my will.

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#36671 - 03/17/10 09:40 PM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: MelanosDivinity]
exadust Offline
pledge


Registered: 03/09/10
Posts: 91
Loc: georgia
I choose who I need approval from. If they have something I desire I'll show them a little of what they want.

As far as people that serve me no purpose it doesn't matter if they approve of me or not.

And when I get all I can get out of someone they get to see my true colors if they so deserve it.
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Herein you will find truth and fantasy. Each is necessary in order for the other to exsist.

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#36764 - 03/19/10 03:20 PM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: SkaffenAmtiskaw]
Miss May Offline
pledge


Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 66
Loc: sebastopol, CA
Seeking approval is useless for those who seek unconditional love. They will simply continue to pine for something without putting the effort in to get what they want.

An individual will continue to mold themselves and put effort into achieving their goals.

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#37597 - 04/14/10 10:35 AM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: MelanosDivinity]
William Wright Offline
active member


Registered: 10/25/09
Posts: 860
Loc: Nashville
I seek the approval of others every day Ė at work, at home, with my friends, etc. I seek their approval because if they approve of me, theyíre more likely to give me what I want. Seeking approval is an essential component of lesser magic. Itís how I shape the world around me to conform to my wishes.

This is, of course, quite different from seeking approval for self validation. If others donít approve of me, I shouldnít consider that a reflection of my self worth. However, it might be worth my time to consider why they donít approve of me and if thereís something I should do about it. It all comes down to whatís in my best interest.
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#38156 - 04/28/10 03:30 AM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: William Wright]
Caliga Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/15/10
Posts: 16
I judge and discriminate all the time. In fact, I find I get in trouble the most when I ignore or refute my own instincts about a given person.

As for judging myself, I evaluate continuously. Only by checking "where I am at" can I determine the most effective path to progress how I desire.

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#38187 - 04/29/10 10:03 PM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: Caliga]
Lucifer Rising Offline
member


Registered: 04/10/10
Posts: 147
Loc: Indianapolis, IN
I am far less worried about acceptance than I am respect. I care not if people approve of who or what they believe me to be, as long as I hold their respect. There is at least one guy I know at work that is down right scared of me, but I ask him to do something he does it without delay. In fact, I've learned he's made keeping me happy an extremely high priority because he found out I was a Satanist and is afraid to piss me off. I don't hold a position of authority, not everyone there likes me, but almost every single one of them listens carefully when I have something to say.

However, different situations do give cause for different tactics. If I'm at a club or a party, meeting somebody for the very first time, or doing an job interview, I may focus much more on acceptance to ease the creation of whatever type of relationship I may desire from the person. Yet at work and everyday life, I have found respect far more important. Acceptance, for me at least, is almost a non-issue until I choose to win their acceptance to achieve a certain goal.
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Even if you're the ultimate evil lord of the underworld, you should always be yourself. Mickey Mouse

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#38206 - 05/01/10 10:36 AM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: Lucifer Rising]
Satansfarm Offline
member


Registered: 01/12/08
Posts: 352
Loc: america
There have been several times when doing business that I could not make a deal because the client did not like my beliefs. Satanism scares people. Sometimes I will tuck my pendant under my shirt. There are other times when I don't like the situation anyway, so I don't care what the other person thinks. Also, just because someone is a pagan or a Thelemite or a Satanist doesn't mean that I am going to like them. If I don't like someone, I might not tell it to their face, but I will avoid them. Life is too short.
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#38253 - 05/03/10 06:52 PM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: Lucifer Rising]
William Wright Offline
active member


Registered: 10/25/09
Posts: 860
Loc: Nashville
Lucifer Rising, I think you may be confusing respect with intimidation. Donít get me wrong, intimidation can be an important tool in oneís arsenal. However, people who respect you will stand by you when the going gets tough. I have a feeling that if the going got tough for you, your fellow workers would shit all over you. Intimidation breeds resentment, and it can bite you in the ass if youíre not careful.

As for telling those at work that you are a Satanist, I think youíre playing with fire. I would thoroughly assess the situation before revealing that. Good luck.
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In Minecraft all chickens are spies.

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#38262 - 05/03/10 10:57 PM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: William Wright]
Lucifer Rising Offline
member


Registered: 04/10/10
Posts: 147
Loc: Indianapolis, IN
Don't worry William. I'm not going around declaring my Satanism. The only person intimidated by me in that sort of fashion is the one I spoke of. He only knows because a coworker was over at my house and saw my Satanic literature and he told him. It is more of a rumor at this point except for a few who bothered to ask. I am not confusing respect for intimidation. They respect me for my intelligence and my abilities and have long before any of them have heard anything of my Satanism. Some of these people are deeply rooted in my social network already and I already know I am able to count on them from experience. The point is most people there trust me enough to stand behind me. I just kind of laugh at the one that's actually intimidated by me. I even hung out with him a bit this weekend over at a friend's house because he just showed up. He was all jumpy and nervous. I thought it was funny. Most of the people at work I see around all the time because we mostly all have mutual friends somewhere. These are not people completely unfamiliar with the way I think.
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Even if you're the ultimate evil lord of the underworld, you should always be yourself. Mickey Mouse

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#38396 - 05/09/10 09:01 AM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: Lucifer Rising]
William Wright Offline
active member


Registered: 10/25/09
Posts: 860
Loc: Nashville
LR, you may want to consider taking the jumpy one in, so to speak, as a kind of project. Find out what makes him this way. Is he only jumpy around you, or is he jumpy in general? Perhaps deep down he is fascinated by you, but this fascination manifests itself rather awkwardly as jumpiness. Is he a smart guy, perhaps a bit nerdy, or is he dull?

I suggest this project not as an act of benevolence toward him but as a learning experience for you. Iíve found that those who have a strong emotional reaction to me often turn out to be a valuable resource as a friend/enemy. Might there be something gained by a relationship with him? Maybe thereís more to him than meets the eye. Just a thought.
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In Minecraft all chickens are spies.

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#38405 - 05/09/10 02:58 PM Re: Seeking Approval Of Fellow Men [Re: William Wright]
Lucifer Rising Offline
member


Registered: 04/10/10
Posts: 147
Loc: Indianapolis, IN
Thanks Will. I've been trying to do this a little bit already. He's funny as shit and actually kind of cool to hang out with. He seems like one of those people that just naturally tries to make sure everyone likes him. Or maybe he actually is trying really hard. He does seem a bit aware of this, tho I do not think he's fully conscious of it. I am fairly certain he identifies himself as Christian, yet I can't say that with total conviction. So I'm thinking, once he found out about my Satanism, his Christian beliefs started conflicting with his natural tendencies. It does seem he's letting his guard down a bit. As I seem to be correct about his desire to be accepted, it shouldn't be too difficult.
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Even if you're the ultimate evil lord of the underworld, you should always be yourself. Mickey Mouse

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