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#5387 - 03/12/08 01:41 PM Carers Allowance
DaVinci Offline
member


Registered: 02/09/08
Posts: 218
Loc: Australia
My Grandmother (on mum's side) is set to be celebrating her 92nd birthday in July this year. She has been a pensioner for nearly 30 years now and, in the last 4-5 years, has required the assistance of Carers as she has reached the stage we all will eventually, and can no longer look after herself in the correct manner. To resolve this issue she has decided to pack-up and move to Queensland with her son (my uncle) and his nosey wife.

All seemed to be going to plan and things were looking bright for the first time in a very long time for her. Unfortunately I had the unfortunate privilege of conversing with my uncle last night and discovered one major thing: one of the main reasons he is taking-on my Grandmother full-time, is so that he can obtain the Carers Allowance. Now while he is genuine in his thoughts; himself and his nosey wife have appeared to have "promised" certain belongings of my Grandmother's to their children. They are treating her like an asset (to boost their revenue) and are treating this as though she is already dead.

Now my uncle served as an Australian Federal Police Officer for nearly 30 years. He has since retired (has been for a while now) and no longer works. My Aunty, was once a carer at a Nursing Village. She has since retired. Now obviously, I am in no position to take my Grandmother on; as I work full-time and can't have her living on base (alot of security checks, etc. are needed.)

Now, my Grandmother is not exactly fond of the idea of moving up there because she literally feels like an asset and is worried that when she eventually passes on, all of her posessions will not go to their intended recipient. I live less than 50kms from where my uncle and his wife reside, so if anything is to happen I am close by. However, I can be called upon for overseas duties at anytime so it is not exactly 'easy' for me to be present 24/7.

I'm wondering, what do you guys think would be the best solution? I've gone over things a thousand times and both ways seem unfair to her. Now I love my Grandmother very much, to me she is the most beautiful woman on the planet -- but I'm put in a situation where I cannot make the decision of what is best for her. She knows what is best, but it puts her at an unfair advantage and makes her feel awkward.
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"In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." - Josť Narosky

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#5389 - 03/12/08 02:24 PM Re: Carers Allowance [Re: DaVinci]
Pan420 Offline
pledge


Registered: 03/05/08
Posts: 72
Loc: New Mexico
My advice would be to have a sit down meeting between your Grandma and the the rest of the family. Bring up the points that you and your grandma have concerns with and your family will bring up thiers as well. Come to an understanding and resolve any of the uneasiness that you and your grandma may be experiencing. Talking it out usually works.
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Pan420

"Use your fist and not your mouth",
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#5395 - 03/12/08 03:58 PM Re: Carers Allowance [Re: Pan420]
Sinistar Offline
member


Registered: 10/07/07
Posts: 174
Loc: New York City
It sounds like you're still an active duty soldier. If anything should go on with your grandmother, remember that the Red Cross will usually help get you home to sort out any family issues should you be deployed again.

Edited by Sinistar (03/12/08 03:59 PM)
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#5396 - 03/12/08 04:23 PM Re: Carers Allowance [Re: Pan420]
DaVinci Offline
member


Registered: 02/09/08
Posts: 218
Loc: Australia
 Originally Posted By: Pan420
My advice would be to have a sit down meeting between your Grandma and the the rest of the family. Bring up the points that you and your grandma have concerns with and your family will bring up thiers as well. Come to an understanding and resolve any of the uneasiness that you and your grandma may be experiencing. Talking it out usually works.


Yeah, we've tried one of those "mediating" session things with the whole family; but all the rest of them want to do is just get her settled in -- but they aren't listening to what is best for her. Now, for some reason, the rest of my family (except my Grandmother) are extremely intimidated by me -- why, I don't know, but they are. I've tried using this to my advantage but they can't get anything through their thick skulls.
_________________________
"In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." - Josť Narosky

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#5397 - 03/12/08 04:26 PM Re: Carers Allowance [Re: Sinistar]
DaVinci Offline
member


Registered: 02/09/08
Posts: 218
Loc: Australia
 Originally Posted By: Sinistar
It sounds like you're still an active duty soldier. If anything should go on with your grandmother, remember that the Red Cross will usually help get you home to sort out any family issues should you be deployed again.


I am indeed.

I knew the Red Cross did provide some-form of support, however it's not easy arranging my transfer from a deployment location. I work front-line, so normally I'll only ever be called upon for high risk situations in hostile environments -- which makes it hard for me to just "up & go" all of a sudden; normally I'm tied down. Is there a link to the Red Cross line with some more information about it?
_________________________
"In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." - Josť Narosky

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#5400 - 03/12/08 04:52 PM Re: Carers Allowance [Re: DaVinci]
Isaak w shipley Offline
member


Registered: 03/06/08
Posts: 112
Loc: Tenneessee
I would sat its very wrong to treat someone in this matter.
Ive been put in a stiuation quiet like this.My greandmother is dead but is still treated like a asset.Itook care of her and my uncle instead of being fair and use logic and invite me to live where i have lived all my life.He stiffed me,then invited my other uncle. Step- uncle who is my pappaws breed from another mate who he left my grandmother for.to live where i belong.
A satanic sin at its finest.I think davinci eventhough i no its a touchy subject>I would use locical thinking>but speak my mind
if necessary>Best of luck...



"Between family BLOOD,and money. Blood is not thicker than water"

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