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#40470 - 07/19/10 06:16 AM The Voice of Satanism
Conrad Offline
Banned
stranger


Registered: 10/04/09
Posts: 9
I don't really know if anyone here will find this useful or not...



The Voice of Satanism
By Grand Magister Blackwood


Ebook, PDF Format

Free download: http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/the-voice-of-satanism/11784258

Satan is returning! Are you ready? He spoke to me informing me he was coming in 2012 to purge the earth from all fake Satanists who give him a bad name! Are you ready for the great cleansing? Are you ready to witness our religion be washed clean from fakers? Come all you under my protective wing, for I and Father Satan are one. With the success of my first book, the prophesied New World Satanic Bible, I have written another, MORE Satanic Bible, which we shall call "The Voice of Satanism", for I am the world renounded Global Leader of all Satanism. My first book has made me the recognized Black Pope around the world. My fame has opened many doors for me, as many of you have surely noticed, for I have been on many a cable programme promoting Satanism and prophesying the return of Satan our Sumerian King! So sit back, behold, and be amazed! For I am the voice of the dark truth! The voice of Satanism.

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#40471 - 07/19/10 07:57 AM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: Conrad]
Morgan Offline
Princess of Hell
stalker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 2956
Loc: New York City
Lol, thanks, I needed a laugh this morning.

Shit, Satan talks to him, God talks to Bush. At least I recognize the voice in my head is my own.

Global Leader, Black Pope, my what an active fantasy life he has.

Whatever, if Satan shows up, he owes me a beer.

The great cleansing, shit is Satan opening a laundry mat/car wash?

Morgan
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#40472 - 07/19/10 08:07 AM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: Morgan]
TV is God Moderator Offline
Moderator
member


Registered: 08/11/08
Posts: 273
Loc: The Cornhole
So let me get this straight....

In 2012 Satan is coming to kill "fake" satanists. So people are supposed to see that all Satanists have been killed and then assume it's Satan's doing? I also dig the MORE Satanic Bible. Satanic Bible 2: Judgment Day.

But who am I to judge the ever famous world recognized black pope.. uhh who? Oh the guy who puts free books on lulu? Oh that world recognized ever famous black pope.

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#40484 - 07/19/10 12:15 PM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: TV is God]
Dan_Dread Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 3810
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
All hail blackwood! The true dark lard of Satanism!

I don't see YOU saving up to buy Satan a house when he returns?

To paraphrase one of my favourite musical artists, '3 shades of crazy is where he comes from'.
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#40491 - 07/19/10 02:58 PM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: Conrad]
6Satan6Archist6 Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2509
Is that fat fuck still alive? Damn, I thought for sure he would have killed himself by now. Maybe I should try and seek him out online again. Many of good, cheap laughs came from me telling him what I thought about him and his "followers" and him trying in vain to defend himself. What a douche-bag.
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#40492 - 07/19/10 02:59 PM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: Conrad]
Diavolo Offline
RIP
stalker


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 4997
 Quote:
I was amazed and captivated by his every word. He was so focused on his train of thought that a pile of cigarette ashes had fallen in the cleavage of his beautiful soft man boobs.
Grand Magister Blackwood had a thyroid problem ever since he was a child which effected his weight and gave him breast. But the Black Pope of Satanism was far from fat. For he had a Solo Flex gym and a Thigh Master right in his truck’s cabin, which he regularly worked out on every other month.


I almost feel sorry for the guy. Almost. Keep up the good work. ;\)

D.

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#40493 - 07/19/10 03:05 PM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: Conrad]
Fnord Offline
senior member


Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 2085
Loc: Texas
 Originally Posted By: Conrad
I don't really know if anyone here will find this useful or not...


For myself, most definitely not.

I'd love for you to come back and make a post relative to its importance to you though.

Also, if you have a moment, can you tell me what 'renounded' means? I don't want to miss out on anything. Thanks!
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Dead and gone. Syonara.

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#40511 - 07/19/10 05:35 PM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: Fnord]
ceruleansteel Offline
active member


Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 784
Loc: Behind you
Did I miss something?

I took this entire thing as just a way to make fun of everyone, Christian and Satanist alike.

Surely this guy isn't trying to be serious, and surely ya'll aren't thinking he is...

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#40512 - 07/19/10 05:39 PM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: ceruleansteel]
Dan_Dread Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 3810
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel
Did I miss something?

I took this entire thing as just a way to make fun of everyone, Christian and Satanist alike.

Surely this guy isn't trying to be serious, and surely ya'll aren't thinking he is...


Blackwood? Oh he is dead serious.

If he is a troll he is the most dedicated and devoted troll of all time, as he has been doing this devil worshipping schtick for decades now.
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#40514 - 07/19/10 05:53 PM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: Dan_Dread]
ceruleansteel Offline
active member


Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 784
Loc: Behind you
If this were a real book I would own it simply because reading it was some damn good comedy.

How can he possibly be serious? He effectively mocks both sides of the fence and all players, including himself, in damn near every paragraph. And the lackey-intro was just as hilarious.

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#40515 - 07/19/10 06:03 PM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: ceruleansteel]
Caladrius Offline
member


Registered: 07/25/09
Posts: 318
Loc: SoCal
 Originally Posted By: ceruleansteel


How can he possibly be serious?


Oh Bitchwood is very serious like Dan says. Prolly has a brain tumor made of trans fat in his frontal lobe somewhere.

But he's serious about his beliefs [insane beliefs] enough to stay in character on national television. Unbeknownst to anyone who cares, Blubberwood did appear on the History channel and he'll be on Coast to Coast soon talking about Satan's return. You can watch his cameo in this youtube which shows how serious/retarded he is. He appears at time mark 5:36 --->

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjTvkYJbYQ8

Enjoy \:\)


Edited by Caladrius (07/19/10 06:04 PM)
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#40517 - 07/19/10 06:05 PM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: ceruleansteel]
Dan_Dread Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 3810
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
Oh, I don't know about the PDF. I know some self described ONA types have been making it their job to troll this guy, and I actually have heard about a fake Satanic Bible (complete with homoerotica). I have yet to care enough to track either his actual book nor the mock up, nor do I know which is linked here.

Blackwood is a real guy though, working hard to buy Satan a house to live in for his inevitable return.
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#40518 - 07/19/10 06:14 PM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: Dan_Dread]
Jake999 Offline
senior member


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
There are those for whom the term BATSHIT was made. Blackwood definitely fills the bill. Although one has to give him credit for consitency, however batshit crazy he might be, rather than the wishy-washy "ala carte satanists" who can't concretize their own beliefs, so they pick and choose, deciding that whatever they can warp, wedge or otherwise mutate in to some semblance of belief is "true Satanism." In that, I'd prefer the openly batshit crazy Blackwood.
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Bury your dead, pick up your weapon and soldier on.


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#40520 - 07/19/10 06:19 PM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: Dan_Dread]
Draculesti Offline
Impaler
member


Registered: 09/18/07
Posts: 325
Loc: Rockville, Maryland
 Quote:
Blackwood is a real guy though, working hard to buy Satan a house to live in for his inevitable return.


Sounds like he's gone the evangelical route.

"Satan needs YOUR money to build his house, which I will humbly live in and take care of until his return. Oh, and Satan would like a Lexus, too. And the unholiest of Rolexes. HAIL SATAN!!!"
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#40521 - 07/19/10 06:19 PM Re: The Voice of Satanism [Re: Jake999]
Dan_Dread Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 3810
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
You know, Jake..I have come to that conclusion as well. I'll take a serious devil worshipper like him over a wishy washy new agey type 'theistic Satanist' any day. I also tend to respect fundamentalist christians more than the more watered down varieties. There is something to be said for consistency for sure.
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