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#42936 - 09/11/10 10:00 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Fnord]
Bunz Offline
lurker


Registered: 08/26/10
Posts: 3
Loc: Georgia (USA)
The husband usually deals with this kind of nonsense. I prefer to answer the door with the hammer back. No words required. We live in a "church triangle". One fire baptized and two regulars surround is in a shape that roughly mimics a triangle.

My mother-in-law experienced something truly hilarious one day. She head some major commotion on our side of the fence. The dogs were barking and making a LOT of noise. You can tell, at times, the difference between a regular "get off my property" kind of bark and the "I am gonna rip you apart" bark. So she comes out to our gate and sure enough, there are some unknown people in our yard (we know the meter reader and the trash collector). Our two Min Pins had gotten out of their chain link enclosure. They were literally CIRCLING the car. These people were backed up to their vehicle, staring at the dogs. They asked my MIL if the dogs bite. Her response: "They haven't bitten anyone YET, but I advise you to get in your car and off this property now". We never heard from them again. I do wish we had video.
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That which does not kill me had better run like Hell.

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#42964 - 09/12/10 01:43 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Bunz]
Lamar Offline
member


Registered: 02/03/10
Posts: 226
Loc: Alabama
I live with grandparents, my grandfather being a missionary or evangelist. Apparently I'm the whole reason he'd decided to be a missionary. I was born premature so my grandfather prayed that I may live and in return he would become a missionary, and so I lived and he has been spreading the gospel in Honduras for all my life. It's very...interesting living with Baptist grandparents.
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#42975 - 09/12/10 05:44 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Lamar]
Nicholas DePrey Offline
stranger


Registered: 07/24/10
Posts: 17
Loc: Sweden
I ignore the preachers, if it is a young boy or girl who I feel not has real insight in christianity I just show them the truth about God.
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#48170 - 02/05/11 11:59 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Nicholas DePrey]
Pheonix666 Offline
stranger


Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 22
Loc: So Cal
I've lived as a mormon for about 17 years, so I've had my fair share of experiences. However, after I graduated High School, I became, what they call, an "inactive member." Well, truth be told, I'm waiting on my letter from their church to officially knock me out of their sysytem, so that my name can never be used again.

Anyways, about March of last year, I became part of the Satanic world, and in July, I started to switch to the Luciferian way. About that time, in July, I became more of a cold hearted bastard and had a wonderful heated argument with a mormon missionary. He was a fanatic, and even I could see that, and I had forgotten my shades and couldn't see five feet in front of me.

He began to discuss how his god was the "true father" and only he can save us from ourselves. At first, I had no idea what he was talking about, and said that his sort of god doesn't exist, and he can never prove me wrong. Well, suffice to say, he didn't like me very much, and I found some entertainment from my boring afternoon. At first, he began like they always do, and said that I'll burn for all eternity if I don't worship his sort of god. It made me laugh at that point, and began to tell him about reincarnation. That its been documented, and proven, that it is more than possible, than the idea of a "god."

His companion, at the time, did not do anything, nor said anything, which made me wonder what was going through his head at the time. The one that I was arguing with, began to quote from his storybooks, so, being the bastard that I still am today, I began to quote right back at him. When he got to quoting the oh so famous one of "The meak shall inherit the earth," I couldn't help myself. I replied with, "You sure ain't meak, standing there all high and mighty. Trying to look down your noes at me when I'm standing a foot taller than you."

Well, next thing I know, I'm looking up at the beautiful face of a nurse, who was busy making sure I didn't have a concussion, and the missionary who had clubbed me was in handcuffs. All the while, the other one was explaining what had happened.
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I bring the Light, but will you receive it?

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#48191 - 02/06/11 08:18 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Pheonix666]
XiaoGui17 Offline
active member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1146
Loc: Amarillo, TX
 Originally Posted By: Pheonix666
I've lived as a mormon for about 17 years, so I've had my fair share of experiences...About that time, in July, I became more of a cold hearted bastard and had a wonderful heated argument with a mormon missionary...At first, he began like they always do, and said that I'll burn for all eternity if I don't worship his sort of god.


Earlier in this thread...

 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
NO Mormon or Jehovah's Witness would ever tell ANYONE that they are going to burn in hell for ANYTHING because neither one of them believe in hell, nor do they believe that their is a place where "souls" burn, either temporarily or eternally.


CS is right. I’m surprised that someone who identifies himself as a former Mormon of 17 years would be so oblivious to their doctrine… and also their culture. Either you grew up among the most heretical Mormons that ever walked the planet, or there’s something fishier about your story than oil-packed solid white albacore.
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#48206 - 02/06/11 11:37 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: XiaoGui17]
Pheonix666 Offline
stranger


Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 22
Loc: So Cal
Oh no, they still do preach about burning in hell. I've been told it too many times if I don't shape up and keep thinking the way that they do.

They believe in quite a number of things. Their 3 levels of heaven, a Fire and Brimstone sort of Hell, and Outer Darkness, or Oblivion.

The first level is Celestial, which has three separate levels in itself. Its there where you don't have much of a free will, and are forced to sing praises to their imaginary god, and to become a sex machine for all eternity.

The second is Terrestrial. And thats basically what you see here. It is the earth that we live on now, but more peaceful, and it is styled as a waiting room for their sort of god and his angels to come down and talk to those people. Where they will try and sway people to their sort of thinking, and, in time, bring them to the first level.

The third is Telestial. It is basically an earth styled prison, full of violence and "sin". It is the earth that we now live in, and when their god and angels come down, we will be forced to listen to their long winded speeches and be doubly forced onto their sort of path.

Hell. A sort that is where Satan lives, and tortures you for all eternity. A sort of place where its hot as the sun during the winter months, and hotter still in the summer. A wonderful place where, according to the mormons, angels can still come down and visit. To talk to people, and try to get them to come to heaven with them.

Outer Darkness, or Oblivion. This is the no mans land. A place where your "soul" dies, and you become nothing. You have no consciousness or anything else, for you are now forever removed from the sights of men and their "god". Who, more than likely, has destroyed your "soul" utterly, and cast what was left away from him, then removed your imprint on the lives of others, forever.

This is what I have been taught, and what they still teach to this day.
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I bring the Light, but will you receive it?

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#48208 - 02/06/11 12:34 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Pheonix666]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
Sounds to me like you have a massive chip on your shoulder about this whole Christianity thing. By letting it irk you to such an extent, means that it still wields a great deal of power over you.

To most Satanists, Christianity (and religion in general) is but a disorder of the mind, and not to be held in any sort of regard. Would you be so preoccupied with the opinion of someone with Asperger's or schizophrenia? Who gives a damn about the Christian notion of Hell and all of their superstitions?

Apologies if I come off as being cryptic. Just in one of those moods today.
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Nothing is sacred.

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#48211 - 02/06/11 12:51 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Nemesis]
XiaoGui17 Offline
active member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1146
Loc: Amarillo, TX
@Pheonix666
I noticed your YouTube page says you're from El Paso, and it occurs to me that there are a number RLDS folks around there. Out of sheer curiosity, were you mainstream LDS or RLDS (C of C)? Because that may explain the discrepancies between what you’re describing and what I’ve seen of Mormons.


Edited by XiaoGui17 (02/06/11 12:52 PM)
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#48236 - 02/06/11 05:02 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
TheInsane Offline
member


Registered: 09/16/09
Posts: 356
I love to debate and discuss. If I was in a good mood and had nothing else to do I would invite them in to my home over a cup of tea. But then again I have never lived in an area (or a country) where this is common practice. If they came every week I would obviously get tired of it but as things are now it almost never happens and I do enjoy it when it does \:\)
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#48286 - 02/07/11 05:16 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: TheInsane]
JWG Offline
pledge


Registered: 10/29/09
Posts: 68
Like you, TI, I'd probably invite them in if I didn't already have company or didn't feel like just being alone and being with no company. Not too long ago when I was still heavily rebelling and struggling with the lingering fears of Christianity, I would have probably projected that inner struggle externally by being rude and slamming the door. But, now, I'd probably be more interested in entertaining their thoughts and see why they are whatever faith they are. Perhaps plant a few seeds of my own and see how they bloom. Doubt is the Devil's fruit.
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In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.
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#48289 - 02/07/11 05:57 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: XiaoGui17]
Pheonix666 Offline
stranger


Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 22
Loc: So Cal
@XiaoGui17

LDS, not RLDS, or FLDS. I was raised in an older style, I guess you could say, as I had grown up in the late 80s-90s, and had to put up with so much crap. All this new stuff thats come out, really does baffle me sometimes. Like them saying that they're now considering themselves as "mormons". When, by the by, they would have called it an insult, and would have rathered be called LDS, instead.

I would call this 'hypocritical,' but others would say that they are changing, becoming more 'modern'. Say, and think, what you will of them, but tell me this: Is it not true that you've not experienced them as I did? Have you ever walked into their churches on sunday, and watched even one of their meetings take place? Its a cheap shot, I know, but have you?

One more thing. Yes, my home town is, in fact, El Paso, TX, which is home to the polygamist, and radical, LDS groups. However, I assure you, I've never been apart of them before, nor knew about them, until I had reached New York.
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I bring the Light, but will you receive it?

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#49562 - 02/24/11 03:32 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ta2zz]
WildFlame Offline
stranger


Registered: 02/24/11
Posts: 16
Loc: Northeast, USA
I simply do not answer the door.

I have figured out the Jehovah's Witnesses modus operandi however. They feel the need to show up during holidays. They came on July 4th; they materialized on Labor Day.

Unfortunately, for myself, they caught me on Thanksgiving. I had stepped onto my back porch and a carload of them had pulled up next to my deck. There were three men and one woman. Naturally, the woman stepped out to accost me.

I ragged on them for dividing families (they do; they disfellowship family members/cut them off/make them outcasts). The woman tried to skirt around the issue and finally admitted that they do excommunicate "out of love."

I also told her that JW's are not Christians as they do not believe in Christ as God. So, we argued back and forth about that. Their interpretation of scripture is just as creative as any other Abrahamic religious outfit, aka, full of shit.

It was a waste of energy. I learned my lesson.


Edited by WildFlame (02/24/11 03:33 PM)
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#49592 - 02/24/11 09:08 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: WildFlame]
LucyFur Offline
member


Registered: 02/06/11
Posts: 122
Loc: Bible Belt, USA
Years ago I was a single mom working full time and going to school at night. Weekends with my children were sacred to me. Unfortunately, the Mormons and JW's did not see it that way as they continually harassed the people in our apartment complex every Saturday morning. I was usually dozing on the couch in my underwear and T-shirt with my little ones watching Pee-Wee Herman (yes, THAT long ago!), when they knocked on our door. My kids were taught never to answer the door so they barely noticed when the incessant knocking began. And since I didn't feel like talking to those freaks I refused to get up and answer. One morning the Mormon perverts decided to peer in through our window, presumably because I did not answer their knock. I promptly opened the door without putting anything on before hand, and threatened to sue them and their church and have them in jail for voyeurism and threatened to shoot them if they ever came back. They were so freaked out by this psycho bitch going all medieval on their asses while dressed in nothing but panties and a t-shirt that they nearly pissed themselves. My kids couldn't have been prouder of me!

That gave me an idea. From that point on I always answered the door naked when the Mormons and JW's showed up. My kids found this so disturbingly hilarious that they used to hunt me down to tell me that the JW's were coming just to watch their reaction to the naked crazy lady!

However, I humbly acquiesce to one who came up with a much more entertaining way to deal with them. This is my most favorite missionary 'dis' video ever:
Messing with Mormons
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I spit on your crapulous creeds.
Let all chaste women be utterly despised among you!


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#49594 - 02/24/11 09:39 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: LucyFur]
WildFlame Offline
stranger


Registered: 02/24/11
Posts: 16
Loc: Northeast, USA
^^That was hilarious, LucyFur (the video).

When I lived in apt. complex, I remember them coming around on Saturday mornings, too. If I recall, I think it was like 7:00 or 8:00 am.

My husband and I always stayed up late Friday night and slept most of the day Saturday. But those turkeys would wake us up.

Maybe at Halloween, I can find a goat head with horns and answer the door with that on. Hmmm. They might keep coming back.
_________________________
"Be a good craftsman; it won't stop you being a genius." Pierre Auguste Renoir

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#49596 - 02/24/11 09:48 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: WildFlame]
LucyFur Offline
member


Registered: 02/06/11
Posts: 122
Loc: Bible Belt, USA
Better yet, go to your local International market and buy a goat or sheep's head. I did this once.....

Anyway, they usually have a small, round hole punched in the top of their head from the way they are slaughtered, I presume. That hole is usually about the right size for a spell candle. Slap a black spell candle in that sucker, light it and let is burn down a bit to make it look like it was used in a ritual, then set it outside your door. That should take care of your problem.

I bought one and used it as a centerpiece for an initiatory feast a while back and got a lot of good laughs. The next day I boiled all the meat off the bones and sprayed it with polyurethane for future use. You never know when you will need a goat skull.....
_________________________
I spit on your crapulous creeds.
Let all chaste women be utterly despised among you!


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