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#18386 - 01/18/09 12:44 AM Re: anyone seen this book [Re: Morgan]
daevid777 Offline
active member


Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 951
Loc: Hell's Pisshole, Texas
My parents and my older brother are Catholic, and I was "raised Catholic" - I was "Baptised", "First Holy Communion", and "Confirmation"...

I don't remember the Baptism, and what I do remember from my "First Holy Communion" it wasn't a pleasant experience for me. I honestly didn't want to go through with it, I didn't want to be there.

Confirmation class was a joke. I hated it, and I didn't exactly know why. I do know that our "instructor" was just some lady, and I was doing it because I pretty much had to... it was a "year" back then, now I think they've upped it to 2 or 3... maybe because of our class.

I've been to so many churches... and it was all very uncomfortable, boring, and unwelcomed. Even when I thought the priest did some good work at keeping the interest... it was most definitely "not for me".

My brother and I would make jokes afterward regarding the "mass", our "critique" if you will... in "good fun"...

it was really a joke to me... and totally fucked Saturdays for me... or Sunday mornings, which I think was worse. I don't know why I felt this way, and maybe some "soul-searching" abit might explain a few things.

I do remember thinking... "This Jesus guy is alright... how can I become that" - mostly when mentioning the healing of the sick or other "magical Jesus powers". I respected it, but I thought it a gyp for just one guy to have all that kind of power, and not share - anything.

Guess I was always like that - I didn't want to worship a God, I wanted to know how to become one.
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Where we're going, we don't need roads.

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#18388 - 01/18/09 01:15 AM Re: anyone seen this book [Re: daevid777]
Jake999 Offline
senior member


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
I was born into a Baptist family in Illinois. As a kid, you went to church. You didn't have a choice. You also went to Bible School. You didn't have a choice.

I lasted until I was about eleven, when I asked the question in Bible School, "If Adam and Eve had two sons, and Cain killed Abel, and then went away and took a wife, where did she come from?"

I never had to go to Bible School after that. Can't remember ever having to go to church, either. But I will give it credit for being a catalyst to get me to start researching when I had a question. I ended up learning to use a library at a young age and found that there was much more to literature than we as kids were being exposed to. Over the years, I read a lot of "holy texts" and studies a lot of "great civilizations," and found that there was no way that it made much sense to me. So from 1949 to until I walked into a book store, looking for something to read on a long flight to Turkey, I knew I was SOMETHING, I just didn't know what.

By the time I reached Istanbul, I knew.
_________________________
Bury your dead, pick up your weapon and soldier on.


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#18391 - 01/18/09 03:34 AM Re: anyone seen this book [Re: Jake999]
Bacchae Offline
Satan's White Trash Neighbor
member


Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 438
Loc: los angeles
am i a nutjob because i LOVED going to church?
i enjoyed the hell out of the ritual and the solemn atmosphere and the history. both biblical, and in all the old shit i discovered exploring the old building. i went to bible camp every year, and thats where i got my first stinkfinger. godDAAMN if i could go back in time i would so bang that little hooker!
then i went to a lutheran high school.
not so cool anymore.

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#18395 - 01/18/09 06:19 AM Re: anyone seen this book [Re: Bacchae]
spiderbreeder Offline
member


Registered: 11/29/08
Posts: 300
Loc: Sydney,Australia
I'm from a single parent family, and my Mother didn't christen me or have any kind of religious ceremony for me at all.
We never went to church.
My Grandparents, and aunts and uncles never did either.
When I asked them about god, I was told that he did not exist, and just for the record, Santa and the easter bunny never stopped at our place either.I always knew who brought me the presents and the choc's, and it wasn't a bloody rabbit or some fat guy in a red suit- I actually got in the shit with my best mate's parents when we were about six as I had let the cat out of the bag to her that none of that shit even existed and that her parents were liars...needless to say, she was inconsolable for quite a while there.
We still had Xmas where we got presents and ate a lot, just without all the religious trimmings and the church crap.
I am so grateful to them for not exposing me to all of that!

I feel that I had the ultimate Satanic upbringing even though my family probably didn't chart it that way.
I was one of those kids that was always off by themselves, reading, drawing, creating my own little worlds that I ruled over... an early memory is being ushered into the school councellor's office to find out if I was "normal" as I preferred to be alone so much.

Isn't "normal" just a cycle on your washing maching?

The SB was a total "Eureka!" moment- a real "coming home" feeling for me.
More importantly, it told me that being classed as a "lone wolf" by everyone in my life is more admirable than struggling to be accepted by the masses- You can take everything in more, experience more, when you're not swamped by assholes and ingrates, that's for sure.

Some might beg to differ, but I feel that I was born a Satanist- I just didn't know that "Satanist" is what I was until I saw myself and my way of existence reflected back at me from those pages.

There are those who are born into a certain path(white light religion) who just know it isn't for them all along, like Daevil.
Then there are the ones who are initial believers who turn from
former beliefs as a result of finally waking up.
Then you get the few who are born into an environment totally bereft of religion, that think for themselves, and answer to no external deity.

I feel that the first and the last are Born Satanists, and the second..... eventual Satanist maybe?

Excuse me while I go and put my hands in a bowl of ice. ;\)
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REGIE SATANAS!

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#18397 - 01/18/09 07:24 AM Re: anyone seen this book [Re: Draculesti]
Diavolo Offline
RIP
stalker


Registered: 09/02/07
Posts: 4997
Of course religion is a matter of choice, that is, considering the illusionary free will we have, but being inclined to be religious might not be a matter of choice.
You are not born with a genetic predisposition to become a catholic but you might prefectly well have the genetic set-up to be vulnerable for the argumentation that makes people become catholics; the lack of critical thinking as an example. Some have a genetic predisposition for violence, likely because it had benefits in a certain culture and due to the benefit, they outbreed the ones without it. It might be prefectly possible that in certain cultures a predisposition for religious behavior or thinking had the same benefits and it spread by breeding.

If it was purely a matter of information one has access to, how does one explain the high degree of religous nutters in let's say the USA compared to Europa? Maybe it was because at a certain point here, most of our religious nutters took the boat to the new continent because their religious attitide was at their disadvantage here and at an advantage there. And there they happily spread.

I think almost all tendencies are a matter of genes. Whether it is artistic, musical, rational or even sexual. Still, we aren't perfect 50/50 copies of our parents, mutations are a fact in reproduction and nurture does have some effect.
I got two sisters, one that is as egocentric as me, a trait that can be found throughout one side of the family, with my ex-grandmother as Satan's mother in law. The other has some hippie-shit tendencies. Physically she is also the one having most aspects of the other side of the family. If it was purely a matter of upbringing, we'd be all closely similar on those levels because the years that 'affected' us most were identical.

The basis is a matter of genes but it doesn't imply sameness.

D.

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#18416 - 01/18/09 06:10 PM Re: anyone seen this book [Re: Bacchae]
The Zebu Offline
senior member


Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 1647
Loc: Orlando, FL
I actually liked going to church, and found the whole "catholic aesthetic" thing cool. I felt proud to be of the "old Roman tradition", and liked reading about Catholicism, and all the crazy shit in the bible.

But as my worldview expanded, I realized that I didn't actually agree with it at heart. So I looked for something I could actually identify with. And here I am.
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«Recibe, ˇoh Lucifer! la sangre de esta víctima que sacrifico en tu honor.»

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#18418 - 01/18/09 06:58 PM Re: anyone seen this book [Re: The Zebu]
Jake999 Offline
senior member


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 2230
The traditions, the dogma, the theatrics... these are things that resonate with people, even though they will deny that it has any effect on them whatsoever. We enjoy our little excursions into the rarified air of ritual because we as people are ritualistic, sometimes to extreme. What is obsessive compulsion disorder except for ritualistic behavior out of control?

We all have personal little rituals that we engage in... some for good reason, some for seemingly no reason at all. We've all heard of the baseball player who might not wash his jersey for fear that it will cause the team to lose, or the golfer who whispers a short "prayer" before he swings. Those are forms of ritualization... so are more mundane things. Like ALWAYS putting the left sock on first. I do that and I'm aware that I do it. I've consciously thought about it and tried leading off with the right foot... it's not a pretty sight. I don't feel properly dressed. Carried to extreme, one might get undressed and start again.

Same thing happens with religious ritualizations, only on a larger scale. They become habits, learned by rote, and then we personalize them; know that we need them in our lives, although we might intellectualize it and realize that they don't REALLY do anything but comfort us in a way only we might understand. Sure. It might look strange as hell to somebody else, but to us, it just makes sense.

So, realize when your dress conspicuously in black, or always wear that lucky pin, or always sit with your back to the wall with your date (mate) on your right that you're ritualizing... could be OCD... could be clinging to that comforting blanket or familiarity.
_________________________
Bury your dead, pick up your weapon and soldier on.


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#18421 - 01/18/09 09:08 PM Re: anyone seen this book [Re: Jake999]
Nemesis Offline
senior member


Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2175
Loc: US
Here I am, thinking this thread is related to finding a book, lol.

Must be the Level vodka coursing through my bloodstream.

Neither of my parents were particularly religous, my mom even less so than my dad. My dad (and his siblings) had been raised in the Episcopilian branch, and thusly was the church that I attended with my dad on the weekends I spent with him.

For an eleven/twelve year old, I thought it was fun, getting to dress up, but the best part was the long table of munchies they set up after service. Cookies, donuts, coffee, whatever--stuff your face. It was really hard on my knees, those little pull-out things that were cushioned and you had to kneel on at multiple times during the service. I dug the wine that was given during Communion, and remember my dad telling me not to munch on the wafer "so visibly" as I made my way back to my seat, . Around this same age, I'd been given a copy of the New Testament (the cute little orange book!), and I thought I'd amend my ways. I tried to stop cussing, started saying my prayers, stopped masturbating with the massager (that didn't last too long). Needless to say, my mom (with whom I lived with, as she had custody), was not entirely against this "new" me, yet not enthusiastic about it either.

Any way, I knew it wasn't me, but it took me many years to finally accept myself as the way I am.
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Nothing is sacred.

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#18424 - 01/18/09 09:51 PM Re: anyone seen this book [Re: Nemesis]
Dan_Dread Offline
stalker


Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 3934
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
All these fun church stories almost makes me wish I had gotten the chance to go...but not really \:\)

I was raised in an environment where the issue of religion just never came up. I remember when I was about 5, learning of the concept of death. When I asked my mom about what happens to dead people, she told me straight up that they rot in the ground.A hard truth, and though I cried about it, I am grateful she gave the answer she did rather than indoctrinating me with falsehoods.

Nobody else in my family was ever religious, either. In fact as a child it was always quite baffling that adults could have 'imaginary friends' yet others in my age group were scolded for doing the same. I guess it only depends what you name him.
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ideological vandal

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#19185 - 01/28/09 09:41 AM Re: anyone seen this book [Re: Jake999]
Gilmoa Offline
stranger


Registered: 01/24/09
Posts: 8
Loc: San Antonio, Tx
 Originally Posted By: Jake999
I was born into a Baptist family in Illinois. As a kid, you went to church. You didn't have a choice. You also went to Bible School. You didn't have a choice.

I lasted until I was about eleven, when I asked the question in Bible School, "If Adam and Eve had two sons, and Cain killed Abel, and then went away and took a wife, where did she come from?"

I never had to go to Bible School after that. Can't remember ever having to go to church, either. But I will give it credit for being a catalyst to get me to start researching when I had a question. I ended up learning to use a library at a young age and found that there was much more to literature than we as kids were being exposed to. Over the years, I read a lot of "holy texts" and studies a lot of "great civilizations," and found that there was no way that it made much sense to me. So from 1949 to until I walked into a book store, looking for something to read on a long flight to Turkey, I knew I was SOMETHING, I just didn't know what.

By the time I reached Istanbul, I knew.


I agree, it is clear that a great deal of these fascinations with this so-called "God" is in retrospect, a bunch of irrelevant crap that makes no sense.

When I was told that "God" was an all-knowing, invisible entity that watches you even while you're taking a piss, I immediately withdrew from Christianity and concluded that it was either really fucked up or simply man's way of consoling his fear of death. I never liked going to church because it never felt right to waste an entire day, pleading to an imaginary guy who's stuck in the sky.

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