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#39674 - 06/29/10 12:07 PM Satanist with religous parents
DharcDB Offline
stranger


Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 13
Loc: Florida
At home I reside with two extremely religious parents. They are very intolerant of any idea(s) that differ from their own. I feel sometimes that I should just tell them that I am a Satanist, but, I know my parents...They would go insane and it would be hell living with them another four years.

Has anyone here gone through similar conditions? Did you tell your parents that you were a Satanist, or continue to pretend to believe the way that your parents do?
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#39682 - 06/29/10 02:09 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: DharcDB]
Phobos Offline
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Registered: 05/04/10
Posts: 50
Loc: France
What rational reasons do you have to tell them? Would it be a good thing for them or for yourself? Would any of you feel happier or better?

I guess it would be somewhat crazy to "denounce" yourself if you know that things are going to turn bad. You should probably try to find a way to concile your beliefs with theirs as long as discussion is impossible.
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#39683 - 06/29/10 02:19 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: Phobos]
DharcDB Offline
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Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 13
Loc: Florida
I guess I just get annoyed with conceiling my beliefs all the time. I'm also just annoyed with the fact that they are so intolerant about any little thing that they disagree with...I'm not sure if they would eventually get over it; but I do not think they would. I recognize your point and guess that I'll just have to keep up the charade.
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#39684 - 06/29/10 02:20 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: Phobos]
Severed Soul Offline
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Registered: 04/04/10
Posts: 32
Loc: USA
I recently went through something similar. For it took me 3 years of knowing that I am a Satanist to tell my mother. She was raised christian and even works at a church. On top of that she cried when she found out I don't believe in god. So I was certain that if she knew I was a Satanist it would crush her and change our relationship for the worse. A couple months ago the topic of religion came up at my house and i decided to take a chance and go for it. Once I explained that it isn't worshiping the Devil and doing other crazy things she was completely fine with it and our relationship has not changed. Now that she knows I don't feel like there is a part of me that needs to get out. I hope this helps you, I realize your family situation is probably different. So just give it time and maybe eventually you will find a suitable time and environment to tell them.
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#39685 - 06/29/10 02:23 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: Severed Soul]
DharcDB Offline
stranger


Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 13
Loc: Florida
 Originally Posted By: Severed Soul
Now that she knows I don't feel like there is a part of me that needs to get out.


I believe that would be my main motive of telling my parents, I wish to hide my beliefs no longer, but wasn't quite sure if it was worth the potential consequences.
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#39686 - 06/29/10 02:31 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: DharcDB]
Severed Soul Offline
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Registered: 04/04/10
Posts: 32
Loc: USA
 Originally Posted By: DharcDB
wasn't quite sure if it was worth the potential consequences.


You are still very young and like myself probably have a lot to learn about Satanism and the philosophy. If you do plan on informing them of your beliefs be sure that you are able to answer any question they can throw at you about it. If I was to come out and tell them when I was 14 they may have just thought I was going through a bad phase and gonna start doing all sorts of crazy things. If you do manage to wait until you are older they will probably be more open to it because they will see that it was most likely a more educated choice of yours to make.
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#39687 - 06/29/10 02:36 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: Severed Soul]
DharcDB Offline
stranger


Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 13
Loc: Florida
I see your point and there probably isn't more to say here. I still intend to research more on the philosophy and should probably wait longer to let them know; maybe around eighteen or so.
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#39690 - 06/29/10 04:13 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: DharcDB]
Fnord Offline
senior member


Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 2085
Loc: Texas
Waiting would likely be a good idea.

From the sound of things, it looks like they'll likely see you as 'broken' and may redouble their efforts to 'fix' you.

That sounds like a potential hell on earth IMHO. \:\)
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#39691 - 06/29/10 04:54 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: Fnord]
Little Horn Offline
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Registered: 01/21/10
Posts: 11
Loc: Colorado
 Originally Posted By: Fnord
Waiting would likely be a good idea.

From the sound of things, it looks like they'll likely see you as 'broken' and may redouble their efforts to 'fix' you.

That sounds like a potential hell on earth IMHO. \:\)


Fnord is absolutely correct. I realize that this thread is for the most part already resolved, but do wait until you're older. You have a lot to learn, and your beliefs and values will likely change significantly by the time you are older, not to mention you will be able to assert yourself in a more intelligent manner.

When I first began to question the dogma and intolerance of my own parents, it turned into a nightmare of Christian therapy and failed exorcism attempts by the local holy roller brigade. I'm not saying it will happen to you, but be careful.

I'm sorry if this seems a bit self-righteous, but I know what I'm talking about. Tread lightly in the area of Satanic philosophy in a dogmatic home, especially when you're young and you probably already have enough shit going on to deal with.

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#39698 - 06/29/10 11:01 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: DharcDB]
ta2zz Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 1552
Loc: Connecticut

This has all been discussed before. Take a lesson from gays who are still in the closet…

Then read this http://www.the600club.com/topic39567.html

And this http://www.the600club.com/topic39609.html then continue on through any thread you find interesting.

What you must not forget at 14 you have no say in what you can do that’s still your parent’s right. Should they decide you need to be evaluated by a shrink you have nothing to say in the matter.

Besides wouldn’t it all suck to go through big shit only to call yourself a Buddhist in a few years? Most 14 year olds only think they know what they are.

~T~
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#39703 - 06/29/10 11:49 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: ta2zz]
zippadydooda Offline
pledge


Registered: 08/09/09
Posts: 61
Loc: San Diego, California
I understand your situation perfectly DharcDB.

I was 16 when I read the little black book. It's been a little over a year since, and I've managed to keep my veiwpoint under wraps. It's a long road ahead of you. As long as you don't leave any satanic paraphernalia laying around (pentagrams, TSB, etc) and can control yourself in an argument, keeping it to yourself can be done.

On the same note, be careful who you tell. I experienced a worried christian friend of mines mother tell my mother (letting him know was a big mistake). That was a fun situation to talk my way out of.

At any rate, I wish you success in keeping your secret a secret.
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#39712 - 06/30/10 08:53 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: zippadydooda]
DharcDB Offline
stranger


Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 13
Loc: Florida
I intend to keep "in the closet" about this, until I am older.

As far as leaving paraphernalia laying around, I do most of the things (reading literature and etc.) on my computer using "InPrivate" browsing (stores no history). I only have a couple of writings and such in a binder hidden in my room which they would be enraged if they found.

I can control myself in an argument, as I have had to.

And only one friend knows because he is too suprisingly a Satanist.

I visited a link previously posted here and agree with one comment that said either use this to grow and deal with it or become a lifelong victim. Thank you for the responses as it was good to here others went through religious and intolerant parents also.
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#39716 - 06/30/10 11:40 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: DharcDB]
The Zebu Offline
senior member


Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 1646
Loc: Orlando, FL
I "came out" two years ago (age 19) when my parents noticed the ratty black paperback in my backpack. Having a history of heretical curiosity, I could have simply passed it off as "exploring", but I decided to just frankly say, "I'm not a Catholic anymore, I don't believe in God, I'm a Satanist".

I don't consider myself LaVeyan, nor do I buy the whole of the Satanic Bible, but that book was the best thing I could throw myself behind ideologically to explain my beliefs and convince my parents I wasn't mentally ill or sacrificing cats.

The resulting weekend was bitter, to say the least, but when I went off to college two days later they seemed to get over it, seeing that I wasn't living under their roof anymore and I could take care of myself. We still have a great relationship, and despite being nominally religious it hasn't been an issue since.

I've heard some horror stories from Satanists whose families never got over it after years, though. You can break it to your parents if you feel they can handle it, but it's a good idea to wait until you've proven you can be independent and mature on your own.
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#39718 - 07/01/10 12:08 AM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: DharcDB]
Clicks Offline
member


Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 114
Loc: New Orleans
I had a similar experience with my family. Now, I don't call myself a Satanist, I am Atheist, and have just 2 days ago received my copy of TSB in the mail, along with all of Senor LaVey's other writings. However, when my mother found out I was an Atheist by reading through a couple conversations with friends that I forgot in cache on our computer, she immediately ran down the hallway to my room, punched my door, leaving a few nice knuckle holes, kicked the door open, and proceded to try to beat me. She's about 250 lbs, 5'8", and I'm slender, about 6'3", and I was laying on my bed, and I had her laying on top of me trying to hit me. It took some work but I got her off of me and was able to stand up. She raised her hand to try to slap me again, and out of instinct I made a fist and raised it near my face with an open hand in front of me, towards her. She immediately stepped back, screamed, "Get the fuck out of my house you fucking Atheist son of a bitch! (Ha, she insulted herself)" and left my room. I decided to just leave the house for a while, and on my way out she stepped out behind me, and pointing to this little plaque outside our front door with a prayer on it said, "Now you see this? This is a house of God and until you learn to respect that I don't want to see your ass back here." The problem obviously wasn't that I didn't respect her beliefs or the way she runs her house, but rather that she was crushed that I didn't follow suite. I left the house and didn't come back for 4 days, becuase it takes my mom a good while to get over most things. When I did come back, it was like 3 am and I was immediately in the middle of a conversion session with my mom and stepdad. After several hours of explaining myself to them, they ended it with, "We believe that deep down in your heart you know God and believe in him and one day you will realise that you're wrong and come back to him. But you are still our son and we will respect anything you do in life short of things that would be harmful to yourself or others." Then they left, having had the last word, and everything went back to how it was before...OR SO I THOUGHT! BUM BUM BUM! There was before that almost no speak of God or Jebus in the house, but after my mom always found a way to bring God into everything. I confronted her over the internet about it after I came to Okinawa and it had become too much. She told me that that is just the way she speaks and what she believes and that I shouldn't ask her to suppress herself because her beliefs make her uncomfortable. Now, I love my mom, but I treat everyone the same initially and change my treatment based on how they have treated me. So, I began to speak my mind about my own beliefs when in conversation with her, and as I knew would happen, she scolded me for trying to change her beliefs. And one final bit to this story, I'm pretty sure I can say I've been just about the same person for the past 6 years. I'm not going to say my recent past has been devoid of development, but my personality has remaind very largely unchanged. I say things that are drenched with sarcasm and at first seem overly pesimistic, but under the surface are just finding the silver lining. And my mom always recognise that before, that I had a way of finding the good in everything (although at some times it was severely inappropriate). Now, every time I make a comment like that on facebook I get a mile long message from her telling me to knock that negative shit off because our family and friends can read what I post and they don't appreciate it and it's making her lose face with them. She's changed her opinion of me and saw me in a different light (possibly black) since she discovered I was an Atheist. Had I identified as a Satanist I'm sure all hell would have broken loose and I would never be allowed back in that house.

Well, I've gone on for far too long with this story already, but OP, the point I'm trying to make is that if you have very religious parents, it's going to be hard to tell how they are going to react to your own personal beliefs. I thought that if I had told my mom I was an Atheist, she would be a little heart-broken and disappointed, but I didn't think she'd spin 160 on me (not 180 because she hasn't given up on me yet). I would certainly wait at least a few years, and then handle it delicately. I woudln't try to slip it into conversation either. I would do it straight up with them, arrange a little meeting between yourselves and just tell them, if you really want them to know.

Good luck with that, OP.

This has been Clicks.
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#39720 - 07/01/10 12:34 AM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: Clicks]
DharcDB Offline
stranger


Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 13
Loc: Florida
Thanks for the story Clicks, I have a fealing thats about how my parents would react, but my mom has a tendacy to not get over things; I would say to the extent that she wouldn't talk to me for years (shes done that with other family members). Now I wouldn't entirely hate her shutting up every now and then, but if she got that bad our relationship wouldn't be the same. My dad I don't think would mind as much, but would somehow link it to communsim (he can link anything he doesn't like to communism some how) and tell me think about what I did.

The only reasons I might have to tell them eventually is so that I wouldn't have to hide any longer, and because as soon as I'm moving out I don't plan to entirely hide my beliefs completely anymore; and would rather tell her myself then her hear some rumor from a friend that I somehow eat babies and worship the devil. (I know that's how she'll think of it, that's also another reason to tell her, to explain to her what Satanism actually is so she doesn't go insane)
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#39724 - 07/01/10 01:37 AM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: DharcDB]
Clicks Offline
member


Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 114
Loc: New Orleans
I'm actually surprised that my mom took it as well (or as un-over dramatically) as she did. When my sister in hear early teens had started listening to Marylin Manson, Gorgorth and Napalm Death, my mom made her go to counseling, started having her medicated and forced her to go to church. I think I may be the favorite in my family. I'm a musician and my main genres are technical death metal, black metal, and funeral doom, and my mom didn't care that I listened to it; she even listens to it now, reasoning that she really likes the instrumentals. When my sister moved out of the house about a year before I did her and my mom starting getting in fights over my sister's boyfriend and his family and wouldn't talk to her for almost 2 years. I'm sure she's going to escalate things between her and myself. And it all comes back to the way she interprets her religion, seeing that anyone who isn't a christian is bad and everything they do, regardless of whether it may be anything at all that a christian would do, is evil. My grandma on my stepdad's side is a reverend, also, and my mom keeps trying not to let her have a bad opinion of the family, so she's constantly reaffirming my grandma that I'm a christian. One day I'm just going to have to sit her down and tell her how shit is and that I expect the same respect for my beliefs that she expects of me and hers. It's never easy trying to tell your parents that you're not what they wanted you to be. I guess they just don't want us to go to hell.
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#39731 - 07/01/10 09:22 AM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: Clicks]
DharcDB Offline
stranger


Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 13
Loc: Florida
 Originally Posted By: Clicks
I'm actually surprised that my mom took it as well (or as un-over dramatically) as she did.

Mine will go completely insane, she kicked her daughter out when she came out of the closet. (lesbian, not Satanist)
 Originally Posted By: Clicks
...my mom made her go to counseling, started having her medicated and forced her to go to church.

I'm pretty sure she would have me in counseling and she would have me exorcised, lol. And I'm already forced to go to a Southern Baptist church.
 Originally Posted By: Clicks
I think I may be the favorite in my family.

I am pretty sure that I am too, but when I tell, I will be worse than here daughter on the scale of her favorites. (she still argues with her daughter)
 Originally Posted By: Clicks
I'm a musician and my main genres are technical death metal, black metal, and funeral doom

Are you in a band or something? If so, could I find your music online? It sounds pretty cool.
 Originally Posted By: Clicks
And it all comes back to the way she interprets her religion, seeing that anyone who isn't a christian is bad and everything they do, regardless of whether it may be anything at all that a christian would do, is evil.

That's exactly how my parents are, and it is quite annoying.
 Originally Posted By: Clicks
One day I'm just going to have to sit her down and tell her how shit is and that I expect the same respect for my beliefs that she expects of me and hers. It's never easy trying to tell your parents that you're not what they wanted you to be.

I think that will be the hardest part, I don't believe that she will respect my beliefs whatsoever. As far as me not being what they want me to be, if they don't like me, I'm me, I'm not changing for anyone; if they don't like that, they can fuck off.
 Originally Posted By: Clicks
I guess they just don't want us to go to hell.

If I'm wrong, I'm toast, whatever. I'll happily go to hell then spend my life struggling against my instincts.
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#39743 - 07/01/10 02:34 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: DharcDB]
NeoZombie Offline
pledge


Registered: 06/21/10
Posts: 60
Loc: Minnesota, USA
Consider yourself lucky my family nearly shit themselves when I told them I was not ever going to church; on easter, Xmas, or any Sunday for that matter. Every family get-together I am ivited to usually ends in a group gathering to save the lose soul. Please! They just will never understand the joys of seeking the Black Flame. Grandmother on my dad's side took it hard. So that was the next tactic they used to "save" my soul was the guilt trip. "Your going to give your grandmother a heartattack", they would say.

"Satan works in mysterious ways." LMAO
Glad you could make it!
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#39754 - 07/01/10 07:10 PM Re: Satanist with religous parents [Re: NeoZombie]
Clicks Offline
member


Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 114
Loc: New Orleans
I've seen that in most cases, the guilt trip. They beileve you are a lost soul and are going to hell and when you won't convert after they have laid out their 'facts' they will throw as much guilt at you as they can muster. My mom asked me straight up, "Will you do it for me (convert that is)?" I told her no, and she tells me I should be willing to do anything for my mom. I said I would, within reason, and chaning my life, that is MY life, to suit you just doesn't seem within reason to me. Then she tells me my grandma (the reverend) will be disappointed. Well, I don't care. You'd think the christians would consider themselves above giving a guilt trip, too. But, who really follows their religion to the 'T' anyway?

 Originally Posted By: DharcDB

 Originally Posted By: Clicks

I'm a musician and my main genres are technical death metal, black metal, and funeral doom


Are you in a band or something? If so, could I find your music online? It sounds pretty cool.


http://www.youtube.com/user/astrolmonkey

I don't play with a band, I don't like having other people put their 2 cents into my work. That makes it not so much mine.
I also have no real way of recording right now, so everything I do I just record straight out of guitar pro and throw on youtube. Well, not everything. I think I got like 30 of my about 80 songs up there. It's a little varied. Hope you like.
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