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#38125 - 04/27/10 02:25 AM What do you do when a missionary comes over?
Severed Soul Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/04/10
Posts: 32
Loc: USA
There has only been a couple times that a Mormon or Jehovah Witness Missionary has come knocking on my door. Each time I ask them if they will take the time to listen to what i have to say about my beliefs, they insist on only speaking of how we all go to hell unless we go to their church service and let them save us. When they shut me down i do the same by telling them that they are already living in a self made hell (they always leave shortly after). I want to know about your experiences with missionaries.
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“It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful.”- Anton LaVey

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#38129 - 04/27/10 06:01 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
Meq Offline
Banned
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 861
I remember walking through my local town where I heard a street preacher bellowing about Jesus.
"He walked among men!" he screamed. "Come to Jesus so that you may find peace!"

"Peace and bigotry!" I yelled, before walking away...

My most interesting experiences with Christians however have been online. Lacking the inhibiting effects of face-to-face interaction, their true colors come out much more clearly.

Oh, how DARE you call them bigoted! Sure, everyone who doesn't share their opinions is going to the lake of fire, and they have a right to tell everyone their opinions, but you have no right to the opinion that that is bigoted. ;\)

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#38130 - 04/27/10 07:47 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
Morgan Offline
Princess of Hell
stalker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 2956
Loc: New York City
Why would you ever let them in your house?
You must know that nothing you will say ever change their views.

When they used to ring my bell, I would tell them I was going to call the cops and get them arrested for trespassing. I try to avoid unnecessary discussions with idiots.

Morgan
_________________________
Courage Conquering Fear
Fuck em if they can't take a joke
Don't Like What I Say, Kiss My Ass



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#38132 - 04/27/10 08:34 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Morgan]
Anne Offline
stranger


Registered: 11/25/09
Posts: 30
Loc: Denmark
I've only been approched by a Jehova witness once, and that was back when I was around 15 standing around in my jammies and a top with hard nipples because of the cold -.- Didn't take long for em to realize I gave a damn and they toodled off again..

However I have been raised to hate jehova witnesses.. The reason for that is that they drove my fathers mother crazy before she past away, and I mean literally crazy because they would knock on the door, and if she wanted to shut the door, they would put a foot in the door and trespass, so when my dad and granddad came home, she would be all over the place and out of her self because of the nonsens the jehovas had filled her with..
I've always seen my father as a calm man with nerves of steel, until one of those jehovas comes along, then he sees red..

Luckily I havent been approched yet by one at my current adress, but should I be so "lucky" to be saved from my eternity in hell, i'll be sure to make it clear never to approch my door again! >.<
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There is no heaven, there is no hell, except here on earth.. - Anton LaVey

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#38133 - 04/27/10 08:49 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Anne]
Meq Offline
Banned
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 861
Well my Dad became a Jehovah's Witness back in 1995. He became especially vocal about the sexual immorality of people in the 'world', who don't even feel the need to get married before having sex (of course he didn't wait until marriage, but that was when he was unsaved and sinful.)

Although he was temporarily disfellowshipped for a couple of years after cheating on my mother with a girl half his age at his local Kingdom Hall (who was also married at the time), both of them have since been fully pardoned. They are now married and both are still active preachers. Meanwhile my dad still "fucking hates this world" and "can't wait until Armageddon comes". He also laughs off any suggestions that he appears hypocritical.

He got my sister who was 10 at the time to plead with her mother to believe in the Bible so she wouldn't die at Armageddon. He didn't mince his words in telling her God's plans for all her friends and family who didn't believe.

Then there are those who consider JWs to be harmless. I consider that a very naive stance, particularly when children or anyone emotionally vulnerable is involved. "Harmless" isn't a word I'd choose, personally.

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#38145 - 04/27/10 11:26 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Meq]
The Zebu Offline
senior member


Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 1647
Loc: Orlando, FL
Like Angler fish, they're only nice until they hook you in-- then it's feeding time; with all the indoctrination, self-righteousness and guilt trips that come along with it.

Never had to deal with any door-to-door people, but my time on college campus I often run into street preachers and self-appointed chapbook apostles. The rowdy belligerent preachers draw big crowds and it's great fun to shoot back and forth, but some of the more reserved types I've had a few straight-faced "debates" with. Other times I don't feel game, and pass them on by.

Honestly, the hardest part is trying to suppress the urge to scream to their faces "YOUR GOD IS DEAD, I WORSHIP SATAN!" before tearing my clothes off and carving an inverted cross on my chest with a rusty nail.
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«Recibe, ¡oh Lucifer! la sangre de esta víctima que sacrifico en tu honor.»

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#38147 - 04/28/10 12:47 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
6Satan6Archist6 Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2509
I really have no time or inclination to engage in such exchanges anymore, but some very entertaining moments can come from answering the door with a heartfelt "Hail Satan!"
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No gods. No masters.

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#38150 - 04/28/10 01:21 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
Severed Soul Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/04/10
Posts: 32
Loc: USA
 Originally Posted By: 6Satan6Archist6
I really have no time or inclination to engage in such exchanges anymore, but some very entertaining moments can come from answering the door with a heartfelt "Hail Satan!"

Quick and too the point, haha that is a good way to get them to walk away. I really want one to eventually have to balls to hear the other side.
_________________________
“It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful.”- Anton LaVey

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#38152 - 04/28/10 02:26 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
Eumendies Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/13/10
Posts: 11
Loc: Israel
I have no luck because every time i go out I have to meet one of them.
Last week I had really funny experience. Two Jehovah's witnesses came to my house trying to speak with me and iv'e decided to try something. I stole a bible from their bag and put a copy of the Satanic Bible in there. It was fun to hear they scream when they found out...
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#38160 - 04/28/10 07:19 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: SkaffenAmtiskaw]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
Or you could always stage this scenario--



It's an old video, and I'm fairly certain it's fake, but still it's hilarious.
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Nothing is sacred.

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#38162 - 04/28/10 08:08 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
Damis Offline
pledge


Registered: 12/10/08
Posts: 60
Loc: England
Since moving to Leeds for University, I see quite a lot of people soliciting for some cause or another in the street (it didn't seem to be nearly as common in the town where my permanent address is). However it's the vocal religious preachers that I find both amusing and the most interesting.

i say interesting in the sense that, I wonder what they actually expect to gain from standing in the middle of the street waving their arms around and shouting about impending doom and the saviour, especially since they don't engage in any interaction, they just preach as loud as they can. Therefore it just seems very unlikely that someone is going to be converted by a few odd sentences as they walk past on their way to pick up their weekly groceries. If anything it just seems like a waste of time on all sides.

Then again, I suppose it could be compared to the leaflet through the letterbox marketing tactic that someone on this forum once mentioned. Most leaflets will bring no fruit but once in a while one will result in a sale and it's cheap to do. Preaching in that manner similarly costs nothing and they are trying to 'sell' their product, in this case Christianity in all it's lovely flavours such as hypocrite surprise and blind faith ripple. \:\)
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#38168 - 04/28/10 04:51 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Damis]
Meq Offline
Banned
active member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 861
 Originally Posted By: Damis
Preaching in that manner similarly costs nothing and they are trying to 'sell' their product, in this case Christianity in all it's lovely flavours such as hypocrite surprise and blind faith ripple. \:\)

Let's not forget their bigotry burst, homophobic hot fudge, Father's special secret altar-boy-fucking banana surprise, and a hearty dose of pseudoscientific pistachio.

I call it a Sunday Sundae. \:D

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#38177 - 04/29/10 03:53 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Meq]
Doomsage680 Offline
member


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 111
Loc: NJ, USA
I was volunteering at a Geriatric Center once and some Mormon's were there doing music. This one guy I was talking to had a nametag on, and if I'm not mistaken it said Padron Hernandes. Without realizing(padron means father in spanish) I assumed his first name was Padron, and in the end he tried giving me a pamphlet on how to get the Book of Mormon for free. I was a theistic satanist at the time, and said, "No I'm fine" but he insisted, "It will change your life." I took it, and later laughed at the idea of a Mexican Mormon. I guess it sort of makes sense since the Mormon's are in the South, so there would be a curious amount of Mexicano Mormonos.
The back of the pamphlet had a way to get a Book of Mormon in spanish. It just goes to show that anyone will believe anything, no matter how crazy.

Another time, at my house, 2 Jehova's Witnesses came to the door. My dad, a Presbyterian and my Mom, a Catholic(only in name, doesn't know anything about the religion) would not let them in to talk, even for a second. They accepted the pamphlet given, which I read. Something about avoiding Nuclear Holocaust and supporting Nuclear NonProliferation.
I feel as though I would attempt to shatter their faith through a long, thoughtful conversation. I've helped to make my friend who wanted to be a priest question his Christianity seriously, but maybe I'm just young and naive. You all seem to have had more experience with these people. Still, I'd ask them the hard questions no theist has ever answered me.
_________________________
"I who have nothing but the comfort of my sins"
- Vinny Paz

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#38179 - 04/29/10 07:21 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Doomsage680]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
My earliest and fondest memories of Jehovah's Witnesses always occurred when I would visit my dad on the weekends. They'd come by in the mornings when I was watching cartoons, and dad was doing things around the house, getting ready to work out in the garage or outside in the yard. My dad couldn't afford to have the air conditioner fixed, so the windows were always open. We would hear them coming, or see them across the street bothering the neighbors. So I'd turn the tv off, and when we heard them approach our front porch, my dad and I would hide in the hallway. Mainly because those nosy bastards would try to look into our windows and see if anyone was home. A couple more knocks, and they were on their way.

I always thought it was funny, although they would annoy the hell out of my dad.

Although one time they came by and my dad wasn't home, so I answered the door (mentally kicking myself when I saw who it was). They chatted with me, gave me a nice hard-cover illustrated book, and left. I didn't tell my dad, because I knew he'd have been mad that I answered the door. Upon reading through the book, I'd come across a paragraph which said my earthly father wasn't my real father, but that God was instead. That really pissed me off. When I was a kid, I was really touchy about my dad for a long time because of my parents' divorce when I was 7. The surest way to wound me was to talk trash about him. So when I read that, several times over just to make sure I'd read it correctly, I threw the book across the room. I thought to myself, "What kind of an asshole is this God?" Never finished it.

I think that experience started me on my path of questioning God, because just a few years later when I was 13, I reverted to Atheism due to lack of evidence of God's existence.
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#38188 - 04/30/10 01:20 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Nemesis]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

I'm getting old thought I posted this last night.

Not many people knock at my door anymore and the ones that do usually don’t stick around long after the dog’s growl a bit. Once in awhile an adventurous soul dares their luck and most of the time if you’re an unannounced guest that’s as far as you get. If I don’t know you are coming over and you’re nobody me or my dogs recognize well shit what the hell makes you think I would waste my time opening my door to you?

On the odd occasion that I do answer the door I act how I feel that day. Mostly Ill tell them to have a nice day I’m just uninterested, Sorry I don’t want any and close the door. Sometimes when I’m feeling chatty I’ll listen to them a bit, trying to look slightly uninterested, usually they catch on fast and start talking about my dogs. When they do at least they mostly leave with a smile. It warms my cold black heart bringing a smile to a JW’s face.

~T~

PS. I take the free schwag as well never know when Ill sell some sheep a tattoo from a picture out of one of them so they get added to the collection.
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We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#38203 - 05/01/10 03:13 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
ceruleansteel Offline
active member


Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 784
Loc: Behind you
You are full of shit and an idiot. Neither Mormons nor Jehovah's Witnesses believe in hell. You would know that if you took the time to "know your enemy".

And for the record, I'm not calling you an idiot offhand. "You are already living in a self made hell." Are you serious? What black metal humpfest did you pilfer that line from? They probably leave because they realize that you don't have the mental capacity to handle an actual religious/philosophical debate and don't want to waste their time with you.

I don't blame them.

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#38208 - 05/01/10 12:26 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ceruleansteel]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

Hello,

 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
You are full of shit and an idiot. Neither Mormons nor Jehovah's Witnesses believe in hell. You would know that if you took the time to "know your enemy".

Here we are yet again looking down our nose at yet another thread yet another new forum member. Predictable if nothing else, but I must point out another flaw here. To simply say Mormons and JW’s do not believe in hell well you are wrong. Some simple light reading proves without a doubt that while hell is not full of fire and brimstone it clearly exists to the modern Mormon as the outer darkness away from god. Yes yet another analogy to the ever present fight between darkness and light.

"The extent of this punishment none will ever know except those who partake of it. That it is the most severe punishment that can be meted out to man is apparent. Outer darkness is something which cannot be described, except that we know that it is to be placed beyond the benign and comforting influence of the Spirit of God-banished entirely from his presence" (Doctrines of Salvation 2:220). ~ Joseph Fielding Smith

Jehovah's Witness on the other hand interpret the bibles Hell to being the grave itself therefore everyone goes to hell when they die. When you are dead you do nothing you are not conscious, yet if and when resurrected those so judged will be thrown into “the lake of fire” to experience the second death. It seems this second death has been explained in “the watchtower” as…

"It means the death from which there is no resurrection. They will be burned up root and branch, as completely gone forever as the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah" ~The Watchtower 1 July 1967, p. 409.

"It is a death from which there is no resurrection. The second death is absolutely distinct from Adamic death, for the Dragon, the Original Serpent, Satan the Devil, never died in Adamic death but he is hurled into the `second death,' the symbolic lake of fire, and so too, are the `wild beast' and the `false prophet.'
"So the `lake of fire' symbolizes everlasting destruction of a person or thing" ~The Watchtower 15 September 1967, p. 571.

You were saying?

~T~
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#38209 - 05/02/10 02:54 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ta2zz]
Nyte Offline
member


Registered: 10/19/09
Posts: 380
Loc: Ohio
I'm not sure what bunch visited us one time, but the lady started off with "How would you like to know that in your "afterlife" you are taken care of, never to worry, fret, feel pain, or sorrow again?" I looked her straight in the eye and said, "You need a new opening line, because if death is all you can start with, instead of here and now, I'm not interested. I'm alive now and need to take care of things now, today. Not after I'm dead." and shut the door watching her eyes just about bug out of her head and her jaw sitting on the front porch step. They had visited at a bad time. My husband had just blown out his calcaneus, and was for sure going to be out of work for at least 2 months, provided the docs didn't decide to do more surgery. I wasn't in the mood for lectures of the "afterlife", that's for sure. We weren't visited for quite some time after that.

However, since having just moved this past month, my oldest opened the door to a guy dressed to the "nines" and driving a new Ford SUV with some really pretty shiny rims (oldest said they were some of the highest priced rims he just recently saw at the local tire and rim shop). The guy was pretty light and started right away into his intro when my son just looked at him and told him, "No thanks, I'm Wiccan." He said you could watch the guy deflate and stumbled into telling my oldest to have a nice day. Now mind you, my oldest isn't Wiccan, but it definitely ended that long lecture rather abruptly and listening to that guy stammer while I was working in the kitchen was fairly funny.
_________________________
If only just for today.....

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#38214 - 05/03/10 01:42 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ceruleansteel]
Severed Soul Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/04/10
Posts: 32
Loc: USA
 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
You are full of shit and an idiot. Neither Mormons nor Jehovah's Witnesses believe in hell. You would know that if you took the time to "know your enemy".

And for the record, I'm not calling you an idiot offhand. "You are already living in a self made hell." Are you serious? What black metal humpfest did you pilfer that line from? They probably leave because they realize that you don't have the mental capacity to handle an actual religious/philosophical debate and don't want to waste their time with you.

I don't blame them.


Am I an idiot? No, no I would not say I am. You say Mormons don't believe in Hell. You are wrong, "Hell is a temporary state of terrible anguish and pain for the wicked" that is a quick explanation of Hell from a Mormons view, and yes that quote is from a Mormon. As for Jehovah's, their view of Hell is simply not going to heaven and remaining unconscious in their grave for ever. Just because their view of Hell differs from the norm does not mean they don't believe in it. You tell me to know my enemy, I don't know about you but i don't see people with different beliefs than me as enemies.

""You are already living in a self made hell." Are you serious? What black metal humpfest did you pilfer that line from?" If you found that as stupid I really don't care that is the first thing that came to my mind as my plan was to say something of that sort for a reaction. This response does show your level of maturity though, if you have nothing better to do than insult people online who are only trying to hear about peoples experiences then in my opinion you should trying getting some sort of hobby to occupy your time.

"you don't have the mental capacity to handle an actual religious/philosophical debate"
Maybe I am mistaken but I thought that one of the purposes of this website was to help people become educated in these areas. I am younger than many of the people who are members here so it is quite obvious that my "metal capacity" will be lower, that's why I'm here, to learn.
_________________________
“It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful.”- Anton LaVey

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#38215 - 05/03/10 02:39 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ta2zz]
ceruleansteel Offline
active member


Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 784
Loc: Behind you
Heh. You're one to call the kettle black...

Mormons do not believe in hell. The "outer darkness away from god"....the part where they are away from god is the alleged part that is the punishment...there is no torture, no pain, no nothing, just no god. That is not hell. For Mormons it's third heaven...like living a thousand miles away from the nearest town. Sorry, buddy, it's a ten-year hike to the nearest gold-paved street and eternal feast. No admittance if you aren't on the list.

Jehovah's Witnesses do NOT interepret the grave as being hell. They specifically do not believe that hell exists, period. They believe that where the bible says "Hell", it is a misinterpretation of a biblically geographical location outside of Jerusalem which existed as basically a trash dumping site that was kept burning. The bodies of those deemed so terrible that they did not deserve a "Proper burial" were thrown onto the trash heap to burn with the rest of the garbage. JW's believe that if you aren't "IN" with the big guy, your punishment is that you will not "be resurrected when earth once again becomes a paradise". That's it, and that is not hell.

NO Mormon or Jehovah's Witness would ever tell ANYONE that they are going to burn in hell for ANYTHING because neither one of them believe in hell, nor do they believe that their is a place where "souls" burn, either temporarily or eternally.

I'm surprised you didn't try to gloss over the word "symbolic"...or maybe you just don't know what it means...revelations is full of symbolism...and the JW's teach that this is not to be taken literally. They have a whole months-long study course just on the book of revelations. You should check it out sometime. It may enlighten you as to what the fuck you are talking about.


Edited by ceruleansteel (05/03/10 02:40 AM)

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#38216 - 05/03/10 02:40 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Doomsage680]
Wake Offline
pledge


Registered: 11/11/09
Posts: 93
Loc: Australia
I have only been approached a small number of times. One occurrence that I remember clearly was when a mob of them came down my street. You know, the one with the cute little children and the elderly. Anyway, they harassed everyone in sight. Even my Muslim neighbour. My folks and I were leaving the house to go to some family gathering, when they stopped us as we were getting into our car.
They practically pulled us out of it to prattle on. My Dad must have told them to hit the bricks, they eventually buggered off.

Another time they came was quite recently. I was standing just outside of University talking to my mates about something, when a stranger approached us and was trying to hand out some sort of flier. We just stood there looking at him, trying to give him the hint we didn't want a bloody flier, until I gave up and took it. I flicked through it while he stood there waiting for my response.
I read cute lines such as "You need to understand that you are a sinner and the punishment for your sin is death in Hell".
The patronizing text throughout the pamphlet was surrounded by sad and happy smileys.
I would have said something but only one of my friends from that group knows about my being a Satanist, so I just smiled and said thanks and kept smiling at him till he became weirded out and walked away.
_________________________
To love a stranger, one's love must be cheap

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#38217 - 05/03/10 02:57 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
ceruleansteel Offline
active member


Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 784
Loc: Behind you
If you want to become educated in the area of religious and philosophical debate, you need to stop being a retard when those people knock on your door and let the fuckers in. You don't know shit about the two religions you are talking about, therefore, you could never debate them if the opportunity arose. I spent over a year studying with Jehovah's Witnesses and going to meetings and almost as long with Mormons. Any douchebag with vocal cords can throw some shock value at them. That just makes you look like a fruitcake. To actually debate them and have them question themselves takes a bit of actual effort on your part. You have proven already that you haven't been willing to put forth that effort and using your age for an excuse just makes the whole thing lamer (more lame?).

I promise you, Christianity is not contagious.

No one here is going to hold your hand and teach you how to debate the doorknockers. You need to get off your ass and learn what they believe, then study the shit so you can find where the loopholes are and can then ask them the questions that they are still wondering months after they leave your house. When you can come back and tell me that you have led a lamb astray, THEN I will have a bit of respect for you...maybe.

Not to mention the fact that your post does not say that you want to learn the secrets of arguing Mormons, et al. It says, "hey I freaked out some christians this way. how do YOU freak them out?" Very juvenile.

Their view of hell differs from the norm because THEY DO NOT BELIEVE IN HELL.

As an afterthought: It is quite possible that the people you spoke to were Baptist. Though they are not normally the doorknocking type, they do have their pocket-factions that show up from time to time. THOSE are some hell-believing fuckers, and they are fairly impossible to argue because THEY don't even know what they are talking about, so they answer everything with the "God's will" and "faith" and all that bullshit...but the Mormons and the JW's truly believe that if they study hard enough, all answers will be revealed to them.


Edited by ceruleansteel (05/03/10 03:03 AM)
Edit Reason: afterthought.

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#38218 - 05/03/10 03:00 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ceruleansteel]
Severed Soul Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/04/10
Posts: 32
Loc: USA
 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel

NO Mormon or Jehovah's Witness would ever tell ANYONE that they are going to burn in hell for ANYTHING because neither one of them believe in hell, nor do they believe that their is a place where "souls" burn, either temporarily or eternally.


I can honestly say i did not make up what i posted though you may believe otherwise. My line "they insist on only speaking of how we all go to hell unless we go to their church service and let them save us" is just a summary of what i felt they were pushing on to me, i did not mean to confuse people by making it seem those are always their exact words.

Also i am interested in knowing where you have gotten all of your information on those two religions.
_________________________
“It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful.”- Anton LaVey

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#38222 - 05/03/10 05:50 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
ceruleansteel Offline
active member


Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 784
Loc: Behind you
 Quote:
Also i am interested in knowing where you have gotten all of your information on those two religions.


Like I said before, I studied with them. I have always been of the opinion that the best way to get information is to go to the source...or in this case, allow the source to come to you.

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#38230 - 05/03/10 03:16 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: SkaffenAmtiskaw]
ceruleansteel Offline
active member


Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 784
Loc: Behind you
 Quote:
144,000 of them go to heaven. The rest are tormented.


Just to clarify:

They believe that 144,000 go to heaven to become part of what is basically the court of God. Of those remaining, the good ones stay on earth living in Paradise and "proud service to God" (cleaning up the damage that we have done to the earth and taking care of the animals, etc) and the bad ones simply cease to exist. Some will even get sort of a second chance if they happen to be alive when the shit goes down.

They also believe that if you are among the 144K you will know it already. The only so-called holiday they commemorate is the death of Jesus and on that day they pass around sacraments and wine and only the people who are among the 144K can eat and drink of it. I only studied with them for a little over a year so I've only seen this *ritual* once, but no one ate where I was at.

Also, according to them, it was during the time of WWII that Satan took over as full-time ruler of the earth. He'll have control for x number of years before God decides that playtime is over.

I could go on and on...because I've studied with them. Then one day the ladies I studied with happened over and asked me if I had any questions. I put it to them and they told me that when they came back again, they would have the answers. They haven't been back since (almost 8 months now). They do still call from time to time and tell me they are thinking of me and looking for my answers (matter of fact, one called Saturday) but every day that they are searching for the answers to my questions is another day that they are being made to think more like me (the question-asker) and less like themselves (the accepting-on-faith).

Weird beliefs aside, they were nice enough people.

My mission is not to convert anyone else any more than I want to be converted myself. I have my philosophy and it works for me. But I do enjoy pulling that curtain back from time to time, and making others adopt a more rational and logical worldview, as well as a habit of actually using their brain, is something that I take pride in.

Which is why I work with kids. Any person who studies religion as a "tool in the box" knows that (religion) has cornered the market on manipulation and indoctrination. And although the subject matter may be a bit distasteful to some (I am personally neutral), the lessons on HOW it works are there if you are interested in finding them. And knowing how something works helps you understand how it also comes apart, and how to apply both sides of that equation to your own life. If you are learning how to build a house, it's foolish to only read one book on the subject and call yourself a master. NLP, body language, psychology...they are all important in getting your way in the world and making the world what you want, but understanding religion is - I think - just as important because at the end of the day, religion is one of the deep-seated, invisible powers that drives people.

My mission isn't to convert people to Satanism, it's to convert people to THINKERS. The Catholics say that if you give them your child until he is five, he will be theirs forever. They know when your mind is at its weakest and most malleable...and that's why I work with children. Catch them young, teach them how to think instead of simply react or float along, and send them out into the world armed with the ABILITY to affect a change...and once I have done that, I don't have to worry about what choices they will make because I'll be lurking in their little heads forever, guiding them even when I'm gone.

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#38231 - 05/03/10 03:28 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ceruleansteel]
Severed Soul Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/04/10
Posts: 32
Loc: USA
 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
My mission isn't to convert people to Satanism, it's to convert people to THINKERS


This line of yours really stands out to me. I have "converted" a few people to Satanism by telling them what i feel it is about etc (only when they ask about it). But your line made me realize that i should instead of telling them have them learn on their own.
_________________________
“It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful.”- Anton LaVey

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#38234 - 05/03/10 03:44 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
ceruleansteel Offline
active member


Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 784
Loc: Behind you
People will be most loyal to themselves. And if they figure something out on their own, it becomes THEIRS. With most people, it's just a matter of figuring out how to show THEM how to figure things out.

Don't just hand them a fish...

I come off harsh and *mean* quite a bit around here because we deal with such a high number of people who are not capable of taking the heat, and not capable of thinking before they react. I have to give credit where credit is due: it is clear to me that you have taken a lesson here instead of simply reacting. See? Now I'll be lurking around in the back of YOUR head too. And we've never even met.

THAT, my dear, is how you change the world around you.

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#38236 - 05/03/10 03:51 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ceruleansteel]
Severed Soul Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/04/10
Posts: 32
Loc: USA
Like I have said before I am here to learn. Though a response of yours was somewhat rude I realized that you are a person who has knowledge that I am interested in obtaining. From past lessons I have learned to think before reacting. The things the old me would have said would have likely gotten me banned. People do need to learn how to take insults and not freak out.
_________________________
“It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful.”- Anton LaVey

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#38288 - 05/04/10 05:31 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
Nyte Offline
member


Registered: 10/19/09
Posts: 380
Loc: Ohio
I'd love to have the time to just spend a year studying this or that religion. However, I was looking for a way to end the annoying knocks at the door at a time when I was lucky to get a night rest and my response worked quite well, as did my son's. I don't have time to waste on getting to know another religion. I wasted well over 30 years going through this or that religion prior to acknowledging what I really am. It's easy for me now. I have no desire to claim someone else as an "enemy", just to stop them from annoying me at times when I seem to be fairly busy. Plain and simple. It's not like I went knocking on their door passing on my beliefs or lifestyle to them. For those that have the time, more power to ya. I don't and won't let them in to waste my time.

Personal acquaintances, close friends, now that's a different story. They have however earned that time from me. Huge difference. At least most of them.....
_________________________
If only just for today.....

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#38298 - 05/04/10 11:10 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ceruleansteel]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
Heh. You're one to call the kettle black...

You are hardly a new member.

This has become cute complete with a nice back story of how you like to change the world but on the statement that Mormons and JW’s do not believe in hell you’re still incorrect.

Let’s look on the Mormon website LDS.org shall we to see what the official definition for hell is.

Hell

Latter-day revelations speak of hell in at least two ways. First, it is another name for spirit prison, a temporary place in the postmortal world for those who died without a knowledge of the truth or those who were disobedient in mortality. Second, it is the permanent location of Satan and his followers and the sons of perdition, who are not redeemed by the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

If we look at their link to the scriptures we would see this…

Latter-day revelation speaks of hell in at least two senses. First, it is the temporary abode in the spirit world for those who were disobedient in mortality. In this sense, hell has an end. The spirits there will be taught the gospel, and sometime following their repentance they will be resurrected to a degree of glory of which they are worthy. Those who will not repent, but are nevertheless not sons of perdition, will remain in hell throughout the Millennium. After these thousand years of torment, they will be resurrected to a telestial glory.

Second, it is the permanent location of those who are not redeemed by the atonement of Jesus Christ. In this sense, hell is permanent. It is for those who are found “filthy still”.

This is the place where Satan, his angels, and the sons of perdition—those who have denied the Son after the Father has revealed him—will dwell eternally.

The scriptures sometimes refer to hell as outer darkness.

 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
Mormons do not believe in hell. The "outer darkness away from god"....the part where they are away from god is the alleged part that is the punishment...there is no torture, no pain, no nothing, just no god. That is not hell.

Apparently its is and it appears to be where Satan resides as well. Just because it doesn’t fit your Christian definition of a fire and brimstone hell doesn’t mean it’s not the same place. Fire and brimstone is symbolic for the torture of being kept from god or one of the three heavens.

 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
Their view of hell differs from the norm because THEY DO NOT BELIEVE IN HELL.

It’s funny that those who disbelieve so have such a definition on their official website.

Now on to the JW’s shall we? What better place to look but their official website as well. Looking at the JW definition of hell on watchtower.org to refute your claims.

Sorry but I’m going to have a little fun with this…

 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
Jehovah's Witnesses do NOT interepret the grave as being hell.

“The Bible hell, then, is the common grave of mankind where good people as well as bad ones go.” ~ watchtower.org

 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
They specifically do not believe that hell exists, period.

"Since the punishment for sin is death, the fundamental question in determining the true nature of hell is: What happens to us when we die?" ~ watchtower.org

 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
They believe that where the bible says "Hell", it is a misinterpretation of a biblically geographical location outside of Jerusalem which existed as basically a trash dumping site that was kept burning.
“Does life of some kind, in some form, continue after death? What is hell, and what kind of people go there? Is there any hope for those in hell? The Bible gives truthful and satisfying answers to these questions.” ~ watchtower.org

“Truthful and satisfying answers to these questions” does not seem much like a misinterpretation to me.

[quote=ceruleansteel]The bodies of those deemed so terrible that they did not deserve a "Proper burial" were thrown onto the trash heap to burn with the rest of the garbage.

The descriptions of Gehenna could quite possibly be why Hell is symbolic of fire and torment but seems to have little to do with official JW definitions.

 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
JW's believe that if you aren't "IN" with the big guy, your punishment is that you will not "be resurrected when earth once again becomes a paradise". That's it, and that is not hell.

If this is true why do they go on to say this?

“As does Gehenna, the lake of fire symbolizes eternal destruction. Death and Hades are "hurled into" it in that they will be done away with when mankind is freed from sin and the condemnation of death. Willful, unrepentant sinners will also have their "portion" in that lake. (Revelation 21:8) They too will be annihilated forever. On the other hand, those in God's memory who are in hell—the common grave of mankind—have a marvelous future.” ~ watchtower.org

 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
Like I said before, I studied with them. I have always been of the opinion that the best way to get information is to go to the source...or in this case, allow the source to come to you.


 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
I could go on and on...because I've studied with them.


 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
They have a whole months-long study course just on the book of revelations. You should check it out sometime. It may enlighten you as to what the fuck you are talking about.

Maybe you should check the credentials of those whom you study with. From the sound of it they didn’t have a very firm grasp on what their own religions interpretation of bible scripture teaches.

The preceding facts have come from a page on watchtower.org and can be read in its entirety here What Really Is Hell?

Perhaps more THINKING is needed.

Good day

~T~

PS. I purposefully left out your mention that these people are your enemy to see if others picked up on this. Since two others have mentioned it I will now ask why are others with differing beliefs your enemy?
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#38299 - 05/05/10 12:28 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ta2zz]
Severed Soul Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/04/10
Posts: 32
Loc: USA
You argued his points much better than I. It shows that both ceruleansteel and I could have done way more research for both sides of our debate.
_________________________
“It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful.”- Anton LaVey

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#38322 - 05/05/10 02:23 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3151
Just adding my few cents in.
While I respect CS views I have to wonder why she has bitten on the "mormons hell" matter.
I, for one, do not give a flying fuck about it. What does it matter in the end? Does it really help to have the knowledge hell does exist in their religion when you can simply say "fuck off" right before slamming the door in their faces, or even better: ignoring them altogether.

One more thing:
Severed soul: stop acting like a whiney bitch and get over it. If you had done the research (which you clearly didn't do thoroughly) and didn't manage to convince the other person then fuck it.

Such a waste of energy and time...


Edited by Dimitri (05/05/10 02:26 PM)
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#38324 - 05/05/10 03:48 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Dimitri]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

 Originally Posted By: Severed Soul
Like I have said before I am here to learn.

As most of us are living, learning, simply making the best of it every day. We can only hope that anything we click on and read here has something in it that makes us think. Why else push and bother to communicate?

 Originally Posted By: Severed Soul
You argued his points much better than I. It shows that both ceruleansteel and I could have done way more research for both sides of our debate.

Whose points have I argued? Yes you are correct that it does show you could have researched your point better but you did mention it at least…

It also shows that sometimes some of us forget that lessons come in many forms from many different walks of life. Some of us forget that all teachers are not correct and anyone teaching anything should be questioned harder than someone simply stating an opinion.

Stick around there is much to learn if you can comprehend it.

 Originally Posted By: Nyte
I don't and won't let them in to waste my time.
Personal acquaintances, close friends, now that's a different story. They have however earned that time from me. Huge difference.

I agree as I said in my first reply to this thread. Most unannounced visitors only see the outside of my front door. I cannot see the gain from opening my door to every person who knocks on it. The last time I did it was a girl selling magazines I wasn’t feeling chatty and her little jokes of kidnapping me to the Bahamas were not taken as funny. I did refrain from asking her who knew she was here at my door lol. Other than that I was short and straight telling her I wasn’t interested in buying books or magazines from her or the trip she was trying to win. Her parting words were “you should be nicer to people who come to your door” since I wasn’t mean in any way I told her have a nice day. She is entitled to her opinion and her opinion of me affects me in absolutely no manner. Silly me its my own fault opening the door for a unknown cute young girl when I wasn’t feeling chatty.

 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
Such a waste of energy and time...

Then why participate? Why hit reply?

Everyone has a different way of fueling the ego and validating to him/herself that they are more important and better than others. The Satanist is no different.

To some it is simply exclaiming what a waste of time to others its how much more they know and to others still its simply spreading their interpretation of their religion door to door. Do you see where I stand on this, its clear as day?

Enjoy your stay

~T~

Wow did someone say something about converting people to Satanism? I won’t go near that with a 20-foot pole…
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#38328 - 05/05/10 04:58 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ta2zz]
Lucifer Rising Offline
member


Registered: 04/10/10
Posts: 147
Loc: Indianapolis, IN
I really don't get a lot of people coming to my door. Last time some Hispanic guy with a pamphlet came to the door. I answered, and he starts of with, "Look at this pamphlet here. Does it matter which religion you choose?" I looked at him, said "No" and shut the door.

Time before that I didn't answer the door, I just stood back in plain sight holding a toy pellet rifle. Wasn't like it was a real gun or anything, but it scared them off pretty quick. Didn't even bother starting their little speech.

Oh, and time before that I just told them "I'm not in the market for a new religion right now. Please come back after I've had my lobotomy." They just looked at me strange and left.

That's all I can remember for now.
_________________________
Even if you're the ultimate evil lord of the underworld, you should always be yourself. Mickey Mouse

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#38330 - 05/05/10 05:10 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Doomsage680]
Noctuary Offline
pledge


Registered: 02/01/10
Posts: 92
Trying to stretch out my answer here...
I don't have to deal with that problem. We have a sign that says 'No Solicitors'. It's really that easy.

I have, however been approached at the bus stop and coming out of the market at times. I take the pamphlet and say thank you. Then I read it and then throw it away. If I don't put up my armor and wall I don't get people coming at me with their swords and guns.
_________________________
Devils speak of the way in which she'll manifest

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#38343 - 05/06/10 07:29 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Noctuary]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
I also forgot to mention my other rather odd experience with the JW's.

I was 18 and I'd recently moved back to Florida, and was riding my bike to work, which was about 2 1/2 miles away. I'd woken up one morning to find that someone had stolen my bike out of my driveway, so I had to hoof it. I got about halfway there and I said, "Fuck it, I'll take the bus the rest of the way." So as I'm sitting there waiting, a couple gets out of their car behind the bus bench and comes up to me. I'm more than a little freaked out, because who hasn't heard stories of seemingly nice-looking couples who end up kidnapping and torturing people? Warily I watch them approach, they say "Hi", and I say, "Good morning". Then they start asking me where I'm going. "To work," I say, and they tell me that they're just trying to spread the good word that they'd be more than happy to give me a ride since it was just another mile down the road. They had a bunch of literature to give me, and my feet were tired, so I said that yes, I sure would appreciate a ride. When they dropped me off at my workplace, they gave me some literature and hoped that I'd have a nice day. I thanked them and went on.

I think that I was more thankful that they kept their word and I hadn't ended up in their trunk with duct tape over my mouth.
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#38347 - 05/06/10 09:49 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Nemesis]
Trick Offline
lurker


Registered: 12/19/09
Posts: 3
Loc: Cross, SC
I dont listen to any body like that if someone tries to say something like that i ignore them and go on about my day. If someone shows up to my house i just slam the door in there face and go on about my day.
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#38349 - 05/06/10 10:15 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Trick]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
They gave me a ride to work. For that, I could stand to listen to their spiel for a couple of minutes. It's not like they harassed me about it. That's called "not being a complete asshole".
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#38350 - 05/06/10 01:38 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ta2zz]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3151
= short intermezzo =
 Quote:
Then why participate? Why hit reply?

Everyone has a different way of fueling the ego and validating to him/herself that they are more important and better than others. The Satanist is no different.

Simply because I can.
And I like to smash over-inflated egoes.
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#38355 - 05/06/10 11:37 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ta2zz]
Nyte Offline
member


Registered: 10/19/09
Posts: 380
Loc: Ohio
 Originally Posted By: ta2zz

 Originally Posted By: Severed Soul
Like I have said before I am here to learn.

As most of us are living, learning, simply making the best of it every day. We can only hope that anything we click on and read here has something in it that makes us think. Why else push and bother to communicate?

 Originally Posted By: Severed Soul
You argued his points much better than I. It shows that both ceruleansteel and I could have done way more research for both sides of our debate.

Whose points have I argued? Yes you are correct that it does show you could have researched your point better but you did mention it at least…

It also shows that sometimes some of us forget that lessons come in many forms from many different walks of life. Some of us forget that all teachers are not correct and anyone teaching anything should be questioned harder than someone simply stating an opinion.

Stick around there is much to learn if you can comprehend it.


Yep! My theory is to learn about what I need to for me and another religion just doesn't "fit the bill" right now. If I get bits and pieces here and there, they may come in handy one day but to actually go and study....no time for that right now. Learned enough over those previous 30 years to know what I don't need to be involved with enough to dedicate that much time to again. Posted on enough other religious boards to know that, just about the time you think you've got another religion figured out, someone comes along and something new literally floats to the surface. Gotta take care of the here and now for me and mine and that's all that matters.

 Originally Posted By: Nyte
I don't and won't let them in to waste my time.
Personal acquaintances, close friends, now that's a different story. They have however earned that time from me. Huge difference.

 Originally Posted By: ta2zz
I agree as I said in my first reply to this thread. Most unannounced visitors only see the outside of my front door. I cannot see the gain from opening my door to every person who knocks on it. The last time I did it was a girl selling magazines I wasn’t feeling chatty and her little jokes of kidnapping me to the Bahamas were not taken as funny. I did refrain from asking her who knew she was here at my door lol. Other than that I was short and straight telling her I wasn’t interested in buying books or magazines from her or the trip she was trying to win. Her parting words were “you should be nicer to people who come to your door” since I wasn’t mean in any way I told her have a nice day. She is entitled to her opinion and her opinion of me affects me in absolutely no manner. Silly me its my own fault opening the door for a unknown cute young girl when I wasn’t feeling chatty.


She was feeling brave to even hint about kidnapping someone who wasn't really in the mood to be entertained. It amazes me what people will joke about sometimes. Though I should know better with my current line of work and even from when I bartended. The things I've heard through the years, nothing should faze me anymore.

She commented that you should be nicer to people that knock on YOUR door. They just don't get that they are on someone else's property (uninvited) and no one owes them anything, including being nice to them. It's a good thing it wasn't me at my door having to listen to her. "Have a nice day." probably wouldn't have even been a thought for her, but that's just me. lol

 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
Such a waste of energy and time...

 Originally Posted By: ta2zz
Then why participate? Why hit reply?

Everyone has a different way of fueling the ego and validating to him/herself that they are more important and better than others. The Satanist is no different.

To some it is simply exclaiming what a waste of time to others its how much more they know and to others still its simply spreading their interpretation of their religion door to door. Do you see where I stand on this, its clear as day?

Enjoy your stay

~T~

Wow did someone say something about converting people to Satanism? I won’t go near that with a 20-foot pole…


I don't think anyone really suggested it, but ya never know. I might have to go back and re-read just to see where you might have picked that up from.
_________________________
If only just for today.....

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#38356 - 05/06/10 11:52 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Nyte]
Nyte Offline
member


Registered: 10/19/09
Posts: 380
Loc: Ohio
Quick story....
I was having a garage sale one day when a gentleman stopped by on his bike. He took his time and walked around looking at everything. He came towards me and commented about how orderly everything was and how nice everything was visibly priced. I thanked him and then he said, "I don't see anything I need but this might be something you could use." as he reached into his back pocket and produced some tracks. I stood there and looked down at them and smiled a really wicked grin. I looked him in the eye and told him, "No thanks. Been there, done that, even got the t-shirt.", the smile never fading even a little. He looked a little perplexed and then pocketed his tracks, nodded, bid me a good day and went on his way on his bike. I was a bit surprised that he would venture to a garage sale and then actually try to pass out his tracks. But I guess "passing on the Great Word" holds no boundaries for some.
_________________________
If only just for today.....

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#38358 - 05/07/10 01:10 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Nyte]
Nyte Offline
member


Registered: 10/19/09
Posts: 380
Loc: Ohio
Ok ta2zz...I found it (the converting thingy). You're right and if I can help it, I'm going to NOT touch that one either other than to say this....... I don't think I've ever thought of realizing what I was all along as being converted, but perhaps that's just me?
_________________________
If only just for today.....

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#38362 - 05/07/10 06:52 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Nyte]
Morgan Offline
Princess of Hell
stalker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 2956
Loc: New York City
I didn't think we were the Borg whereby we had to convert anyone. If anything, I would wish less idiots were running around claiming the title of Satanist.

Two old wise lines/adages come to mind....

You can lead a horse to water but can't make him drink.

You can't teach a pig to dance, all that happens is the pig get annoyed, and you get covered in shit.

It's simple, don't answer the door, or just say no.
There is no need to be bothered by anyone in your own home unless you are a masochist.

Morgan
_________________________
Courage Conquering Fear
Fuck em if they can't take a joke
Don't Like What I Say, Kiss My Ass



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#38363 - 05/07/10 07:25 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Nyte]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
Were the tracts he was passing out the Jack Chick comics? I try to collect those things, they are hysterical!

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1056/1056_01.asp
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#38367 - 05/07/10 03:34 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: SkaffenAmtiskaw]
Room 101 Offline
member


Registered: 10/17/09
Posts: 262
Loc: Scotland
As much as I would love to come over all “badass”, I’m afraid that, deep down, I’m a very polite person.

I’ve had a few of these people to my door, and they are always greeted with the same respect and decorum that I would give to any other being that rings my buzzer (not a double entendre I assure you), unless of course there is a rugby match on lol.

If they are impolite and/or try to force anything upon me, then I tell them to fuck off.


Edited by Room 101 (05/07/10 03:34 PM)
Edit Reason: Fat hands
_________________________
"Nothing is your own except the few cubic centimeters inside your skull." - George Orwell (1984)

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#38368 - 05/07/10 03:44 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: SkaffenAmtiskaw]
Doomsage680 Offline
member


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 111
Loc: NJ, USA
The idea of converting someone to Satanism reminds me of a question that four well-known atheists have spoken about: Would you want a world where religion no longer exists?
Christopher Hitchens, a great debater, author, and blunt Atheist answered something along the lines of: No, because since it will never go away, we can use it to sharpen our wit and continue to put forward arguments that make it easier for individuals to make the choice of leaving behind their faith.
The statement is somewhere in part 10 or 11 of The Four Horsemen, a discussion about Atheism by four leading authors.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wwcGNPXCDU&feature=related

It is often beneficial to look at the flaws in an opposing argument to demonstrate how correct, or flawed, your own thinking may be. Religion is an institution of ignorance, and is quite useful in demonstrating the countless logical fallacies that might trap you in your own ideas.
_________________________
"I who have nothing but the comfort of my sins"
- Vinny Paz

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#38371 - 05/07/10 08:10 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Doomsage680]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

Rarely do I do such posts lumping together replies to many different members. It is not meant to be disrespectful to anyone.

Let’s squash this first shall we?

 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
Such a waste of energy and time...

Then why participate? Why hit reply?

 Originally Posted By: Dimitri

Simply because I can.
And I like to smash over-inflated egoes.

You also asked a question that was clearly answered should you have understood what you had read. CS said understand your enemy, get it? I must ask whose over inflated ego do you think you are deflating err smashing here?

Who’s time and energy are you complaining that’s being wasted if not clearly your own?

Please stop there really is no need to explain yourself any further. Most of the questions I ask of you are rhetorical. If I can see what you try to do here others do as well.

Did you have anything to add about your experience with any door to door god salesmen?

 Originally Posted By: Noctuary
Trying to stretch out my answer here...
I don't have to deal with that problem. We have a sign that says 'No Solicitors'. It's really that easy.

After the last girl I decided that such a sign was needed that or simply an unwelcome sign.

 Originally Posted By: Nyte
Posted on enough other religious boards to know that, just about the time you think you've got another religion figured out, someone comes along and something new literally floats to the surface.

Always a different interpretation this is why not just any are qualified to teach.

 Originally Posted By: Nyte
Gotta take care of the here and now for me and mine and that's all that matters.

No one here can argue with that interpretation.

There was onetime I was eating at a local beach early morning blasting Celtic Frost in my car and I was approached by a JW. He was polite yet ballsy to knock on my window so I gave him a few minutes, we had a nice little chat he gave me some free schwag and talked a bit. It was the first time I realized JW’s interpreted the bibles heaven to be brought on earth by the second coming of Jesus. I told him he was listening to a song called Babylon Fell it was fun. I could have rolled up the window I could have drove off but I had a few minutes and felt chatty. I learned something much larger than one religions view I learned the power of interpretation.

 Originally Posted By: Morgan
I didn't think we were the Borg whereby we had to convert anyone. If anything, I would wish less idiots were running around claiming the title of Satanist.


The Borg existence seems rather boring. Most other religions would use these idiots as foot soldiers (perhaps spreading the word door to door) yet Satanists banish and ridicule them. If this doesn’t prove that unlike other religions there is no grand agenda in Satanism I don’t know what can.

Perhaps we need an agenda… Lol I know I went and said “WE”…

Just a weird side thought would Borg or any hive like race of beings wear clothes?

 Originally Posted By: MawhrinSkel
I remember those too. Since I'm into roleplaying games as well (unfortunately not as much as I used to) I also remember the ones that said playing Dungeons and Dragons would turn you into a devil worshipper. Hey, wait...

No, really, I don't worship the devil any more now than I did back when I was twelve. If there ever was devil worship in me, I don't think Gary Gygax put it there.

Do such things sway us from religion, thinking about such things as demons and monsters as nothing but fantasy is the real threat to organized religion. It allows you to open your mind enough to see how foolish it is to think these things real. RIP Gary Gygax your game has helped open a few minds.

Doomsage680,
Many forget that we needed everything we have to have gotten this far. This includes the fanatics and lunatics. One can see here on this very forum (of course much smaller) the workings of human nature. When there is a rush of newbies most complain how stupid most new members are as soon as it quiets down a bit there are cries of how stagnant the forum has become.

One cannot be converted to Satanism, perhaps awoken but never converted.

~T~

Stick around there are many lessons here, not all of them are so easily seen by all.
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#39537 - 06/23/10 09:35 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ta2zz]
Clicks Offline
member


Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 114
Loc: New Orleans
I've never had a problem with door to door types, as I've never owned a place of my own and am much to young to have anyway. The only thing I have ever experienced in this regard are the people who discover your difference in religion though conversation and from that time on bring up their religion at any given opportunity in an attempt to convert. It wasn't bad at all at any of the places I've lived outside the marine corps, but since enlisting I've noticed that just about every service member is very religious. They are patriotic beyond sense, sometimes, and with that comes the 'one nation under god.' I've been told a few times that I don't belong in the marine corps or in the United States if I don't want to believe in God. I guess the original founding principles of the United States doesn't matter at all to most people, it's what it is now, which is coming closer to a theocracy. Sad day...=)
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#39568 - 06/26/10 05:19 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Clicks]
NeronCaesar10 Offline
stranger


Registered: 06/20/10
Posts: 7
Loc: NC
I speak with missionaries from the Mormon church from time to time,I've never declared my Religion because i believe there is no reason to.I just enjoy learning the things of which christ did,the things he said...though i have no reverent adoration for him,he is a very interesting character in history...and the beliefs of any christian organization should be attained by Satanists,so that the Satanist oppose properly..
_________________________
Worship Thyself...Affirm Thyself...If you cannot Affirm Thyself...Change

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#39732 - 07/01/10 11:51 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Doomsage680]
NeoZombie Offline
pledge


Registered: 06/21/10
Posts: 60
Loc: Minnesota, USA
Firsts and foremost I stripe down to my underwear to show them I am un-armed. Half naked but harmless. Then I invite the in to discuss the atrocity that is the Book of Mormon. In my travels I have look at this book from time to time and it is the worst piece of literature I have splayed eyes on.

Then they usually recoil in horror that I have said such blasphemy about their sacred delusions. I flip flop like a fish in Hilary Clinton's vagina,writhing for some kind of relief from the logic of Joke Smith. What the hell kind of king-loon writes shit like that?

Nevertheless, I enjoy when "witness of christ" tries to tell me more much he has done for them. So, the next time elder puke comes by don't just slam the down in there face slam the logic. I guarantee you will enjoy toying with the vassalage. And it never hurt to tell them how much Satan truly loves them.
_________________________
http://www.faculty.virginia.edu/consciousness/
*Xepera*

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#39738 - 07/01/10 12:33 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
DharcDB Offline
stranger


Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 13
Loc: Florida
When a missionary comes over, I usually do not want to hear what they have to say. That may just be me, but I get tired of hearing about that stuff at home, so I usually just tell them to leave...ok I do a little bit more. I let my four dogs out on the porch and scare the shit out of the missionary. Not too many more missionaries come by my house anymore...
_________________________
“There is a beast in man that needs to be excersised, not exorcised.”

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#39745 - 07/01/10 03:35 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3151
It is fun to notice almost no one here ever used the words "I'm not interested, but still have a nice day" and closes the door politely.

Its not they are carrying a shotgun to blast your door out..
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#39761 - 07/01/10 10:18 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Dimitri]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

One can only wonder just what it is you are trying to say here…

Ok I had to reread the thread to see what you were on about and seriously 2 months after your first post in this thread you’re still on about why nobody is as rude to someone at the door as you?

Why would I raise my anger level at all over another’s beliefs, much less enough to slam my own front door? What is there to gain by acting badass towards a little lost sheep? Unless of course being the scary rude asshole to everyone who knocks on your door is your goal or you like fixing broken doors.

I mostly treat people how they treat me. Come to my door looking to fight and I’m sure you will find it. For the most part those trying to peddle their religion are polite.

This concludes this lesson. Have a nice day.

~T~
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#39790 - 07/02/10 03:27 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ta2zz]
ceruleansteel Offline
active member


Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 784
Loc: Behind you
 Quote:
Ok I had to reread the thread to see what you were on about and seriously 2 months after your first post in this thread you’re still on about why nobody is as rude to someone at the door as you?


Did you mean to reply to Dimitri with that? I didn't take what he said as being rude at all. Matter of fact, I thought it was pretty polite. "Not interested, have a nice day anyway" and close the door seems like a pretty practical way to handle the situation to me. He said close the door, not slam the door.

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#39836 - 07/03/10 01:52 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ceruleansteel]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

Are you so sure you’re deciphering Dimitri’s intent correctly?

 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
It is fun to notice almost no one here ever used the words "I'm not interested, but still have a nice day" and closes the door politely.

Reads to me in English “I find it funny no one here ever used the words I’m not interested but instead they say have a nice day and they close the door politely”.

His previous post does mention him slamming the door.

 Originally Posted By: Dimitri
Does it really help to have the knowledge hell does exist in their religion when you can simply say "fuck off" right before slamming the door in their faces, or even better: ignoring them altogether.

Clearly ignoring them is a secondary thought, his first was to slam the door. Lets add to this only two people say anything about slamming the door in anybodies faces in this thread.

The first to say anything about slamming a door was The Zebu who was followed by “trick”. So seeing as the majority of the posts here are explaining that most of “US” are not rude to these door-to-door peddlers, the only logical interpretation of Dimitri’s intent is to be mocking those who are polite. Perhaps you are right and he simply doesn’t comprehend what he is reading and doesn’t understand that the majority of the posts here are about “US” being polite and not about slamming the door at all. You knew that didn’t you CS?

Needless…

This concludes this lesson. Have a nice day.

~T~
_________________________
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams. ~Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

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#39855 - 07/03/10 11:46 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ta2zz]
Dimitri Offline
stalker


Registered: 07/13/08
Posts: 3151
Perhaps you should learn to read a little better ta2zz, and I do mean to read the things the way they are written and not what you made of it.

The "fuck-off" and slamming door part was a ruder manner of my latest reaction in such a position. How I really act is the polite way, the slamming door is illustrative and not to be confused with the way things really happen. Even a little child could make that up...

And do try to play the "he doesn't understand us because of the foreign language"-card. If you think I would even feel moved to not critise your ideas, or to break trough your comfort-zone..
_________________________
Ut vivat, crescat et floreat

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#40103 - 07/09/10 11:15 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Dimitri]
Draculesti Offline
Impaler
member


Registered: 09/18/07
Posts: 325
Loc: Rockville, Maryland
I absolutely hate to be religiously solicited. Religious solicitation, to me, is a form of spiritual/intellectual rape. Just as forcing oneself physically on someone else is rape, forcing one's religious beliefs on another is spiritual rape.

I can't tell you how many times I've had religious fundies seek me out (by the way, what the fuck does it say about me that they always seem to find me like I have some kind of fucking "SAVE ME!" beacon attached to me?) and subtly/not-so-subtly imply that the way I'm living my life is wrong (after having known me for all of two seconds) because, "hey, I used to be just like you, brother, just living my life, watching the ol' pornography, drinking, gambling..." Okay, I own up to the pornography, but I seldom drink alcohol, and I don't have any money to piss away on gambling, anyway. And I always love how they open with "Do you know Jesus?" Well, I suppose I know him as well as anyone can know someone who supposedly lived ca. 2000 years ago. They might as well ask if I know Tutankhamun or Hammurabi. Or Elvis. "Yeah, I know Jesus, but last I heard, he was in the klink; why don't you look there? That's where everyone else seems to find him."
_________________________
The Holy Trinity: Me, Myself, and I.

Homo Homini Lupus

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#40106 - 07/10/10 12:36 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Draculesti]
odiex13 Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/09/10
Posts: 5
Loc: Utah desert
I have the same issue but I invited them in and offered them a drink they really think they have me I was raised as a mormon and so they don't really grasp that I could possibly be a satanist so I went to their local church and took their sacrament and have been playing along we have been invited to all the picnics and playdates for the kids it's fucking hilarious I knowingly have chosen to use them as my playthings like you say it's like being raped so why not get what I can I would never hurt them but if deception gets me more out of this one life then thats the way I'm playing it my kids had the other kids saying shemforash and the other parents thought it was some cutesy word my 2 year old daughter had made up she's my little wolf girl if they condemn you you can always do the same
_________________________
Silence is often misinterpreted but is never once misquoted

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#40406 - 07/17/10 09:45 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: odiex13]
XiaoGui17 Offline
active member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1147
Loc: Amarillo, TX
You're actually in quite good company, odiex. It's more common than you may think for ex-Mormons to become Satanists. Sean Michael (guest host on Damon Foster's Satanic Views #8 & #9) is a former Mormon, is was my current flame. There's something about the extremely repressive and sheltered environment of Mormonism that aches for hedonistic and skeptical catharsis when a soul breaks free.

P.S. I would've linked to Zach of the Satanic International Network and his reaction to the visit of a couple Mormon missionaries... but I'm afraid his channel got axed.

Shemhamphorasch is actually Hebrew... but I wouldn't expect Mormons to recognize it, given their propensity to grossly mispronounce many Hebrew terms.


Edited by XiaoGui17 (07/17/10 09:54 PM)
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Wir halten uns an Regeln, Wenn man uns regeln lässt

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#42904 - 09/09/10 09:38 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: XiaoGui17]
Fnord Offline
senior member


Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 2085
Loc: Texas
General Reply

I had one of these folks ring my bell last night.

I:
  • Opened the door
  • Let them introduce themselves
  • Told them that I'm not interested in whatever it is they have to say
  • Closed the door

    Simple.
_________________________
Dead and gone. Syonara.

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#42936 - 09/11/10 10:00 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Fnord]
Bunz Offline
lurker


Registered: 08/26/10
Posts: 3
Loc: Georgia (USA)
The husband usually deals with this kind of nonsense. I prefer to answer the door with the hammer back. No words required. We live in a "church triangle". One fire baptized and two regulars surround is in a shape that roughly mimics a triangle.

My mother-in-law experienced something truly hilarious one day. She head some major commotion on our side of the fence. The dogs were barking and making a LOT of noise. You can tell, at times, the difference between a regular "get off my property" kind of bark and the "I am gonna rip you apart" bark. So she comes out to our gate and sure enough, there are some unknown people in our yard (we know the meter reader and the trash collector). Our two Min Pins had gotten out of their chain link enclosure. They were literally CIRCLING the car. These people were backed up to their vehicle, staring at the dogs. They asked my MIL if the dogs bite. Her response: "They haven't bitten anyone YET, but I advise you to get in your car and off this property now". We never heard from them again. I do wish we had video.
_________________________
That which does not kill me had better run like Hell.

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#42964 - 09/12/10 01:43 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Bunz]
Lamar Offline
member


Registered: 02/03/10
Posts: 226
Loc: Alabama
I live with grandparents, my grandfather being a missionary or evangelist. Apparently I'm the whole reason he'd decided to be a missionary. I was born premature so my grandfather prayed that I may live and in return he would become a missionary, and so I lived and he has been spreading the gospel in Honduras for all my life. It's very...interesting living with Baptist grandparents.
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#42975 - 09/12/10 05:44 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Lamar]
Nicholas DePrey Offline
stranger


Registered: 07/24/10
Posts: 17
Loc: Sweden
I ignore the preachers, if it is a young boy or girl who I feel not has real insight in christianity I just show them the truth about God.
_________________________
I am who I am

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#48170 - 02/05/11 11:59 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Nicholas DePrey]
Pheonix666 Offline
stranger


Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 22
Loc: So Cal
I've lived as a mormon for about 17 years, so I've had my fair share of experiences. However, after I graduated High School, I became, what they call, an "inactive member." Well, truth be told, I'm waiting on my letter from their church to officially knock me out of their sysytem, so that my name can never be used again.

Anyways, about March of last year, I became part of the Satanic world, and in July, I started to switch to the Luciferian way. About that time, in July, I became more of a cold hearted bastard and had a wonderful heated argument with a mormon missionary. He was a fanatic, and even I could see that, and I had forgotten my shades and couldn't see five feet in front of me.

He began to discuss how his god was the "true father" and only he can save us from ourselves. At first, I had no idea what he was talking about, and said that his sort of god doesn't exist, and he can never prove me wrong. Well, suffice to say, he didn't like me very much, and I found some entertainment from my boring afternoon. At first, he began like they always do, and said that I'll burn for all eternity if I don't worship his sort of god. It made me laugh at that point, and began to tell him about reincarnation. That its been documented, and proven, that it is more than possible, than the idea of a "god."

His companion, at the time, did not do anything, nor said anything, which made me wonder what was going through his head at the time. The one that I was arguing with, began to quote from his storybooks, so, being the bastard that I still am today, I began to quote right back at him. When he got to quoting the oh so famous one of "The meak shall inherit the earth," I couldn't help myself. I replied with, "You sure ain't meak, standing there all high and mighty. Trying to look down your noes at me when I'm standing a foot taller than you."

Well, next thing I know, I'm looking up at the beautiful face of a nurse, who was busy making sure I didn't have a concussion, and the missionary who had clubbed me was in handcuffs. All the while, the other one was explaining what had happened.
_________________________
I bring the Light, but will you receive it?

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#48191 - 02/06/11 08:18 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Pheonix666]
XiaoGui17 Offline
active member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1147
Loc: Amarillo, TX
 Originally Posted By: Pheonix666
I've lived as a mormon for about 17 years, so I've had my fair share of experiences...About that time, in July, I became more of a cold hearted bastard and had a wonderful heated argument with a mormon missionary...At first, he began like they always do, and said that I'll burn for all eternity if I don't worship his sort of god.


Earlier in this thread...

 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
NO Mormon or Jehovah's Witness would ever tell ANYONE that they are going to burn in hell for ANYTHING because neither one of them believe in hell, nor do they believe that their is a place where "souls" burn, either temporarily or eternally.


CS is right. I’m surprised that someone who identifies himself as a former Mormon of 17 years would be so oblivious to their doctrine… and also their culture. Either you grew up among the most heretical Mormons that ever walked the planet, or there’s something fishier about your story than oil-packed solid white albacore.
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#48206 - 02/06/11 11:37 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: XiaoGui17]
Pheonix666 Offline
stranger


Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 22
Loc: So Cal
Oh no, they still do preach about burning in hell. I've been told it too many times if I don't shape up and keep thinking the way that they do.

They believe in quite a number of things. Their 3 levels of heaven, a Fire and Brimstone sort of Hell, and Outer Darkness, or Oblivion.

The first level is Celestial, which has three separate levels in itself. Its there where you don't have much of a free will, and are forced to sing praises to their imaginary god, and to become a sex machine for all eternity.

The second is Terrestrial. And thats basically what you see here. It is the earth that we live on now, but more peaceful, and it is styled as a waiting room for their sort of god and his angels to come down and talk to those people. Where they will try and sway people to their sort of thinking, and, in time, bring them to the first level.

The third is Telestial. It is basically an earth styled prison, full of violence and "sin". It is the earth that we now live in, and when their god and angels come down, we will be forced to listen to their long winded speeches and be doubly forced onto their sort of path.

Hell. A sort that is where Satan lives, and tortures you for all eternity. A sort of place where its hot as the sun during the winter months, and hotter still in the summer. A wonderful place where, according to the mormons, angels can still come down and visit. To talk to people, and try to get them to come to heaven with them.

Outer Darkness, or Oblivion. This is the no mans land. A place where your "soul" dies, and you become nothing. You have no consciousness or anything else, for you are now forever removed from the sights of men and their "god". Who, more than likely, has destroyed your "soul" utterly, and cast what was left away from him, then removed your imprint on the lives of others, forever.

This is what I have been taught, and what they still teach to this day.
_________________________
I bring the Light, but will you receive it?

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#48208 - 02/06/11 12:34 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Pheonix666]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
Sounds to me like you have a massive chip on your shoulder about this whole Christianity thing. By letting it irk you to such an extent, means that it still wields a great deal of power over you.

To most Satanists, Christianity (and religion in general) is but a disorder of the mind, and not to be held in any sort of regard. Would you be so preoccupied with the opinion of someone with Asperger's or schizophrenia? Who gives a damn about the Christian notion of Hell and all of their superstitions?

Apologies if I come off as being cryptic. Just in one of those moods today.
_________________________
Nothing is sacred.

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#48211 - 02/06/11 12:51 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Nemesis]
XiaoGui17 Offline
active member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1147
Loc: Amarillo, TX
@Pheonix666
I noticed your YouTube page says you're from El Paso, and it occurs to me that there are a number RLDS folks around there. Out of sheer curiosity, were you mainstream LDS or RLDS (C of C)? Because that may explain the discrepancies between what you’re describing and what I’ve seen of Mormons.


Edited by XiaoGui17 (02/06/11 12:52 PM)
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#48236 - 02/06/11 05:02 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
TheInsane Offline
member


Registered: 09/16/09
Posts: 356
I love to debate and discuss. If I was in a good mood and had nothing else to do I would invite them in to my home over a cup of tea. But then again I have never lived in an area (or a country) where this is common practice. If they came every week I would obviously get tired of it but as things are now it almost never happens and I do enjoy it when it does \:\)
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#48286 - 02/07/11 05:16 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: TheInsane]
JWG Offline
pledge


Registered: 10/29/09
Posts: 68
Like you, TI, I'd probably invite them in if I didn't already have company or didn't feel like just being alone and being with no company. Not too long ago when I was still heavily rebelling and struggling with the lingering fears of Christianity, I would have probably projected that inner struggle externally by being rude and slamming the door. But, now, I'd probably be more interested in entertaining their thoughts and see why they are whatever faith they are. Perhaps plant a few seeds of my own and see how they bloom. Doubt is the Devil's fruit.
_________________________
In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.
-Friedrich Nietzsche


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#48289 - 02/07/11 05:57 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: XiaoGui17]
Pheonix666 Offline
stranger


Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 22
Loc: So Cal
@XiaoGui17

LDS, not RLDS, or FLDS. I was raised in an older style, I guess you could say, as I had grown up in the late 80s-90s, and had to put up with so much crap. All this new stuff thats come out, really does baffle me sometimes. Like them saying that they're now considering themselves as "mormons". When, by the by, they would have called it an insult, and would have rathered be called LDS, instead.

I would call this 'hypocritical,' but others would say that they are changing, becoming more 'modern'. Say, and think, what you will of them, but tell me this: Is it not true that you've not experienced them as I did? Have you ever walked into their churches on sunday, and watched even one of their meetings take place? Its a cheap shot, I know, but have you?

One more thing. Yes, my home town is, in fact, El Paso, TX, which is home to the polygamist, and radical, LDS groups. However, I assure you, I've never been apart of them before, nor knew about them, until I had reached New York.
_________________________
I bring the Light, but will you receive it?

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#49562 - 02/24/11 03:32 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: ta2zz]
WildFlame Offline
stranger


Registered: 02/24/11
Posts: 16
Loc: Northeast, USA
I simply do not answer the door.

I have figured out the Jehovah's Witnesses modus operandi however. They feel the need to show up during holidays. They came on July 4th; they materialized on Labor Day.

Unfortunately, for myself, they caught me on Thanksgiving. I had stepped onto my back porch and a carload of them had pulled up next to my deck. There were three men and one woman. Naturally, the woman stepped out to accost me.

I ragged on them for dividing families (they do; they disfellowship family members/cut them off/make them outcasts). The woman tried to skirt around the issue and finally admitted that they do excommunicate "out of love."

I also told her that JW's are not Christians as they do not believe in Christ as God. So, we argued back and forth about that. Their interpretation of scripture is just as creative as any other Abrahamic religious outfit, aka, full of shit.

It was a waste of energy. I learned my lesson.


Edited by WildFlame (02/24/11 03:33 PM)
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#49592 - 02/24/11 09:08 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: WildFlame]
LucyFur Offline
member


Registered: 02/06/11
Posts: 122
Loc: Bible Belt, USA
Years ago I was a single mom working full time and going to school at night. Weekends with my children were sacred to me. Unfortunately, the Mormons and JW's did not see it that way as they continually harassed the people in our apartment complex every Saturday morning. I was usually dozing on the couch in my underwear and T-shirt with my little ones watching Pee-Wee Herman (yes, THAT long ago!), when they knocked on our door. My kids were taught never to answer the door so they barely noticed when the incessant knocking began. And since I didn't feel like talking to those freaks I refused to get up and answer. One morning the Mormon perverts decided to peer in through our window, presumably because I did not answer their knock. I promptly opened the door without putting anything on before hand, and threatened to sue them and their church and have them in jail for voyeurism and threatened to shoot them if they ever came back. They were so freaked out by this psycho bitch going all medieval on their asses while dressed in nothing but panties and a t-shirt that they nearly pissed themselves. My kids couldn't have been prouder of me!

That gave me an idea. From that point on I always answered the door naked when the Mormons and JW's showed up. My kids found this so disturbingly hilarious that they used to hunt me down to tell me that the JW's were coming just to watch their reaction to the naked crazy lady!

However, I humbly acquiesce to one who came up with a much more entertaining way to deal with them. This is my most favorite missionary 'dis' video ever:
Messing with Mormons
_________________________
I spit on your crapulous creeds.
Let all chaste women be utterly despised among you!


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#49594 - 02/24/11 09:39 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: LucyFur]
WildFlame Offline
stranger


Registered: 02/24/11
Posts: 16
Loc: Northeast, USA
^^That was hilarious, LucyFur (the video).

When I lived in apt. complex, I remember them coming around on Saturday mornings, too. If I recall, I think it was like 7:00 or 8:00 am.

My husband and I always stayed up late Friday night and slept most of the day Saturday. But those turkeys would wake us up.

Maybe at Halloween, I can find a goat head with horns and answer the door with that on. Hmmm. They might keep coming back.
_________________________
"Be a good craftsman; it won't stop you being a genius." Pierre Auguste Renoir

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#49596 - 02/24/11 09:48 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: WildFlame]
LucyFur Offline
member


Registered: 02/06/11
Posts: 122
Loc: Bible Belt, USA
Better yet, go to your local International market and buy a goat or sheep's head. I did this once.....

Anyway, they usually have a small, round hole punched in the top of their head from the way they are slaughtered, I presume. That hole is usually about the right size for a spell candle. Slap a black spell candle in that sucker, light it and let is burn down a bit to make it look like it was used in a ritual, then set it outside your door. That should take care of your problem.

I bought one and used it as a centerpiece for an initiatory feast a while back and got a lot of good laughs. The next day I boiled all the meat off the bones and sprayed it with polyurethane for future use. You never know when you will need a goat skull.....
_________________________
I spit on your crapulous creeds.
Let all chaste women be utterly despised among you!


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#49920 - 02/26/11 02:57 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: LucyFur]
WildFlame Offline
stranger


Registered: 02/24/11
Posts: 16
Loc: Northeast, USA
I collect bones. Lol. Mostly deer skulls and such. There is a goat farm not to far away!
_________________________
"Be a good craftsman; it won't stop you being a genius." Pierre Auguste Renoir

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#49926 - 02/26/11 03:40 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: WildFlame]
Nyte Offline
member


Registered: 10/19/09
Posts: 380
Loc: Ohio
 Originally Posted By: WildFlame
I collect bones. Lol. Mostly deer skulls and such. There is a goat farm not to far away!


You could get decent money for things like that on EBay. You'd be amazed at how big the Goth/Punk community is on there and they love that kind of stuff, at least from what I've heard. Clear coat a few bleached goat skulls and enjoy the extra income!

Damn, now I wish I lived close to some place that I could get animal skulls to finish and decorate. ;\)
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If only just for today.....

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#49927 - 02/26/11 04:18 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: WildFlame]
Hegesias Offline
active member


Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 725
I let the people in and make a cup of tea. A few times I have had to tell them I was too busy, but as they who I had to turn away were so well mannered, I invited them to return later.

Recently two Mormon fellows turned up and I made some tea for everyone, they had to sit on my weight bench because I have no couch but they were ever so well mannered and asked me if I would like to pray with them. Anyway, I am kneeling down in my living room with these Mormons, and I'm reading this prayer out dramatically and I did rather well if I don't say so myself. The young fellows looked pleased and asked what my beliefs were and I told them that I have seen a dark place and that this is all around and inside me.

They then asked if I'd like to receive a place in paradise and I just told them that I was awaiting to return to the dark place. They asked me why and I told them that it's just one of those things that is part of me.

I also explained that I was amoral and that this does not mean I'm some kind of uncultured swine, and that if a man has a kind nature to women and children he needn't have any ideology or morals about it.

I needn't tell them about anything to do with any kind of Satanism, I simply let them understand that I don't want anything at all from anyone, let alone a paradise.

I didn't tell them that what was put forward was quite like a family gathering with some distant relatives you really don't care to know because there certainly won't be any females you can have sex with there, that type of unwanted interaction event that you just call in and say you're can't make it. We are all entitled to our privacy and I appreciate privacy with a feminine creature or to simply be in seclusion.

I didn't tell them this part either, but who really wants to be consigned to an eternal numbing stasis with lobotomised sexless souls everywhere when you just want to deep stick dark and angry females and die spiritually while doing this. I like the feeling of the ego dying while having sex, and when this universe is smothered in blackness upon my death I will not be this man any more but the non existence.

Quite a unsettling thought to face eternity in such a place as paradise though... lovingly lobotomised and castrated, to be eternally smothered at the flaccid bosom of the sexless Jehovah.
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#49959 - 02/26/11 10:26 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Hegesias]
jesusbeater Offline
pledge


Registered: 11/15/07
Posts: 79
Loc: Ireland
A few years back when I was living in a crappy apartment in a rough part of Edinburgh, a couple of elderly women who were Jehovah's witness's called to the door.I answered the door and was extremely polite.Showed an interest in what they were saying.They asked me what my profession was,to which I replied,"an artist".To gain entry to my domain they asked if they may see my work,which they believed to be based on Christianity(as I had mislead them to believe).
On entering my abode,they were greeted by a 6" by 4" painting of the Virgin Mary having her womb tore out by blunt hooks,while a fig leaf lay beneath her, smeared in her excrement. Needless to say,they made their excuses and left.
As for the painting,I failed to sell it,so brought it home to Ireland.I believed it to be a suitable 60th birthday present for my mother.My father disagreed and burnt it several weeks later.
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crabpeople...crabpeople

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#49963 - 02/26/11 10:45 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: jesusbeater]
Hegesias Offline
active member


Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 725
You have more paintings? my music is what you might know as dadaism/ anti-art, similarly aggressive as your painting but not as iconoclastic as the he who burned the effigy of the unclean goddess of shit.
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#49965 - 02/26/11 11:01 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Hegesias]
jesusbeater Offline
pledge


Registered: 11/15/07
Posts: 79
Loc: Ireland
Unfortunately stopped painting on canvas a few years ago.Became a whore for money so became a graphic designer and then a tattoo artist.Both,although some way artistic,do take away form me doing what I want and working on a collaborative level.I have done a few album covers though for friends in the metal industry,but never reaching the level of what I used to paint.
If you have a link towards some of your music on myspace or somewhere,would love to listen to it.Not enough people like yourself around doing something different with music now a days,so always interested in hearing or seeing something new and thought provoking.
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crabpeople...crabpeople

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#52887 - 04/13/11 09:54 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: jesusbeater]
Ghostly1 Offline
member


Registered: 04/10/11
Posts: 147
Loc: NY
My first personal interaction with JW ended with them saying "Hello, we are Jehovah's messengers...."

And I said "that's not my fault" and slammed the door. The second one was less colorful, and more visual. I answered the door naked, with my shotgun. Nothing was said, nothing exchanged. Id like to place a large Sigil Of Baphomet on my door to make them change their minds altogether before they knock. I would consider that progress.

My uncle converted when I was still a young boy. He occasionally tries to talk to us.....but we kindly ignore him.
_________________________
Become a force of nature.

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#52893 - 04/13/11 10:53 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
Tesseract Offline
member


Registered: 02/08/11
Posts: 190
Loc: United States
Several years ago I lived in a small rental house; the back door was the main one I used, and the front door was unused and basically sealed up due to the way I had the house’s contents arranged. On the back door I mounted a sign that read, “Please use front door.” On the front door was a sign that read, “Please use back door.” There were at least a couple of times I sat and watched unwanted visitors go first to one door, then the other, and then gave up in irritation without having knocked on either door.

On the doors of a few of my previous homes I hung signs that read, “Absolutely NO salesmen, solicitors, or religion peddlers allowed.” This discouraged pretty much all unwanted intruders before they knocked.

The house I currently own is in an out of the way neighborhood, so I rarely get uninvited knockers, but when they do arrive, and when I bother to answer the door (which is infrequently), I just cut off salesman and religionists with a curt, “I’m not interested,” and close the door on them.

Life is just too short to waste even a minute on people who are trying to sell me something I don’t want.

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#52925 - 04/14/11 11:12 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Tesseract]
Deamon Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/27/11
Posts: 5
Loc: Australia
In my opinion I actually enjoy tormenting people (not psychically, just stuffing with their minds and stuff). Everything from pretending to speak different languages, using really big words (sometimes i make them up) or acting really slow (no offense is intended). I don't see why people don't enjoy it, but again i don't know what i would do if it wasn't for stupid people or people who come with a beautiful sales pitch memorized but have no actually knowledge on what they are selling or preaching, like how else would i spend my days, (maybe more productive??)
_________________________
oderint dum metuant - let them hate, so long as they fear

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#52964 - 04/14/11 08:17 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Severed Soul]
GregNotCraig Offline
stranger


Registered: 04/04/11
Posts: 30
Loc: Mesa, AZ, USA
I personally have never had the opportunity (why won't a jehova's witness knock on MY door??), but years ago, I had a couple of female neighbors (they lived together) that had fun with missionaries and witnesses alike -our apartment complex was near a JW kingdom hall AND a Mormon temple.

When the missionaries/witnesses were making their rounds, the girls knew it - especially if the missionaries were young men.
It was like they had Sheeple Detectors in their DNA.

The girls would answer the door in skimpy lingerie or one of those waist-length silk robes, wide open and nothing on underneath and invite them in and attempt to seduce the guys.
They actually succeeded on one occasion that I know of.


Edited by GregNotCraig (04/14/11 08:19 PM)
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An opensource-advocate geek photographer living in Mesa, AZ. Fear The Penguin. The cake is a lie.

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#52978 - 04/15/11 08:27 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: GregNotCraig]
Autodidact Offline
member


Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 428
 Originally Posted By: GregNotCraig
When the missionaries/witnesses were making their rounds, the girls knew it - especially if the missionaries were young men.
It was like they had Sheeple Detectors in their DNA.


Heh, more likely they had Man Detectors

Myself, I say, "No thanks" and close the door. I have far, far better things to do than waste my time talking to someone who's not listening.
_________________________
An nescis, mi fili, quantilla prudentia mundus regatur?

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#52980 - 04/15/11 08:50 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Autodidact]
Hegesias Offline
active member


Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 725
Is it just me or does the word itself "missionary" in association with the notion of women knocking on the door, immediately flash images of spread eagle, innocent Christian women?

I think they peddle more than the word of god, I think they secretly run a covert operandi. I will hint at this next time a suitably attractive one comes round because i think they have some very definite ideas about what they are really doing and what they really want to put into the minds of godless men.

Where the hell does "missionary position" come from anyway? Surely the Church because think about it: "what is your position in the lords Church my dear..." ...... "why, missionary father..." *wink*.

There must be something going on, I always felt there is more than meets the eye about those religious folk because they come round and you can tell they aren't really interested in the bible stuff, it's just to create sexual tension.

Shame they are all desperate old women though... these are desperate times.
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#53394 - 04/24/11 02:21 AM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Hegesias]
innertravel Offline
lurker


Registered: 11/17/10
Posts: 2
I love when the JW’s come to the door. I start out by explaining that they are the sheep and I’m a goat. The typical omniscient, omnipresent debate begins. Why would your loving god create the black plague, aids, ECT? It always ends with them explaining that its gods will and their belief is based on faith, we can just pray and ask god for help. They have no real answers. It’s a good time!
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#53422 - 04/24/11 09:10 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: innertravel]
Hegesias Offline
active member


Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 725
In all seriousness, I am not mean at all to them, I am only intolerant to drunks and druggies and anyone who thinks they can be an obstacle or a nuisance, when the religious people come round I am hospitable and make them a cup of tea and I'm just all around friendly and kind, it's not hard to be so, there is no need for religious talk when benevolent communication between people is being appreciated, there is no fear when in genuine communications. As genuine religious people will respect your good will and manners there is no need to convert you is there? such would be inappropriate, rude, to parrot and condescend one who is already showing utmost kindness and hospitality by his very nature to be so by default.


There is no reward for human kindness except the act itself. Who would need an ideology to understand human kindness is obviously conspiring and not to be trusted.

(Who would intentionally disturb another's solitary mindfulness? Certainly not a benevolent people?)

Here is a workable and easy to remember religion for you without embellishment:

Treat others with respect, respect their privacy, treat others as you would have them treat you and help others who are in danger if they are not making the situation purposely. Help others who are helping themselves. If you invade another's privacy with instructions, suggestions or orders you are a cunt and will be treated as a cunt with a cunting reputation as a parasite. I have spoken.




I tell them all I want is blackness when I am done here.
_________________________


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#55163 - 05/29/11 02:02 PM Re: What do you do when a missionary comes over? [Re: Hegesias]
SerialKeller Offline
stranger


Registered: 05/29/11
Posts: 19
Loc: Scotland
Most of the time, I say fuck off simply. If I'm out with friends and I see one preying on the weaker people around them, we surround them, and they will feel threatened soon.
One time, I was fucking quietly with my ex-boyfriend. We heard someone at the door, so we stopped, to listen (90% of the time it is my friends). We heard it was preachers being invited inside. So we fucked harder.

And then I was kicked out for the night and given a lecture tomorrow, and he was told never to come here again.

I wish when I have my own home they'll come to me. I actually enjoy company and I love to express my self to people who are offended by it. I think the worst thing in most arguments is when you realise "This person is completely happy with themself. This debate is useless".

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