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#49920 - 02/26/11 02:57 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: LucyFur]
WildFlame Offline
stranger


Registered: 02/24/11
Posts: 16
Loc: Northeast, USA
I collect bones. Lol. Mostly deer skulls and such. There is a goat farm not to far away!
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#49926 - 02/26/11 03:40 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: WildFlame]
Nyte Offline
member


Registered: 10/19/09
Posts: 380
Loc: Ohio
 Originally Posted By: WildFlame
I collect bones. Lol. Mostly deer skulls and such. There is a goat farm not to far away!


You could get decent money for things like that on EBay. You'd be amazed at how big the Goth/Punk community is on there and they love that kind of stuff, at least from what I've heard. Clear coat a few bleached goat skulls and enjoy the extra income!

Damn, now I wish I lived close to some place that I could get animal skulls to finish and decorate. ;\)
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#49927 - 02/26/11 04:18 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: WildFlame]
Hegesias Offline
active member


Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 725
I let the people in and make a cup of tea. A few times I have had to tell them I was too busy, but as they who I had to turn away were so well mannered, I invited them to return later.

Recently two Mormon fellows turned up and I made some tea for everyone, they had to sit on my weight bench because I have no couch but they were ever so well mannered and asked me if I would like to pray with them. Anyway, I am kneeling down in my living room with these Mormons, and I'm reading this prayer out dramatically and I did rather well if I don't say so myself. The young fellows looked pleased and asked what my beliefs were and I told them that I have seen a dark place and that this is all around and inside me.

They then asked if I'd like to receive a place in paradise and I just told them that I was awaiting to return to the dark place. They asked me why and I told them that it's just one of those things that is part of me.

I also explained that I was amoral and that this does not mean I'm some kind of uncultured swine, and that if a man has a kind nature to women and children he needn't have any ideology or morals about it.

I needn't tell them about anything to do with any kind of Satanism, I simply let them understand that I don't want anything at all from anyone, let alone a paradise.

I didn't tell them that what was put forward was quite like a family gathering with some distant relatives you really don't care to know because there certainly won't be any females you can have sex with there, that type of unwanted interaction event that you just call in and say you're can't make it. We are all entitled to our privacy and I appreciate privacy with a feminine creature or to simply be in seclusion.

I didn't tell them this part either, but who really wants to be consigned to an eternal numbing stasis with lobotomised sexless souls everywhere when you just want to deep stick dark and angry females and die spiritually while doing this. I like the feeling of the ego dying while having sex, and when this universe is smothered in blackness upon my death I will not be this man any more but the non existence.

Quite a unsettling thought to face eternity in such a place as paradise though... lovingly lobotomised and castrated, to be eternally smothered at the flaccid bosom of the sexless Jehovah.
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#49959 - 02/26/11 10:26 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Hegesias]
jesusbeater Offline
pledge


Registered: 11/15/07
Posts: 79
Loc: Ireland
A few years back when I was living in a crappy apartment in a rough part of Edinburgh, a couple of elderly women who were Jehovah's witness's called to the door.I answered the door and was extremely polite.Showed an interest in what they were saying.They asked me what my profession was,to which I replied,"an artist".To gain entry to my domain they asked if they may see my work,which they believed to be based on Christianity(as I had mislead them to believe).
On entering my abode,they were greeted by a 6" by 4" painting of the Virgin Mary having her womb tore out by blunt hooks,while a fig leaf lay beneath her, smeared in her excrement. Needless to say,they made their excuses and left.
As for the painting,I failed to sell it,so brought it home to Ireland.I believed it to be a suitable 60th birthday present for my mother.My father disagreed and burnt it several weeks later.
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#49963 - 02/26/11 10:45 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: jesusbeater]
Hegesias Offline
active member


Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 725
You have more paintings? my music is what you might know as dadaism/ anti-art, similarly aggressive as your painting but not as iconoclastic as the he who burned the effigy of the unclean goddess of shit.
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#49965 - 02/26/11 11:01 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Hegesias]
jesusbeater Offline
pledge


Registered: 11/15/07
Posts: 79
Loc: Ireland
Unfortunately stopped painting on canvas a few years ago.Became a whore for money so became a graphic designer and then a tattoo artist.Both,although some way artistic,do take away form me doing what I want and working on a collaborative level.I have done a few album covers though for friends in the metal industry,but never reaching the level of what I used to paint.
If you have a link towards some of your music on myspace or somewhere,would love to listen to it.Not enough people like yourself around doing something different with music now a days,so always interested in hearing or seeing something new and thought provoking.
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#52887 - 04/13/11 09:54 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: jesusbeater]
Ghostly1 Offline
member


Registered: 04/10/11
Posts: 147
Loc: NY
My first personal interaction with JW ended with them saying "Hello, we are Jehovah's messengers...."

And I said "that's not my fault" and slammed the door. The second one was less colorful, and more visual. I answered the door naked, with my shotgun. Nothing was said, nothing exchanged. Id like to place a large Sigil Of Baphomet on my door to make them change their minds altogether before they knock. I would consider that progress.

My uncle converted when I was still a young boy. He occasionally tries to talk to us.....but we kindly ignore him.
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#52893 - 04/13/11 10:53 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
Tesseract Offline
member


Registered: 02/08/11
Posts: 190
Loc: United States
Several years ago I lived in a small rental house; the back door was the main one I used, and the front door was unused and basically sealed up due to the way I had the house’s contents arranged. On the back door I mounted a sign that read, “Please use front door.” On the front door was a sign that read, “Please use back door.” There were at least a couple of times I sat and watched unwanted visitors go first to one door, then the other, and then gave up in irritation without having knocked on either door.

On the doors of a few of my previous homes I hung signs that read, “Absolutely NO salesmen, solicitors, or religion peddlers allowed.” This discouraged pretty much all unwanted intruders before they knocked.

The house I currently own is in an out of the way neighborhood, so I rarely get uninvited knockers, but when they do arrive, and when I bother to answer the door (which is infrequently), I just cut off salesman and religionists with a curt, “I’m not interested,” and close the door on them.

Life is just too short to waste even a minute on people who are trying to sell me something I don’t want.

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#52925 - 04/14/11 11:12 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Tesseract]
Deamon Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/27/11
Posts: 5
Loc: Australia
In my opinion I actually enjoy tormenting people (not psychically, just stuffing with their minds and stuff). Everything from pretending to speak different languages, using really big words (sometimes i make them up) or acting really slow (no offense is intended). I don't see why people don't enjoy it, but again i don't know what i would do if it wasn't for stupid people or people who come with a beautiful sales pitch memorized but have no actually knowledge on what they are selling or preaching, like how else would i spend my days, (maybe more productive??)
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#52964 - 04/14/11 08:17 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
GregNotCraig Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/04/11
Posts: 30
Loc: Mesa, AZ, USA
I personally have never had the opportunity (why won't a jehova's witness knock on MY door??), but years ago, I had a couple of female neighbors (they lived together) that had fun with missionaries and witnesses alike -our apartment complex was near a JW kingdom hall AND a Mormon temple.

When the missionaries/witnesses were making their rounds, the girls knew it - especially if the missionaries were young men.
It was like they had Sheeple Detectors in their DNA.

The girls would answer the door in skimpy lingerie or one of those waist-length silk robes, wide open and nothing on underneath and invite them in and attempt to seduce the guys.
They actually succeeded on one occasion that I know of.


Edited by GregNotCraig (04/14/11 08:19 PM)
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#52978 - 04/15/11 08:27 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: GregNotCraig]
Autodidact Offline
member


Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 428
 Originally Posted By: GregNotCraig
When the missionaries/witnesses were making their rounds, the girls knew it - especially if the missionaries were young men.
It was like they had Sheeple Detectors in their DNA.


Heh, more likely they had Man Detectors

Myself, I say, "No thanks" and close the door. I have far, far better things to do than waste my time talking to someone who's not listening.
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An nescis, mi fili, quantilla prudentia mundus regatur?

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#52980 - 04/15/11 08:50 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Autodidact]
Hegesias Offline
active member


Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 725
Is it just me or does the word itself "missionary" in association with the notion of women knocking on the door, immediately flash images of spread eagle, innocent Christian women?

I think they peddle more than the word of god, I think they secretly run a covert operandi. I will hint at this next time a suitably attractive one comes round because i think they have some very definite ideas about what they are really doing and what they really want to put into the minds of godless men.

Where the hell does "missionary position" come from anyway? Surely the Church because think about it: "what is your position in the lords Church my dear..." ...... "why, missionary father..." *wink*.

There must be something going on, I always felt there is more than meets the eye about those religious folk because they come round and you can tell they aren't really interested in the bible stuff, it's just to create sexual tension.

Shame they are all desperate old women though... these are desperate times.
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#53394 - 04/24/11 02:21 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Hegesias]
innertravel Offline
lurker


Registered: 11/17/10
Posts: 2
I love when the JW’s come to the door. I start out by explaining that they are the sheep and I’m a goat. The typical omniscient, omnipresent debate begins. Why would your loving god create the black plague, aids, ECT? It always ends with them explaining that its gods will and their belief is based on faith, we can just pray and ask god for help. They have no real answers. It’s a good time!
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#53422 - 04/24/11 09:10 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: innertravel]
Hegesias Offline
active member


Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 725
In all seriousness, I am not mean at all to them, I am only intolerant to drunks and druggies and anyone who thinks they can be an obstacle or a nuisance, when the religious people come round I am hospitable and make them a cup of tea and I'm just all around friendly and kind, it's not hard to be so, there is no need for religious talk when benevolent communication between people is being appreciated, there is no fear when in genuine communications. As genuine religious people will respect your good will and manners there is no need to convert you is there? such would be inappropriate, rude, to parrot and condescend one who is already showing utmost kindness and hospitality by his very nature to be so by default.


There is no reward for human kindness except the act itself. Who would need an ideology to understand human kindness is obviously conspiring and not to be trusted.

(Who would intentionally disturb another's solitary mindfulness? Certainly not a benevolent people?)

Here is a workable and easy to remember religion for you without embellishment:

Treat others with respect, respect their privacy, treat others as you would have them treat you and help others who are in danger if they are not making the situation purposely. Help others who are helping themselves. If you invade another's privacy with instructions, suggestions or orders you are a cunt and will be treated as a cunt with a cunting reputation as a parasite. I have spoken.




I tell them all I want is blackness when I am done here.
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#55163 - 05/29/11 02:02 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Hegesias]
SerialKeller Offline
stranger


Registered: 05/29/11
Posts: 19
Loc: Scotland
Most of the time, I say fuck off simply. If I'm out with friends and I see one preying on the weaker people around them, we surround them, and they will feel threatened soon.
One time, I was fucking quietly with my ex-boyfriend. We heard someone at the door, so we stopped, to listen (90% of the time it is my friends). We heard it was preachers being invited inside. So we fucked harder.

And then I was kicked out for the night and given a lecture tomorrow, and he was told never to come here again.

I wish when I have my own home they'll come to me. I actually enjoy company and I love to express my self to people who are offended by it. I think the worst thing in most arguments is when you realise "This person is completely happy with themself. This debate is useless".

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