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#41079 - 07/30/10 04:38 AM Heroes
straif Offline
stranger


Registered: 07/20/10
Posts: 20
"The Hero is just the belated martyr, the king is the devourer."
For a long time this phrase has been my mantra, and for a long time it didn't help me... I kept being the hero and i got nowhere.
But this week has been gracious to me, as I have finally broken free of the horrible role of the hero.

A friend of mine decided to spring her pregnancy on me (well, not exactly "friend", but not quite a "vampire"). No, it is not mine as she is 4 months pregnant and she and I have not had sex since... november at the earliest. She asked if i could A: "beat up the father" or B: help her with the child.
Now, my entire life I was the kind of person who would jump at the chance to help someone in this situation, but with my budding career and complete lack of shits to give, I told her "you made your bed, now lay in it".
This will not seem like a huge accomplishment for most within this community, I know. However for me, this is something I would not have done 4 months ago. I have never been one to focus all attention on how things would affect me and say "fuck it" to the issues of vampires.
I feel that this is another step in the left direction for myself, as I have been choosing to focus on my own goals rather than being helping those who will not help themselves...

if anyone has any stories on when they realized they no longer had to be the hero, please share.

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#41090 - 07/30/10 10:12 AM Re: Heroes [Re: straif]
TV is God Moderator Offline
Moderator
member


Registered: 08/11/08
Posts: 273
Loc: The Cornhole
Heroes are people an individual chooses to think of as heroic. Heroes are subjective. I've certainly never considered altruism or senseless self-sacrifice to be heroic.

In the words of one of my personal heroes, "Arenít you sick of being told who your heroes ought to be? Being told who you ought to be looking up to? Iíll choose my own heroes, thank you very much."

What you're asking is for stories where one realized they did not have to be an altruist.

I can't say I personally have any good examples since I've never been in much a position to help people in the first place. When I was younger I would occasionally put change into donation jars at convince stores. These days I realize I'd rather have a candy bar than "donate for a cure" to this or that. I might suggest an altruist outlook for those trying to lose weight.

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#41102 - 07/30/10 01:58 PM Re: Heroes [Re: TV is God]
Jake999 Offline
senior member


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
And sometimes a hero is someone who just leaves the world alone. Sometimes it the quiet guy (or gal) who just makes up their mind that it's ok not to be rushing to the aid of everyone in every situation, because situations, sometimes good and sometimes bad, forge character. You can't forge your own character when someone else is constantly doing the heavy lifting.
_________________________
Bury your dead, pick up your weapon and soldier on.


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#41103 - 07/30/10 02:11 PM Re: Heroes [Re: TV is God]
Lamar Offline
member


Registered: 02/03/10
Posts: 226
Loc: Alabama
Funny you should mention "vampires," straif. This probably wouldn't be considered realizing I didn't have to be a hero but, becoming a little more self-aware of psychic vampirism. I recently had an encounter with a psychic vampire which I was completly unaware of it's vampirism over me. We were dating at the time. Her unstable emotional state and out right obsession with me left me completly drained, and I wasn't even aware. It wasn't even until a little after I broke it off that I realized what a psychic vampire she was. I guess now I know what to look for atleast.

My thoughts.

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#41178 - 08/01/10 01:25 AM Re: Heroes [Re: Lamar]
straif Offline
stranger


Registered: 07/20/10
Posts: 20
TV, I'd rather have a candy bar than donate money to some non-profit will most likely use 70% of their earnings to pay for their expenses. Plus dark chocolate reese's cups are fantastic!
I really like your take on heroes though. A lot of people thought Draco Vlad was a hero for saving Romania from the Turks, and he's the basis for "Dracula".
The term hero is certainly subjective when you get down to the nitty gritty of it.

Jake999, so you're taking more of a be a hero by living your own way and helping for the sake of helping, rather than helping because you have some bullshit idea implanted to "help everyone you can because that makes the world a better place" stance... or am I off by a long shot?
(sorry, I'm just curious)


Lamar, so long as you learn from your "mistakes" then they're not mistakes, ya know?
Finally understanding (really understanding, not just being aware of their existence) what psychic vampires are helps you to fight them more than anything else could.
So congrats!

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#41230 - 08/01/10 04:46 PM Re: Heroes [Re: straif]
Michael A.Aquino Offline
stalker


Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 2515
Loc: San Francisco, CA, USA
My goodness, what a bunch of grumpies.

I can't imagine life without heroes. They do nice things for other people, animals, the environment despite all odds, obstacles, setbacks, and discouragements. Self-glorification is incidental, often meaningless to them. What a tougher, duller, drearier slog life would be without them.
_________________________
Michael A. Aquino

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#41236 - 08/01/10 07:25 PM Re: Heroes [Re: straif]
SODOMIZER Offline
pledge


Registered: 07/04/10
Posts: 61
 Originally Posted By: straif
I told her "you made your bed, now lay in it".
This will not seem like a huge accomplishment for most within this community, I know.


No, it's a huge first step: you cut yourself free from social guilt.

The real hero is the one who creates, not the one who self-sacrifices so the irresponsible can keep destroying.
_________________________
SC / O9A

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#41252 - 08/02/10 12:05 AM Re: Heroes [Re: SODOMIZER]
MatthewJ1
Unregistered



Yes, I have my heroes. They have certainly changed over time though.

I always think there is at least one person out there who can inspire you in some way. All great artists, thinkers, and leaders inspire me to some extent.

Recent heroes: Brooks D. Kubik, Steve Justa, Dr. Ken Leistner, and Bradley J. Steiner. Yes, these guys are weight training legends. Straight forward people.

The heroics of Kubik, Justa, Steiner and Leistner are somewhat different from the standard. These guys are some of the hard asses of training so they are promoting real effort, tremendous self discipline, the building of real world strength and power, belief and motivation.

Yes, I have had some heroes for sure.

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#41353 - 08/03/10 02:39 AM Re: Heroes [Re: ]
straif Offline
stranger


Registered: 07/20/10
Posts: 20
Well thank you for the clarity, Sodomizer (never thought I'd be thanking anyone with that name, haha).
since then I've pretty much been able to say no to a lot of BS and get a lot more out of situations where I was helping. Not listening to the little man in my head has already helped out quite a bit.

MatthewJ1, I look at a lot of body builders as people to respect. After all they are devoting their entire lives to being exactly what they want to be. I myself have taken to a pretty heavy regiment... I'm a little bit short (5'5) but I feel like a giant all the time, so I feel that if I can get up to 210 or so I will be as big as I feel inside. I'm at 188 right now.
are you yourself a body builder?

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#41355 - 08/03/10 03:09 AM Re: Heroes [Re: straif]
MatthewJ1
Unregistered



Hiya Straif,

A bodybuilder? No, not exactly. I am interested in a training system called Dinosaur Training, which can be used for bodybuilding purposes.

Primarily Dinosaur Training is functional strength and power training using methods which the old timers pioneered and used to great effect, such as old style olympic lifting and strongman type work and stunts.

On top of these older training techniques there is also a modern powerlifting focus - heavy low rep and maximum weight singles work with plenty of power rack work.

Dino training is less about appearance and more about what you can do.

Dino training is an unusual system and it takes time and study to work your way into it, but it is goddamned fun.

I used it to move my squat from 30 kilos to 150 kilos and my deadlift from 50 kilos to 190 kilos in 4 years. These are modest numbers for a Dino, but in time I may be able to move those weights higher.

If this stuff sounds interesting to you then you can google Ironmind, old time strongman.com, Bill Hinbern and of course Dinosaur training and get info and books etc.

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#41445 - 08/04/10 03:54 PM Re: Heroes [Re: ]
straif Offline
stranger


Registered: 07/20/10
Posts: 20
Sounds right up my alley! thanks for ideas.
I've been an avid practitioner of Parkour for a number of years so most of the lifting I already do is centered around how to build much more useful muscle (weighted pullups, dips, etc.).
Dinosaur Training sounds pretty fantastic though.

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#41448 - 08/04/10 07:01 PM Re: Heroes [Re: straif]
Fist Moderator Offline
veteran member


Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 1453
Loc: B'mo Cautious MF
The problem is your are confusing hero with martyr or 'enabler'.

In the West, our social meme of hero stems mostly from ancient tribal customs of the great European tribes. In the English speaking world we take most of our traditions from the Anglo-Saxon ideals.

In our formal education, traditionally students were taught the Iliad an the Odyssey. The meme of Homeric Ethics has shaped much of the traditional Western world.

In more modern times, your average Western male has more in common with Alen Alda than Agamemnon or Ajax.

Personally, I choose to live my life by the warrior's ethos. As near as I can tell it is essentially the same in all cultures and is as ancient as any custom in human history.

 Quote:
if anyone has any stories on when they realized they no longer had to be the hero, please share.


Consider for a moment any axiom that is popular use today - particularly those found in youth culture. Now consider the advice of the 17th Century warrior sage Yamamoto Tsunetomo Samurai of the Saga-han:

"The Way of the Samurai is found in death. When it comes to either/or, there is only the quick choice of death. It is not particularly difficult. Be determined and advance. To say that dying without reaching one's aim is to die a dog's death is the frivolous way of sophisticates. When pressed with the choice of life or death, it is not necessary to gain one's aim. We all want to live. And in large part we make our logic according to what we like. But not having attained our aim and continuing to live is cowardice. This is a thin dangerous line. To die without gaining one's aim is a dog's death and fanaticism. But there is no shame in this. This is the substance of the Way of the Samurai. If by setting one's heart right every morning and evening, one is able to live as though his body were already dead, he gains freedom in the Way. His whole life will be without blame, and he will succeed in his calling."
_________________________
I am the Devil and I am here to do the Devil's work.

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