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#36288 - 03/12/10 10:38 PM I want to know if anyone has any regrets?
exadust Offline
pledge


Registered: 03/09/10
Posts: 91
Loc: georgia
I like to see how people view their lives! It's interesting to listen to some people's excuses and how they justify their actions in certain situations. For me my only regret is trying to be acceptable to my family, I see that they only wanted to control me because no one else could, and I let them because at that time I thought that I owed them something!

If anyone would like to share feel free!!!!
_________________________
Herein you will find truth and fantasy. Each is necessary in order for the other to exsist.

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#36289 - 03/12/10 10:50 PM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: exadust]
Vlad Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/09/10
Posts: 21
Loc: Virginia
Everything I've done has led me to be the man I am today. I love myself, therefore, I regret nothing I've done in my past. Every action I've taken has had an impact on me and has changed the direction my life has taken me thus far, and I would not change that at all. To do so would be to fundamentally change who I am.

I have no regrets.

"What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: "This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence - even this spider and this moonlight between the trees, and even this moment and I myself. The eternal hourglass of existence is turned upside down again and again, and you with it, speck of dust!" Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus?... Or how well disposed would you have to become to yourself and to life to crave nothing more fervently than this ultimate eternal confirmation and seal?" - Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science


Edited by Vlad (03/12/10 10:54 PM)

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#36290 - 03/12/10 11:09 PM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: Vlad]
exadust Offline
pledge


Registered: 03/09/10
Posts: 91
Loc: georgia
Thank you for your response! I think that if it were possible to change something it wouldn't change me because everything that has happened in my life has happened because I allowed it! I've always been me I've just lost perspective from time to time! Situations do not mold me. I mold situations!
_________________________
Herein you will find truth and fantasy. Each is necessary in order for the other to exsist.

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#36299 - 03/13/10 04:16 AM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: exadust]
Wake Offline
pledge


Registered: 11/11/09
Posts: 93
Loc: Australia
Every action you carry out results in an outcome. Whether you are pleased with the outcome or not you'll have been made wiser from the experience. Feeling regret indicates that you have gained knowledge. Regret comes from realization.
Therefore, I don't see regret (necessarily) as a bad thing.
_________________________
To love a stranger, one's love must be cheap

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#36300 - 03/13/10 04:43 AM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: Wake]
Noctuary Offline
pledge


Registered: 02/01/10
Posts: 92
I don't really have large regrets. All of the dumb ass mistakes have led me to who I am today. I figure if I regretted those mistakes it doesn't really matter. I am pretty sure I would simply make other ones in there stead.
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Devils speak of the way in which she'll manifest

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#36314 - 03/13/10 11:46 AM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: exadust]
Ruwan Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/10/10
Posts: 8
Loc: Bahrain
Regrets for me are an interesting thing; most people would prefer to forget them. I remember my Regrets and try to learn from them, they are like the scars on my body each one has a story each one could have been avoided. But they werenít avoided they are there and they wont fade, the only logical thing to do is to learn from them and not repeat the mistakes that caused me pain.
In my opinion everyone should have at least a few regrets in there life, with out regrets and pain we can not learn or grow and with out conflict we lead meaningless lives.
I have only a few very painful regrets that I have made peace with, however with all due respect they are my business.
_________________________
The man who choices to ignore the value of his own life, Is not worthy of it.

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#36317 - 03/13/10 01:31 PM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: Ruwan]
felixgarnet Offline
active member


Registered: 10/17/09
Posts: 688
Loc: UK
As a middle-aged person \:\) I've done a life-assessment quite recently and, if I wanted to dwell on them, I could come up with quite a few things to regret right now. However . . . that would mean I'd now be a different person in a different physical and mental environment (presumably) and, as this is the only Me I know (and like) I can't be bothered playing with regret.
Incidentally - and this is the truth - the major regret that has been the major causal factor of many others - would have to be of being too damn nice to people who weren't worth the energy.
I don't do that now. ;\)
_________________________
"Here's to Artifice!" - Anton Szandor LaVey.

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#36442 - 03/14/10 07:55 PM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: felixgarnet]
Babylonian Dream Offline
stranger


Registered: 11/07/09
Posts: 43
Loc: Upstate New York
No regrets, I learn from mistakes I make. I don't care too much how others see me. Then again, I'm still 20 so I have many years ahead of me, alot more time to make mistakes.
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"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself" Sagan

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#36445 - 03/14/10 08:47 PM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: Babylonian Dream]
Shadow Dragon Offline
pledge


Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 95
There are things I wished I would have done differently, but you shouldn't get hung up too much on your mistakes. Well, other than to learn from them of course.
_________________________
"There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance." - Socrates
Cogito ergo sum.

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#36491 - 03/15/10 07:22 PM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: exadust]
exadust Offline
pledge


Registered: 03/09/10
Posts: 91
Loc: georgia
The thing about life is that you "live and learn, and crash and burn".

Basically for the most part everything I do is intentional.
Personally I never apologize for anything. I don't use the phrase " I'm sorry". That phrase means nothing because if someone were truely "sorry" they wouldn't do whatever it was they did.

The main reason for this topic was to see the what responses came out.

"Sorry" for the deception but that's just me!!!!!!
_________________________
Herein you will find truth and fantasy. Each is necessary in order for the other to exsist.

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#36505 - 03/16/10 01:59 AM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: exadust]
Doomsage680 Offline
member


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 111
Loc: NJ, USA
I've heard that phrase a lot and I used to believe it. But looking back, there's definitely decisions I wish I made differently. I think what people mean when they say they have no regrets is that they don't dwell on the past. Sometimes the people who claim they live how they wish with no regrets are the people who just don't want to acknowledge bad decisions. In their case, it may benefit them to dwell in the past a little longer before jumping to the next rash decision.
I apologize to people when I feel I've made a mistake and wish to repair the damage I've done to our relationship. I treat it as a promise though, that I won't repeat the same mistake. Mostly, however, I don't regret what I've done and one can avoid regrets by thinking carefully about what they do and keeping their values and goals in mind.

For many people, they do overuse the words "I'm sorry." But it's up to the individual to not tolerate those people in their life.

If I could go back and live my life again, I would definitely do it differently, if I had knowledge of how I lived it the first time. There's definitely things I could have done that would outweigh what I learned, how can I say there's not? I definitely would have told my parents I was depressed years before I did. Why waste all that time again being miserable? Sure everything has a lesson to be learned, but everything has a cost. Maybe I'd do it all different just to experience a different side of life. It would be great. At the very least I would be more confident with girls and not so nervous. Lol.
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"I who have nothing but the comfort of my sins"
- Vinny Paz

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#36522 - 03/16/10 07:10 AM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: SkaffenAmtiskaw]
Deckar Offline
lurker


Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 2
Loc: UK
Someone once pointed out to me that whatever you've done in yur life was exactly what you wanted to do at the time, whether it was nicking that penny chew from the corner shop or going to university. So regrets are pointless. Most people who have posted on here have said exactly the same thing in a different way.

It's not entirely true, though. Some of the things I did, I did because I was under pressure from my family or employers when I was too young and dumb to know how to say "no". Even so, you live and learn.

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#36537 - 03/16/10 12:01 PM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: Deckar]
XiaoGui17 Offline
active member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1126
Loc: Amarillo, TX
Most people seem to mention how they approach their regrets or past mistakes; learn from them, but do not dwell, and keep moving forward. Generally that's my rational conclusion, although admittedly I am weak when it comes to applying it. On the one hand I am very grateful for the lessons I've learned from the mistakes I've made, but on the other it's a pain trying to pick up the pieces.

I actually can think of quite a few concrete ones I would list:

Granted, I don't suspect anyone here doesn't know this already. I'm not so much advising anyone else as reminding myself what I've learned. You can get a fair idea of what my regrets were by gauging what I learned from them.


1) Bad relationships: WHOA boy. I guess I had a Disneyesque fairy tale understanding of how love works, with soulmates and eternal devotion and the whole nine yards. That stuff is poison, I would never want my kid to grow up believing in love at first sight, first kiss, or happily ever after. I learned a few very valuable things, though:
--Early in life, relationships are uncertain. Invest more in your OWN future than in a relationship that may or may not last.
--Loyalty in a woman is romanticized in our culture, but I learned the hard way that loyalty, like pride, is only as valuable as the object it is directed towards. Strong loyalty to a worthless man is worthless.
--Be a little selfish with sex and finances. Don't give everything without expecting anything back; you'll get exactly what you signed on for.

2) Bad schoolwork: All but two of the semesters I spent in school averaged a 3.0 GPA or higher. But those two semesters dragged me down considerably, and I will have some explaining to do when I apply for law school. I learned a lot about time management and realistic assessments of my own capabilities. I also learned, as stated before, investing in my own future comes before concerns about my personal life and relationships.

3) Nice guys finish last: The single Satanic statement that impacted me the most was responsibility to the responsible. I was way too generous and I crippled myself with pity for others. Always make sure to look out for #1; look out for others only so far as you can reasonably expect reciprocation. I took altruism to an extreme, in my personal relationships, my politics, and my lifestyle. And I got jack to show for it. The world is not a better place and I am much worse off.

4) Take good care of yourself. Don't put other concerns before your health and personal welfare; you will lessen your capacity to work if you drive yourself too hard. I still often act like I'm a superwoman who doesn't need to sleep, and it always messes me up. I am currently working off a lot of weight I slowly put on with grease and sugar. I could have saved myself a lot of trouble by eating right and exercising regularly in the first place.

If I could go back in time and talk to myself, I'd essentially say: "Be more sensible. Focus on the long term. Don't get distracted or lose sight of your goal. And form reasonable expectations; don't blow your efforts on pipe dreams."
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Wir halten uns an Regeln, Wenn man uns regeln lšsst

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#36543 - 03/16/10 12:32 PM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: Vlad]
6Satan6Archist6 Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2509
 Originally Posted By: Vlad
Everything I've done has led me to be the man I am today. I love myself, therefore, I regret nothing I've done in my past. Every action I've taken has had an impact on me and has changed the direction my life has taken me thus far, and I would not change that at all. To do so would be to fundamentally change who I am.


This pretty much sums it up for me as well. As humans we will all make mistakes but if we didn't make those mistakes we would never grow. I have done things that I eventually felt sorry for and even wished I could go back and undo them but at the same time I am quite happy with where I am in my life. There is no telling where I would be now had I done things differently.

Dwelling on the past is no way to live; everyone stumbles now and then and all one can do is regain their balance and keep moving forward.
_________________________
No gods. No masters.

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#36544 - 03/16/10 12:34 PM Re: I want to know if anyone has any regrets? [Re: exadust]
William Wright Offline
active member


Registered: 10/25/09
Posts: 860
Loc: Nashville
There are many things I wish Iíd done differently. One thing Iím reminded of on a daily basis is taking out student loans. Granted, it has taught me a valuable lesson about borrowing money. Still, Iíd gladly give back my masterís degree to be out of debt.

Thereís a couple things I keep in mind regarding regrets. First, I can't undo the past. Therefore, itís pointless to beat myself up for it. Second, if I learn from my mistakes and use them to make better decisions in the future, then Iíve given my mistakes worth.

Looking back, Iíve made so many laughably bad decisions that itís a wonder Iím in my own home with my health and my family, sitting here writing this. But here I am, determined to make the most of ALL my decisions. Thatís what growth is all about.
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In Minecraft all chickens are spies.

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