#41676 - 08/09/10 12:41 PM
The TRUTH
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6Satan6Archist6
senior member
Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2231
Loc: Oregon
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Last night, while I was sleeping, God came to me in a dream. But this isn't like any god you have ever heard of. This one is 12 feet tall, looks an awful lot like the offspring of a camel that was raped by an alligator and wears a propeller hat and orange and blue life jacket, neon-pink roller-skates and a sequin zebra striped clip-on tie.
Its' name is Q'jhxzyedf (pronounced "Bill") and it has tasked me with building it's new kingdom on Earth. Oh, by the way, Earth is actually called Xyxth135. Q'jhxzyedf has provided me with its autobiography titled "I am Q'jhxzyedf and You Are All idiotic Stupid Doo Doo Heads if You Don't Believe in Me" - which I am currently hard at work transferring to Ebook format, as is the preferred format of the gods.
Q'jhxzyedf exists in a reality known as Dverkiskentykowng. This reality occupies the same time and space as ours but is not perceptible to any of us, except for me, I am the special chose one. From now on, when Q'jhxzyedf speaks, it will be through me.
Q'jhxzyedf wants you all to know that refusal to believe will result in death at one point or another. Belief, however, will be rewarded with immortality. Not like the Christian immortality, none of us get to go to Dverkiskentykowng (also known as The Land of Big Titty Cocaine Strippers) except for me of course, but you will never, ever, ever, ever die. Plus you will get a bigger penis, or bigger boobs, whichever you want.
Act now, Q'jhxzyedf grows impatient.
_________________________
Ultimate Satanic Bad Ass of Ultimate Satanic Bad Assery PhD Esq. LLC Inc.^∞ DCLXVI°
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#41805 - 08/11/10 08:24 PM
Re: The TRUTH
[Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
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Autodidact
member
Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 371
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I must say, however, I have BIG penis now. You obviously did it wrong.
You'll forgive me if I disagree 
_________________________
An nescis, mi fili, quantilla prudentia mundus regatur?
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#41807 - 08/11/10 08:32 PM
Re: The TRUTH
[Re: Autodidact]
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6Satan6Archist6
senior member
Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 2231
Loc: Oregon
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I must say, however, I have BIG penis now. You obviously did it wrong. You'll forgive me if I disagree
I wouldn't be so quick to make such a grand assumption.
Q'jhxzyedf is not very forgiving and neither is the Highest Grand Magister of the 16th Sepulcher of the Council of the Altar of Q'jhxzyedf LLC.
_________________________
Ultimate Satanic Bad Ass of Ultimate Satanic Bad Assery PhD Esq. LLC Inc.^∞ DCLXVI°
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#41809 - 08/11/10 08:49 PM
Re: The TRUTH
[Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
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Autodidact
member
Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 371
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I must say, however, I have BIG penis now. You obviously did it wrong. You'll forgive me if I disagree I wouldn't be so quick to make such a grand assumption. Q'jhxzyedf is not very forgiving and neither is the Highest Grand Magister of the 16th Sepulcher of the Council of the Altar of Q'jhxzyedf LLC.
But wait - if I already have the bigger penis, then the Bit Titty fnord Cocaine Strippers will perceive me as their God, even if I'm in an alternate reality and they're only canonical.
Since I cannot perceive Dverkiskentykowng (a fact you've already accepted), you cannot prove to me that I did not cause my own enlight^H^H^H^H^Hlargement. I therefore cannot accept fnord your story of Q'jhxzyedf.
Clearly, this will acause them to Fall into my reality, where they will be the Subjects and I will be the Object representation.
I've logically disproved your belief - come into my space fnord and apprehend the Strippers.
_________________________
An nescis, mi fili, quantilla prudentia mundus regatur?
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#41812 - 08/11/10 09:16 PM
Re: The TRUTH
[Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
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Dan_Dread
senior member
Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 2010
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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I wouldn't be so quick to make such a grand assumption.
Q'jhxzyedf is not very forgiving and neither is the Highest Grand Magister of the 16th Sepulcher of the Council of the Altar of Q'jhxzyedf LLC.
Q'jhxzyedf came to me during a ritual, and told me that you do not speak for him. He then bestowed upon me the honour of heading up the TRUE temple of Q'jhxzyedf, who is only known by that name to the lower level initiates anyway. To the enlightened, his name is Todd.
As the high priest of the Temple of Todd, I declare for all to hear, that you are a fraud.
_________________________
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#41853 - 08/12/10 11:49 AM
Re: The TRUTH
[Re: 6Satan6Archist6]
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TV is God
member
Registered: 08/11/08
Posts: 199
Loc: The Cornhole
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I post - for comments - part of a controversial, and recent, article from the Counsel of Six Anals about Q'jhxzyedf.
BILL IS A PUSSY
If there is one thing which expresses the essence of the Satanic ethos it is culling; and if there is one way to detect a pseudo-Satanist it is their attitude to culling.
" I accept there is no law, no authority, no justice
Except my own
And that culling is a necessary act of Life.
I believe in one guide, Satan,
And in our right to rule mundanes.
You want somma this?! I'll cull your ass!
Yeah you BETTER keep walkin!"
-One of our badass members preaching the good word in the street
Counsel of Six Anals has always advocated the culling of Billtards and Toddfags cause they're all little bitches.
What they say is just so retarded it's like oh my freakin' god.
Now some pseudo-satanists say it's not practical or meaningful to not just leave them alone. To us, this is just Nazarene-speak, covered by the slick words of weedy charlatans. For they are basically weak, afraid. They ain't got our fresh style and they ain't got nothin' on us. They just little mundane PUNKS.
They can't touch this. Why? Cause we're really dark. We're sinister. We're evil motherfuckers -if i wake up - every morning - and - look in the - mirror - and say - man I'm a bad - ass - satan worshiping mother - fucker - then - its a - good day
For us, culling is natural fact of life – of how we live, or how we desire to live. We hard. We bad. Bill punks are gonna get slapped like the little bitches they are Council of Six Anals style!
So, good riddance to mundane trash. Good riddance to everything mundane.
Edited by TV is God (08/12/10 11:49 AM)
_________________________
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.
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