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#51116 - 03/16/11 06:10 PM Re: Fetishes [Re: the earthly duck]
Silencer Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/06/11
Posts: 23
Loc: Somewhere where people from wo...
 Originally Posted By: the earthly duck
I have a rhetorical question that involves fetish.
Say a person was sexually abused as a child over the period of several years, by several different abusers. They then grew up and knowing it was wrong decided to role play with there partner/ spouse depicting the abusive nature. Would that make the two consenting adults sick in the head?


A. If your question is rethorical, no one will answer.

B. Seeying that you seek for answers, i'll provide you with a simple and short response:

That would depend on the nature of the victim's trauma and interpretation, especially if the aforementioned victim desires to be "abused" in role playing without telling the partner about the former abuse, which in that case doesn't make the partner nor both necessarily sick in the head .. Even when it is with mutual consent and knowledge of what the victim has gone trough, that is ofcourse a private matter between people, their relationship, their personal choices and foremost their personal sexlife.

Know how to treat a partner in proper manners if sexual abuse was there and never force if unasked.

Since this is not a forum about Psychology, i will give you no further reply about trauma's.

I would advice you to find your answers right here:

Click
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#51145 - 03/17/11 10:36 AM Re: Fetishes [Re: Silencer]
the earthly duck Offline
stranger


Registered: 09/22/09
Posts: 37
The link you gave me led to google.
I have spoken to my spouse about my abuse but still find the fetish and it still bothers me at times.
Certain situations trigger memories of the abuse and I feel uneasy around certain people like my mom being on of my primary abusers.
I don't fully understand why the abuse turned into a fetish but I would like to find out why. Anyone who has a link or some form of advice or something I would be very gratefull.

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#51146 - 03/17/11 10:43 AM Re: Fetishes [Re: the earthly duck]
the earthly duck Offline
stranger


Registered: 09/22/09
Posts: 37
In the case of roleplaying it take the role of the abuser.
Which is why I had posed the first question.
I understand that what was done to me was wrong and that it will always be wrong but I don't understand why when it comes to role playing with my wife I chose to be the abuser, I hated what was done to me but in those moments I chose to become what I hate.
I realize that it makes no sence.
I only seek to know more about the reason behind this mind set so I can get past it and move on.

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#51180 - 03/17/11 05:21 PM Re: Fetishes [Re: the earthly duck]
Morgan Offline
Princess of Hell
stalker


Registered: 08/29/07
Posts: 2956
Loc: New York City
Look, its kinda simple.

If roleplaying helps you to deal with the situation then do it.
If it makes your feeling worse about your earlier abuse then don't do it.

No one can give you a clear cut answer on what is going on in your own head.

So, go beat your wife, fuck her, get off, and sleep soundly knowing it won't happen to you again.

It's a gift that she is so understanding of your previous abuse and willing to do what she can to make you happy.

Don't take that for granted.

Morgan
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#51183 - 03/17/11 06:17 PM Re: Fetishes [Re: Daemon]
Ex_Insula_Angelorum Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 18
Loc: Mexico
This is not a fetish because involves a situation instead of an object, but I'm going to say it here anyway. It can be defined as a paraphilia but I couldn't find its name. I would be very surprised if it hasn't being invented yet.

I love to watch and read stories of members of a nuclear family having consensual sex, that's the thing that turns me on the most in this world. I want to clarify that I have no sexual desire for any of my relatives, just thinking about it makes me feel sick, but I'd love to have sex with a girl while we pretend to be siblings or pretend to be mother and son with an older woman and it would be 10 times better if we could do it in a Satanic ritual.

I hope I can fulfill my fantasy someday.

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#51186 - 03/17/11 07:53 PM Re: Fetishes [Re: the earthly duck]
Silencer Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/06/11
Posts: 23
Loc: Somewhere where people from wo...
 Originally Posted By: the earthly duck
The link you gave me led to google.
I have spoken to my spouse about my abuse but still find the fetish and it still bothers me at times.
Certain situations trigger memories of the abuse and I feel uneasy around certain people like my mom being on of my primary abusers.
I don't fully understand why the abuse turned into a fetish but I would like to find out why. Anyone who has a link or some form of advice or something I would be very gratefull.


lol yes it leads to google for a reason .. It will answer all your questions which you will not find here.
Find someone who can help you .. I do think that you are in the wrong forum and that your questions wont have an outcome, a fetish or tending to have a fetish isn't always about abuse either .. Depending how it relates to your past, present or future.

@Morgan: I do think that it is not a solution for him to abuse his wife if she would disagree with it or do it to make him happy.

@Ex_Insula_Angelorum: You should go together with the earthly duck for some counceling perhaps?


Edited by Silencer (03/17/11 08:04 PM)
Edit Reason: Correction
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#51188 - 03/17/11 09:03 PM Re: Fetishes [Re: the earthly duck]
MatthewJ1
Unregistered



Duck,

I think many times adults try to solve the family problems they experienced as children or teenagers by replaying them; that is, by adopting a particular role and compelling their partner to adopt another role and then trying to solve their older family problems with their partners.

I have seen some people actually “become” their father or their mother – personality or character wise - and then try to interpret their partner’s actions/words as if they were the words/actions of their mother or their father. The goal is again to resolve a problem from their family past, particularly if the family in question went through a messy divorce, or some other act, which tore the family apart.

I think the same goes for children or teenagers who were abused by parents or older siblings. I think you are trying to replay and resolve your past abuse issues by some "act of catharsis," which you have named a fetish. This “fetish” is not really a fetish at all in my opinion.

You seem to be trying to play the role of the powerful, in order to regain your personal self-esteem/power at the expense of a new victim, who loves you. You have just reversed the game. This is how you are re-playing the past. Does this make sense to you?

You cannot solve your problem this way.

You need to seek professional help in order to solve this as your current “fetish” or method does not really resolve the problem at all. It actually reinforces it.

By the way: I am not a professional, so my advice may be wrong.

Find somebody who knows for sure.

Cheers

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#51216 - 03/18/11 10:24 AM Re: Fetishes [Re: ]
the earthly duck Offline
stranger


Registered: 09/22/09
Posts: 37
- would like to say,thank you everyone for being so understanding And helpful. I will seek professional help and based on the shrinks suggestions I will take it from there.
As far as fetish goes I have an odd fixation with my wife feeti don't know why but I love her piglets(lol). I'm not very familiar with any other subjects that count as a fetish, I would like if possible a list so I can finnally put the forum back on the right track because I'm pretty sure I have some fetishes that I didn't even know were fetishes. Once again guys than you very much for your advice it was very helpful.

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#51220 - 03/18/11 01:24 PM Re: Fetishes [Re: the earthly duck]
Silencer Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/06/11
Posts: 23
Loc: Somewhere where people from wo...
 Originally Posted By: the earthly duck
- would like to say,thank you everyone for being so understanding And helpful. I will seek professional help and based on the shrinks suggestions I will take it from there.
As far as fetish goes I have an odd fixation with my wife feeti don't know why but I love her piglets(lol). I'm not very familiar with any other subjects that count as a fetish, I would like if possible a list so I can finnally put the forum back on the right track because I'm pretty sure I have some fetishes that I didn't even know were fetishes. Once again guys than you very much for your advice it was very helpful.


For some it may look a bit deviant that you have a feet fetish .. But that is a rather healthy fetish all in all where you can't speak of abusing or really hurting your partner if it is not mutual.
Than again, no one is to judge what couples do in their private life when speaking about Fetishists and their preferences.
There are many kinds of Fetishes, not many are aware if they actually have one. Don't mistake curiousity, interest or a liking .. for actually having a Fetish.

Because a lot handle it with complete idiocy and childish behaviour .. Like i've had certain people at work who do believe that you instantly have a Fetish or something along that line while in fact it is only about liking good looking females in latex and other stuff that is (remotely) sexually attractive to a woman.
Even a certain foreign type of woman can be inspiring, a Fetish? Not really. I guess some people can't grasp a mature approach about sex and what it is, in its diffirent variations.

Be on your way.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paraphilias

But hey, maybe i shouldn't tell you this, as i seem to profilerate to a serial killer, terrorist, rapist, a cop, a spy, a federal agent, intelligence, delusional, a psychopath, necropheliac, a deviant, murderer, a very bad man to mention a few things .. Mentioned by my dear coworkers and few others who in fact are totally in the dark with their skills on Psychology. And i'm happy to know that others know better, a tiny consolation but it is a consolation.

Good luck with your counceling and maybe we'll see you around here at a later time.
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#51277 - 03/18/11 10:19 PM Re: Fetishes [Re: Michael A.Aquino]
XiaoGui17 Offline
active member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1131
Loc: Amarillo, TX
 Originally Posted By: Michael A.Aquino
17 pages of fetishes and still going ... You people are really, like, you know, weird. Straighten up!


Aw, I was expecting a link to this when I saw the text you'd hyperlinked.

Oh, and about roleplaying to renact previous abuse, I agree with what's been said so far, but I may also refer you to the 'expert,' just in case the fact that he gets paid to give this kind of advice gives you any more confidence in what is said. It's not quite the same situation, but it's similar.
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#51375 - 03/20/11 06:59 AM Re: Fetishes [Re: XiaoGui17]
Hegesias Offline
active member


Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 725
Does libertarianism draw dividing line between what is necrobestiality and what is a food fetish?

The following is what may be regarded as rhetorical questions in attempt to present a holistic questioning of that which may or may not apply to a liberal citizen with the aforementioned sexual fetish dilemma. Although true life (or death) events have shown that such has occurred. The following may also be regarded as silly.

For say, would it be justified as to regard a cooked turkey as an animal as one had prepared to eat it thereafter it's death? is the turkey still an animal or a festive seasonal carcass?. And for say, if a person were to be blessed with a fetish for relations with say, a rendered permanently insentient 'cow', and for argument sake lets say he is a handsome farmer, who had planned with premeditation to eat his his cow later that evening, but upon finding the aforementioned object of his desire, he realises that the animal had died from natural causes, and upon making gaze upon the corpse or 'beef' whichever it is decided, he smells the aroma of death/beef whichever is decided, then comes to realise he is sexually aroused more than what he gets from his (for argument sake) endeavours as an avid auto-erotic asphyxiation hobbyist, and he then decides to act upon his newly found fetish desire, would this define him as being a food fetishist or a necrozoophile?

And would such a definition being established either way define contemporary or otherwise oral sex as either ritualised or simulated cannibalism?

And not entirely unrelated, for say, out of unbearable cognitive dissonance caused in frenzy of sexual orientation ambivalence caused by the aforementioned dilemma, he, the handsome farmer, makes the hazardous choice to hang himself forgetting that he is 'auto-erotic asphyxiation boy' and receives an unintentional 'angel lust' or terminal erection, from the hanging and after death, is, (for lack of a better word to describe either definition) the 'rigamortified' farmer still classed as a man, which is an animal according to Satanism? and where did his arousal really begin and end in all of this, where is the dividing line here with all of this? I will stop now as only the fictional man in question knows and he is dead or was he alive, he was neither like all of this because farmers can have sex with anything, even after they are dead if hanged in the aforementioned way, what would the woman be for engaging in such an act? His wife?

I am sorry Xiao I had to try and be friends. What? it's a valid argument


Edited by Hegesias (03/20/11 07:52 AM)
Edit Reason: Monty-Pythonism
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#51407 - 03/20/11 02:55 PM Re: Fetishes [Re: Hegesias]
XiaoGui17 Offline
active member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1131
Loc: Amarillo, TX
Since you're actually addressing me directly I guess I'll have a gander... or should that be a gobbler? I'm getting a bit of TL;DR from your in-depth analysis of the nuance between fucking food and fucking a dead animal; I'll try to make my answer more brief.

 Originally Posted By: Hegesias
Does libertarianism draw dividing line between what is necrobestiality and what is a food fetish?


No.

Do what you like in the privacy of your own home provided you're not hurting anyone else. I don't care who/what/how any guy fucks, so long as he's only harming/risking himself. I doubt the dead turkey cares one way or the other.
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#51451 - 03/21/11 02:47 AM Re: Fetishes [Re: Michael A.Aquino]
SatanicVeteran Offline
stranger


Registered: 10/25/09
Posts: 11
Loc: San Francisco
Role-Playing is really just a form of ritual trans-formative psycho-drama. altering the reality of the practitioners. I feel bad for people who don't understand that sex is a game of the psyche. I am fortunate enough to live in the kinkiest city in America!

But of course just like anything else it can be abused. Sex magic really is supposed to be a path towards liberation of the self. By breaking social taboos and overcoming self-generated obstacles the initiate is liberated from the spell cast of the hypnotizing forces of social control. or Maya

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#51889 - 03/29/11 04:56 AM Re: Fetishes [Re: SatanicVeteran]
SPEEDEMON Offline
stranger


Registered: 03/27/11
Posts: 35
Hey all, new obviously.

Fetishes:

1.) Women who wear glasses during sex.

2.) When woman takes control and they me take control too. I'm kinda 2 sided in that arena. For example if im going down on her I want her on top grinding my face....backwards.

3.) Having sex while she's got her shoes on.

4.) Re-earning my 'Redwings' every chance I can get =o)

========================================================

What turns me on....... >o)

If a woman is smart and powerfuly confident and I also like really mousy girls too. If she has an accent (to me Im from CA). I also love it when she wears glasses. I also love office type, goth and nerdy girls. Watching lesbian analingus and also giving a woman that myself turns me on. Why I don't know I'm just an ass guy. Also when a woman salivates way too much while performing oral on me and if she loves to sawllow too. Okay I will close the closet door before any more bones fly out, LOL.

PM for more if you dare.

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#52084 - 04/02/11 03:26 PM Re: Fetishes [Re: SPEEDEMON]
XiaoGui17 Offline
active member


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 1131
Loc: Amarillo, TX
 Originally Posted By: SPEEDEMON
Also when a woman salivates way too much while performing oral on me and if she loves to sawllow too.


If you like it, is it "way too much" or the right amount?

For me, how much saliva is released usually depends on how aggressive the guy is being. If he's sitting back and letting me do my own thing, chances are it'll be pretty neat. If he decides to push down on my head and thrust his hips, messiness is inevitable.
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